I Just Dont Like This Kind of Livin

45 Ways To Live Life To The Fullest

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I was going to own my time — and fill it. I looked forward to the silence of solitude, the chance to concentrate instead of entertain. Well, six months later, it turns out that visions and reality are not the same thing. The macrame is still in a ball by the window, most nights I need melatonin to fall asleep no matter how much I read, and the drinks rarely stop at one. The reality is much more lonely, and much less graceful. Do I really need to reorganize my closet? And the quiet I thought I would love?

I get home from work and jump on the phone. I log on to Skype. I turn on the TV or the radio or a podcast immediately. Recently, I tried to hang a painting and dropped a hammer on my toe. No one has borrowed my sweater without telling me, or wondered why I got home so late, but no one is there to say Hi!

Why did I think living alone would be some kind of romantic ideal? Why did I think I needed my bookshelf to be alphabetized when it takes me six months to get through a novel? As it turns out, that perfect version is further away than ever. People who suffer from too little money mostly insist in staying where they are, which in a lot of cases is in a big city where the rent shoots through the roof.

Prairie Home Companion, indeed… My head is never like a sponge full of mud. Hardly ever, at least. The grey skies are beautiful in a subtle way. Whatever… I came here from Malaysia — days of sun — and if I can wait for the bus without having a fit of angst, so can everybody else.

Just because you do not like the system or find the people not like you were used to back in England, that does not entitle you to shit a lot of crap on and in the country that harbours you.

As someone else stated, move then. It is a free world. The culture is simply to far away. Danes are homogenic, anglicans are the opposite, Denmark is left wing, Anglican societies are usually not, Scandinavia is among the most equal countries in the world, The level of education in Scandinavia are very high, the level in the Anglican countries are not.

But, just because it is different, does not necessarily make it wrong and just because it does not fit into your perception of the world does not make Danes the scum of the earth or Denmark the last station before hell. But of course not all Danes are like this — these few are just virulent cyber-bullies. Is that view so hard to consider? I really can not see the point, that if you are in a life situation, that you find is simpy not good for you. Then why not change it?

It is really obvious that you do not like living in Denmark for various obscure reasons, so why not just leave? I can see you before praised the UK, so why not change your life situation, go from one thing you do not like, to something you like. It is simply a matter of being logic. And yes you ARE a racist, because you express yourself about Danes in a way that is racist. Yes you are a bigot, narrowminded, selfish and…. You even can not remember what you wrote yourselfish, even though it is all listed above. Read it again if you want. Feel free to criticize as much as you like and certainly Scandinavia is not utopia.

But it is for the vast majority of the populations a great place to stay and be in. When you get it that wrong, people react. Is that so hard to understand? Debates are great, but it has to be on a sober, intellectual basis. On that and some other really insignificant examples, she judges and entire population, culture and country. If you have lived just a tiny little bit and have a tiny little understanding of Danish culture, you would know why. It is different yes, but is it then wrong? You and her, thinks that. Better than the UK, yes certainly. Health care is about the same quality but more expensive in Denmark.

Pros and cons exist. Sure, I can leave if and when I really dislike it enough here. But I know refugees who experience Denmark as unfriendly and racist yet obviously cannot leave it. One blogger above suggested that Danish pride based on deep collective fears about its historical shrinkage explains fierce reactions like yours, and the kinds of abusive denial aimed against Booth.

That may or may not have some truth in it. You are being a demagogue.

You even get a grant. Healthcare in England are…I mean you can not even compare it to Scandinavia. It is really really bad. You pay some more on your medicine in Scandinavia, but the difference is actually very Little when you calculate it into your life expected income. You also misunderstand pride with fear sorry you did not got me there simply because it is too silly.

Maybe you mean inferior complex, well we leave that to the World Champions: It is a valuable input to an interesting discussion. I am also Danish and living in Denmark. My wife is a doctor. We have two kids 5 and 7. I have experienced living for about 1,5 year in Japan which is a very different culture. Hence, if you live in a suburban area like I do in Denmark, you rarely even talk to your neighbours from September to mid April. There might be more of a social culture in larger cities but only if you are formally part of some groups or institutions.

