Magical Parenting Mantras: Powerful Insights to be Joyful Parents and Raise Inspired, Loving Children

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As parents, we are powerless. I tell my dtr I love her, and I will stand by her, but the rest is up to her. I have become sort of emotionally distanced over the years. A person cannot live being in that emotional turmoil all day, every day. The best thing you can do is get help yourself, become educated about addictions and ways the addict will manipulate you , and stay strong.

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If they do get help and get better, you can then be there for them. To the other Linda, We all feel that loss, that waste. My suggestion is to get to some Nar Anon or Ala non meetings. There you will be taught to live a happy functional life despite our drug or alcohol addicted loved ones. There we are taught not to create a crisis, but to also not prevent one from happening.

It is not a magic bullet, but it somehow makes our lives manageable. Please LInda, find the joy that does exist in your life again by going to the meetings. Stick to it and eventually you begin to see that life during and after drug abuse is possible. Linda, I understand how hard it is, I can tell you that I see a therapist every week and she helps me to let go a little bit of that fear.

I can only tell you that you can love them without enabling, look for a counselor to help you or a support group… and remember that this is their choice and only they can make this right… no matter how much you want it, it will never change them. Thank you everyone…I will do that. I know I need to do something, this is tearing me apart. I have lost all the joy I used to have for life..

Work, pay bills, work and sleep. First I go through the anger, switch to feeling sorry for myself, fear, with a little more time I convince myself that I am powerless and put it all back into perspective again. I have come to see this pattern over the years. In an odd sort of way it helps knowing what happens in what order. I am a very strong and determined woman, but sometimes it all gets the better of me. Hardest part is not to let ourselves be defined by what our children are doing. Others judge us that we must of been bad parents.

Our drug addicted children tell others we were bad parents so they can gain allies. My mother in law chooses to believe a drug addict over me or her own son. I have to keep myself together for the day my son surrenders to the horrible addiction. Someday your children may need you to help them kick this demon.

I want to share something with you all so you know this is not your fault! My mother is a drug addict and an alcoholic. I grew up with cocaine, pot, pills, and drinking. Do not let your children blame you for their decisions now. I have been married to an alcoholic, abuser, divorced, and found the love of my life.

We have been raising these boys together for 14 years in a loving, stable, drug and alcohol free home. My oldest son was a challenge even as a baby I knew there was something inside of him that scared me. We started counseling for him on and off since the 3rd grade. He started snorting pills when he was just 15 years old, then the pot, then the drinking, then the Xanax, then huffing, then it was anything and everything he got put in front of him from cold medicine to cocaine! He has an addictive behavior and he also struggles with low self esteem and finds those accepting him to be escaping in the drugs also.

Should I be upset that he says that? No because I fought my demons as a teenager never did any hard drugs and I chose therapy and making a healthy loving home for myself. I asked for help when I was younger because I wanted more in my life and there is so much more living our own children have to do. It is inside of them and the sooner you can separate love and guilt you will realize the demons inside of them are what they have to fight.

I need to remember that when I am feeling upset about the situation. I have lived a life without drugs or alcohol, just worked, took care of kids, helped my parents. I have a daughter who does drugs, steals, gives her body for drugs…sometimes I want to move and not give a forwarding address. It is too painful too care. My daughter says she is atteneding NA meetings, says she is seeing her shrink.. I do pray for that! In the meantime, I did something for me yesterday. I went to my own meeting, pulled out and dusted off my daily devontional.. Linda, I am so glad you did something for yourself!

I know this is an addiction blog-but look at our posts-we worry, fret, feel sick, etc. When your dtr tells you she is going to NA, seeing her psych-that is good, but I totally understand you not being too excited. The rest is just talk…hard to erase years, and years of lies and good intentions that are never realized. Well you are right…the back and forth is meaningless. My dtr signed up for a 10 day outpaient session…dealing with depression and drug addiction. Very excited about it but with the price of gas going to move into a new motel closer.

We have both been lied to and given so much money this last few years why would we not?? Is not going to go to her therapy.. All i could reply yesterday in as calm and a voice as i could…is honey know I love you. The therapy is for you, not for me. It is a way, a start for you to create a happy drug free life for you. Whew…lots lots more went on.. So yet another night of no sleep, did she go check into the motel or did she go use? Is she safe, dipped to 22 degrees last night with snow coming..

