Unequal Affections: A Pride and Prejudice Retelling

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Unequal affections : a Pride & Prejudice retelling

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Would you also like to submit a review for this item? You already recently rated this item. Your rating has been recorded. Well—" he flushed, "not as much as I love her, perhaps, but sincerely, I am convinced of it. She does return my regard. This task was turning out to be even more unpleasant than he had anticipated, but he steeled himself to continue without flinching. Her countenance was ever serene and smiling, indicating a general complaisance, but no discernible depth of feeling.

She received your attentions with pleasure, it's true, but no differently than she received any other young man's attentions. I acquit her of scheming—that is her mother's part—but if you proposed she would certainly accept you; how could she do otherwise, in her situation? You will give her no other choice. Family duty, prudence, will all compel her to accept you regardless of her feelings. If you do not propose, you will certainly disappoint Mrs. Bennet's hopes, but not necessarily Miss Bennet's. She will not be heartbroken. In fact, she may even be slightly relieved.

During this whole speech Bingley had sat with his head in his hands.

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When Darcy finished there was a long silence before he finally looked up, his face haggard. But based upon my own observation, I am completely convinced within myself that her heart has not been touched. That Darcy's conviction weighed heavily on the other was clear. He passed a shaky hand through his hair, and unshed tears shone in his eyes. I'm not especially handsome or especially clever or especially good.

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I did think, but…" he jumped up and walked around the room in a disjointed fashion. Darcy simply waited in silence. But there was none. It was just her general sweetness, her kindness. Darcy spoke gently, "I know this is painful for you, but you must consider before you truly have gone too far to draw back.

Is it really worth the humiliation of such a family, such low con-nections, to acquire a wife who, however sweet and kind, cannot even return your affection? Can you really rate your own happiness above your obligation to your sister? Would you even be happy in such a marriage? You love her, but is just having her enough? Is having her, but not having her heart—giving up so much, putting up with so much without even an equal return of regard, sufficient?

Could it be sufficient for any man? Another long silence, then Charles said, "No.

No, it is not sufficient. I could not be content to love but not be loved in return. If she had loved me, Darcy…" he sighed brokenly. But I can't make her love me, can I? By the end, she only felt curiously detached. It was a shock—there was no denying it was a shock, and the agitated young man with the glowing eyes and impassioned tones seemed like a stranger. He was a stranger, she realized all at once.

She did not really know him at all. And she found she could not hate him; he had been so… so very frank, so very ardent, so very unlike the man she thought she knew.

In a moment, all her prejudices, all her notions of his attitudes and behavior, seemed overthrown. She had been proposed to by a stranger. A very rich, very handsome stranger who was very in love with her. She could not possibly accept him—but, suddenly, she could not possibly refuse him either, not now. This was, she knew clearly, a chance unlike any other she would ever receive.

She could not turn him down for the satisfaction of it.

She had to think. When Darcy at last ceased talking, leaned his broad shoulders on the mantle, and fixed his eyes on Elizabeth's face, she did not bear the expression of a woman overjoyed at a brilliant offer. She looked merely… thoughtful, with a slight frown as if there were some puzzle she was trying to solve.

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He waited impatiently until she raised her eyes to his. I need time to consider. She looked at him seriously. Until you began to speak, I had never considered the possibility. Now it was her turn to look surprised. It is true we met often, but we spoke little. Darcy opened his mouth, closed it again, and said, "Just because it is unexpected does not mean that it is unwelcome. She raised one eyebrow. You have certainly considered at length—have I no similar right? I had not thought to leave Kent without an understanding between us.

Elizabeth blushed a little. He regarded her with an enigmatic expression. When I saw you again that night I knew I could no longer deny the nature of my desires. The decision came upon me gradually, I believe, and every hour in your company made it more firm. I have been waiting since yesterday for an opportunity to speak to you. As uncomfortable as this conversation was, Elizabeth also found it fascinating. She had been so mistaken in her understanding of his thoughts and motives!

He seemed resigned to answering any question she asked, so she ventured a little further. I would like—" he paused and looked at her directly, "I would like to be married soon. He relaxed and smiled a little. If not, I will find other accommodations. I am sure you are accustomed to far better. He seemed a little confused as to the purpose of this line of questioning.

Now it was her turn to sigh. But if you wish to seek me in the grove tomorrow morning, I believe I will have a better understanding of my sentiments then. He bowed his acquiescence, then, with a softened expression, came across the room to her. She stood up, and he took her hand. You must understand that until I had determined to my own complete satisfaction what my intentions were, I did not want to behave in such a way—that is, I did not wish to give rise to expectations which—" he bit his lip.