At least this is my experience having lived in both Aarhus, Vejle, Viborg area, Horsens area and Copenhagen. It is very very hard to penetrate existing social groups even as a Dane. As a foreigner people tend just not be bothered with socialising with somebody likely to move away again soon. And generally it is always difficult to interact if you have different socio-cultural backgrounds. The best way to short cut this problem of socialising is probably to get drunk with a Dane. In Denmark you are your job until you actually get to know somebody really well but that can take a long long long time.

But there are lot of good things about this. Surely people enjoying indoor sports will love Denmark. Its a mecca for such things. If you are a programmer you will probably like it too. I would argue Copenhagen is almost like a city state within the rest of the country. Keep that in mind when you analyse the country. Yes you pay a lot in tax — but hey so does your neighbour so he cannot get ahead either. It is not immediately obvious that somebody are getting special deals from the system. Some just rise to the top of the pyramid no matter how you design a human social system.

If you have kids as I do — you will appreciate this a lot. Denmark has considerable wealth from oil and gas exploration — hence it pays a lot of the welfare bills at the moment. Its generally a social club with a nice fat endowment you joined. Why would you wanna leave it? None of the critical infrastructure was destroyed by wars since modern industrialisation begun due to a very neutral and cunning foreign policy.

Now… would you find this an interesting culture and country to visit. Yes I think so. Can you make a lot of money? Will your children enjoy life in Denmark? Yes I think it is surely the case since they will socialise through the school once they get a hang of the language. It is depressing in many many subtle ways. They cannot accumulate wealth easily and a forced to take jobs with the incumbent players.

In Denmark you settle for security and boredom because the rich are just really really smart here. Hell you might even not work much and still get some of the spoils but most people do have some measure of greed in them and want at least to obtain middle class status. Wow, people express their experiences in Denmark and all the Danes in here keep telling them to leave?! What is the point then? Then go to Iowa, Milton Keynes or where ever you think you will get a better life.

I lived in Denmark for the better part of 7 years, and am American. Jeg taler dansk, har to born da taler dansk, and just short of 7 years after our arrival, my Danish wife and I decided that Denmark was no longer the right place to raise our children. Having said those things, living in Denmark did teach me many valuable lessons.

I understand and respect the systemic thinking, admire the focus on family well-being and understand why Danish people like their system. It works for them. One of the greatest lessons I learned, however, was how it felt to be treated as a minority…. From bus drivers to waiters in restaurants…. I paid an exorbitant amount of tax to help fund those programs, so they are not free by any stretch, and the quality of and access to leave a lot to be desired. The healthcare system is archaic, and the education system needs a bit of an overhaul to emphasize more on academics in the earlier years IMHO.

Now, I am living in arguably the most liberal and forward thinking city in the country, but the massive diversity, and the positive nature of the populous are the exact environment that my wife and I want to raise our children in. After seeing how other cultures live and thrive amongst one another, these Danes are sad that they have to take their children back to such a closed off, dark society. They are trying to figure out how to stay. I do look forward to visiting Denmark again, seeing old friends, having a beer at Nyhavn, maybe a bacon hot dog from a polsevogn, perhaps going on a canal boat tour ; reminding myself of the things that I actually enjoy about Denmark.

I also look forward to the inevitability of being treated poorly by a Dane, seeing stoic, robotic Copenhageners bump into one another as they b-line it down Stroget, listen to the sad tales from friends and relatives of another horrible summer that has passed them by, and be reminded of the things that make living there so soulless.

For all of those people in this forum who were in my shoes, who have had multiple Danes tell them to just leave if you hate it so much, my advice to you all is to do so. I did, and it has been the most liberating experience of my life. Peter Stephenson, great post, thanks, sounds like you made a very good decision. Hard to quit the Cult of the Dano-Stepford Teat! I have lived in Denmark for about 6 years now and I am Canadian, but have lived in the U.

