Keeping Score ~ A Guide to Love and Relationships

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Oct 08, Ashley rated it really liked it Shelves: When I first sat down to read "Keeping Score" by Marc Brackett I didn't realize how much contemplation and consideration was going to be involved. It was quite deceiving. I expected to fly through this little book in a day or two, not the week it took. It was a great little journey and, with the help of personal quizzes, provides some great insights into relationships and marriage. This book actually works alongside Marc's website, www. When I first printed the worksheets and told my husband we were going to take a relationship quiz I received one of those, "I'm not taking another Cosmo quiz.

Our marriage is fine. When I told him it wasn't a magazine quiz but it was an in-depth quiz regarding our marriage he agreed. There are two very distinct quizzes; one for men and a separate one for women. Each quiz is divided into subcategories including Career, Finance, Intimacy, etc. The scores are then evaluated to prioritize the subcategories that are the most important to each partner and how the two of you can work together to strengthen your relationship. It was an enjoyable little book. Nov 01, Tiffany York rated it it was amazing.

The author writes, "There's no fairy tale about the princess who settles for the inn keeper's drunken son, or at least there's no happily ever after ending to such a story. This is not a book to be read in hindsight after all the damage is done and your relationship has fallen apart.

Ideally, this book should be read before getting married. Oftentimes, people are blinded by love, but the reality of marriage is so much more practical. The questions listed here are questions one should con The author writes, "There's no fairy tale about the princess who settles for the inn keeper's drunken son, or at least there's no happily ever after ending to such a story. The questions listed here are questions one should consider and often doesn't before taking the plunge.

I appreciated the author's blunt, straight-forward approach to issues, and I liked his use of well-known quotes. For me personally, I would have liked to see more story examples of real-life couples, either positive or negative, but that's just a personal preference. Oct 03, guiltlessreader rated it really liked it. This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Originally posted on my blog Guiltless Reading Relationships are complicated.

We get engrossed in the fine details of our relationships, and its various aspects -- in all its glory and gore. So-called commonsense can keep relationships going, but apparently this is in shortage especially when emotions are involved that this book was born.

This is "a relationship book even a man can understand" and it's written by a male author, so if you're female this is what you say to Originally posted on my blog Guiltless Reading Relationships are complicated. This is "a relationship book even a man can understand" and it's written by a male author, so if you're female this is what you say to your man if you want him to take the quiz. And if you're male, well, you're supposed to understand this. Yes, this is a fun read!

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But let me qualify that -- it's not a straightforward read so "reading" it is a little different. This slim book is divided into three parts: Part I is titled "Adam and Eve" and it branches out into two sets of quizzes, one if you're male and the other if you're female. You go through four sections for each gender, three of which are unique and the last section common for both partners. For Eve, this looks into a woman's thoughts on the ability of her partner to provide financially.

For Adam, it looks into a man's thoughts on the physical attributes of his partner. For Eve, this looks into the factors of how a woman feels loved by her partner. For Adam, it looks into areas of potential conflict with his partner, including financial, nurturing, and loyalty. Section 3 is a bonus question. For the women, it is about her partner's sense of humour; for the men, it is about oh no! Section 4 is about common interests and how other influences impact your relationship.

Some touchy areas it looks into are family including the in-laws, children and other family member through other marriages , religion, and shared activities. Part II is titled "Knowledge is Power" and provides insights on the quiz items. This is the meat of the book. Part III is titled "A Score to Win" and guides you into looking at your relationship score, analyzing it, and deciding how you can get the relationship you really want. A big part and a very substantial resource is the website - www. The book is merely a jumping board; the website the ocean. The format - it's small and you can pop this into your bag and do the quiz on the bus or during a break at work.

It is also extremely easy to read and understand.

There are tons of analogies so that various points get across crystal clear. For example Though I must express some resentment at woman being compared to a car! This isn't exactly a politically-correct book! A woman can have all the goods you like, but if the soul is a poor match you'll find the goods a whole lot less enjoyable. Think of it like a car. You can admire a Lamborghini, but would you like paying the insurance, worrying about scratching it [ Generally, I found the quizzes funny and I found myself snickering throughout the book.

