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It almost seemed as if God was having a good laugh at my expense. Just then, two young women approached me. Could you help us? Not only has God brought these people into my life so I can talk to them about my faith, but they happen to be two attractive women. On the walk down to Dunster, I kept bringing up subjects that I felt sure would lead to a productive dialogue about Christian faith. Do you every think about this? Basically, all they wanted to do that night was to party at Dunster House, not to reflect on the meaning of life with their overly-eager guide.
For ten minutes I tried everything I could think of to get these women to talk about God. Of the thousands of students in Cambridge that night, it seemed as if they were the least interested in God. When we got to Dunster House, I walked them to the door. They thanked me and left quickly, no doubt glad to be away from that stranger who kept asking invasive questions. I felt like a complete idiot. This was a stupid idea. Just then I passed a student I recognized as being a friend of a friend, somebody I had met briefly during my freshman year.
I need to talk to you about God.
DIVINE AND EACH OTHER Shot of Love is the 21st studio album by American singer-songwriter Bob Dylan, fatal gunshot wound to the heart: case report". Or How God Uses Love to Open Us Up to the Divine and Each Other Linda Porter . Linda Porter and Us 7 To my surprise, he liked it and began explaining that.
And so began a conversation that lasted well into the night. That conversation turned into a weekly Bible study, as Matt and I studied the Gospels to find out about Jesus. But he was closer than he had been on that strange night when we met on the sidewalk outside of Dunster House.
Now I suppose a skeptic could always say that my meeting with Matt was just an accident. I could tell a dozen more stories like this, hundreds if I drew from the experiences of people I have known during my years as a pastor. There is no doubt in my mind that the guidance of the Holy Spirit often comes through the circumstances of our lives.
But there is a downside to this kind of guidance. How can we be sure that our interpretation of our circumstances is correct? Suppose I had been so convinced that God wanted me to share my faith with the two young women on their way to the party that I managed to worm my way into the festivities, spending the whole night beating my head against the rock of their disinterest, and thereby missing that providential meeting with Matt.
In my last two posts I explained that God can guide us through shaping the circumstances of our lives. But I admitted that this sort of guidance is often ambiguous. Circumstances may appear to point in more than one direction at the same time. Or different circumstances might seem to contradict each other.
So we need to be able to weigh the events of our lives to determine with greater precision how God may be guiding us. I would suggest that Scripture often provides the scales for this kind of discernment. Now before I go further, I should mention that I am a Christian who swims in the Reformed evangelical stream of the Protestant tradition. Without denigrating the wisdom found in such writings, I believe that the Bible is uniquely inspired and, therefore, uniquely authoritative, and, therefore, uniquely able to guide us in life.
The Bible provides a reliable yardstick by which to measure our claims to be guided by the Holy Spirit through circumstances or feelings. If, for example, you think that the Spirit is leading you to do something the Bible prohibits, you can be sure that your spiritual lenses have become foggy. But since the Spirit inspired the writers of Scripture, that same Spirit can be guaranteed not to lead us to contradict the plain direction of Scripture. I think Bill actually believed this. According to Scripture, adultery is wrong, plain and simple.
There is a positive side to scriptural discernment of circumstantial guidance. If events in your life seem to point you in a certain direction, you can be more confident about that direction if it leads you to do that which Scripture affirms. But if, on the other hand, events in your life give you an opportunity to share your faith with your neighbor, the fact that Scripture teaches you to do this very thing makes the probability of divine guidance in that direction more likely.
The Bible gives us much more than the ability to evaluate the spiritual significance of circumstances. It is the primary source for divine guidance in our life. The Spirit who inspired the biblical writers also works in our hearts to help us understand what God wants to say to us through the Bible. Of course I realize that some Christians today do not recognize the unique authority of Scripture.
They believe that their experience can trump biblical teaching. What if your experience and my experience lead to inconsistent conclusions about divine guidance? For example, Paul writes: Through this verse, the Spirit of God is guiding all of us to be thankful in prayer. In my last post, I began to discuss different ways God guides us through Scripture.
I focused especially on the sort of general guidance for our lives that is present throughout the Bible. From Scripture we know that we should love God, love our neighbors, love our enemies, etc. The Holy Spirit can also give quite specific direction as we encounter the text of the Scripture, taking that which is true for all Christians and applying it to our particular lives and situations.
This is one major reason, by the way, that I am a preacher. I connected this passage to the teaching of Jesus on marriage, calling my congregation to a new commitment to marriage. The next morning I received an altogether different kind of response. He had been in worship the day before and had a desperate need to speak with me. I rearranged my schedule so I could visit with him over his lunch hour.
