You Better Not Cry

You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

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In the former, Burroughs Running with Scissors remembers a long-ago Christmas spent with a former lover dying of AIDS and in the latter, which takes place a decade later, he describes dealing not only with a burst water pipe but also feeling ready to celebrate the season with a tree for the first time since the death of his old boyfriend. He is also the author of the novel Sellevision , which is currently in development for film.

Augusten's writing has appeared in numerous magazines and newspapers around the world including The New York Times and New York Magazine. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.

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Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. For Young and Old Alike. A Wolf at the Table: A Memoir of My Father. From Publishers Weekly Burroughs's holiday-themed memoir lacks the consistent emotional intensity of his earlier work, despite a few gems. Start reading You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don't have a Kindle? Try the Kindle edition and experience these great reading features: Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention better not cry augusten burroughs running with scissors david sedaris magical thinking wolf at the table french santa sense of humor eating the face highly recommend dry and magical bottom line homosexual relationships gingerbread house laugh out loud looking forward adult life huge fan laughing so hard best and only everything.

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Christmas Song - Santa Claus Is Coming to Town Lyrics

I wanted a book with some stories set at Christmastime, not for religious reading but for humorous reading. Having read Augusten Burroughts's "Dry" and "Running with Scissors," I had a pretty good idea of the kind of humor I would get--dry, witty, ironical, maybe sometimes cynical. I read it early in the holiday season, about 2 weeks after Thanksgiving. I also have David Sedaris's "Holidays on Ice," which I'm saving to read the week before Christmas--or I should say "reread," as I've read it nearly every year since it came out and loved it just as much each time as I did the first time I heard him read part of one of his narratives on NPR.

He exaggerates just to be noticed. He enumerates the guys — by mentioning their profession or even names! However, those are in the second half of the book. The Christmases when Burroughs was already a young promiscuous gay man. The first half includes the Christmases when he was a young gay boy and his experiences and innocence were adorable. He thought, for example, that Santa Claus and Jesus were one and the same and when he saw Jesus nailed on the cross, he thought that Santa Claus made a mistake in giving gifts and one father nailed him up there.

You Better Not Cry

Not sure if this is possible since Jesus is slim and trim while Santa Claus is fat and bearded. But then again, Burroughs is fond of exaggeration to get his message across or to elicit laughters. Some people call this poetic license and fiction writers have this in their arsenal of writing tools. Overall, not a totally bad book to read for Christmas season.

There are funny parts. There are disgusting parts. Not for anyone whose squeamish about gay sex. So, my reading of this book, including this review, is still on time.

View all 3 comments. Apr 28, Rebecca McNutt rated it did not like it Shelves: Was this supposed to be funny?

Oh my god, that's just sad. This is one case where you should most definitely judge the book by its cover; nevermind the fact that Augusten Burroughs is notorious for possibly publishing malicious lies about his guardian family in the memoir Running With Scissors , but not only is this next book of his incredibly hard to believe ever truly happened, but its "humor" really crosses the line from being dark humor to nasty, crass and disgusting. Sep 16, Shannon rated it it was ok Shelves: I give 3 stars to the first few stories and 1 star to the last few for an average of 2 stars.

The first couple of stories tell about Burroughs's childhood memories of past Christmases. Two stories are about how he used to confuse Santa with Jesus and also when he bit the wax face off of a life-size Santa Claus and I was actually laughing out loud while reading them. They were funny and easier to relate to than the stories he recounted of his adulthood.

Burroughs's childhood stories are lighter t I give 3 stars to the first few stories and 1 star to the last few for an average of 2 stars. Burroughs's childhood stories are lighter than the rest of the book but are still darkly humorous. The last half of the stories though are a somber solemn affair and not anything I likely would have read by themselves. I wouldn't have picked this book up if the childhood stories hadn't been included.

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I understand this is his life he's writing about, but when I think of Christmas I don't think of drinking until I black out, or wanting to spend the holiday alone, or doing the opposite and spending the holiday with a bunch of bums on the street, literally. The last half of the book is bleak and without much hope, and that's just not what I personally want to read about.