It seems like a bunch of really bitter persons. For me, Denmark has been an absolutely lovely place to live in. It is not perfect — but where is that? If you have been around as I have, it is surely one of the greatest places on earth. I have met incredibly bright, positive, liberal persons, have dealt with a very generous system where things actually work not like in England and the U. It seems like the Danish-bashers here, have not really put their background behind them, look with nostalgic eyes to their homeland and have not really lived in Denmark, but lived in a bubble. I have been in a couple of the expat societies here and there are some ten percent that simply can not cope with the Danish culture and society.

That has not really anything to do with the Danish society and culture, but with themselves not being able to adjust to the Danish lifestyle and truly expect that everything is like America, Manchester or where they come from. It seems like, they can not see further form themselves. Some also expect, that they do not have to do an effort or make some commitment or very little. They are the ones that fails and would fail anywhere else in the World. I like that people chip in, in a huge pot, that then is split up and goes to the society and can see that if you do not apply to this and you have your eyes stiff put on your tax bill, I can see it becomes difficult for you.

My kids got a much better education, than I could have got anywhere else, without for me actually paying for it. I have access to a much better healthcare system than I have seen and experienced my self and for a price that is very low when you look on what it actually cost to run it. I have a job in a place that has such a high standard, that I have not ever even heard or experienced it elsewhere.

And by implication are illiberal and not bright? I am French-Canadian and may I add your English is not very good either.

I wrote it super fast and you can tell you really concentrate yourself on the language you are using. What is your excuse? You put the shield up in front of you and declare fairness. It is not of the sort. You are highly bitter and biased and even has to mock Canada as well. You do not seem like a very pleasant person to be frank and you list a lot of things here that are not true or twisted into your very own twisted hatred of Denmark. If you just spent half your energy, that you uses here and put that in getting your self integrated, you would probably stop being so angry.

I have my perception on things, you are certainly entitled to have yours. That does not make yours in any way the truth or any better. I have had great years and still do in Denmark, so has my family and as I stated, I have by far only met people that are really happy in Denmark, foreign or not — and I really understand them. Perhaps you can point out a single error? Otherwise my PhD was plain wasted and my publishers were lazy. You do not have a PhD.

So stop pretending and start listening to people that are less bitter and use your time on other things than searching the internet to confirm your twisted hatred beliefs. By the way, I love Montreal and Toronto, far livelier and more multicultural than anything in Denmark. And Copenhagen and the rest of Denmark is by far more multicultural and livelier than Montreal, Toronto, Edmonton and pretty much any place in Canada and huge parts of the United States and the same goes with the United Kingdom.

It is your own prejudice and hatred talking, that clouds your perception of the world. Denmark more multicultural than the UK?! Now you really are sadly misinformed. Toronto has much more active multicultural-friendly policies than Denmark. And internet addiction, which both of us are currently suffering from. And locking horns, which we poor men seem to do so often. I expected so much more. You still do not have one and yes they are quite expensive.

Not free for everyone to get a degree like here. Being multicultural, is not the same as the number of nationalities living within a country. You do know that? Toronto is almost racist compared to Denmark, so do not know what you are talking about. Go to Toronto and pretend you are just slightly French and you will see…. Very nice you inform me of Phenomenology, since I wrote a book about it.

There are some more elements to it though. I think someone else wrote here, that Denmark is not for everyone. Maybe you expected a fanfare of happiness and joy? And some smooth adaptation to Danish Culture which probably is the most homogenic in the world. Then getting to be disappointed, then reluctance, then bitterness and then hatred.

Seems to me that way. That things actually work, that there is not so far from bottom to the top, that its a safe country, that social mobility is very high, that Danes are in general bright and well educated, the great summers, the general standard of living? I respect your right to your opinions regarding Denmark, but you come across pretty ridiculously in these posts. No place is perfect, naturally, but this constant nationalistic chest pounding is almost embarrassing at this point. Your posts in particular absolutely highlight the attitude that I have thankfully removed my family from.