Oh no, not a great start to this conversation , I thought quietly as I steeled myself for his criticism. He then told me his story. A couple years ago, he had begun an affair with a coworker. When his wife discovered his unfaithfulness, Jeff left her and their two small children, and moved in with his girlfriend. Shortly thereafter, he began divorce proceedings.
At the time of our lunch meeting, everything was final, except one last signature. Until the day before when I mentioned that God hates divorce, Jeff had never really questioned the morality of his actions. But he was tired of his marriage and in love with his coworker. This, by the way, illustrates quite wonderfully how the Spirit can use both circumstances and Scripture to guide us. Maybe I should try to get back with my wife, though by now she hates my guts.
What do you think I should do? She was a Christian, I discovered, as was Jeff, though he had not been living in fellowship with God for many years. As Jeff and I prayed together, I pleaded with God for help. Ten months later, I found myself praying with Jeff once again. But the context was very different.
The intervening months had been an emotional roller coaster for him and his wife. At first she laughed off his offer to reconcile. Lots of counseling, prayer, and support from other Christians slowly brought healing to their broken marriage. Ten months after my first meeting with Jeff I was praying with him. God had brought them both through an astounding process of reconciliation.
Before family and friends they testified to the power of the Scripture to change our lives for the better, by helping us to confront what is wrong and by teaching us to do what is right. Unfortunately, people can indulge in silly and self-serving interpretations of biblical texts, such as one I heard from a man teaching on Matthew 6: A financially prosperous life?
No Christian is immune from this disease, including me and you. This means that we will tend to mold both the meaning of Scripture and the guidance of the Spirit to fit our preconceived expectations. You can see this in all sorts of situations. Republicans tend to find their political views upheld in Scripture, while Democrats find their convictions in the Bible.
People who oppose the ordination of women see Scripture as lined up on their side, while those who support it believe that their view is biblical. And so it goes. One basic rule of thumb to remember is this: If your reading of the Bible completely confirms your pre-existing beliefs, you may well have projected those beliefs into Scripture.
On the contrary, if you find that Scripture is challenging your assumptions and commitments, then you may well be in touch with its genuine meaning. This is exactly what Paul urges upon us in Romans Notice that this transformation is an ongoing process, something Paul accentuates with his choice of Greek verb form: The Bible is one of the chief tools employed by the Spirit in this work of mental remodeling.
By the combination of Word and Spirit God guides us. But too often Protestant evangelicals like me envision this guidance individualistically. In my last post, I added that we can be guided through careful reasoning. I want to explain what I mean in this post. God has given us powers of reason to be used for his purposes. Moreover, the Spirit of God works in and through what can seem to us so natural and normal. The problem with this facet of spiritual guidance lies in the sin-induced corruption of our natural reason. When we were reconciled with God through Christ, our sin was forgiven and our minds began to be renewed.
But that renewal is an ongoing process that continues throughout our lives as we learn to think in new ways. No longer are we stuck in futile, human ways of thinking Eph 4: When we allow the Spirit of God to be active in every facet of our lives, then our thinking will also be guided by the Spirit Rom 8: But, none of this guarantees the rightness of our intellect. Reason, though a gift of God in creation and touched by the new creation, is not infallible. As we prayerfully ask the Lord to inspire our thinking, the Holy Spirit will lead us.
Reason often allows us to make connections among key factors, taking in the various kinds of input that God is supplying. I would never suggest that reason alone is adequate for spiritual discernment, but it does supply a crucial link in the chain of divine guidance. I must admit that the subject of guidance through dreams and visions does not reflect my personal experience to any great extent. In fact, I feel most comfortable among Christians who are guided by thinking, not by visions and dreams.
Rather, I must let the Bible speak. For this reason, I recognize the possibility of spiritual guidance through dreams and visions. Throughout the Bible, God communicates with his people through visionary experiences. In Genesis 15, the Lord speaks to Abraham in a vision Gen A few chapters later, God speaks to the gentile king Abimelech in a dream Gen So it goes throughout the Old Testament stories. Not long afterwards, Joseph receives direction to go to Egypt as, once again, an angel speaks to him in a dream Matt 2: If we were to think that things like this happened only for biblical characters, the promise of Joel corrects that misconception.
Several centuries before Christ, the Lord spoke through this Jewish prophet:. Then after I have poured out my rains again, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams. Your young men will see visions. In those days, I will pour out my Spirit even on servants, men and women alike Joel 2: The fulfillment of this prophecy at this time implies that Christians, both old and young, will experience divine guidance through dreams and visions.
The rest of the book of Acts illustrates this implication as the Holy Spirit guides the early Christians through extraordinary visual experiences. In Acts 16, for example, the Spirit at first spoke to Paul and Silas, telling them not to evangelize in the Roman provinces of Asia and Bithynia. For I am with you, and no one will harm you because many people here in this city belong to me. Of course, as we have noted with respect to other forms of guidance, that which we derive from dreams and visions must also be tested by Scripture in the context of prayerful, reasonable Christian community.
