Jack And The Beanstalk - Adult Version (Lubricans Twisted Fairy Tales and Naughty Nursery Rhymes)

---

The Beauty and the Beast? The Beast likes his transformation, whereas the Beauty is so much more monstrous than he is. Don't even ask about what he did to Snow White.

What is Kobo Super Points?

In Beauty by Sheri S. Tepper , based on the Sleeping Beauty fairy tale, Beauty tricks her half sister into being pricked by the magical spindle. Once escaping the sleeping curse, Beauty travels through different eras in history and unwittingly causes other fairy tales to happen. The book's version of Snow White is told almost "straight"— except for the character motivation. The prince is clearly insane, while Snow White is essentially brain-dead: The Enchanted Forest Chronicles is full of these.

The first book, for example, starts with a princess running away from home in order to work for a dragon. The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig , where the wolves are the ones constructing houses, and the pig the one knocking them down. It's a case of Sequel Escalation as the first house is made of bricks, the second of concrete, and the third of barbed wire, steel plates, and heavy metal padlocks. Tanith Lee's Red as Blood: Tales from the Sisters Grimmer is a collection of fairy tale retellings, most of them much darker, one with a science fiction twist.

Hines ' The Stepsister Scheme Cinderella's stepsisters kidnap her Prince and she, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White who are nothing like one would expect have to go save him. In The Golden Transcedence , Pandora explains her own name: Which means that he didn't kill her and for in-universe Squick didn't rape her corpse. The Ice Dragon , a short story by George R.

Martin , is an odd example in that it isn't a retelling of an existing fairy tale, nor do the events of it much resemble a fairy tale. Nevertheless it has the feel of one, in a way that is quite difficult to explain. Like the story of Falia Flowers, a bastard girl whose family forced her to do chores Cersei Lannister also has quite a lot in common with Snow White's stepmother, and gets back at her "Snow White" in a deeply disturbing way. Since it's by the author of Ella Enchanted , Fairest also falls under this. The Snow White character is actually ugly or at least Hollywood Homely , and her singing, while popular at first, eventually forces her to flee the kingdom because the townspeople think it makes her an inhuman seductress.

She does wind up living with dwarves or rather, gnomes , and it turns out she's probably descended from gnomes herself. The Wicked Queen is still a bit of a Yandere , but she and Snow White are friends first, and it turns out she was mostly being manipulated by the magic mirror all along. And the story is actually set in a country where people sing most of the time. Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber is a collection of short fantasy stories for adults based on reinterpreting and subverting common fairytale themes - often based on the moral and adult subtext of the original itself, in order to pick apart their gender stereotypes and social ideas.

Enter a Little Red Riding Hood who ends up "knowing" the wolf after he's killed her grandmother; a Snow White who is created as a product of the father's desires, dies at the prick of a rose's thorn and is subsequently deflowered by him; a Beauty who finds that she is far more comfortable becoming a Beast rather than for her Beast to become a human For the intrigued, it can be found online here: Just to start, the king knows better than to throw a christening party that will inevitably leave one fairy out and piss her off, but it doesn't stop the princess from being cursed to be bald.

Fortunately, the king has a spare wish from his fairy godmother, but the princess's careless wish for golden hair that will grow faster the more it's cut leads to predictable problems, and it takes several attempts and the logic of a wise prince to make her hair stop growing without making her grow into a giant It Makes Sense in Context ; read the online tale for the full story!

Twice Upon a Time re-tells " Rumpelstiltskin " from the point-of view of the girl's father, who gets into tax-trouble, and all the " Prince Charming gets the girl" stories from the point of view of the prince. Hansel and Gretel have a different ending, they get adopted by Rumpelstiltskin and his wife. Several of James Thurber 's Fables for Our Time start out as normal fairy tales or Aesop's Fables , but then veer into more cynical or absurdist territory. His version of Little Red Riding Hood , for instance, ends when the little girl, recognizing that "even in a nightcap a wolf does not look like your grandmother any more than the Metro Goldwyn lion looks like Calvin Coolidge," produces a handgun and shoots the wolf dead.

