Overcoming Sexual Abuse: Inspired by the Holy Spirit of God

What does the Bible say about sexual assault?

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I believe that survivors need to be empowered to give a healing voice to their hurtful pasts.

For me, that healing began when I came to recognize the abuse I had suffered and was willing to face the hard truth. I had to understand that I was not alone and that my past abuse does not define me. I overcame being a victim, and now I'm in the process of realizing the full potential of God's providential and gracious hand on my life. With this understanding, I can now move forward with healing and hope.

When I created the I Have A Voice project video series, I relived the heartrending memories and feelings related to the abuse I endured by my grandfather. By allowing myself to be vulnerable and honest during the filming, I believe that others may be stirred to open up about their own "secret" and move past feelings of victimization to focus on the things gained through adversity.

Abuse changes things forever, but healing is possible if the choice is made to overcome the victim mentality and work hard to become a survivor.

Charisma Magazine

Earlier this year, through Hopeful Hearts Ministry , I conducted an online survey that revealed some alarming information regarding domestic abuse survivors. About 98 percent of survivors polled indicated that they had suffered abuse by a family member during childhood. They suffered mental and psychological abuse before the abuse ever turned physical. The abuse is subtle, mental, verbal, emotional, slowly chipping away at self-confidence. Support groups and self-defense courses can help empower survivors on their journey to healing.

One survivor I know recently shared with me: By talking about it and also filming the I Have a Voice video I walked out of the shame of the abuse. I am so proud of Jose and her new outlook on life. She has faced the pain of her past, and now she is moving forward. She has enrolled in graduate school to pursue a long time dream and has been an example of hope to everyone around her including her daughter. The prevalence and the insidious nature of abuse are overwhelming. Most people don't realize that domestic violence rarely begins with actual violence.

More often, it starts with emotional and verbal abuse. Ultimately, this dominance turns to violence when the victim begins to show signs of defiance. However, there is hope. You can be a bridge to hope for those facing the scourge of domestic violence by not only being aware of the plight they face, but sharing resources available to help. Deitz is the award-winning author of Exposed: Inexcusable Me, Irreplaceable Him.

Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said:. He loves you perfectly and can help you as no earthly parent, spouse, or devoted friend can. His Son gave his life so that by faith in him and obedience to his teachings you can be made whole. He is the consummate healer.

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Our purpose in mortality is to exercise our agency in ways that lead us back to Christ. Yet some individuals use their agency to make evil choices, and others suffer deeply as a result. In most cases Heavenly Father does not prevent individuals from accomplishing evil; to do so would compromise the agency of all of His children. He knows that moral agency is a precious gift that must be protected, for the proper and best use of it will result in the greatest gift of all: An experience of Alma and Amulek illustrates the importance of agency.

Amulek was horrified when faithful women and children were thrown into the fire, and he implored Alma to exercise the power of God to save them. The gospel teaches that when bad things happen to people, this does not make them bad. We are judged only for our own desires, intentions, and actions, not for the actions of others against us.

When people are sexually abused, they often develop incorrect ideas about themselves and their relationships with others, and they may treat people inappropriately. The good news of the gospel is that through faith, diligent effort, and the help of the Lord, they can change their behavior and repent of their own harmful actions. As a result of the sexual abuse she had suffered as a child, she felt consumed by shame and anger.

She turned her anger on others, lashing out at those who were closest to her. However, as she learned to separate the hurtful things that had been done to her from the wrong things she had done in her life, she was able to give her perpetrators responsibility for their acts while accepting responsibility for her own wrongs.

There was no need for her to repent for bad things done to her—they were not under her control, were not her choice, and had even started when she was too young to understand what was happening. But she could repent of her own acts of agency that had hurt others. In doing so, she began to experience a sense of peace and forgiveness that she had not dreamed possible. Sexual abuse often results in feelings of shame and in an excessive fear of judgment by others. This, in turn, may lead to an obsession with perfection.

Yet the Lord knows we experience different levels of difficulty in this life, and He asks that we do the best we can with what we have. The Lord wants each of us to return to live with Him again and will help us do so. Only He is capable of pronouncing final judgment on anyone, for He alone fully knows our challenges, our choices, and the desires of our hearts.

In the premortal existence we knew that making mistakes would be part of the mortal experience. Aileen Clyde, a former counselor in the Relief Society general presidency, wrote: This perfecting does not have flawless living as its aim; rather, perfecting is the exercise of agency amidst difficult choices that yields growth and progress. Like many others who have been sexually abused, she believed that even her smallest mistakes were proof of her lack of worth.

Paralyzed by her fear, she did not dare cook, clean, balance her checkbook, or teach her children. But she realized that not doing these things was also a mistake. Caught in this double bind, she felt almost unable to function.

Healing the Spiritual Wounds of Sexual Abuse

She learned that the Lord Jesus Christ felt the weight of our infirmities as well as our sins through the Atonement see Alma 7: Seeking peace through prayer. He loves us and wants us to communicate with Him.

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President Ezra Taft Benson said of prayer: It has healed sickness [and] comforted those distressed. When the time was right for me to begin the healing process, Heavenly Father led my life in significant ways to bring me into contact with the people who could help me the most. Understand righteous use of the priesthood. If abuse came at the hands of a priesthood holder, there may be confusion about what the priesthood is and how the Lord intends it to be exercised. The scriptures clearly teach that priesthood power is lost when it is used unrighteously:.

After the Unnamed Concubine was gang-raped and left for dead by men in the tribe of Benjamin, the other tribes went to war against them upon hearing of her injustice Jgs.

And after Tamar was raped by her half-brother, Amnon, her brother Absalom killed him, and incited a rebellion against his father, King David 2 Sam. Rape was neither covered up nor ignored. Instead, it was answered and avenged.

It was such a cultural convulsion that it was answered with outrage and further violence. The cases of rape in Scripture tell us something about the cases of rape we are hearing today: These women must be heard and they must be protected. The Old Testament Law gives us an even greater picture of just how much God takes up the cause of the victim and the vulnerable.

There is one passage in particular, Deuteronomy Like all of the legal codes, these laws reveal the heart and character of God. Thus you shall purge the evil from among you. Compared to the other scenarios in this passage, these verses describe a consensual encounter. The significant thing in this verse is the surroundings it defines. Since it is described as happening in city, it implies that there were people nearby who could have helped her had she cried out.

Because she was betrothed to another man, she was already considered his wife, making this equivalent to adultery Deut. But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case. When he found her in the field, the engaged girl cried out, but there was no one to save her. I was stunned when I first read this passage! Not only did the rapist receive the death penalty, but the woman was protected from all recourse. She was neither shamed nor shunned.

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