All the thoughts and concerns going thru my head right now. DTR totaled her car on Friday night. She caused the accident. Saturday spent most the afternoon with her yelling at me because i would not drop what i was doing and take her to the tow yard. She needed things out of car and NOW. Finally took her saturday evening.. Old food, wet clothes, trash and more trash! Got her things, back to motel and visited for a bit.

Then sunday night the phone calls start. Crying, screaming, pleading, begging…acting like a 3 yr old. Make some phone calls.. I am not running over there to hold you hand. So she ended up walking over the the place she starts therapy with monday am.. They and thank goodness, called the local PD and she was escorted back.

Last i heard from her, she was being admitted. She needs to accept the help, quit fighting it all. The drugs, the depression, the mental problems…all of it all i can do i pray, and try to keep my own sanity together. I know in my brain i am doing the right thing, know i was a good mom.. But in my heart???? Oh gosh Linda, reading your post I can almost literally feel the pain.

What I think when I read this is you know your daughter could be gone when you get up the next morning. When I say gone I mean dead. The reality of how close we are to saying goodbye is right there, all the time. When I read your post, I can feel that you are right in the middle of something you have no control over-you just get to feel all the pain, fear, and desperation.

You could go get her, take care of her for the night, but what would that accomplish? They are so good at using us, at pulling at our love for them to get what they want. I usually stay somewhat disassociated from my feelings, but there are times when I feel that kicked in the stomach feeling. Sometimes I get a sudden feeling that she is dead.

My dtr is sick I know. But I also know that she chose this path, she chooses to keep walking this path-unless she takes another path, life will continue this way, until something horrible happens. Yes LRC it is a daily thought in my mind.. Between the moods of Meth Addiction and the severe depression I wonder. No reason to get out of bed let alone live. The facility released her sunday at midnight told her to come to sessions on monday am. She never made it her Therapy on monday. Tuesday she said she went but was 6 mins late, they told her she must make a commitment to wanting the help to be on time.

Is this the truth.. I am still sticking to my tough love actions, right or wrong they are what I can live with I hope.. I will make plans with and follow up with those plans. But I will not drop everythng and run when she crys, I will not let her run my life and i will not be at her beck and call.

I will give her groceries,but never cash.

My heart is broken, my stomach in knots all the time. My husband is not speaking much to me right now, upset with the situation. But I keep plugging along doing what I can to survive and pray daily that she survives and comes out on the sunshine side of it all. But the thought never leaves me.. Seems like we are all struggling, my son just got put back into acute treatment to detox and now they are looking for a long term facility that will work with him on what he gets for social security disability.

Never a dull moment. And of course depression comes with not using meth, and will last a long, long time so that has to be dealt with too. Why go thru that agony every day? What a terrible thing to feel so alone…anyone you can reach out to? Linda, wow I also feel your pain. My daughter is 22 and has been going through the drug court program the past year for a heroin felony charge and has been in and out out of jail and rehab for the past 3 years.

She was recently sentenced to a Half Way house to stay there until there was a bed available at a rehab center for patients with no insurance and she is now AWOL from the Half Way house. They called me Monday looking for her, she was suppose to drive to her court review and never showed up. She did text me that night to tell me she was OK. I told her to turn herself in as they already had issued a warrent for her arrest, but I got no response back. I have been an enabler, I have always helped her when she asked mainly because I feel so bad for her living this terrible life.

But as this goes on, I learn and realize I am only doing her harm. You also need to try to remove yourself from the situations they cause by their drug use, the car wreck towing company fees, bank overdrafts fees, putting money on their jail card so they can make calls — what was I thinking?? My husband always says to prepare for the worst but hope for the best. God Bless all of you. Just one of the top jwh brands….. Saw Dtr on thursday night, thing seems to be okay. Okay…well i go over. She had cut up her arms very badly.. Said she just got so down and only thing that makes her feel better..

My husband of course gets upset with me when i get upset over my daughter…but.. But I am working very hard at putting that distance between me and the results of her.. I want to thank you.. Thank you all …. All of our stories are different, but in the end just the same. I doubt very seriously if any of us truly develop that heart of steel. These are our children and we love them no matter what. We would have to hate to have that heart of steel I think. All we can do is put our faith in our God as we know him.

The burden is too great to endure without that, at least for me. Easier said than done, but please try not to let this consume you. You still have a life to live despite the actions of your daughter. As for me, I give back to my community and country through charity work. Doing for others in need helps to fill the void I feel.