It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be. Why did Rumpelstiltskin agree to spin straw into gold for a ridiculously small payment for the first two days? Wouldn't marriage to a king who threatened to kill you if you didn't make enough gold for him be a tad problematic? The twists vary with each retelling: In Kate DiCamillo 's The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane , a character tells a story where the princess, as an animal, ends up killed and stewed because she was unloving. The novel Snow White by Daniel Barthelme is an all but unrecognizable Setting Update of the fairy tale written in a stream-of-consciousness sort of style designed to irritate the reader.

Cinder by Marissa Meyer is a retelling of Cinderella in the Crapsaccharine World of the distant future. In this retelling, Prince Kai is actually charming as opposed to being Prince Charmless like in many others.

Deceived is a loose retelling of "Cinderella" that not only turns the "Cinderella" male but depicts the prince as a lazy, spoiled womanizer who the Cinderella most definitely does not fall in Love at First Sight with and attends the Masquerade Ball solely to seduce him and humiliate him afterward. In Jessica Day George's Princess of Glass , Cinderella is a Fallen Princess and Spoiled Brat desperate to regain her former wealth and status, her fairy godmother an evil witch who cons her into making a Deal with the Devil , and the true heroine one of the princesses from the " The Twelve Dancing Princesses " tale who's grown to hate dancing after her traumatic experience from that tale but finds herself forced to do so to save the man she loves.

Baker 's The Wide-Awake Princess. Perhaps most obvious in that the old woman who asks Annie for food neither blesses nor curses her; she gets cursed herself for not appreciating what Annie hands over. In Tom Holt 's Snow White and the Seven Samurai , a cyberspace fairy-tale land is literally fractured by three mischievous kids who mess with the Wicked Queen's magic mirror, resulting in such chaos as the Three Little Pigs building a heavily-armed concrete bunker, which turns out to be useless when the Big Bad Wolf turns into a frog.

The Paper Bag Princess reverses the "hero rescues girl" story. After a dragon steals Prince Ronald, Princess Elizabeth who is forced to wear a paper bag because the dragon destroyed all her clothes sets out to save him. She does by appealing to the dragon's vanity, challenging it to fly around the world twice, which tires it out and lets her sneak past it. However, Ronald turns out to be an Ungrateful Bastard who tells her to return when she looks more like a princess.

As such, she decides she's better off without him. Sleeping Ugly by Jane Yolen deconstructs the fairy tale by having the prince kiss an unattractive girl first as practice before waking up the beautiful but Alpha Bitch -y princess, only for him to fall in love with the plain girl based on her kind personality. Rump is the story wherein Rumpelstiltskin's mother died before naming him in a world where names have power and so goes only by Rump and he is cursed with his Gold Spinning power to be forced to accept any payment offered for the task.

He didn't even ask for the baby. The miller's daughter just assumed. The narration explains that Bilbo wrote the song, but "only a few words of it are now, as a rule, remembered. Because this kind of deadpan humour is a little unusual for The Lord of the Rings , and because of Tokien's scholarly reputation, some readers are left confused as to which is the true original version.

The School for Good and Evil took place in a world where children of Good and Evil are studying for 3 years before going on their fairy tail. One of main girl's 3 roommates is a descendant from Gaston Beauty and the Beast. Babette Cole's Prince Cinders Gender Flips Cinderella and makes Cinders a spotty skinny fellow, who is turned into a swimsuit-clad gorilla by an Inept Mage of a fairy before losing his trousers at the royal disco. Fairy Tale sketch, featured in one of their German TV specials and on an album.

Ya de buckety, rum ting fadoo Their version of " Little Red Riding Hood " The girl looks nasty and eats the food for her Grandma on her way. The vicious bad wolf looks as the most adorable thing ever. And so on and so forth. A famous episode of The Monkees , "Fairy Tale", plays with this trope with many a humorous twist, including Michael Nesmith in drag , playing a hilariously obnoxious princess. The miniseries The 10th Kingdom places a couple of contemporary New Yorkers into a world where all the fairy tales took place centuries before, and plays fast and loose with fairy tale tropes.

An interesting variation in that the New Yorkers are familiar with the modern versions, but it's the darker Grimm versions that actually happened in this universe. This leads to natives having to explain the differences to them and the audience. The final episode of Tales from the Crypt retold " The Three Little Pigs " as a bloody tale where the wolf messily eats the first two pigs, then frames the third for the murder, resulting in a trial in a Kangaroo Court. The fairy tales in Once Upon a Time are quite fractured. For example, Snow White was a forest bandit who met Prince Charming by robbing his carriage, Jiminy Cricket was a man turned into a cricket to serve as Geppetto's guide, Cinderella made a Deal with the Devil to go to her ball, and Little Red Riding Hood is unknowingly a werewolf that terrorizes her village on full moons.

