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You showed me everyday how much you appreciated me and how much our connection meant to US. You are still showing me. On our toughest days we can find comfort in our love and that gives us strength. Strength to fight for what we believe in. Right now we believe in our love enough to take a step back and see which path is the path we are destined to take. One day I would love to take your hand and walk down that path with you, my soulmate and one true love.
ALLways Sugar that kinda just made me emotional ALLways your ability to touch my heart and my willingness to open myself up to you, is describable. It made me smile. HOME is where the heart is. ALLways I'm happy you found your strength today and that I could help. Self doubt and all the outside noise have a way of doing that.
I feel it too. Thank for your kind words regarding me showing you how much you mean to me. It was easy and still is today to show you that appreciation. You know it's funny but like Friday I can feel that my attitude is "different" right now. It's positive and I feel life in me. You shared that with me today. It will fade as the silence returns between us, but I'll KNOW a smile, a laugh, just hearing your voice will let those feelings rush over me again Take OUR strength with you today and tonight.
Be honest, be open, and let your sunshine through. I feel like I could move mountains as long as I know I have you by side. I'm still so scared but hearing you say that your attitude is positive and that you feel good gives me some peace. Does it give you the strength to try to open yourself up to her and possibly find a connection with her again?
As I said earlier, if I had to choose today I would choose you but if I was told I have to stay where I am at, I think I would be able to find a way to live happily but there would always be a sense of loss and wonder of what could have been with US. ALLways it feels so good that I don't even what to go there but how will it impact me tonight I'm happy cause of OUR connection not what I'm gonna find at home.
I almost tell like I better "tone it down" beforehand. What a way to live, right?!? I feel similar to you. Could it be found - maybe, but it would always come with doubt and what ifs. Don't let me stop you Don't let US stop you. When I find you, I'll find me. ALLways my heart is racing. Like only you can do. ALLways take comfort knowing that I'm not going anywhere without your happiness. As I've told you, I'm ruined. We might not be perfect but ALLways I'm listening now. Thank You for connecting with me, opening up, sharing the songs. YOU made my day better - like you have countless times before and like I hope you would in the future.
You really out did yourself with these songs. I'm smiling as I gaze into your hazel eyes and have that dance I've longed for Thank you for helping me today. Thank you again for giving me strength today and making me better. I want to give you that dance I'll be thinking of you tonight as ALLways ALLways I'm speechless after hearing the words you are singing to me through these songs. ALLways Can't tell where you end and I began Let sun shine down! ALLways I don't have to keep talkin. I don't have to keep walkin. Just have to lay here with you ALLways and in case you want to wiggle just a little bit: Listen to What Do You Mean?
Not cause the meaning really but just cause it was NOT something we struggled with. I've always known what you mean. I love sharing songs with you. I'm glad you liked them. I love that you imagined me singing them to you. Those words I sang to you are everything we feel for each other.
My thoughts have not changed, you are my one and only. This process will take time and no one knows which paths will be taken but please always know, I'd rather be with you. ALLways explore the paths. Only you can decide what's best for You! And only I can decide for Me. Maybe We can help each other but neither makes the decision for the other. We continue to understand that and we seek the answer. And if they day come where we must lay down and stop fighting for US, I'll hurt but know it was for the right reasons. I hope it went well today ALLways where are you finding this music that speaks to my soul???
Thank You for sharing Wanted to share it then. I found the others this morning. No really love Joshua Radin. He has gone through some of the same things cause all his music speaks to me. Let's find ourselves so we know if we will find OURselves. ALLways this is what I'm talking about. When you decide you know what you're after, you don't let anything stand in your way.
You're courageous and determined. And it inspires me. I've known you had this in you, I've seen it before and felt that inspiration. I'm glad you found someone who you have the confindance in to know that they can help you find you. You're gonna get everything you want out of this experience and discover the path that lets you smile and puts that sparkle in your eye.
I believe it you! ALLways I can't say that you'll ALLways enjoy the journey but maybe it will make the destination all that much sweeter. I'm so glad to here you understand that rushing the process would be foolish and unfair to everyone. Respect the process and the path will become more clear. It might be just as hard, but at least you'll have the confidence to battle those challenges KNOW that you made a decision that was not based purely on emotion.