The void is loosing my self destructive son to drug abuse and being helpless to save him. Naranon and alanon meetings do help A LOT as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Linda-oh my gosh, the stories on this post are so awful. I am so sorry you are going thru this awful stuff.

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You never get a heart of steel, but you can learn about the addictions in a clinical manner-and keep some emotional distance at least most of the time. If you let down a little, the pain comes flooding at you and it is overwhelming-so closing that door, at least temporarily, is important to survive each day. This post has been helpful to me too-there are so many of us going thru the same things. Linda, I read your posts and I know exactly how you are feeling. I have two adult sons addicted to heroin.

One is in treatment for the second time. The good thing about this time is he called the rehab, waited the 9 weeks for state funding to come through, and checked himself in. I know the anguish of fearing that phone call that says your child has died. The thought of losing one or both of my children to drugs is sometimes so unbearable that I think it may drive me crazy. All I can do is pray that they will be protected until the day comes that they can stay sober.

I know how alone you feel because my sons are my husbands stepsons and he is not being supportive at all at this point, so I feel I am in this on my own. We just have to keep going, one day at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time. Sherry, I also have 2 sons with drug issues. One perscription drugs hillbilly heroin , last I heard he smokes the pills. He may be shooting them up by now. And the other meth. My meth addicted son I rarely hear from. The other keeps us going constantly. The Mommy I love you part always comes first because he wants something from me. The end of our conversations always end up with Mom I hate you, F U, name calling etc.

He spends so much of his energy trying to gain allies. The way he does that is to tell people incredibly horrible things about us. His latest ally is his 82 year old paternal grandmother. Now my mother in law believes I am the devil himself. After 35 years of being nothing but good to her and never ever lying to her in any way, she believes a drug addict over me. Granted, my son is so charming and convincing. Our oldest non drug using son is in disbelief that other family members would actually believe that we were bad parents.

Even if both my boys were clean tomorrow the scars left behind can never be repaired. We have any trust as well as respect we may of had in our extended family members. My 20 yr old son just got out of his second rehab since Nov. He is a heroin addict among other drugs. He seems to be ok now. He got a job and went to one NA meeting the day after he got out of rehab.

I have people telling me since he lives here I should make a rule that he go to meetings and others tell me it has to be his decision. Any advice would be appreciated. I wanted to weigh in here. And then consequences for breaking those limits. If he uses again, for example, he also loses the privilege of staying in your home. You can think of it like you are operating a halfway house, if you choose: You can drug test weekly. There is more to addiction recovery than 12 step. Some halfway houses or aftercare settings require daily attendance at meetings.

Marisa, My son went to meetings right after rehab as well. He said the same exact thing as your boy did, they are depressing. He also said he had all the tools from rehab that he needed and he could do it all without the meetings. Guess what……………very soon after he was right back to using again. So much for he knew what he needed to do. The support of a sponsor gives them that 1 on 1 that they so desperately need. In my opinion, living in your home, meetings should be the most important criteria for being able to live with you.

My son has always been very sweet and loving, even when he is using which makes it all the harder to say no. Now if I can do what I know I should. Again, thank you for your opinions. They back up what I know to be true in my heart. I had one of my sons drug counselors tell me that he could not think of one person who got sober or stayed sober at home — atleast in the beginning. Out of rehab they need to be in a halfway house. Of course there is relapse there too, but there is accountability there that will not exists at home.

They know that one person using puts everyone in the house in danger. My oldest that has been in rehab for 9 days now wants out now that he has finished detox. As far as meetings, some are better than others so they may have to look around. Also, most of the treatment centers have outreach meetings in many cities which are more like the small groups that they attended during treatment.

They can just talk in these meetings about whatever they need to talk about. Check with all the treatment centers in your state and see if they have an outreach program in your area. My sons like those better than NA, also check on Opiates Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous — there are many groups, they just need to find one they like.

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It is a heartbreaking sorry and I will pray for you and your family daily. If they try and get it to a liquid state to shoot, it turns into a sticky substance. This change was made to keep people from shooting it. This was the time when heroin starting becoming more popular. So, be cautious, mine told me it was oxy for a while, when it was actually heroin.