From one American to another, you must concede that your experience is not usual. I read that your children attend public schools, in the most liberal progressive city in the country… Where are we? Airy Philadelphia — my neighborhood! Your situation is hardly indicative of an average situation in our country. I think that you are comparing apples and oranges…. There is racism here in Denmark. I was born in Denmark, but my parents come from Africa.

I have met many racist here in Copenhagen. I had to change schools 4 times, because I was bullied by the color of my skin. All the danish kids hang out with each other and the kids who are from different cultures or have different skin color hang by themselves. I am the only black girl in my class, but the rest of the class is full of kids who either come from Turkey or Pakistan or somewhere in the middle east.

The fact is I was born in Denmark! I speak perfectly danish. This is the place I should call home. I have experienced some much racism that I now have anxiety and depression. I now think that Denmark is a toxic place. If danish people are trying to deny this! The are being ignorant! Try walking in a person of colors shoes in Denmark, then you will get it! There is some racism everywhere, yet it is really nothing compared to what you see in the United Kingdom, France or in the US especially in the South.

You have to differ by the way, the difference from being bullyed and there some racist comes in, and then real racism. That some 5th grader called you something racist, does not actually mean that person is a racist. What you refer to are inconsidered, inmature teenage idiots. And they are everywhere. Also, remember tolerance comes both ways and are not a one-sided affair and I am a bit puzled you bring Jane Elliott into this, since I do not think you really know WHO she really is and stands for.

Janus how DARE you tell her that she is obsessed with being a victim? She has had to relocate four times. And what she has gone through would not happen, even in the south in the U. S because there are large populations of Black people there. If it happened, the culprits would be punished. In the UK and France you can even be sued. Mariam I hope you get to leave that shit hole one day. Leave them to their own ignorance if you can. Well, how dare you writing something based on… nothing. You have not even bothered reading what I actually wrote, but put together a serious of already fixed opinions in your head.

I can assure you there is a lot more racism in the US and France and you should really have a look on your hatred. Janus, everyone read what you wrote. You see,- from my point of view you are a victim of your parents decision long time argo and now you have 2 possibilities,- neither to be angry on your parents or proud of yourself. Raise your head, finnish your school, study the reason why your parents went to Denmark and if possible go back to yours and your parents country and fight for your rights to stay there. Luck at what the Israelis are doing to day.

They went all over the world as refugees for years before they understood that they actually have to help them self. In we finally got rid of the german troops invading Denmark. Before that we also lost a war against the same country in l, not to mention admiral Nelson who stole our fleet,- but he left again and now we are left on a little peninsular at the north west corner of the european continent, fighting for another, sneaking invasion of other foreigners.

All because of bad leadership from our governments leak of competence and pride. But on top of that,- I do agree whit Shakespire. There is still something rotten in the state of Denmark. Among other the leak of pride. Read the HC Anderson tale of the ugly duckling…. I think I understand what Karl is saying to Mariam but I disagree with part of what he says.

Denmark like the UK and many other European countries was once outgoing, domineering and powerful but those days are long gone. We now see more worldwide migration than ever and it is unstoppable. Formerly vigorous nations like Denmark, UK, etc. I suspect a lot of the Danish lifestyle, high taxes and extensive welfare, and exaggerated self-promotion today is a reaction to these historical factors.

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But while Denmark tries to stress integration of immigrants, the UK as a much bigger and less governable place cannot do that, and instead has a vast, complex network of cultures, ghettos and so on. Both countries have racism but of different kinds. Mariam is more visible in Denmark but would blend in better in various parts of the UK. In the long run I suspect Denmark will have to change dramatically and become unrecognisable to its citizens of today, probably losing its own language for example.

The UK too will change dramatically, becoming ever more heavily populated and perhaps broken up by ethnic, economic and cultural divisions. Many of us will be dead by then; perhaps Mariam will live to see such changes. In the meantime we all have to make our own, fallible individual judgements, compromises and choices.