You're getting into the deep tracks and you're right, he and the chick singing with him are US! I was honest with M tonight about talking with you and I'm not sure where it's going to end up. He asked me and I just couldn't lie. He wasn't happy but when he said I just need to let you go, I couldn't say I would.
I'm still committed to working on the process and want to find the right path but everything is so uncertain. ALLways well your willingness to be honest is awesome. I couldn't do it. When I was asked - I lied. Guess I should have known something was up for her to ask me so matter of factly Flag missingUS on May 03, I told him I talked to you on the phone. He doesn't know about this. He knows I can't let you go. I don't know what to do. ALLways I'm feeling like he did. She said to me "it's so hard to trust" and then asked if I had talk to you at all I'm hoping you can tell me what to say to him, cause he wrote me.
When did she ask you about it? I wanted to tell him not to reach out to either of you so you can continue working on your marriage but I didn't. I did tell him you were trying to repair your marriage and he said well at least someone is ALLways he said "Thanks for your help we were having some progress until you had to talk again" Wrote me that at about 7: I think I'm going to say "are you willing to talk to me on the phone?
ALLways I tell him while you and I both recognize that we strong feeling for eachother that both of us want to keeping trying for our families and while yesterday might have been a step back - there are days ahead that can be 2steps forward. I am not ready to lose you but the consequences are almost unfathomable. But then I think if I am so willing to deal with those consequences how can I just let go, letting go of US seems more unfathomable in this moment. I know closure is the only way you and I can even give them a chance but Baby I never want to let my love for go.
Did you request this??? So he didn't treaten to kill me or anything so I'd say that's positive: ALLways I'm sorry I'm in a meeting. I'll update you soon Flag missingUS on May 03, While talking like we did on the phone isn't the answer, believing that we would simply ignore the feeling that got us to this point and that we continue to carry was unreasonable.
ALLways he seemed to kind of understand that. I told him that while this is a set back it doesn't mean that all is lost. I told him that you and I feel a lot alike and having everyone tells us just to stop feeling that wasn't working and that I felt good to talk to you and hear that I'm not alone is the way I feel. ALLways I told him that it actually felt good just t even talk to him - and he agreed. ALLways I told him that I didn't know how to STOP loving someone that was my best friend for the last 2 years - but simply ignoring them wasn't working.
ALLways be told me he has his doubts anything will "work" and I agreed that it is and had been very tough and it's been equally hard for N and I. ALLways I told him I'd be more that happy to share the brochure from the weekend thing we did and he seemed open to that. Both of us said that it actually felt good to communicate and I told him I wish I could help and if he thinks of anything that he wants or needs from me - I'd do all I could. ALLways I feel the same as you do. HOW do we and what if I can't.
What if I don't want to cause it feels so right?? ALLways you know once we got talking it actually got easier and I'm not sure either of us were really ready to hang up. Like he said in his message it's weird but it felt like a positive step. Those are pretty much the same questions Matt has been asking me. I feel like in my head and heart now I am choosing the latter option.
Trying to find myself and the eenie meanie game. But for me if I choose Matt it's not for him or me, it's for my kids and the commitment I made to him. Today I am not willing to let you go. Even if I "make things work" with him, I don't ever want to let my love for you go. I think it is way too soon to decide anything but I agree with N It's not fair to string them along if our end game is not to fix it with them. I feel like you and I need a face to face talk. So we can figure this out. I'm scared to say that maybe the only way to try with them is to say goodbye to each other So I'm not saying it but I'm thinking it and thinking it is killing me.
ALLways wow that song 2x now. It touched my heart seeing that your dad wrote you. I'm so glad he is there for you. I really love you so much. I'm sorry we have to feel this pain and cause so much pain bc of the love we feel is right. ALLways I'm thinking that's what he's going to talk to you about tonight. We didn't really talk what that boundary is. I gets you have an opportunity to weigh in on that rather than him dictating everything. ALLways I guess I'm not is a bad of a place as you right now.
I should be but maybe I'm hanging on to your words yesterday and they are giving me the hope that I believed could exist. ALLways and I'm not saying that to lead you back. You have to do what YOU decide. And you don't need to decide anything today or this week. ALLways for me, I kind think I should back a bag for tonight ALLways after reading your message here from last night, I couldn't listen to any of those songs this morning. I wanted to but knew they would just bring me down and I know I can't do that if you are already there.