Throughout history, heretical theologies have often originated in the visions of their founders, visions inspired by something other than the Holy Spirit. But, for those of us inclined to exalt rationality far above visions, I daresay that most modern heresy stems from thinking, not dreaming. I know a woman named Sandy who, years ago, had a dream in which she and her husband were missionaries in a city she had never heard of, in a country on the other side of the globe from where they were presently living.
As she shared this dream with her husband and with her church, they all began to believe that Sandy had indeed heard from the Holy Spirit, even though she and her husband were not missionaries and the city revealed was in a country that prohibited the entrance of all missionaries.
He confirmed what Sandy had dreamed in hundreds of ways. Many, many years later, through a most amazing series of divine interventions, the dream was fulfilled, as they began to minister in the very city whose name had once revealed in a dream. A skeptic would scoffingly say that this was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But, knowing the journey of Sandy and her husband, I stand amazed at the grace of God who still speaks to us, as promised, through dreams and visions. For the safety of Sandy and her husband, I have not used her real name and I cannot divulge the country in which she serves. The Old Testament book of 1 Kings contains one of the most dramatic stories in all of Scripture 1 Kgs Israel was languishing under the corrupt leadership of King Ahab and Queen Jezebel. The royal couple had led the nation into the worship of the pagan gods, Baal and Asherah.
The king and queen had killed the prophets of God, replacing them with hundreds of pagan psychics. Only Elijah remained faithful and alive as a spokesman of the true God. Both sides would build altars on Mt. Carmel and prepare sacrifices on the altars. But they would not set fire to the sacrifices in the usual manner. Instead, they would wait for fire from heaven. Whichever deity consumed the sacrifice would be the winner.
That god would be recognized as the true God. The prophets of Baal went first, preparing a bull, placing it on their altar and calling out to their god. When Baal failed to answer, they began dancing wildly around the altar, crying out for a miracle. Baal was still and silent. Then Elijah repaired the altar of the Lord that had been torn down by the pagans.
He prepared his sacrifice and then, just to make things a lot more difficult for God, Elijah drenched everything with buckets of water until the ditch around the altar was filled to the brim. When all the preparations were completed, Elijah prayed a simple prayer, asking the Lord to demonstrate his sovereignty. Immediately the fire of the Lord flashed down from heaven and burned up the young bull, the wood, the stones, and the dust. It even licked up all the water in the ditch! The Lord is God! In the wake of victory, Elijah zealously killed the vanquished prophets of Baal.
Several weeks later, he found himself cowering in a cave in the desert, crying out to God for help. Then God instructed Elijah to stand outside of the cave and watch. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.
The God who had done such wonders on Mt. Though we might expect or even prefer dramatic demonstrations of divine guidance that knock us off our feet, the Holy Spirit sometimes speaks in a gentle whisper that brushes our hearts like a soft spring breeze. I suggested that we too can hear that quiet voice as the Spirit of God speaks even today.
Unfortunately, a multitude of contemporary Christians have trivialized this ministry of the Spirit. While recognizing that the Spirit will speak to us, we must also acknowledge our tendency to misinterpret what we hear, or to mistake our own inner voice for the voice of God. My friend Dave was a pastor to young adults in a large church. Energetic, handsome, godly, and obviously single, Dave found that many of the women in his group were interested in more than just his Bible teaching. But over time he developed an appropriate response: Thanks for sharing it with me.
Stories like this make it easy for those of us who are more intellectually oriented to discount hearing from God altogether. But this extreme view opposes both the biblical record and the testimony of thousands of wise, balanced Christians who are not inclined to conjure up divine voices. Greg, a scholarly Presbyterian minister, was teaching an adult Sunday school class one day. In the midst of his lecture, a woman entered and sat in the back of the class. Greg, who had never seen her before, barely took notice of her entrance until he heard an inner voice say distinctly: Somehow he managed to finish his lesson.
Many months later he did in fact marry that woman, but not because he clobbered her with a claim to spiritual guidance. First, he introduced himself to her. As a friendship developed, they both began to sense what Greg suspected from the beginning. Indeed, they did marry. Occasionally, the Holy Spirit almost shouts at us. Invasive and syrupy Musak filled our favorite Playplace, though I could hardly hear it because of the competing racket from nearby video games. Babies were crying; toddlers were squealing; parents were shouting as they tried to get their children to come out of the play structure.
It was noisy chaos. Have you ever sat down for a moment of quiet, only to notice that your mind keeps racing at breakneck speed? Do you ever try to hear the voice of God, only to be overwhelmed with dozens of other voices, including your own, and those of your parents, friends, colleagues, not to mention the culture?