The transition from early childhood to adulthood could have been handled better as well. We go from one story where he's in elementary school to the next where he's a black-out drunk waking up next to a naked geriatric French Santa Claus. After doing a bit of research on the author it's probably safe to say that he didn't have too many fond memories of childhood Christmases, but I would have liked to read more of them because those were the ones I enjoyed the most. Toward the end Burroughs flies off into the land of melodrama and it starts to become hard to take him seriously, especially the story when his newly built house floods unexpectedly.

I backed out of the kitchen and turned around. Dennis was at the bottom of the stairs, heaving, unable to catch his breath, as his eyes surveyed the room. He brought both of his hands to his mouth, his fingers touching the bottom lip. Now it's true, it was his boyfriend that had this reaction but I really think Burroughs over exaggerates things.

My parents' basement flooded twice when I was in my teens, and my room was down there. One of the times it got so high it reached the bottom of my mattress. So, yeah, it sucks, but nobody died. It honestly felt like the destruction of the one floor of the house held more emotion than the death of his loved one. It's hard for me to connect with the Christmas stories of Burroughs's adult life when he acts so unrealistically. I had been eager to read more of Burroughs's writing after reading the first pages or so of this one, but after finishing it up I'm not so sure anymore.

Some people like to read darker stories while others only want fluffy happy times. I want something kind of in the middle. I also have a hard time understanding the mind of an addict, it's just not something that makes sense to me, and so it was hard for me to connect on a personal level to the bulk of Burroughs's stories.

I don't necessarily regret reading this book, but I'll keep the stories I read first more in the forefront because they honestly did make me laugh. I have never read any Augusten Burroughs, but this is the 3rd one I've listened to. Running with Scissors and Dry are two of my favorite audiobooks ever. I also have a touch of OCD, and I can never ever ever ever ever not finish a book. I was getting ready to go on a long drive, and listening to this was going to dr I have never read any Augusten Burroughs, but this is the 3rd one I've listened to. I was getting ready to go on a long drive, and listening to this was going to drive me insane.

Burroughs read soooooooooooo slllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy that you just wanted to scream.

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The first 2 stories took place in his childhood, and were not funny, and grasping so hard to be Santaland Diaries and reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddd in that sllllllloooooooooooowwwwwwwwww voice that I thought - "Did he ALWAYS sound like this? What could have been wrong with me when I liked it before?

Then the 3rd story, about his one night stand with a drunk old French Santa, was a bit more like the Burroughs I remembered. The slow reading stopped, maybe he was trying to sound childlike? The fourth story, about his Christmas spent with a homeless opera singer was more of the same, But the 5th story. Oh the 5th story. At first, I can't figure out how it related to Christmas, but when it did, it had a jaw dropping twist that is what I love in literature. And now, when I was thisclose to being able to break my OCD habit of needing to finish everything, said habit has been rewarded, because I loved story 5 so much I just wanted to start over and hear it again.

Dec 27, Megan Anderson rated it really liked it Shelves: I'd give this five stars, except I'm not so sure about some of the stories. The first few are downright hysterical--I was crying as he described the gingerbread house. However, the later stories of grown-up Christmases are a little more introspective.

Not that they're bad, necessarily, but it's like the movie Moulin Rouge , in that everything starts off funny and by the end you're feeling sort of depressed. I've liked the way Burroughs writes since I first read his books in college, and I especia I'd give this five stars, except I'm not so sure about some of the stories. I've liked the way Burroughs writes since I first read his books in college, and I especially like his understated sense of humor. I also understand that the subject matter of some of the stories doesn't lend itself to being funny the second-to-last story in particular.

But even the more thoughtful of the stories are still funny in their own ways. His descriptions are poetic and beautiful and spot-on, regardless of the subject matter. Maybe it's just like Christmas itself, for me as an adult: But read this book! It's just left me moody and introspective now, too, which isn't a bad thing! Jan 03, Topher Hooperton rated it really liked it.

Now, with You Better Not Cry, he brings us a festive series of recollections about the disastrous Christmases he has experienced. The early stories tread familiar ground, drawing us back to the young Augusten and his fractious relationship with his mentally unstable mother, taciturn brother, and angry, alcoholic father, and the litany of failures and mishaps to Augusten Burroughs has carved a literary career from exposing his troubled family life in Running With Scissors and A Wolf At The Table.