But last night in my dreams they were there. I woke a couple times with the words in my mind. Make the decision and just go. I don't think you need to decide that right now. Talk with her, be honest tell her we talked on the phone. Tell her what you said to Matt. Tell her what you are feeling. I listened to them this morning too. ALLways you are strong. Stonger than me anyway ALLways the ability to just go isn't going to fix anything.
We can run from this cause being away from it hurts like hell.
We want it in our lives but don't want to accept the pain is will bring to everyone that our lives touch. You need to try. And you need to be honest. I knew I couldn't lie to him about the phone calls with you I thought at one point he was gonna tell me to get out but he didn't. I just told him it is too soon to decide anything. I was honest with him about hurting from not being able to talk to you and missing our emotional connection.
I think that may be what I was missing with him. With you I have that, I have my best friend and the physical connection you and I share makes it unreal. I feel like she may be in more of the mind set that she is willing to let go. Matt is set on never letting go. If you don't want to tell the truth bc your scared to lose it all, then you have to know deep down you want to at least try. But in my head I feel like I'm only trying to say that I tried and then I don't have to give you us.
This is so messed up and confusing. ALLways are you tell me to let go of US?? Cause if didn't have the mind set that the risk wasn't too much to handle. I thought that's what I was determining ALLways I'm gonna tell the truth. I owe it now Flag missingUS on May 03, Just like you have said to me before. I am always here Flag ALLways ALLways thank you for keeping this between US.
ALLways I don't know what to say ALLways I missed the song. Pretty much telling my Mom everything. You'll probably want to read this I do want read whatever it is. The song was let it go by James bay. If she asks if we talked I'm going to say yes and that M knows we did and that we are looking for closure of that is possible.
I know it's not. You know it's not but neither of us are making any decisions just yet. We will get through this together, no matter what the outcome is. I'll show you the conversation with mom after you're done. You need to talk to the therapist and see how that goes. No matter what we choose. ALLways I'm scared right now but it's a different kind of fear than I've had ALLways I hope you're right about being able to get through this together.
Cause I know I don't want to be alone. ALLways pretty sure S knows something is up. She said she saw you stop at the copy machine earlier but I said that phone call was just business. I told her it feels better to have a little communication. If she asks we will just say we couldn't ignore each other anymore, it was making everything worse. No one will believe it's just small communication but we know and M knows some so it's ok.
The fear that we might be making a decision that could ruin US and maybe everyone we care about is scary. I am here for you. ALLways she was talking to J and it looked like was getting close to tears.
ALLways but I agree it was small communication - hi - have a good day - that sort of thing. That's all I have confidence in. And if WE get to be US then you will never be alone no matter what else or who else is in our life. Know that I want you, I choose you.
Just like you told me yesterday. Just hold that tight. I just know you'll always be part of my soul. ALLways and I'm telling you if your truly can ALLways I deserve to be hurt. ALLways can you just tell me what to do. What am I trying for tonight??? ALLways I'll say you said hi but nothing more. ALLways God doesn't make junk. He wants us to be happy. Can we be happy knowing hurting people? But the hurt hasn't happened yet so it's scary to think about telling those kids there life is going to be different.
Tell her we've communicated and it feels better. We are having a hard time letting go and need closure but fear that closure isn't enough. Just tell her what you feel. But you want to talk to the therapist on Monday and see if she can give you incite. Don't make any decisions tonight. ALLways that sounds reasonable ALLways and I'll be thinking of you.
ALLways S doesn't look happy. S is making assumptions at this point. I mean just remember his head could be in a different place than yours. ALLways I hope your night is Good. I don't like me. ALLways she was devastated that I lied ALLways she's gonna make me make the decision but isn't going to sit back and wait for me to do it - not sure what that means but I told her I was trying and that I would make the decision as soon as I figured it out.
I'm sure the therapist can help with that! ALLways S wrote me ask how long would it take before she'd be able to believe that me saying you and I talking about "work" was truly that. ALLways not a good night. And all I can think about right now; N called S to talk about everything. S told N that you told her that your counselor said you shouldn't be with me and that you should me with M. How come you didn't tell ME that? I feel like that was pretty big I needed you to hear my voice and I needed to hear yours.