If we are going to be ready to hear the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit, then somehow we have to quiet our hearts and learn to focus upon God. Time was when we were rebellious children; how long did our hearts stand out as Garisons against God? So, is a Parent in Gods stead to give grace? Weep for thy childe, pray for him; but do not sin for him, by discontent. When Paul was breathing out persecution against the Saints, and was sailing hell-ward, God turns him another way; before he was going to Damascus, God sends him to Ananias; before a Persecutor, now a Preacher.
Monica was weeping for her son Augustine, at last God gave him in upon prayer, and he became a famous instrument in the Church of God. Is it not thus? Thou perhaps hadst never prayed so much, if he had not sinn'd so much; his deadness quickens thee the more; the stone of his heart is an hammer to break thy heart. The servant is not above his Master. How oft hath he abused love? If you lay more weight upon an house then the pillars will bear, it must needs break. He is a loving friend.
There is no stop or stint in his love; but as the River Nilus, it overflowes all the bankes: All other love is hatred in comparison of the love of our friend. The Lord may sometimes change his Promise, as when he converts a temporall Promise into a spirituall; but he can never breake his Promise. He is a compassionate Friend. O the tendernesse and sympathy of our friend in Heaven! He is a constant Friend. What though I am despised, yet God loves me?
Alas, what is reproach? I have not that esteem from men as is suitable to my quality and graces. And doth this trouble? The world gives her Respects as she doth her places of preferment; more by favour often, then desert. Hast thou the ground of reall worth in thee? Let this content; no matter with what oblique eyes I am looked upon in the world, if I am rectus in curia, God thinks well of me. The world may put us in their Rubrick, and God put us in his black-book. Take heed of pride; O had others a window to look into thy brest, as Crates once expressed it or did thy heart stand where thy face doth, thou would'st wonder to have so much respect.
Your sufferings are not so great as your sinnes. Art thou under sufferings? One said, I am in prison till I am in prison; thou countest that a trouble which others would have worne as an ensigne of their glory. The words me thinks are Davids Letany; from men of the world which have their portion in this life, Good Lord deliver me.
God woke me up this morning and I know he wants me to spread his word. I want to give my all to the Lord and it is truly the greatest feeling. I hope someone reads this and asks about this gift, there is so much more to tell. Jerry L Martin August 16, Reply. There will be more about evil later in the book.
May God bless you and guide you with wisdom and love! Charles February 6, Reply. I was having a good day hanging with my friends and everything going pretty swell. When I went home I was confronted with a problem that I had been dealing with in my personal life. I always prayed to god about it, but in a simple matter of just words, not going into depth about how I felt on the matter. This day the problem really got to me and I had to speak to someone about it. I went over to my couch and started praying silently to myself.
As I continued praying the problem just started to break me down, I started praying harder and harder and harder till I was out of words.
That although he never speaks directly to me that I need a sense of direction, that I needed help at probably one of the lowest points I had faced in my life. I let the feeling stay for a bit, and then it got so overwhelming I had to open my eyes and look around, I strongly felt my chances seeing something out of the norm would be good. I opened them and nothing was there. Although the sun outside beaming through my window, was so bright and had a very bright white color to it.
Usually my prayers are the same short with emotion but never really any true passion. I was born Jehovah witness, which gave me the opportunity later in life to leave the religion because of how strict it was. I am familiar with God. But this incident was different, what I felt was different. Sometimes you have to force your mind to believe you felt something, but no this was physical and mental. Never had I felt it before in a prayer. Almost as if someone told me they were listening. I struggle whether to call myself crazy or embrace and invest in what I felt.
Very confusing episode in my life, as far as what to take on it. If that was truly Him or if it was something, I truly hope it comes back because there are so many things I need answers for in my life. Jerry L Martin February 10, Reply. What you have described, Charles, is what it is like to feel the presence of God. We are not alone. God is with us and on our side. No, this was probably the sanest moment of your life. Embrace and invest in what you felt?
Yes, it is a blessing, one you should cherish and remember and keep close to your heart. My sense is that God will almost certainly help you, but help may come in a form you do not expect. You may not even recognize it as help. It might come from someone around you or within reach — a friend, a minister, a counselor, or just a stranger. It could require that you reach out for their help. Pay close attention if you sense that God is pointing you in a direction.
Be well, my friend, and God bless! Matthew Foster February 1, Reply. Jerry, reflection on your experience of hearing God speak to you reminds me of others with similar accounts, and both lead me to consider a variety of questions. Various people in history have said God spoke to them, and now a friend of mine, whose sanity and rationality I do not doubt, is one of them. What am I to make of what he reports—and of what others reported long ago as well? I notice that as long as I am in the majority who has not had such an experience, I can comfortably view your and their accounts as curious, puzzling specimens of abnormal human experience.