The chief point of fracture seems to be Rumpelstiltskin , who in this continuity is a major Bad Samaritan and who has so far appeared in nearly every fairy tale portrayed to change either its backstory or its ending, to the point where he ends up becoming the Beast and the Crocodile.

Pretty much the premise of Grimm. Though this show utilises some of the lesser known Grimms Fairy Tales, in contrast to Once Upon A Time which goes for the more famous ones. The Charmed episode "Happily Ever After" uses this trope. Fairy tales are actually re-tellings of ancient battles between Good and Evil - and a Wicked Witch seeks to use them to destroy the Charmed Ones.

Paige eats Snow White's poisoned apple, Phoebe is turned into a pumpkin by putting on Cinderella's glass slippers and Piper is nearly eaten by a shape-shifting wolf. SCTV - on the kiddie show "Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town", guest G. Gordon Liddy Dave Thomas plays Goldilocks in a little story that focuses on the use of firearms when breaking into a strange house. Then, when he builds it out of bricks like he's supposed to, he doesn't use mortar and the wolf blows the house away.

Luckily, the three pigs then blow the wolf away. The second part, "for the tired businessman," has the orphaned girls go from Rags to Riches and move to New York. Also features other random shenanigans often associated with fairy tales like playing cards, giant fauna, wild animals willing to listen to a cello performance, gothic lolita clothing which is a standard for Kanon, anyway and ticking clocks.

Paramore 's song Brick by Boring Brick is about a naive little girl who lives in a fairy tale-and the narrator's trying to pull her out into the real world.

There's a song by Green Jelly called "Three Little Pigs", a twisted, modern version of the story about the pigs taking safety in shelters while trying to protect themselves from The Big Bad Wolf Also, the music video for the song is a claymation video, with a scene of the band with puppets for a few seconds. The Oingo Boingo song "Cinderella Undercover": The cartoon animals on Old McDonald's farm. Kermit's Sesame Street News Flashes tended to be these. True Love's Kiss makes Prince Charming fall asleep.

Prince Charming breaks Cinderella's glass slipper. The glass slipper fits Kermit. Rapunzel "lets down her hair" by letting it fall off her head. Little Miss Muffet sits on a water bed, eats granola and, unlike Kermit, isn't scared of spiders. The king's horses and cow and men do put Humpty Dumpty together again, then Kermit slaps him on the back and he falls back off the wall.

The educational special The Muppets on Puppets includes a skit where Rowlf attempts to narrate a fairy tale for the other Muppets to act out, but the story keeps getting changed on him. Cinderella's stepmother sends her to take a basket of goodies to her granny, and in the middle of the wood she meets Hansel, who is taking Gretel the cow to market Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine's musical Into the Woods combines several well-known fairy tales, initially playing them straight but then gradually deconstructing them.

The musical Once Upon a Mattress is a cheeky retelling of " The Princess and the Pea " with a mother-henpecked prince, a song based around the princess originally Carol Burnett!

Eurydice has a lover, Aristaeus, who turns out to be the god of the underworld who sees to it that she dies of a snakebite so she can be with him forever. However, each of them has a favorite version of the story, and they all try to make the reenactment end to match their version. This all comes to a head with the song "The Endings," which basically amounts to each of the Gypsies rapidly and forcefully directing the others to reenact their preferred ending, while the others protest that the ending doesn't make sense. By the end of it, "all" of the characters except Blue Boy have been killed in one ending or another.

Ever After High has this as its premise. It stars the children of famous fairy tale characters who are destined to follow in their parents' footsteps In American McGee's Grimm , you play an ugly little dwarf who goes around messing up "cutesy" fairy tales, making them dark and violent again. It's all for the Rule of Funny of course. Although technically Alice's Adventures in Wonderland isn't a fairytale, American McGee's Alice shows Wonderland as twisted and violent after Alice's parents die in a fire and she's sent to a mental institution. It's hard to tell in King's Quest if the writers are going to play their fairy tale tropes straight or veer into one of these.