I hate the hurt we are causing and I hate the hurt we are feeling. Then last week, we talked and that pain went away. Are we being a detriment to our marriages by us talking YES, does it sound logical to us that we need this to find closure, YES but what we need to decide is whether or not we can get through the pain of letting go of US and give it our all with our spouses and not feel resentful for them or them ending up feeling resentful and leaving anyway.
These are things we can't figure out alone. We are getting that help. ALLways sometimes the juice is worth the squeeze. That phone call was That. But it can Never come out and neither can this. Flag missingUS on May 04, I just want to make sure our stories are straight.
ALLways you're right we need help. But why does it feel like our talks are helping us? The only thinking they are helping is US. And we know the consequences of US. Yet we keep risking it all ALLways no but just say it was about the guy coming in for lunch from way back when. We both want US. We both know that US comes with endless consequences. We need to figure out if those consequences are with it. ALLways is it this simple: Choose them and the only people hurting are You and Me? I didn't really have a good answer but in my head all I could think was YES we would make it!
I feel like we would but what if it was too much would we end up resenting each other and then end up alone?
I am just saying these things as thoughts so don't take anything to heart. We have to think of all of these things. They are all I can think about. We wouldn't be ok with that. I don't want to hurt W and C. We wouldn't be ok with that ALLways we said we loved eachother enough to let go - but we didn't. Now we have NO choice if we are going to avoid hurting them. Do you want to see what your therapist says? Or do we just decide here and now and let the heartbreak start all over? Is this the right choice, probably, but man it hurts so bad. ALLways yes it is. And we would have to do it in a way that is "I'm hurting and dead inside" but inspired to live a happy life with the people around me.
Cause if either of us sees otherwise from one another - we'll fall apart. If I have to tuck you away in a safe place and let you stay there forever, I will. I love you more than life itself. ALLways I haven't been yet - you tell me, is the therapist really going to reveal to us a way? ALLways then why isn't the risk worth it? ALLways you would have to let me go - completely. Like out of your heart even otherwise you'd never heal.
Like so much that I would need to get a new job. Seeing you makes me happy seeing you makes me love you even more ALLways that would fade. Not overnight or in a week or 2 weeks. But as the months pasted it would fade. ALLways it's crushing me too! Like I don't know how I'm gonna go on??? Cause if not the moment doubt crept in Does happy even exist? ALLways it would fade cause our minds would kill it and force it. Certainly not cause I want it to cause I don't. I'm trying to protect IT with everything I've got!
ALLways don't do that. So getting a new job would be the only way to keep the doubt away. To make sure you stayed happy with your life. ALLways that will make it worse cause then you truly will allways wonder. ALLways do you want to just say F ck it? ALLways or do you want to commit to something? ALLways and I'm not saying decide Now. I'd like to get to 1 appointment and ask why I'm risking everything?
Why am I willing to hurt everyone for my own happiness? Does that make me a monster who will never be truly happy? Or we'll never take a real step forward. We shuffle along like we have been but that's not what either of us wants. I'm never going to stop wondering whether you are in front of me or not. In my heart right now, I know you are who I want to be with but I don't want to hurt my kids and everyone else. I don't want to have to struggle even more than we already do for money.
Are all these things worth it to me YES I want you, I choose you. But choosing you isn't fair to anyone and if I just walk away from you then I'm making the decision I'm deciding to let you move on without me always here making you wonder. ALLways I want to choose you too. But all that stuff is rational. Do I believe WE would make it work - yes I do. And if we weren't we would have to communicate every feeling and emotion we were sharing so that we didn't all anything to eat at or or break US down. We have always shared everything, every feeling and emotion. You and I can't decide to be together today, next week or next month.
We need time but it's not fair to them to keep them waiting. Or what if 3 years down the road they are like Nope, you did this horrible thing long ago and I was second choice and I'm out now. What if, what if, what if ALLways it hasn't been an issue but we could never let it develop into one.
So when we were struggling with the reality of the situation we would have share and explain those feeling and not allow them to be bottled up and held inside for resentment to manifest itself. ALLways and please don't talk about a new job regardless. You have a great job and it provides for you and your family. You throwing that away would devastate me - cause I'd feel responsible.
Am I they selfish or do I have that much conviction in US? But I know seeing children cry is going to be real too Am we strong enough to lean on eachother to get through that.