But even a brief look at what more than a few people have written at this website indicates that there are more like you than I imagined—yikes! What should we make of such experiences? What do you make of your own experience, Jerry, and how do you compare it to other such cases in history? You have written eloquently of how you accepted the authenticity of what you experienced.
But I know you acknowledge that such an acceptance is not the end of reflection on what has happened to you. Is God really speaking to you and to all of these people in history? What about the ancient prophets of the Hebrew scriptures, like Isaiah and Jeremiah, Amos and Hosea—did they really hear what they wrote down? Or did they invent it and deceive us? Or were they trying to give expression to what they thought God would say if God were to speak in a human language?
But then why go to such lengths to describe a seemingly independent source of these thoughts? Whatever we conclude about them, should it also guide how we view other famous cases? What did Muhammad really hear or experience? Or are none of them what they appear to be, and they should all be demythologized, deconstructed somehow? While these two appear to be mutually exclusive, is it possible in any sense for both to be true? Are there any additional possibilities? Of course, any of us can choose to ponder these questions, and to many of us they may seem ultimately irresolvable.
Thus, Jerry, you have an opportunity most of us do not have, to engage in an internal dialogue—between the mind which has had these experiences of God speaking, and the mind that can investigate, as logically and as objectively as one can, what these experiences mean. Nor do I myself think one must take such a position, although I acknowledge that on this I can only speak as an outsider. On the contrary, it seems to me, to be a human being is to be thrown into a life where we cannot avoid such questions, a life in which these questions assail and also intrigue us—and, yes, may also tempt with distracting digressions as well as enlighten with new understanding.
To take one example of this kind of comparing and testing: Muhammad said God told him there would be no subsequent messengers after him. Who is right, and why? But perhaps neither claim should be judged by whether it corresponds to an objective reality, which in any case seems impossible to resolve empirically. Alternatively and this, for now, is perhaps my response to my own inquiry here , we could interpret such claims through an hypothesis about how all humans are quite capable of finding within ourselves many voices.
All these voices give us information about the world, the whole of reality, and, simultaneously, information by means of which we try to navigate our way in that reality. We may wish that the investigation of such experiences could end by telling us whose claims are correct and whose are false. I suspect we all cling or one of the voices within us clings!
And obviously, sometimes we must, with fear and trembling, make such judgments about the more mundane, internal conflicts we all experience. And no experience excuses any of us, as either subjects or observers, from the tasks of life and the challenges of being faithful to God as best we can understand God.
While that conclusion may be disappointing, there is at least one respect in which it leaves me glad: It preserves Jerry, certainly in my mind and I hope in his, from the burden of somehow having to prove he is neither weirdly gifted nor bizarrely deficient, and lets him continue to be himself—and just my friend.
Most religious people sometimes sense the divine presence. It may be a moment of inner prompting or warning, similar to the voice of conscience. It may be a moment of worship or meditation, of tragedy or joy, of profound loss or miraculous rescue. It may occur in the I-Thou of love and family and friendship, or in appreciation of the mighty frame of the universe, as we sense the divine auspices. Or, for some of us, it comes in a voice or vision. The voice and vision are not strange, separate categories. They are merely at one end of a spectrum of ways the divine reality manifests itself.
If you were an atheist, all this would make no sense, of course, but this is a conversation between friends. Can such experiences be mistaken? Human beings are fallible. Mistakes can range from mental derangement to mistaking the thrill of seeing the Grand Canyon for a burst of the divine. How do you test the spirits, the voice, the divine prompting or warning? There are two places to check, the inward and the outward. Was the person on drugs or prone to fantasy? Does the person have a fanatical desire to believe that God is speaking to him or her, or an ego gratification at stake?
When I felt a swell of pride at hearing from God, the line immediately went dead. Meditation and devotional moments can be helpful. If it is telling me that it is okay to cheat on my wife, it is probably not God speaking. Or to jump off the cliff. Even Jesus rejected such devilish dares. Did the ancient prophets actually hear God speak? It is much more likely if you believe in God at all than that they took the liberty to attribute to God merely what they themselves thought.
Look at the circumstances. More often than not, they were quite surprised to hear God speaking to them and resisted the assignment God gave them. What of all the other prophets and seers? Here we have to exercise spiritual discernment, and it is not easy. Because of my own experience, I have a bias in favor of giving some credence to their reports, but always keeping in mind that we are all fallible. In my own case, it is clear that God speaks to me in my own language and using my own concepts which are sometimes challenged.
God answers questions as I have framed them. Someone else would have asked different questions. Later in the book, I am told to read the ancient scriptures of the various religions and ask about them. I am told that the divine reality has many sides, both personal and transpersonal, both immanent and transcendent. One reason the various revelations differ is that the divine reality manifested different sides of itself to different peoples, and I am told why. I am told what parts they got right and what parts less so. What status should a reader give to what God has told me?