Little Red fighting a zombie apocalypse is only a fraction of how fractured it is. Also dealing with Little Red Riding Hood is The Path , an indie game dealing with six different girls each named after shades of red. Each one of them deals with their individual "Wolf" in the most horrifying of ways.

Emily Short has written a number of Interactive Fiction games that fit this trope: Alabaster bills itself as a "fractured fairy tale" of Snow White.

Twisted Fairy Tales, Naughty Nursery Rhymes, and Erotic Fables by Lubrican

Not only does Alabaster follow in Neil Gaiman 's footsteps of heavily implying Snow White to be a vampire or something else not quite human, but it has a Perspective Flip of the huntsman being the PC and having more than one dark secret of his own. Snow White is possessed by Lilith, Queen is insane witch, Mirror houses wicked ghost, and you're actually the missing King who voluntarily blood-sundered yourself in a infernal bargain called blood-sundering to atone for the terrible war you brought upon your kingdom at the cost of losing all memories about your former life.

You can undo this blood-sundering in one ending. Whole game is centered around demonical ''contracts'' and long spanning revenge that started with first king defeating demon Mephistopheles and taking his pen he Devil used to create aforementioned contracts. This however turned to be trick as it corrupted royal family, who used pen to bind demons and people to serve them in life and death. After that, one of future kings married Devil's daughter Lucrezia, who brought new magics and binding ways from Medici-Credenza.

Last king-Beast-used to kidnap girls and force them to serve him. Last before Beauty, Yvette, turned out to be Lucrezia's great-great-granddaughter. Beast stole her away and got rid of her marriage contract. Her father was as result, financially destroyed. She became pregnant,feared that child will be monster too, and using her magic girdle, transformed king into Beast before taking her own life.

Glass retells " Cinderella ".

The story gives Cinderella a secret that causes the Prince to have her executed in one ending, and even the happy ending is quite atypical in its treatment of the Prince and Cinderella's relationship. Additionally, all plot happens in one room, and you play pet parrot that is trying to match up classic pair. Cinderella is actually natural enchantress, but lives in kingdom where most people are overly religious , believing magical powers to be result of compact with demons despite this being untrue.

Prince couldn't recognise her because of enchantment which is restored when she puts on slipper. Her family regards her with mixture of fear, repulsion and pity, hiding her because they're both ashamed and wish to protect her-stepmother is even implied to experience crisis of faith. Depending on your decision, stepmother either switches slippers and Prince marry stepsister, realizes ruse and leaves, executes Cinderella or destroys slipper and evidence of her magic, eventually finding reason to court her and marry.

The Sims Medieval has the quest "Legend of the Talking Frog," a fractured Frog Prince that, depending on your approach, involves either kissing the frog or finding out the frog was an evil prince in his human life and serving his legs to the King. The yearly familiars from Kingdom of Loathing are themed around fractured fairy tales. The Grim Brother drops "spleen items" that relate a random dark fairy tale , and the Grimstone Golem drops masks that let you enter a Perspective Flipped fairy tale like one where you help the Hare beat the Tortoise, who tried to cheat by bringing a motorcycle to a foot-race; or where Rumpelstiltskin runs an orphanage and tries to get kids out of lousy homes by bribing their parents.

Magical Makeover is a quirky, light-hearted Choose Your Own Adventure game that starts with the protagonist getting ready to go to a grand ball All of which turn out to have unexpected side effects like turning into a plant-person, becoming a butterfly vampire who wants to eradicate the entire human race, or discovering a hives-inducing allergy to fairy dust. Also, instead of wanting to go to the ball to find her Prince Charming , she has the goal of freeing a mystical bird from the ball host's chambers to get a wish granted by it — but depending on your choices, she can instead spend her evening helping an extradimensional alien being fulfill a dragon's prophecy, being unceremoniously kidnapped by a giant owl who claims to be a princess under a curse, or becoming the unwitting victim of a season-changing ritual.

The stepmother, Carmosa, does what she does because she wants her daughters to end up well off. The stepsisters, Gloria and Sophia, aren't inherently bad people; most of their actions are driven by their desperate desire to please their mother. Cinders can befriend any or all of them throughout the game; it's even possible for Cinders to replace Carmosa as head of the household if she can prove that she's the right person for the job.