They thought oxy sounded better. I will pray for the best. My heart goes out to you. Marissa, Just my opinion here…you son needs to go to the meetings, but it is his decision. It is kind of like diabetes-you can put all the healthy choices on their plate, teach them about managing their blood sugars, but ultimately it is up to them to follow the treatment plan. Going to the meetings for your son is part of the treatment plan. He is making excuses to not go. So, she would rather destroy herself than believe in a higher power-ridiculous. It is an excuse. I would agree with Linda, set boundaries and stick to them.

I agree he needs to go to meetings. He became a born again christian when he was 15 yrs old, so I know he believes in God. He said he would. It is christian based. Thank you to everyone for the feedback. Please keep him in your prayers! LRC, You were so right about his decision and him doing the work. We went to what I thought was Celebrate Recovery the place I picked and it had changed to something different.

Much older people with completely different issues. I need to focus on setting those boundaries at home as Linda said and stick to them! Been reading the above from all of you…and like listening to myself. My daughter after the last 7 day rehab went to one NA meeting drepressing and to only one group thereapy session boring and refuses to go to one on one.

She is now moving out of the motel, just too expensive she says into a room with a freind of hers. They are so cool, and like family mom! But she will be just fine, she knows what she has to do to stay clean. I pray it will work, but doubt it. Sherry, I am going to encourage my son to look for other outreach programs. He has been clean for 40 days and is working now, something he has not done for more than a few days in the past. As you said about setting boundaries, I think I can but always give in way too easily. Hopefully AlAnon and prayer will help me to be stronger.

It is so hard when you love them so much! Marisa, I know they always say the addict has to do it for themselves,and maybe it is wrong, but I think I would look for the outreach programs myself. So happy to hear your son has been sober for 40 days. I know the programs work if the addict does the work. One of my sons was doing great about a year ago as long as he sayed in the program but as soon as he stopped working the program he went right back to using. I know he still is using.

He says not much but I think they probably about twice what they say they do. My other son checked himself into rehab on March 3 but they checked himself out after 10 days. He thinks he can do this on an outpatient basis. So tired of all of this, sure would love to get my life back. I guess I said all of that to say this.

Set the boundaries and stick to them. If you give in just a little it will be out of control in a heartbeat. We only have to make sure we do not love them to death. Linda We are all in the same situation it seems. Their fairy tales are our nightmares! Maybe when I feel stronger. So far he is doing well and drug free but I live in constant fear he will use again. It sounds like you have some self-awareness about what you can do and cannot do.

And that is healthy. Perhaps if you cannot set the limits, find a halfway house that can. I was in treatment for 30 days, and then stayed in a halfway house for 9 months. So, a halfway house really helped me. Sherry, My heart and prayers go out to you for having two children to deal with. I will be looking for programs to try. He will go if I ask him to, just because he feels bad for what he has put us through.

He really feels he can do it on his own but I know he needs help. The first sign of trouble I will have to. I would also love to get my life back! My cousin has struggled through recovery. I finally found Freedom Farm Ministries and he seems to really enjoy it. He hasnt been there long, but seems really excited to be there. It is christian based and they keep them busy in the community it is a year long program and I found a church that would help us with the money for it.

They also help them find jobs later to pay for it. Hope this helps some of you. I did alot of leg work to find help but the Lord helped me in a very short time. I am still searching for the same answers that all of you are. Even though my son is gone, I will not allow his death to be in vain, I will carry on to support others who are going through what we endured for 12 years.

He returned to a seemingly normal life of work, friends, etc…until the bottom dropped out at age 28 when he lost his job. HIs addiction spiraled out of control until he nearly died of a heroin overdose. He embraced rehab and was doing very, very well. We will never know why after 6 months of sobriety he chose to use heroin while in rehab and die alone in his room of a massive overdose. My prayer for each and every one of you is that you never have to experience this side of addiction. Keep fighting the fight, not just for the addict in your family but for yourselves.

Find comfort and surround yourself with those you love, who you can draw strength from. God Bless you all. Mary, I am so, so sorry. I think this is all of our worst fears realized, I know it is my worst fear. How do you cope? How to you make sense of this? What do you do to heal? I know unless something changes, this will be the outcome for my dtr. People say to stay hopeful, and I do have hope, just enough to keep me from falling apart.

I am so angry at times for the things she does that go against everything she was taught as a child like stealing, shoplifting, etc. Thank you for sharing your story, I have so many questions for you. My wish for you is to be able to find joy again, despite this horrible tragedy. I will keep you in prayer. Jail is the only possible help an heroin addict has. Mandatory detox and it is not pleasant. The inside is a very good way to hit rock bottom………. Mary, I am so sorry to hear of the death of you Son!