First, I am fallible as were the seers and prophets. Second, I was told explicitly that God was not giving me any authority. Well, it certainly could be the voice of God, as I believe it is, so I think you and other readers should take it seriously. You should read it with an open heart and mind, guided more by your own spiritual attunement than by more distant doubts and worries, and take in those parts that speak to you, as if you alone were their intended audience. I have not answered all your questions, Matthew, and I would welcome further discussion.
Maple Green Beans January 17, Reply. I really enjoy you sharing your message, THE message, because I do believe their is one unifying message. There is, a for lack of better terms, a harmonic expression that is in all living things; it permeates all that we are and every living thing around us, and we are part of that too. When we have something to tell someone,we communicate through words.
To be hear, which is a vibration. To truly feel the greatest story ever told. In the Bible it says in the beginning was the Word. So powerful that it caused men to write IT down…for what? What could possibly be so important that men were moved to put what they were experiencing down onto paper. The energy is always there because it comes through us, not to us. A lot of people are waiting for that perfect AH! Its like waiting for the phone to ring rather than picking it up. Waiting like a lover.
For me, we were taught trinity, 3 in 1. He comes with a lot to share and it is unlimited: Wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety and awe! I think the main thing is to be at peace with the idea that there is a higher power, that we are NOT the be all end all and that we are connected to every single living thing…when you get plugged into that, it really is a WOW! Look forward to reading more!
Jerry L Martin February 4, Reply. Yes, waiting for that perfect Ah, an undeniable epiphany, a clear communication like, as you put it, the phone ringing, is a mistake. Yes I have true experience with God, in the year ,I had a major accident. I was in I. U at that time I did not know how many days had passed. I was unconscious there— all of a sudden I was conscious and I felt there is God near me who saved my life fractures,14 blood bottles and many operations and fully 9 months rest.
Jerry L Martin October 20, Reply. The worst experience of your life became the best. And, to this day, you know with palpable certitude that God is with you. I pray that you will always be blessed in this way. I used to be a person of the world, wallowing in the pleasures and desires of the flesh and laziness. I would sleep with my girlfriend, masturbate, watch pornography, engage in sexual talks, flirt with other women, lust after many others, buy sex toys, over eat, and curse like a sailor; whilst calling myself an adult.
I talked my girlfriend out of her walk in Christ for that reason. As a result, she started loving me more than God. I became content and stagnant; no longer seeking more out of life or putting forth any effort to go places sloth. I was just some overweight sinner gluttony. Then, it all happened in a year: The surgery was a success but my life was threatened with my head pumping out too much CSF Google it. So, I had another surgery to put a shunt in. That shunt failed, so another was installed.
I had radiation treatments. Got fired from the hotel I worked at, and I got fired from a school I worked at later in the year. Then, the truly crippling thing happened. I came down with radiation side effects which caused swelling in my brain and a loss of some cognition balance, memory, nystagmus eyes, left eyes stuck left, drooling, slurring speech like my mouth was full, could not swallow food so it came out through my nose, could not get an erection, double breathing at times, mild hallucinations of a bright light behind my eyes that shined, and feeling like my eyes were moving around my face On top of that, I lost all of my friends, but not my girlfriend.
No one else could understand me when I talked, but she could. That is still so precious to me. Sadly, she broke up with me from being stressed out at my condition. Ultimately,she told me goodbye when I explained my love for her will never die. I was depressed and hurt. I tried to accept the fact that she was gone, but then I felt something. I loved her, that went without saying, but what I felt was a love that was more powerful than anything ever a love that makes you do anything for that other person regardless of you or what happens , true love.
I knew that she is the one. Here I was, happy and on top. Now, I was this broken, disabled guy. I wondered why God had this happen. Why I was being punished. I thought that he hated me. I started going to church for guidance, looking for some solution. Shortly after that, I made a decision to get my own bible, understanding that God hates no one, and things happen for a reason. About a day after I had it, my speech improved a little.
I read passages, scriptures, verses, and started living a more Christian lifestyle, meanwhile slowly getting back my physical traits that were gone speech is nearly all returned to normal, balance has gotten much better, and everything else is recovering. I joined a church in my neighborhood, and look forward to Sundays. Now, all that remains is her. I am waiting on her to come back.
God told me to just wait, to stay and endure my situation. I still love her very much after all, and I can say that with a big smile. I hope my story helps someone. Jerry L Martin September 6, Reply. Your story reminds me of the time my parents and a church group visited an inner-city mission.