He looked at her for a moment, then pressed the hand he still held. I bid you a good evening. Elizabeth sat up late that night. She was highly keyed up and still felt so strangely dispassionate. She did not love him, but neither did she feel her past determined dislike. She could not forget the things she had against him, but they no longer seemed so terrible. Bad manners might be improved. His original insult of her could certainly be forgiven him now, though she deplored his having said such a thing about any woman within her hearing. The Wickham matter was far more serious, but for the first time Elizabeth was able to look at it without prejudice, and for the first time she acknowledged that she might not know the full truth of what happened those years ago.

Wickham had been believable, but time and emotion could have colored his account.

Darcy's wife, furthermore, she would be in a position to possibly right whatever wrong had been done. What was certain was that she would be in a position to help Jane. It was all very well, she decided in a very Charlotte-like burst of common sense, to rail against him for what he had done, but it would do Jane far more good to use her unexpected influence to change his mind. After all, he could hardly continue to object to his own sister-in-law as a suitable choice for his friend. And he was a clever man, and a sensible one.

He was rich enough to help her entire family, and he was in love with her. It was a lot. Elizabeth had never had a man in love with her before, and it was difficult not to think of the power she evidently had over him. What would it be like… to have such influence over the happiness of a man like that? Darcy also sat up late that night. It was not the first time. Just the night before he had paced his room, wild with passion and wracked with misgivings.

He was determined—he had made up his mind—but pride would not be silent. It whispered that he was embarrassing himself, embarrassing his family, embarrassing his connections. His humiliation this night was of a different sort, a more intimate, personal humiliation. But Darcy was too just a man not to accede to the fairness of her position. And he'd never really believed that she was as violently in love with him as he was with her—had he? The next morning was fresh and cool. Elizabeth had not gone far on her way before she found him waiting for her.

He bowed quickly and they fell into step together. They walked a little in silence until Mr. Darcy burst out, "Miss Bennet, I cannot stand this suspense! Please tell me if you have reached a conclusion. Darcy, I have not," she replied. Please do not be offended, but I have many things I must say and questions I must ask before I can make a decision. Though you have made me a flattering offer, I am constitutionally incapable of deciding the rest of my life without thorough consideration. Darcy slowly, "if you did not have a lively mind and independent spirit. I had not intended, last night, to catch you so completely by surprise.

I do not like the delay, but I cannot say I blame you for it. I am afraid I must begin with that which must pain you, but it would be unjust for me to be less frank than you have been, and it should be said at once. If you wish to withdraw your offer in light of this information, then I would understand completely and not hold it against you.

There was no immediate answer to this statement. Stealing a look up at him, Elizabeth saw Mr. Darcy staring straight up ahead, a muscle in his jaw working. It was hardly surprising information to Darcy by now, but still it hurt to hear her say it so plainly. She had not even attached any words regarding the warmth of her regard or respect. Still, he knew his answer. Seeing that he was not inclined to say anything more at present, she gathered her courage in both hands and forged ahead.

I have seen what a marriage without either looks like, Mr. Darcy, and I do not wish for one like it—which is why I must ask you to examine the nature of your own feelings for me. Darcy halted abruptly, turning towards her. I assure you I did not! Elizabeth took a steadying breath, unable to look at his face. What I doubt—what I question," she began to walk slowly on, "is their durability.

Darcy stood still, watching her warily. Darcy, that everything you said last night regarding my unsuitability to be your wife is true, and perhaps even natural on your part, but the language that you used—the warmth of your expressions—if you feel so strongly now, sir, when you are in the first flush of passion, how will you feel once that passion fades—once you have me as your own and my charms are no longer as fresh as they once were—and once the evils you fear come upon you because of me? I could not bear to be married to a man who resented and regretted me. Darcy was absolutely confounded.

She stood before him, trim and tense, her chin lifted proudly even while she flushed at her own admissions. He felt the rebuke of her words uncomfortably; not that she had rebuked him directly, but the very fact of how sensible a question it was appalled him. She turned to continue up the path, and he hurried to catch her.

They paced in further silence for a time. I am sorry that my words to you yesterday should have given rise to doubts concerning the permanence of my affections. I did not consider how they might be received. I hope you know, though, that my reservations all concerned your situation, not your character or person.

Unequal Affections: A Pride and Prejudice Retelling

If I thought you inferior, I would not have offered for you. There are two things I would say in reply. First, you misspoke when you described me as in the first flush of passion. I believe I left that behind me some time ago. If I had acted then, you would have done well to caution me, but I was as doubtful as you as to whether my feelings would survive the dis-advantages of the match. It was my inability to relinquish any of the tender sentiments I held for you that eventually began to convince me of their permanence.

When I found you here in Kent, I could not resist seeing you again to test whether I had simply embellished your charms in my mind, but I found quite the opposite. You held me more in your thrall than ever. I will admit that I avoided you then because I was not yet ready to confess myself lost. As I explained last night, it was after seeing you in my aunt's house that I decided I could no longer deny what I felt. What I have long felt, and continue to feel. I do not expect it to change over time.

They were walking down the path side by side now; he looked straight forward with an earnest expression, his hands clasped behind his back.

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