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A genial looking middle-aged woman is good. Or both, depending on the severity of your Oedipal complex. For me, an attractive person is best; you can imagine … well, all sorts. But everyone was looking down. Looking at their phone screens or their laptops or their tablets.
Their foreheads reflected spreadsheets and Facebook and Minecraft. I started spinning out.
Everything looked grey and colourless, and I felt completely unanchored. I was floating with no direction and with nobody and nothing to hold me down. Nothing to aim for and grab on to. Just grey, colourless, lifeless strangers. I got back to my seat. I looked around for one last chance at human reassurance. I got my phone out, the final distraction. Watching videos of cats looking at cucumbers.
I watched Unilad Gifs. At one point I watched three Fall Out Boy videos back to back. No one has ever done that before. The first thing you learn in your NHS prescribed cognitive behavioural therapy , six months after you begged your GP for help, four months after constant panic attacks led to a breakdown, and two months after you bought a book that says all that your trainee CBT therapist will ever tell you, is that the worst thing you can do, when suffering with anxiety , is avoidance.
The more you avoid the situations that cause you anxiety, the more anxiety they will cause, and soon enough the number of situations that cause you anxiety will increase. Your life will become narrower and the world will seem scarier. But in your pocket is a device that allows you to avoid everything at all times. I thought it would be a coping device at first, but soon realised that your phone can exacerbate the problem as it lowers your self-esteem, increases your fears, and narrows your life to endless scrolling.
The negative effects of social media on mental health have been well reported. Yet, with ever-rising rates in depression, suicide being the highest killer in men under 35 , and this being dubbed the age of anxiety, of course there is more to it than just the bright light on your screen keeping you up at night. Back on the train, I was watching Duck Rotation.
Panic and fear had been usurped by humming anxiety and self-loathing. I had spent one hour and 50 minutes of my short time on earth trying desperately to avoid my life. Instead, I was staring at a rotating virtual duck on my mobile phone screen. I took my headphones off and put my mobile away. I knelt on my chair and looked down the carriage.
No one looked back, they were all looking down at their screens. What was their excuse? We all use the internet as a distraction. None of us are proud of it, but we all find reasons to succumb; whether the reason is depression , anxiety or just boredom. Because the internet is always at our fingertips it is always there waiting for our weaker moments.
We have got too good at distracting ourselves from fear. This constant need for relief from reality will not just exacerbate issues, but cause them. But I can plan for the possibilities.
The second I start indulging fear, I get lost in a cycle of reactionary thoughts. The point is that speculation leads to feelings, which can lead to more speculation and then more feelings. It helps me to stop the cycle by recognizing the feeling—in that case, fear—and the reminding myself: This has actually shown to help people manage anxiety. I could write at the library. I could take the opportunity to downsize my stuff.
I could deal, which makes the uncertainty a little less scary. Over time, that body stress affects blood pressure, blood sugar, muscle tension, cholesterol level, breathing rate, and every organ in your body. Incorporate stress reduction techniques into your day, ideally meditation, even if just five to ten minutes daily. Finding your center will help you feel better prepared to tackle whatever comes your way. For example, my boyfriend and I are cramped in a small space with little storage.
My clothes are in bags spaced throughout the room, like some kind of luggage booby trap. Then suddenly, it dawned on me: So I asked my boyfriend to help me organize the space and keep it that way, and now I feel a lot less scattered.
Instead of noticing and appreciating the beauty in the moment, you get trapped in a fear-driven thought cycle about the potential for discomfort down the line. That means I can spend today doing other things, like writing, reading, relaxing in the sun, and connecting with people I love. Nothing stays the same forever.
The uncertainty can keep you up at night, obsessing over ways to protect yourself from anything that might go wrong. Or it can motivate you to practice acceptance, live in the moment, and embrace the adventure of living.
Fear: How to Overcome Fear and Live a Worry-Free Life Full of Endless Possibilities (Fear Cure) - Kindle edition by Edward Custo. Download it once and read it. Fear: How to Overcome Fear and Live a Worry-Free Life Full of Endless Possibilities (Fear Cure) eBook: Edward Custo: www.farmersmarketmusic.com: Kindle Store.
Photo by Modern Dope. Her latest book, Tiny Buddha's Worry Journal , which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.
What was their excuse? You worry every day about many different things, you can't get anxious thoughts out of your head, and it interferes with your daily life. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you'll feel much less anxious. Research shows that while you're worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. After you make the catalog, look at each fear, each anxious moment, and then let it go on its way.
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