Happy to see that psychinsider february By now her situation only shows the way of how to end up, having a very troublesome time the rest of her life. Though,- they also do live in a country where all know the story about how 7 skinny cows did eat 7 fat cows and the skinny cows still kept on being skinny, but Is that the country anyone would like to live in and end up whit?

There actually is a singing in DK about that. Of course the things mentioned here exist in every country in the world to some degree; and it really is degrees that we all are arguing here. I can only add my own opinion. I am a Dane who had been fortunate enough to work at a Danish multi-national company A. My thoughts are gathered from having lived and worked with many ex-patriots from all over the world in Denmark, and have also been an ex-patriot myself in these many places I have listed.

I think if you are an American, Canadian or from the UK, and you grow up in a small, regional city with a semi-homogenous population, you will enjoy Denmark very much. But if you come from a large, diverse and cosmopolitan city like New York, Miami, or London…you may very well hate it in Denmark for many of the reasons listed. The ways of life and philosophies on life are just very different. We Danes are perceived by outsiders as a closed culture where people keep to themselves.

The immigrants who stay in Denmark are often the ones who come from countries where the political situation is unstable or where they can not get good jobs in their home countries. The first opportunity they have to move to a place like the UK, Netherlands or US, they take it with no love lost for Denmark. This is true even in cases where the person has been living in Denmark for over 10 years, speaking Danish and having children who have grown up in Denmark.

I speak here of a Peruvian friend of mine who, after a decade, still feels on the outside of the Danish mainstream and wants to leave. This is a real problem and something you just do not see with immigrants where I live in New York. We are made to feel that we are just as American as the people who have lived here for generations. If anyone were to suggest otherwise, they would be called-out for it.

Try to ask the Pakistani guy who has lived in Copenhagen for 25 years if the same could be said in Denmark. I still have family in Jutland, so I visit often, and until recently have always thought I would eventually move back someday. Out of the tons of commuters passing by, no one stopped or seem to think it was odd. After 2 days of seeing it there, and commuters just pushing past each other and accepting this as life in Copenhagen, I reported it to DSB management, who were unaware of it. At the same time I realized that I had taken note, and taken action.

The fact that someone wrote the graffiti there was not what upset me this could happen anywhere ; it was the fact that no one seemed bothered by it…. This is an interesting discussion about Denmark and I welcome it. However, I have several US citizens visiting me in Denmark and they never observed racism the way it has been expressed on this blog. I like that danish are honest. The real problem for at Dane on this page, is that we admit to the problems that Denmark has, then it will automatically be construed as an agreement to all the negative things about Denmark that have been posted on this page.

Yes, Denmark does have a problem with racism. But please leave your own socio-culturally conditioned meaning of the word behind, and focus on the actual problem. Danes do not hate people of other ethnicities, sexual orientations, religions, etc. They are an insular people, and mostly racism is lack of exposure to other ways of doing things. My in-laws believe that the only right way to eat an avocado is with lavish servings of shrimp on rye bread. When they were first introduced to an avocado with soy sauce, they stared at it. After much heckling on my part, they tried it.

It took them 3 separate attempts and they ended up liking it, even though it was so vastly different from what they were used to no soy sauce. Not because they inherently think that person is bad or worse. And yes, we do pay high taxes. And yes, a person will probably only ever tap into the full benefits of that system if born, raised and educated in the country.

This is what being a socialist country is about. We all pay through the nose to the common fund Skat and reap benefits when needed. I have gone through most of my life being a minimal burden on the healtcare system except for the occasional prescription of penicillin for a tick bite. But I still pay my taces knowing that some other person who does need medical help will get that. I get education and healthcare. I will readily admit that there is room for quality improvement in healthcare! How am I deluded? Yes, people shop in Germany and get their teeth done. Some do it because that is what they need to do to feed their families.

I Just Don't Like This Kind Of Livin

A large portion do it because they want to minimise their food expenses in order to prioritise having a flat screen tv or going on holiday. I want to have more fun money, so I do what I can. Blame the dentists, not the tax slip. At the beginning of each month, I buy books first and food second. No reason to throw money at a chef, when I can cook most dishes myself. Maybe as an expat, you are used to prioritising differently, and well yes, then this is very different and maybe a part of living and socialising that you miss.