The early stories tread familiar ground, drawing us back to the young Augusten and his fractious relationship with his mentally unstable mother, taciturn brother, and angry, alcoholic father, and the litany of failures and mishaps to put it lightly that swirl about them. We find him inexplicably eating the face off a giant Santa Claus, failing spectacularly to craft a seasonally charming gingerbread house it looks more like a tenement slum , and executing a diabolical plan to get the presents he wants from his warring parents.

These stories, like his previous memoirs, are witty and often surprising, but they don't really offer any further insights into the narrative arc that Burroughs has constructed from the pieces of his life. They feel rather more like watching deleted scenes on a DVD: Much more interesting, however, are the later pieces, which leap forward into Burrough's adult life. Gone are the bewildered accounts of his childhood experiences, as seen through a veil of youthful confusion about the world.

Instead, the adult stories bring the encroaching darkness of his later life into sharp focus. The pieces are still characterised by Burrough's biting wit, covering subjects like his waking up naked next to Santa Claus, hung-over and trying to piece together the night before. But the pandemonium that his early life has left in its wake is tangible. One of the finest stories, Why Do You Reward Me Thus, tells of a drunken three day yuletide period that he spent with some 'bums' outside his apartment.

It features an exquisitely sad passage where a homeless woman sings an aria to him, as the snow starts to fall on Christmas Eve, and he gets a glimpse of how easily his alcoholism could dismantle his life. Another of the book's highlights, The Best and Only Everything, recounts the dazzling experience of falling deeply in love, and the subsequent horror of his boyfriend's HIV diagnosis, and the sad, tectonic shift in their relationship.

I had approached the book with some degree of trepidation, fearing that it might be akin to a generic Christmas album released by an otherwise well-respected band: Thankfully, that's not the case. Although it may lack the cohesion of his other work, there are passages that surpass his previous writing, peppered with surprising poetic flourishes.

Burroughs is as funny as he's ever been, but he has also compiled a contemplative book about the intangible essence of Christmas, both its sheer joy and its sadness. As we flick through the fragments of his life, there's a real sense of the fragile line that separates any semblance of order around him with complete chaos, and the mire from which he has pulled himself.

Dec 21, Denise rated it it was amazing. This is my favorite Augusten Burroughs book yet! I was a little skeptical at first. The book starts with some of his darkest stories from his childhood and early days as an alcoholic. They are fascinating in the way a train wreck is, you just can't bring yourself to look away.

Slowly, as you work your way through the book, the stories begin to change as Augusten's idea of Christmas evolves. There is the Christmas a group of homeless people take him in, look after him, and teach him to accept hel This is my favorite Augusten Burroughs book yet! There is the Christmas a group of homeless people take him in, look after him, and teach him to accept help from others. The book ends with two truly heartwarming stories about taking care of an HIV positive boyfriend and dealing with a flood.

Make no mistake, the hilarious, sarcastic humor is still there, but added is a real love for himself and the people around him. There was more depth of feeling and true emotion in some of these stories than I've ever seen in Augusten's other books. You Better Not Cry is the perfect holiday collection - you will definitely laugh, you might even shed a tear or two, and you'll end feeling strangely better about Christmas and what it means. Dec 14, Petra rated it liked it. This book is a collection of stories of Augusten's Christmases over the years, starting at childhood and ending at the time of writing the book.

The stories of the younger Augusten were sweet and funny. They told of childhood wonder, of mixed up beliefs that kids sometimes get and general childhood. Augusten was a precocious and difficult child but one that saw the world in a different and interesting way. It would have been both a difficult and exciting thing to watch this kid go through life. In adulthood, Augusten has some low Christmases.

The story of his time on the streets was heartwarming, really. That was a nice Christmas story. The last couple of stories are after the hard times. Augusten has found his peace and is happy. These stories are lovely, knowing that he's found his way but they were also the slowest paced. All in all, I enjoyed these and they revolved around Christmas. I preferred the stories of his childhood.

You Better Not Cry - Wikipedia

Bittersweet memories for Burroughs. Consider transferring direct quotations to Wikiquote. The New York Times. Stories for Christmas by Augusten Burroughs, Author. Retrieved August 9, The works of Augusten Burroughs. Retrieved from " https: Wikipedia articles with style issues from August All articles with style issues Pages to import images to Wikidata All stub articles. Views Read Edit View history.

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