Thank you for your prayers and support, and I also pray for you!

I ran into a friend I have not seen in 2 years.. Her son while recovering from a gunshot in Iraq, became addicted to oxycontin. I then told her of my daughter and her meth addiction. Like on here, stories are all different, and yet the same! So much can happen in such a short time.. My heart goes out to her, to each and everyone of you on the blog.. I thank you, and I pray daily for you!

My heart breaks for you. I think all of us wonder ever day if this is going to be the day we get that worst of all news. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for your support of other parents that are coping with life with addicts. May God through His unending mercies grant you a peace that passes understanding and fill your life with people to hold you up and bring you comfort.

I will pray for us all today. Oh Mary, we can imagine your pain, but cannot truly understand. My deepest sympathies for you and your family. We just need to trust in God and be at peace with that. What else can we do? Having 2 sons with addictions gives me even greater chances that I will someday receive that horrible call or open the door to the same tragedy as you have.

What Linda just wrote is so true. I will never give up hope that my son can beat this, but I am not turning a blind eye either! I just hope there is still hope out there…. I want to hear a good story.. I have read through all of the stories on this page and my heart breaks for everyone. In our family we have lost two young men and one young lady to the drugs they chose. They all passed away wthin a year, so it has been hard on everyone in the family.

All six of the parents did everything they could to help their children, but it all came down to the choices the adult children chose. My own son started using meth in his teens. He put us through so much worry, struggle, cost us lots of money for attorneys, bail, commisary because he ended up going to prison a couple of times. At 23 he was released from prison and moved back home. He applied for job after job but was turned down due to his felony record. We finally put him into business for himself and did pretty well for almost 7 years.

He would drink a little, but no drugs. Then he hired a meth addict, and the man offered him some. One time and he was totally hooked. He became violent, started stealing from us, and we kicked him out of our home. From there the drug use got worse, and he even walked away from his business. Not sure what to do next, we were through enabling him, we went to a county sponsored program that was suppose to court order an adult into at least a diagnosis.

I filled out the forms to get the court order and put down that at one time he had high blood pressure. I started to argue with her because my son really needed some real help. She told me she was going to speak with her supervisor and came back with a list of 9 hospitals. She said I had to call the hospitals and if I could find a room they would help. They would not take him through the emergency room. I believe one of the big problems is we, the parents of drug addicts, do not receive any help from our government communities.

My son was just arrested for drug possession of less than 1 gram of a controlled substance. I love my son so much, and I am helpless. The panic and saddness is more than I can handle. I do not understand why our court system does not see these addicts as people who need help, but think caging them like animals in gang infested prisons is the answer. I pray all of you find peace in your situation. It is not your fault they are on drugs, it is their own choice.

It is my hope that somehow they will develope a program for the addicts, and not just lock them away like animals. He sounds like he has experience from the other side of our stories. Then it all start again, the lying, the stealing…putting themselves and sometimes you in danger. So Jack, I am glad you posted.

She is responsible for her addiction, just as I am responsible for how I react to it. We love them into the grave. Just brings on the flood of memories long past! I am working today, just to keep myself busy. Remembering my beautiful daughter…as a toddler, a young girl and even a teenager. Remembering her as she was. I just finished Beautiful Boy, heart wrenching book and as with all the stories i hearand have read so close to home.

I saw a counselor finally last week.. Afraid not of being judged, not of telling this story, but of cracking the very very thin shell that keeps me together.. I know with my intellegince I need to let it out, to talk to someone.. I will be starting attending the local Alalon meetings on Thursday nights, a dear friend and parent of a addict is going with me. Weds i start a belly dancing class.. I know i need to start taking care of myself…to stop waking each hour to check my phone and wonder how my daughter is..

Today I know she is alive, as she filed her unemployment claim which gives me a little peace. So…this is the week of those changes…most likely 2 steps forward and 1 back is what i truly expect. LIke with all of us, it is a long hard battle. So on this Easter Day with all the memories flooding back I am doing all I can to remember this, and this is the hardest thing for me to remember.. I cannot cure it, I cannot control it and most of all I did not cause it..