As I see this blog and the really bitter comments on it, the problem is going to another country with the premise that the home country is best. American hospitality social system is the best, or the tax system is the best, etc. In that case, any deviation from the norm is considered an example of how Denmark is worse. People get born, live, have problems and then die. This is true for all countries. It is not unique to Denmark nor does it mean that Denmark is horrible.

Danes are the happies nation on earth. When we then meet high-hoping, hardworking bragging, proud Americans to mention an example , we falter.

What funny business is this? This is where some Danes and some people on this blog are completely alike although nationalities differ. There are some really good sides to Denmark, Danes and Danish culture and society. There are some really bad sides, too, and a host of nuances in between. Same goes for every single other country a person could move to. If you hate the Danish way of doing things, fair enough.

Then Denmark is not for you. But please let go of that ridiculous bitterness about it. Living in any country is an acquired taste. You either end up liking or disliking it. Oh, and please excuse the typos. I can barely see my computer screen. I completly agree with you. I have been livin in Copenhagen for 8 years now and I hate it for so many reason I can make a list.. I have also lived legally in USA for 4 years before i got married and I also had it a lot better even tough I missed family sometimes.

All the comments from people that are unhappy in dk are true, but most danish think they own the absolut true and the rest of the world is true. You can check in but you can never leave.. Unless you want to leave your kids.. I salute psychinsider for his elegant communication skills and fine presentation.

Thomas has excellent command of English but his nationalistic views prevents him looking deep. You have to be an immigrant and live in Denmark to comprehend what is like to be discriminated. I have postgraduate education from UK and returned to Denmark to seek employment but had to deal with problems such as my name not being Ole and my dark hair. Most Danes are honest. But their upfront approach to people makes them appear rude. May I recommend a social skills course integrated in their elementary school systems.

This is not personal just a statement of principle.

Later moved back to live with my danish family. Reading through the entire page I see it filled with unhappy people who need to shut down their computer and find every opportunity to go socialize holy christ.

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The things I will say are controversial yet typical. So here is some key negative things about danes:. Any type of superficial ugliness is frowned upon, and you will be expected to look your best in clothing that is generally very expensive. Here there exist a social ladder where everyone has a place. So referring to that colored dude with a Phd, posted above — he is expected to look and act like one, say with a Hugo Boss suit driving an Audi. People here live like tribes, so you need to belong to a decent one.

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People are very homo-social — that is they prefer social company with their own sex. Gender roles are strongly enforced, men must be dominant, women submissive. A key part of being danish is to be able to make fun of yourself and others. Because part of the culture is to chatter later on behind your back. Typically such a discussion is never mensioned to you and you are left to discover your weaknesses on your own.

Just ignore them or confront them your choice. The reason why they do it is because of high number of crimes happening in neighborhoods of colored people. People live in segregated communities divided by wealth. They see a causal relation here. However, you must learn the language if you are planning on staying here, because that is looked down upon even if you are white. Also, a relationship here is so unattractive to me, because of the cultural stuff. I just feel I cannot trust or rely on anyone. Encounters on a train in Denmark … timesresonant. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

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The problem with visiting Denmark in May is that it makes you think you regret leaving. The Drinking On Friday night, on my way home from dinner, 9 pm, 10 tops, I biked past three different groups of people carrying someone too drunk to walk. Which brings me to… The Social Culture One of the things I was looking forward to about my little trip was visiting all my old haunts, places I used to drink coffee or smoke shisha or—OK, those are basically the only things I ever did when I lived here.

June 6, at 8: June 6, at 9: June 6, at June 13, at 5: January 6, at 5: January 9, at 4: January 13, at 2: January 14, at 1: Thank you for leaving and returning to the US. January 14, at 2: January 23, at 2: February 23, at 1: June 20, at 7: June 7, at I was missing you. Sounds like the Tea Party would be right comfy there. June 7, at 2: June 7, at 7:

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