Though sometimes I found some of the humour a bit tongue-in-cheek. What is the condition of your partner's tail end? How do your partner's "assets" compare with your preference in this area. Some like a tight end, others like some junk in the trunk. To each his own. How's the scenery from your viewpoint?

The caveat is that you need to be honest in your answers. I know I said I liked the format, but I have secondhand thoughts about the format of the quiz sheets. I was having some issues with the scoring and the flipping back and forth and I resisted the urge to just tear out the score sheet.

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Then I got the next part where there is getting the difference from the maximum score and I went uh-oh, why is this so complicated? Also, I kept thinking that the scoring and the explanations should be nearer the actual quiz. I also entered my score on the website and it was an answer to some of my gripes above. But this is a review of the book after all. While the quiz part of this translates better in an online format, what's the fun of reading online?

I recommend you read through the whole thing, then verify your scores by entering online where you also get the added benefit of comparing to average scores. I worry that this book caters to a only heterosexual relationships. If I were gay, which quiz should I take? What is you're in a same sex relationship - so both of you take the Eve quiz or the Adam quiz? Maybe I am overanalyzing this, but the question begs to be asked. What I found a little worriesome is that there are several assumptions for each gender that didn't quite sit too well with me.

The first part of the gender-based quizzes are based on very obvious gender stereotypes: The cultural lens through which this book came about is based in the dominant culture of North America. While the latter parts of the quizzes are quite open, I found myself wondering how different cultures, which place value different things, would read this and score. For example, Asian cultures value family way beyond what is mentioned here, extending to the value of a person with a community but this isn't reflected in the book and would probably be subsumed under another topic common interest?

Overall, I maybe overanalyzing. I think the best way to reap some good from this book is to take it at face value, have fun with it, and open up communication channels with your significant other. A fun way of assessing your relationship! A great tool for opening up conversations about the mundane and the things that matter in your relationship I was provided a review copy by the author in exchange for an honest opinion. I have also hosted a guest post "Taking the Long View" and held a giveaway on this blog.

Dec 17, Lubna rated it liked it. As the author points out in one of his blog posts, Over the past few decades, the common sense knowledge that men and women communicate differently has been proven time and again through numerous studies. Regrettably though, this knowledge hasn't improved our ability to communicate with one another- well, not enough anyway. Perhaps a serious reader of this book, needs to also visit the au As the author points out in one of his blog posts, Over the past few decades, the common sense knowledge that men and women communicate differently has been proven time and again through numerous studies.

Perhaps a serious reader of this book, needs to also visit the author's website and the frequent blog posts. The four components of Keeping Score are: This section comprises of relationship evaluation tests designed specifically for each gender. The reader has to answer the questions and fill in the score sheets provided at the end of the book.

One of the sections dealing with 'Common interests' is the same for both genders. Else the questions are gender specific. It seemed a bit stereotyped to me, but my friend claims it is true - women are held to a higher standard when it comes to their physical appearance. This section is a review of the factors creating the relationship score.

Each factor is explained in great detail with suggestions to improve your score and ultimately your relationship. A Score to Win: This is a guide on improving relationships by examining the strengths and weakness and analysing where there is scope for improvement.

I liked this section and my initial apprehension what the book is stereotyped began to fade away 4. Lastly one can hop across to the website, to share scores online and compare it with others I am doubtful on whether everyone would want to share their scores.

I agree that men and women communicate differently. That said, maximum points have been prescribed for your answers for parameters across various sections. You have to deduct the points applicable to your answer from the maximum points to arrive at the difference. The difference is graded and helps you ascertain the severity of your problem.

In the Indian context, since the family still does play a crucial part - you marry not another person, but you marry into a family - a higher weightage maximum points to questions in this realm would have suited the Indian reader. The book does not wrap you in a feel good cocoon, it brings forth some hard facts, on issues that are best dealt with upfront and honestly. The book can act as a guide and the author is wise enough to say - the score is just a starting point.

Focus first on modifying your own behaviour. Before your receive you must first give. If you have questions buzzing around in your head about your relationship, this book could help you get a clearer picture. You can find a more detailed review on my blog: Aug 02, Anjan Roy rated it really liked it Shelves: At a point in life we all feel life would have been much easier if we could get the luxury, a guide to move forward in life specially when dealing with relationships.

