WHY RELATIONSHIP FIRST WORKS – Why and How It Changes Everything
Contents:
Meeting the horse on his or her terms simply makes sense. We need to learn their language and communicate in ways they understand if we want to build a relationship with our horses. This book reaffirms my belief that just hanging out with my horse is as good as, or maybe even better than, groundwork or riding. Apr 07, Lorie rated it really liked it Shelves: This is so short it felt like cheating. But it was pure pleasure to read, due to his very down-to-earth writing style and home-grown humor.
My kind of people. I am researching horsemanship approaches, in preparation for fixing up the barn to welcome our own equine s. I haven't had a horse since I was 18, and a LOT has changed since then! I feel almost as if I'm starting from scratch.
Jan 29, Margaret Compo rated it it was amazing. Love your books Joe.
The only disappointing part of this book and all of Joe Camp's books is that they end. He makes you go from one emotion to the next. I have been a horse owner for all my life and I'm still learning thanks Joe. Good book for those who want to worh with their horse rather than just use them.
Carrie Schmidt rated it really liked it Aug 15, Mike Powers rated it really liked it Mar 01, Kathy Adkins rated it it was amazing Dec 11, Bryan Bradshaw rated it it was amazing Apr 02, Lornaross rated it it was amazing Apr 04, Ruella Yates rated it it was amazing Jan 17, Joan Johnson rated it really liked it May 21, With out them, we get lost and lose track of one another. Romantic sacrifice is idealized in our culture.
Offres spéciales et liens associés
But somehow we look at this story as romantic. Sometimes the only thing that can make a relationship successful is ending it at the appropriate time, before it becomes too damaging. And the willingness to do that allows us to establish the necessary boundaries to help ourselves and our partner grow together.
We have no reason to work on ourselves and grow because our partner has to be there no matter what. It invites stagnation and stagnation equals misery. Our cultural scripts for romance includes this sort of mental tyranny, where any mildly emotional or sexual thought not involving your partner amounts to high treason.
Once we get past the honeymoon phase of starry eyes and oxytocin, the novelty of our partner wears off a bit. And unfortunately, human sexuality is partially wired around novelty. Most of us, most of the time, choose to not act on those thoughts. And like waves, they pass through us and leave us with our partner very much the same way how they found us.
This triggers a lot of guilt in some people and a lot of irrational jealousy in others. And if someone flirts with us and we enjoy it, or if we catch ourselves having an occasional errant sexy-time fantasy, there must be something wrong with us or our relationship. When you suppress these feelings, you give them power over you, you let them dictate your behavior for you suppression rather than dictating your behavior for yourself feeling them and yet choosing not to do anything. People who suppress these urges are the ones who are likely to eventually succumb to them and give in and suddenly find themselves screwing the secretary in the broom closet and having no idea how they got there and come to deeply regret it about twenty-two seconds afterward.
People who suppress these urges are the ones who are likely to wake up one day disgruntled and frustrated with no conscious understanding of why, wondering where all of the days went and remember how in love we used to be? Looking at attractive people is enjoyable. Speaking to attractive people is enjoyable.
Thinking about attractive people is enjoyable. And when you dampen these impulses towards other people, you dampen them towards your partner as well. When I meet a beautiful woman now, I enjoy it, as any man would. I see in the attractive women everything my girlfriend has and most women lack. And while I appreciate the attention or even flirtation, the experience only strengthens my commitment. But real intimacy is not. When we commit to a person, we are not committing our thoughts, feelings or perceptions.
What we control are our actions. And what we commit to that special person are our actions.
Let everything else come and go, as it inevitably will. You see it all the time: We all have that friend who mysteriously ceased to exist as soon as they got into their relationship. When we fall in love we develop irrational beliefs and desires. The problem only arises when this actually happens. The problem with allowing your identity to be consumed by a romantic relationship is that as you change to be closer to the person you love, you cease to be the person they fell in love with in the first place.
The right person knows enough about your work, your goals, your dreams, and the kind of person you want to be to offer ideas you haven't considered. And when they do, you never feel like they're telling you what to do or meddling in your business You just appreciate that they care enough to want to help you.
You feel your partner listens more than they talk and they feel the same way about you.
Why Relationship First Works: Why and How It Changes Everything [Joe Camp, Kathleen Camp] on www.farmersmarketmusic.com *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Why Relationship First Works - Why and How It Changes Everything has 77 ratings and 5 reviews. Fran Severn said: Nicely written, but basically an infomer.
They ask the right questions, staying open-ended and allowing room for description and introspection. Asking the right questions, and then listening closely, shows they respect your thoughts, your opinions Your partner cares more about doing something with you than whatever you actually do. If you don't know there's a difference -- and you don't feel the same way about your significant other -- then you aren't with the right person.
Oftentimes, people in a relationship take a position and then proclaim, bluster, and totally disregard their partner's opinions or points of view. They know they're right -- and they want actually, they need their spouse to know it, too. The right person doesn't mind being proven wrong. They feel finding out what is right is a lot more important than being right. And if they feel your point of view is better, they're secure enough to back down graciously Asking for help instantly conveys respect.
Without actually saying it, you've said, "You know more than I do. What you've said is, "I respect you. More importantly, though, asking for help instantly conveys trust because it shows vulnerability.
Why Relationship First Works
When you ask for help, you admit to a weakness. That means what you've really said is, "I trust you. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength -- especially in your relationship. When one person makes a mistake -- especially a major mistake -- it's easy for their partner to forever view them through the lens of that mistake.
Why Relationship First Works - Why and How It Changes Everything by Joe Camp
Or to use that mistake as ammunition in disagreements or arguments. When you're with the right person, you see living proof that to forgive may be divine I have a need to be liked, probably to an unhealthy degree. For example, I don't like to write negative things about people, products, or companies. I work hard to find people who are smart, talented, successful, insightful If I write about someone, that means I like and respect them.
6 Healthy Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Toxic
In short, if I can't say anything good, I don't say anything. My wife doesn't expect me to be something I'm not. She just helps me be a better version of who I am. Great business teams win because their most talented members are willing to sacrifice to make others happy. Great teams are made up of employees who help each other, know their roles, set aside personal goals, and value team success over everything else.
The same is true for great relationships. The right person doesn't resent your success, doesn't begrudge your success, doesn't need to claim a share of the spotlight And that means they not only celebrate your success -- they help you achieve it. Your partner never makes you feel you should say something like, "I had to talk her into