We have had our own little tests but this would be a whole new level. But there are kids to think about. We know we don't want to hurt them. Choosing US will hurt them. But will not choosing US hurt them down the road when they see their parents not completely happy? I have no doubts in OUR relationship. Not one single doubt I am just struggling with the hurt the kids will feel. If I'm hurting this bad I can't imagine what tearing their lives apart will do to them.
Colton has enough on his plate, I haven't even told you he has to be held back next year. Carlee has my emotions and she will be so confused. I am just so scared. Scared to hurt them and scared to lose you, lose US. ALLways it will hurt the kids. Will the love they see between US be enough to get them through the pain. But will putting them 1st and above all where they need to be ruin US? Will we drift away and lose the connection that is at our core? Not cause we "want to" but because life will steal our shine.
How will we keep the tree growing and the love burning? We may feel like we are slipping cause life gets in the way but we would be open and honest and communicate. ALLways I believe that too. We'd lose some shine but still sparkle. But given that news - is too much? ALLways too much risk?
But risking their happiness in the future by staying isn't fair either. ALLways so what do we do? ALLways cause what I wants hasn't changed. I want to choose you and commit to you. That's completely self and the things holding US back are telling me and you "don't do it". But I want to so bad!!!! But don't want to lose US during the fight. He asked me if I have seen or talked to you today. I told him no you aren't here. He said good that makes me feel better. Then later he said. ALLways I don't want the pain we inflict on the kids and delay their development.
ALLways N is done with me if any of this is revealed. I'm holding on by a thread there. Like a single thread You said that our call this morning can't come out and it won't unless he asks me or has proof but is US hiding that telling us we don't want them to find out and be done or are we just scared of the hurt we will cause?? All of this needs to stay between US. And maybe even die with US ALLways I'm scared of the hurt and not on them. That's there already Flag missingUS on May 04, ALLways you can confidently say there has been no touching.
But anthing else needs to stay here. I hate hate hate that US could die. Like probably the most of all the hurt. ALLways I'm telling you he or anyone better have proof. It can't be just him asking your 2x if your lying. It can't have happened or the decision is made ALLways and right now I'm searching for an answer not a decision. I will not tell him about this. ALLways can I tell you that as bad as my night was, I hoped yours was worse.
And that you made a decision. And whatever it was whatever worse means I would have felt a sense of relief knowing what I needed to do. ALLways I'm not longer talking about any of the hurt expect the little 4. Can we get through that. I'm not saying get over it - cause we will struggle. But could we overcome. I feel that we could overcome the hurt but it will NOT be easy.
ALLways could we build a bubble for the 6 of us to thrive - be happy, laugh, learn, play ALLways nothing worth gettin is easy! ALLways I know we've said it but if we truly believe it then it isn't purely a selfish decision. Cause we'd be believing that we are Bettering their lives! ALLways and we'd have to believe in it so much that we'd say it when people asked why. At least to those who we felt needed to know the truth behind our actions. All he want to do is touch and be positive. I give him what he needs but my heart is not in it.
I feel like that is giving him false hope. What are your daily interactions with her? Do you feel like you push her away so you don't feel a connection with her and lose the one you have with me or is it just cause there is no emotional spark with her. Obviously that what was missing for both of us and that's what lead to US. M sent it to me and asked me to listen so I did. I know how it made me feel and I want to see how it makes you feel. ALLways after the 1st week her and I were in a good place were were connecting mentally and physicall 2x and then it hit me like a truck that I might always have this self doubt and I started pulling back and push myself away.
Even though she was trying to show me I should be "picking her" I didn't want that. So I closed up just like had been doing prior to it all coming out - probably more so even. The 1st week, I let him in and even felt a little connection but the next week, it was like no I'm still feeling a void. ALLways since that 1st week I don't even text her much at all. Cause like you I'm trying to limit the interactions that give false hope. She had turned cold towards me since Tuesday and now is very cold today.
Since Tuesday we've hardly touched But I'm still pushing him away. I'm too scared to lose you. ALLways it bothers me but I haven't shed a tear about it at this point. But I think there is truth to the fact that both of us want them to be cold and push us away so we don't have to make the decision. They make it for us Flag missingUS on May 04, ALLways I watched the video. Sounds like you're gonna be going to church.