Whoever we may be, we all fall into the cavity of echelons and fight it out to keep hold of our relations and not be considered a failure. Starting From Education, Career, Financial stability, Destructive Habits, Work Ethics, Behavior, and Equality both financially and individually everything comes into account when you plan your future. Second half of the Book is devoted to all the action points and why Marc chose them to be a part of analyzing any relation, giving each and every point a reason for their presence in a relationship. As far as the weak links are concerned I would say quantifying human factors to numbers is innovative but exact representation of a particular aspect to its numeric coefficient is controversial and may change from person to person as well as cultures across the world.

The practicality of the theories to real life can only be gauzed when people across the world implement methodologies to their life. As far as the attempt to quantify human aspect to measure potential improvement in relationship is concerned full marks should be given to Marc for his effort. However, while I would recommend not sharing total score, I would definitely suggest using it yourself to see what areas you and your significant other might want to work on. The issues the book raises seem like they could be useful conversation starters, although the advice and description of the way different factors affect relationships is very common sense.

In the book, the author acknowledges that, but based on the e-mail I got I was hoping for a tiny bit of surprising research results.

Keeping Score ~ A Guide to Love and Relationships

I was even more disappointed with the website, which gives more information but is no more technical than the book — about as Cosmo style as the quiz, with more personal advice than scientific research. It was easy to read and the quizzes were explained clearly which made them fun to take. Because of the usability factor and the significant issues raised, I think this would make a great starting point for a couple who wanted to make things work but were struggling to identify what needed to change. This review first published on Doing Dewey. Dec 12, Jody rated it it was amazing.

About This Book It's a relationship book even a man will read. Take co About This Book It's a relationship book even a man will read. This book is set up in sections. This tiny book blew me away. It opened up a completely new way of looking at my marriage as well as how I look at my husband. I am going to be honest it was not all good but it was not all bad either.

I think this is a book for everyone, single and married to keep around and read frequently. I know I will.

I want to thank Marc Brackett for giving me the opportunity to read and review his book. It was an eye-opening journey through this little book, thank you Mark. About The Author Marc Brackett is a beautiful soul. Not only is he strikingly handsome and rugged, but he is also suave. His numerous skills and talents are legendary, with capabilities beyond description. When not busy restoring the ecological balance to his private tropical island paradise, Marc can be found teaching orphaned baby dolphins how to trust and swim again.

Alright, alright, the truth is Marc Brackett is just an average guy says his wife who loves his wife and children more than anything else. Seventeen years ago Marc Brackett made the most important decision of his life: Ever since, he has been working really hard to stay married and, with five daughters, he now worries about their relationships as well. This book was written to improve his own marriage and to guide his daughters to a successful marriage.

The book and blog are for anyone young, old, single, or married who wants to improve their relationship and increase the odds of its success. Apr 17, Anisha rated it really liked it Shelves: The author of book had sent me a copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased opinion. The author claims Keeping Score is a relationship book even a man will read.

I wouldn't doubt that. This book is a very straight forward book regarding relationships. The book is in the format of a questionnaire, which peaked my interest. Set up in sections, it has questions for both men and women.

Firs The author of book had sent me a copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased opinion. First comes the questions for Adam and Eve. The questions differ according to the gender. Going forward, the questions were divided into different subcategories which includes questions regarding career, money, faith, in laws, children etc. The book works side by side with the author's website, www. This is for an insight to the score you get after taking questionnaire in the book. These spouses are very aware of what their mates are doing and giving, of how hard their spouses are working to support the family, or how much they try to be good partners.

They are highly aware of times when their mates are working longer-than-normal hours or have had a harder-than-usual time with the kids. And as a result of this hyperawareness of how much their spouses are giving, they make small but powerful adjustments. They compensate by giving more—and they never think of it as generosity.

Happy spouses keep track of what their mates are giving and what they need as a result, and they deliberately try to give back. One friend calls it the Canoe Theory of Marriage. And the impact of keeping score of the good is hard to overstate. For Mary, an emergency-room medical technician, work demands run in cycles.

For several months, she finds herself at the hospital most waking hours. Then demands change and her hours on duty return to something more reasonable. Mary told me that during her busy weeks, her husband tries to do many of her chores around the house.

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