When love is not enough
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It also makes you more sensitive. It should be replaced with: Your perfect partner is an obvious thing. You have to work on it today, rather than hoping it will be different tomorrow. Good relationships are consciously designed.
7 Reasons Why Love Is Not Enough For A Relationship
Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. One of them did not.
One of these men idealized love as the solution to all of his problems. One of these men was probably a narcissistic asshole. One of them was not.
In our culture, many of us idealize love. And because we idealize love, we overestimate it.
When Love Is Not Enough: 4 Tips for a Strong Relationship
As a result, our relationships pay a price. After all, if love solves everything, then why bother with all the other stuff — all of the hard stuff?
We understand that there are things more important in our lives and our relationships than simply being in love. And the success of our relationships hinges on these deeper and more important values. The problem with idealizing love is that it causes us to develop unrealistic expectations about what love actually is and what it can do for us. These unrealistic expectations then sabotage the very relationships we hold dear in the first place.
The Friendship Test
Allow me to illustrate:. Love does not equal compatibility.
Love is an emotional process; compatibility is a logical process. Forget that he was a born-again Christian alcoholic and she was an acid-dropping bisexual necrophiliac. It just felt right. Yes, you want to find someone who makes your heart flutter and your farts smell like cherry popsicles.
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Love does not solve your relationship problems. My first girlfriend and I were madly in love with each other. We also lived in different cities, had no money to see each other, had families who hated each other, and went through weekly bouts of meaningless drama and fighting. Our love made us feel like we were overcoming our issues, when on a practical level, absolutely nothing had changed. As you can imagine, none of our problems got resolved. The fights repeated themselves. The arguments got worse. Our inability to ever see each other hung around our necks like an albatross.
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Hours and hours talking on the phone with nothing actually said. Letting go is a painful thing.
Thankfully, we grow from pain, even more profoundly than we do from love. Break-ups are hard, but they are valuable. Sometimes we learn more about love — and more about ourselves — from loss than from the act of loving. Some people are going to love you no matter what you do and some people will never…. This website uses cookies to improve your experience.
Get wisdom in your inbox Join the Tiny Buddha list for daily or weekly blog posts, exclusive content, and promotions. We hoped that, with a new perspective and our mutual love and respect for each other, we could start working together and make the change we so desperately needed. Was this review helpful to you? Love does not necessarily solve your relationship problems Every relationships must have problems, and we have to learn how to cope with them. Erm I could make some tea, I, I could actually use someone to talk to tonight.
We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. By Robyn Reisch Last updated Nov 28, Does true love really conquer all? Love is a powerful thing, but can it conquer incompatibility? Can it overcome dreams and beliefs that are at odds with one another?