It was the sort of place where someone who is down and out can get a hot meal and a clean bed for the night. We were given a tour and told about the work of the mission, and then we ate with the street people who were there that night. After a bit of talk and singing, anyone who felt moved to say something was invited to do so. To our surprise, one of the most respected members of the church, a solid family man who had a Ph.
He told everyone about his own wasted youth, his days as an alcoholic, and how it ruined his life until God, as he felt, turned him around. It was the most moving testimony I had ever heard, and I hoped it did as much for the street people as it did for me. Yours is the story of a different but equally destructive addiction, which sent you to the very bottom. One never knows which moments of despair also contain latent hope, an offer of grace. As for your girlfriend, you do need to be careful. The feeling that God is promising to do for us the very thing we most desperately want can just be the echo effect of our own earnest desires.
I hope that, if it is right for you and right for her, your dreams will come true. And, if it is not right, may God bless you in His own way. Letitia July 2, Reply. I would like your input on my situation. Rabbi asked me to make an appointment to speak with him about my experience in attending services. What I felt and what my thoughts were. He wanted to know my thoughts and feelings knowing I am coming from the Catholic Faith into Judaism; where I always felt I belonged since I was around 8 years old.
When I first began to attend he told me to continue my services at the Catholic Church while I feel my way at Shabbat Services. I did set up my appointment with Rabbi. We spoke, he saw some changes in me. He asked what bothered me the most about services. I told him getting the Hebrew pronunciation correct and keeping up during services in Hebrew. He gave me a book to take home to study. He told me to now set up an appointment with the priest at the church to discuss my possible conversion.
I never did believe in going on Sunday man-made law. I spoke to the priest that I had forgotten to call him last week to set up an appointment. He stared at me as if he saw the devil because I was wearing the Star of David. I spoke to him after services. He was rather rude and nasty to me and told me I needed to make up my mind.
Will just happen so much quicker and easier. I told HIM I was at a crossroads in my life. I asked for guidance in what direction for me to go. I started attending Torah study two weeks ago. I am planning a trip to Israel with the Congregation in February. I hope there is still room left for me to go at such a late notice. That is if things work out that I can make it.
Jerry L Martin July 8, Reply. The decision facing you is not uncommon, Letitia. God calls some people to stay in the tradition in which they were raised; He calls others to a different place. The rabbi was wise in asking you to speak to your priest. Sometimes people change faiths for light and transient reasons — the minister was boring, or they took offense at something. The question is not about particulars you like or dislike.
It is about your relationship with God. It is about where God is most available to you or wants you to be.
As far as I can tell, you are going out this decision exactly this spirit. Thank you for sharing this with us. Jenny May 29, Reply. Your latest chapter, 65, has filled me with wonder and recognition. This has been the crux of His message to me for the past two years. In these past two years, He has drawn me closer and closer to Himself. At first, I had the sense of His presence as something like the Shekinah cloud of presence- I had been accustomed to experiencing Him in this way from early mystic experiences and from a year or so in a Pentecostal church.
Then His presence became almost palpable- as if He was with me in person, but not visible. At this time, I began to do research on the Christian mystic tradition and discovered that Teresa of Avila claimed that Jesus was with her for three years, but invisibly. In fact, the mystics, especially in the Catholic traditions had, it seemed to me, extremely bizarre interactions with God and yet they believed them fully. I realized that God does not always make human sense. Also, later, I began to realize that God bends down to us where we are, and that their interactions with Him were as much a product of who He was as who they were and their own era, their own religion.
It was as though their own selves were the lens through which God suffered Himself to be seen, so there was some natural distortion of Himself. He has told me that the way I understand Him is through the lens of who I am and how we speak and how we understand Him now, in this era. He said that I am a mirror- and because I am human, the mirror of my spirit is not perfect, but it does not have to be.
I began to know Jesus on a very personal level. I began to know Him as someone full of patience, delight in the details, delighting simply in being together, full of good humor, generous, interested, gentle, perceptive, self-sacrificing. However, I could not understand why He spent so much time with me without making me some powerhouse of religious performance- it seemed as if He was getting very poor value back for His significant investment in my life. I continued to be the same person- eventually with less anxiety, less guilt and less religious bondage and with more joy, peace and tenderness- but still, basically the same person.
And I had to laugh and put my head down on the desk in a combination of humorous wonder and frustration. I was walking with Him once, thinking about this verse that talks about the steps of a Godly person are ordained by God and that God delights in all the details of their life. After a year, my ego began to trip me up, thinking that I was somehow earning these experiences of God and then I did trip up physically and while healing, I let go of the entire idea of earning God.
Then I let the experience go, for half a year.
It was as if my spirit were a plot of ground that had produced a large harvest and God was letting it lie fallow for a season, to recharge and regroup. That is when I was learning that phrase: Then He returned, but deeper than before. A great deal of both my anxiety and my pride were gone, leaving me open, present to Him and receptive. My experiences with Him began to become more visual. I was in the habit of resting in and talking to and worshiping Him at night, before I fell asleep. As I was doing this, I began to find myself in that room.