God Bless to all, and I am thinking of each of you today. Easter was difficult for me as well. Outside on a beautiful spring day watching our little grandson hunt for eggs brought back so many memories of Easter egg hunts done so long ago with our 3 sons in this very same place, So cute, full of life, and excited. This year only 1 son was here.

I did feel some pleasure watching my son with his son. Generally my youngest son at least calls to yell at me on holidays. Nothing this this holiday. I thought about it for a second and said yes. Everyday is hard, holidays are torture.

I know the feeling, but never knew how to put it in words. Does anyone else feel like they are mourning? The feelings are exactly the same as if someone has died. Linda, May God bless you also! Your decision to go to AlAnon is very good. It will help you more than you can imagine.

Take care of yourself and let God take care of your daughter. He will if we turn it over completly to Him. You are so right. Holidays are very difficult. I thought about all of you that day and said a prayer that everyone was safe and one day soon would be healed of this disease of addiction. The thin shell analogy is also so true.. I have often thought that and that we are all holding on by a very fine thread and at any moment something could come along and snap that thread. Afraid of snapping that thread and falling apart.

I do think we are all in mourning. We are mourning the loss of all the hopes and dreams of what we had for our children. We are mourning the loss of the life we wanted them to have, we are mourning the loss of the child that is missing right now. I think we are also mourning the loss of our own life. I know I feel as though my life has been stolen from me. This is not the life I ever thought I would have. Thank you for writing this. I needed to read it.

My son is now 20, and has been troubled for many years. I have friends with younger children who dont understand why I made the choices I made, so I always feel that much worse of a parent, and am always going over what I did wrong. I never allowed the behavior in my home, and had him sent away as a teen for drugs and destructive behavior, — but that was harder on me then him I believe.

He went to a boarding school for teens with behavioral problems, which helped both of us at the time. When he came back, as soon as he turned 18 he ran away to live with his dad. He did graduate high school, with my help and encouragement. But since has done little. He swears he will always smoke pot because it is the only thing that makes him feel better, but then falls into deep depressions. His dad died in his sleep a few months ago at the age of He had lived a life of drugs, fighting and excess drinking. My son remained at that residence, because he didnt want to stop smoking pot to move back home with me.

My friends dont understand how I could make that choice. As if it is not hard enough, they try to get me to see that I should let him back home, but they dont understand how awful it is when he is there. Which makes me question every decision I have made even more.

Which makes me go over and over in my head — where did I go wrong? And what is wrong with me that I wont let him back home like this? Yesterday I was in the middle of oral surgery at the dentist, and I was pulled out of my chair by the secretary at the dentist office. My husband told me to get to the local hospital ASAP. He asked if I could drive. I said I could if he just didnt tell me what was going on. I knew just from what hospital he told me to go to something happened to my son. So I drove not knowing if he was alive or dead. He was alive, thank God.

He had ingested over 30 pills, and was found in the basement of the home where he is staying unresponsive. I dont know what to do anymore. How do you let go?

I cant, and I dont think that is the right answer. So I looked on the internet and found your words, and this is exactly what I needed to read, need to hear. I am so happy that you shared this with me, and I know it will help not only me but many others as it appears to have. Sherry and everyone , We are definitely mourning. I am so happy she is in jail. Since she got out of jail in Feb she has just been doing lots of drugs meth, alcohol, etc. So she got caught shoplifting, was found to be driving a stolen car with stolen items in it.

It is frustrating they keep letting her out. Not to people like us. You mentioned you are afraid of counseling-I definitely recommend you find a good counselor and go, it can be a tremendous help.

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It would be good to read. Just have to let it go and give it to God. Seems like everyone has an opinion and everyone is so quick to point the finger at us as parents. Although, when we take control of our emotions and give it all up to God we can have a happy and productive life despite the nightmare that looms in the background. God gave everyone free will and he will not take it away.

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Our children must exercise their free will to rid themselves of this demon just as they exercised their free will to get in this mess in the 1st place. Unfortunately, no one can do it for them. How true your words are! It is a big step to give it all to God, but the best one you can take. God Bless you and everyone going through this nightmare. Just want to say……I am so grateful for this blog, a place where we can all go to express our feelings, our condolences and give support to those who are experiencing the living hell that no one other than the loved one of an addict can truly understand.

Michelle, I hear you! How about some stories of encouragement! He is now 2 years clean, has recently begun to share his story with others in hopes to provide light and encouragement to those who are suffering from addiction. I pray everyday that our loved ones can realize a life free from this horrible disease. Bless you all, be well. I feel somewhat better that I found this blog…..