I know I've felt better having cleared my conscious of my actions. But church hadn't changed my heart or my gut. But like I told you before, I can't do anything whole heartedly if it means you are not in my life. How did their story make you feel? ALLways I can't go back to that 1st week and create that cause That didn't last. Especially when money is tight? I know I would. It's only an option if we choose them I swear every word she is singing it everything we are.
My favorite part is "you love the way I am". ALLways I can't imagine having 3 years of that kind of patience. There story was similar to the ones I heard last weekend. I question what I want ALLways and you do the same for me. I open up differently. You love me for who I am now! And I feel the same. I need and want to tell you everything. ALLways that's cause you're really awesome ALLways I have to same desire to tel you everything. But we have to get back to the little She mentioned N leaving with the kids. I thought oh my goodness, if she leaves and when I say leave I mean move away it won't just be you it affects.
Your mom sees them so often and what about Breah.
And only I can decide for Me. You might think you know today but we don't. ALLways are you scared to make a decision? ALLways I believe that too. It's got stregth for you General Comment I agree with Philomathetes. If I could only have just 1 - it would be to have that slow dance with you.
I hate to think that they won't be able to see them whenever they wanted. I hate thinking that you won't see them whenever you want, I hate thinking I won't get to see them. I miss them too. I love them too ALLways I don't believe Nickie would do anything that extreme. She knows that my family is going to support her no matter what. Could she move to GR yeah she could, but that would be it would be my responsibility to make sure their cousin life is still there. And I know WE would do that. I think N is convinced you'll be a wicked step mother but I know nothing could be further from the truth.
Would it be different with someone else, yeah but they would feel the love. And neither of us is expecting to be the all powerful parent. At least I'm not. I'm scared to death of them. I love them, my kids love them. There would be so much love So much TRUE love! ALLways any interaction with S today? Please remember that this conversation need to be protected at costs. It bothers me that she doesn't ever talk to me or ask me about things. I feel like she is not really my true friend. ALLways she's trying to be a friend to everyone and it's just spread her thin.
I actually sympathize for but know I need to cut my cord. And I thought that would hurt but it's nothing compared to the hurt in my heart Flag missingUS on May 04, ALLways the hurt is because is don't want to. In spite of every reason to do so! If you are ready to take that step then do it. ALLways I want to let our sun shine down. ALLways I want each of us to have the process but maybe we don't get it.
I want to know what happens when you tell your counselor this Flag missingUS on May 04, ALLways I can't just do it - just like you can't. Cause it's forcing the others hand Flag missingUS on May 04, I don't know what is best and you are right we need time but maybe we don't get it.
"Standing Outside the Fire" is a song co-written and recorded by American country music artist Garth Brooks. It was released in December as the third . Lyrics and video for the song Standing Outside The Fire by Garth Brooks - Songfacts.
Did she tell you you shouldn't be talking to me? ALLways I can't and don't want to force what could be the biggest decision in my life. Even though my actions are saying ice decided. I go back Monday at 5: Why would anyone but us think it's a good idea for us to talk. Then please do that please, hurt me. In the emotional music video, a high school student with Down syndrome named Brandon decides to not participate in the institution's Special Olympics but signs up for the regular event.
There is much strife between Brandon's father and mother concerning whether or not he should be allowed to do this. The father is strongly opposed, claiming that "he will embarrass himself. Brandon is seen working very hard for the meet. The coach tries to help him out, but his father runs on the track and encourages his son to finish the race regardless, rather than quit. The father says to the coach, "Get away from him! He is not finished! Garth himself is not seen until 2 minutes into the video, where he is playing and singing with his band in front of a set resembling the sign-up board, which is on fire.
After that, Brooks is also seen amongst the crowd of the sports day event. He said at the time that the reason for this is because he wanted the focus of the video to be on the storyline, versus him playing the song. Contrary to popular belief, the drum kit Garth's drummer was playing was placed directly outside the fire and melted during the shoot.
The school scenes including the track meet were filmed at John Marshall High School , the same school where Van Halen 's " Hot For Teacher " video and the final carnival scene from Grease was filmed, while the residental scenes were filmed in nearby Westwood, CA. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Library and Archives Canada. Retrieved August 4, Retrieved from " https: Articles with hAudio microformats Singlechart usages for Canadacountry Singlechart called without artist Singlechart called without song Singlechart usages for Billboardcountrysongs.
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