This was disconcerting, at first, but by then, I had much more perspective on the mystery of the presence of God, so I was able to simply accept the experience. At first, the room was closed off, but as I became more confident and comfortable, the walls came down and it became more of a front porch. Almost every night I am with Him in those rooms, talking, or just being together, or caught up in mutual love- that is, I worship and adore Him and He loves me. He has a degree of vulnerability that is breath taking.
He is filled with emotion- emotion flows naturally through Him. He frequently is caught up in pain and grief over the pain and grief of this life. But I increasing believe that He is waiting for completion- for the brokenness of this life to be healed, to wipe the tears from every eye.
He seems to be hanging between now and that time, though of course, He dwells also outside of time and so He is in all times at once. But I know that this grief and pain sometimes moves through Him and He lets me comfort Him- though what comfort I can be to Him, I do not know. But He seems to long for this recognition of His emotional vulnerability and then He seems to delight in being responded to authentically. For me, the idea of the Trinity helps explain or put into context His way of giving and receiving. It seems that the very nature of God is to be in relationship to Himself- He is caught up in recognizing, adoring, having perfect faith in, yielding to and receiving Himself as one and as separate persons.
But I never completely lose the sense of myself as an individual life. Sometimes I actually want to- the pleasure is so great that I feel as if I wish to be completely enveloped into God. This seemed to delight Him very much; He did not want me to forget it. It seems to me that the things that prevent people from moving toward this kind of intimate, personal giving and receiving with God, or even realizing this is possible, is their wrong image of Him- exactly what He has told you. People seem to be largely caught up in their religious fear of a God that is too huge, too unknowable, too far beyond reach and also in their personal feelings of guilt, shame.
Or if they are like most mystics or spiritual seekers, they are seeking an impersonal oneness- the Life force, as it were. They wish to be absorbed into this; to lose consciousness of themselves. In any case, I think I am rambling now.
I just wanted you to know that God seems to be taking us on very similar spiritual journeys- and many other people are also being caught up in this- through the emerging understanding of the Trinity, for example, and teachers like Richard Rohr. As always, I eagerly await each new chapter as you present it on your book and I am grateful for your continued obedience to the guidance of God in your life, even when He takes you way outside the comfort zone in such a public way.
That is not easy. Jerry L Martin June 1, Reply. Jenny, judging from my own experience, what you write reaches to the heart of life with God, and of His life with us. Shelly April 27, Reply. Hello, I really hope I can put this in words the correct way. When I was single with two little girls. I was at the end, the father was taking me to court over and over.
I had run out of money. I had nowhere to turn, I went to a little church that I went to as a child. The girls had never seen them. I went home that night and everyone was in their bed sleeping—the house was peaceful. I took a last look at my girls sleeping.: I went to bed myself. That night as I was sleeping a voice came to me.
This was a voice in my ear not in my head…It said nothing but I hear you It was the sound of rushing waters in a voice. I never understood until I read the Bible about the voice of rushing waters. When I did read this it made me smile. The girls do not have to see Him, the girls are happy. God took care of this. But later in my life, I came to God again in times of troubled hardship.
I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. I want to hear you. That night while I was sleeping a sweet smell— such a sweet smell came in my room. The next day I found myself looking for this smell.. Later I got married to a wonderful man that loves the Lord. I started to hear God even more and I kept praying for more understanding guidance. I would get this feeling from within and I would pray about things that needed to be prayed about and things to come. Never did this make me feel bad. I learned to pray when I would learn to pray when I would learn to pray when I would get these feelings.
I guess the cares of the world got me. I started not to hear God. I wanted to be back where I was at with our Lord. Later my Mother got sick with mersa. I prayed, I read the bible, believing God would heal. I miss my mother also. Jerry L Martin April 27, Reply. Dear Shelly, you did not fail.
I know we sometimes imagine that, if we just pray hard enough, God will surely come through. People are born, and people die. That is the way of things. The cherished assurance you received that night was not for one moment or one day or one week; it was for you to remember for the rest of your life and sing thanks. Shelly May 2, Reply. Bucky Whaley April 23, Reply. I can see His back. He keeps it turned to me. Just pray anyway, and tell God exactly how you feel.
You can even shout and stamp!
Remember also that sometimes, when people think that God is unavailable, they are the ones who are blocking the connection. Or it is there, but they are missing signals that may be faint and difficult to recognize. May God respond to your distress! Patricia Wright March 11, Reply.
One day I was driving my car and was at a stop sign. The highway was in front of me. A truck hauling rock not a pickup had its signal on to turn on the road I was on.