It seens that all around us have children who are doing well and succeeding and it just reinforces my anguish…. I could go on and on. My point is my daughter in law is the most wonderful young woman, mother, and wife. She was smart enough to know that she did not want to be like her parents. She took the bull by the horns and took control of her own life and became a beautiful woman inside and out.

If my daughter in law grew up to be like her parents she would at least have an excuse. I say, fooey on that. Although, my addicted sons still blame me. None of us are perfect, but my sons never endured anything earth shattering other than me giving the normal, run of the mill discipline and setting boundaries. Pam, please rise above it all and see it for what it really is. This is not your fault. Do not take responsibility for their actions. This is the hand we were dealt. As terrible as it is we NEED to make choices as well. Giving it over to God will take the weight of the world off your shoulders.

Mary, thank you for that wonderful story. Stories like that give us all hope that someday our nightmares may be over. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you ladies. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I just finished reading through all of these posts, and am so happy I took the time to. Sadly, I no longer feel alone. He then had a change of attitude and decided not to participate. He has since decided he is fine. I know many of you have much stronger drugs, but he is very depressed — has always had a chemical imbalance has always self medicated with pills and pot, which makes him feel worse, so he self medicates more… When he did live at home, I wound up crying every night, and my husband, his step father, has already said no matter what he is never allowed back.

He would fight, scream, destroy things. All the same things you all have been through I am sure. And yes he is a sweet kid also — and its so hard to not see him as a child still. So in your stories I recognized so much — the cursing at the end of the conversation if it doesnt go his way, the worry, the phone calls. I thought for sure after being brought back to life it would be a wake up call for him. I do still pay for his phone because I want to know he is alive, but I dont know if thats worse because I get all those calls, I need help, dont you love me, I dont want to live anymore, my life is your fault.

The good news for all of you? It is like eggshells that you try not to crack, I totally relate to that. If I yell and tell him to grow up, no one wants to go to work everyday, life is tough — is that going to be the one thing that sets him over the edge? Will that be what kills him? Back by popular demand!! Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness — what do you need? What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards??? These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice. Get yours now — good while supplies last!! First — continues thanks for all of the feedback around the last solo show, where I shared about navigating my daughters mental health issues.

It means the world to me to know that the content of the show is landing for you, and making a difference in your life! When people are harassed or demeaned, he intervenes. He holds his own opinion, but still listens to others. Be open, own your mistakes, encourage them when you see life skills on display. Masterminds and Wingmen by Rosalind Wiseman.

Jennifer is the mother of four, has her masters in counseling psychology with 30 years of experience guiding children and adults on their relationship journeys. Well, in terms of this process of discovering channeling, it means to go forward with joy and courage, not guilt. I want to go right now! I want to leave! So, meet it with joyful courage. My experience, looking back I was afraid to call it what it was because it made it true. I am going to get really vulnerable and highlight something that I see showing up because of the dynamics that are currently alive in my family.

My experience with needing approval — give me the gold star, tell me how great I am. My experience of energy work in the context of my relationship with Rowan. Life happens for us, so…. This is an experience that is happening for me? Check your expectations at the door, accept that this is a part of your parenting story. I say this to you and to myself. We will get to the other side of this, my friends. Thank you to all of you parents of teens, those of you who are personal friends who have been brave enough to be in conversation with me, clients, listeners — you are not alone.

We are discussing creating juicy lives for ourselves. This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast. So many people and programs…. Where do you feel seen? You are the parent your child picked, not because you are perfect, but because you are you. Parenting is an opportunity to heal old wounds, to mend relationships, and grow as an individual, if you let it be.

Participants will gain confidence and clarity, as well as practical tools for navigating the parenting journey with love, connection and presence through deepening their understanding of Positive Discipline. The power and momentum of learning inside of a like-minded community, a safe space where you can stretch, share authentically, and show up vulnerably is hard to quantify.

The Joyful Courage Academy was created to be that place for you. It is a deep dive into the work of becoming ever more conscious and intentional as you bump up against the challenges of raising your kids. Sign up now — www. She is a JAI Institute for Parenting certified parenting coach who works with moms of preteens and teenagers.

She is the mother of 5 kids ages She writes about conscious parenting, provides one on one coaching and workshops to help support moms towards intentional parenting. We are discussing detaching from the outcome. Joyful Courage means to me enthusiastically embracing and supporting the journey of our sons and daughters that have come into the world to live out their journey. Supporting and encouraging them with enthusiasm.

Tweens and Smart Phones. Many of us become mothers and we get caught tending needs of our family, or homes and our community, and struggle to find ways to move our personal growth and wellbeing up the priority list. This weekend retreat will allow you the opportunity to explore self-care rituals that will help you reset and feel renewed, and give you nurturing tools you can incorporate into your daily life far beyond our time together — so that you can feel more ease, peace, connection and joy in the every day. Woohoo — how is YOUR back to school? This episode acknowledges what we are all going through as we support our kids and ourselves in coming back to a back to school routine.

I know, it is hard to shake off the summer. But that is what is happening. I share about my own experience with sending off two kids to two very different school settings, and what is coming up for me as they navigate the transition. I mention tools and strategies for finding peace and flow, or at least dull the roar of making this shift, and I am so happy you are listening in!! Her mission is to crack women open to their deep potential.

With wit and wisdom, Heather inspires a global community of women to take back control of their lives and evolve how they want to lead, work, play and parent. We are discussing mindful meditation. Being yourself, simply put. This is such a fun and transformational 10 day program — and it is FREE!! We start tomorrow so get ON IT and register now!!! I would love LOVE to have you in the membership.

He is also the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute which focuses on the development of Mindsight, teaches insight, empathy and integration in individuals, families and communities. Siegel has published extensively for the professional and lay audiences. We are discussing his new book: The Science and Practice of Presence.

Joyful Courage, to me, means having the presence of mind to dive into this receptive state of awareness, this hub of the wheel, to tap into the power of being connected with whatever arises inside of you, this kind of "bring it on" attitude, that's the courage. And the joy that arises as you liberate yourself from what a lot of us get imprisoned by which is "I have to control everything" instead, with presence, you let things emerge within you and then you let integration, connecting with your child, for example, in ways that are filled with love and connection that is honoring who your child is, honoring yourself too, but then linking together with compassionate, close relationships.

That's what I think joyful courage and courageous joy is all about. She is a mom, yoga teacher, self-care advocate, Air Force spouse and Star Trek nerd. She is passionate about working with busy moms and empowering them to take better care of themselves so they can re-write the story of what healthy motherhood feels like. She loves to make yoga fun and accessible for everyone she works with. Naomi is passionate about helping people find space for their daily yoga practice.

We are discussing yoga, self care and parenting. Part of the reason that I was so jazzed to be featured on this podcast is I love the idea of Joyful Courage. When I think about Joyful Courage, there's a part of me that's actually reminded of a dear friend of mine who died, not to get all dark and sad but she loved climbing mountains.

She was 6 feet tall and basically all Amazon woman, and she would just take on everything with this zest for life, you know, in everything that she did, whether it was climbing mountains or trying to raise a puppy or doing stream samples, checking water, it was just with this absolute utter joy but she was also, she would take on these challenges with this, "Life is meant to be lived. That things are going to be hard, things are going to be challenging, but damn it, I'm going to climb that mountain because if I didn't, how would I feel? If I didn't what would my life really feel like to me?

And so that's the thing that I try to teach my kids and it's really challenging sometimes to encourage them to climb mountains, my kids are five and not yet two, but I want to share with them, because my five year old has that in her, she has that unquenchable thirst for life and she is so joyful and I think of her when I think of Joyful Courage. I think of this idea that life is meant to be lived and it is not easy and there are challenges but those mountains are meant to be climbed, no matter what. And so I try to impart that to my kids even in the really mundane moments when we are sitting at home and watching tv instead of outside climbing a mountain but it's like, "What do you want to do?

How do you want to live your life? Transform Chaos To Calm Program. She is a child and adolescent psychotherapist specializing in anxiety disorders and stress and learning differences and author. She runs empowerment groups for girls. We are discussing girls and their relationships. To me, it just means being joyful about taking great leaps. It's okay wherever you land.

Know that you're okay wherever you land and you can always make adjustments and give it another shot. Come to Baltimore in July 28th!! More info can be found at www. Get in touch with me! Fill the room with the mamas you love and enjoy a say of love and learning. Email Casey at casey joyfulcourage. My guest today is Danielle Slaughter. Danielle is an Academic turned mommy.

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