The Prince himself is hardly a presence compared to Cinders' family and isn't the only available love interest; Cinders can even marry him for the money and power while carrying on an affair with either Tobias, her childhood friend, or Perrault, a member of the King's guard. The fairy godmother is an ominous figure that repeatedly implies that her help comes with a price , and there are implications that [[spoiler: The traditional tale of Cinderella itself is even lampshaded: Cinderella Phenomenon features several characters who suffer from the Fairytale Curse, a witches' enchantment that takes a well-known fairy tale and twists it into a curse for the victim.

The main character is cursed to experience the exact reverse of " Cinderella ": Other Fairytale Curses include the Neverland Curse that traps its victim in the body of a child, the Rumpelstiltskin Curse that gives its victim Laser-Guided Amnesia about their name and identity, and the Beauty and the Beast Curse that makes its victim irresistibly beautiful to the opposite gender but transforms them into a beast when they fall in love with someone else.

All of these curses have a Curse Escape Clause , but there are witches who intend to make sure they'll never be broken or manipulate the curses for their gain. RWBY takes four fairy-tale protagonists, gives them the backstories of other fairy tales, and puts them against a horde of fairy-tale villains made out of metaphorical tar and dark matter. No Rest for the Wicked. And thus the evil princess was defeated, and the wizard saved!

In bonus story, a Mad Science mockery of Cinderella - complete with Pumpkin Blimp and twist ending. We have to save the dragon from the princess! Truck Bearing Kibble has its own view of " Hansel and Gretel ". Presumably, they'll have to tracepath the witch now. Hey, at least it wasn't an IRC-loving hungry grizzly bear. VG Cats occasionally did such retelling. In this case the net result is roughly the same, however. In Dresden Codak , one director goes for really warped retellings -- of works he's never read. It does the usual subversions, like Xenafying the female lead, giving the whole country a Dark and Troubled Past and having the fully-armoured knights ride around on motorcycles, but the greatest twist is turning Rumplestilkin into an Anti-Villain by being Childhood Friends with queen-to-be and hiding his identity with a Cool Mask.

Polandball translates rather well into fractured fairytales. Vatican wishes that Italy is a real boy too. Jamaica certainly has Skewed Priorities. Lubrican's Twisted Fairy Tale series, although it's mostly twisted in a humorous way into Porn with Plot.

Ever After High has this in spades. Granted, it's the children of the original characters doing the fracturing, in high school, no less. Thumbelina is a pretentious vegan hippie who bakes weird gluten-free food for no apparent reason, and was nicknamed "Cockchafer" in college. Alice is a gullible spoiled brat who is too insecure to say no making her popular with the boys at school.

Red Ridinghood is extremely obsessive compulsive, and is afraid of going into the woods because she thinks bugs will crawl up her legs and into her vagina. In the end, she has the wolf savagely neutered by the Village Idiot, turning up the music on her iPod to drown out the wolf's agonized screams. The Beast is a graphic designer who hires Belle as an assistant.

The transformation occurs after they hook up in a public bathroom. He fires her, and she sues him for sexual harassment. Moral of the story: Don't dip your pen in the company ink. A very squicky retelling of Rapunzel where the witch posts videos of Rapunzel on a fetish website for men who like really long hair.

The Prince is a Stalker with a Crush who has sex with her hair, and leaves her after the witch cuts it off. The story ends with Rapunzel going into the adult film industry. Cinderella is a lesbian who doesn't really care about the ball, or the Prince, and ends up marrying his sister. The Prince ends up on a talk show for Princes who get dumped by their lesbian girlfriends, and the two stepsisters are still douche-bags. Legendy Polskie retells several stories 20 Minutes into the Future.

In each episode, a different fairy tale was retold with a humorous effect, changing part of the plotline. Looney Tunes shorts did this a lot, to the point that a whole disc in one of the DVD box sets focuses on them. The Rematch of the Century , in which the original characters' kids get dragged into their rivalry; and The Goldilocks and the 3 Bears Show , a fake Reality Show in which pop star Goldilocks has to spend a month living with an ordinary family of bears.

Armed with a book of Grimm Fairy Tales , they're able to recognize various tropes. They don't cross a certain bridge, knowing there's a troll under it. They realize they're in a house belonging to three bears, and lock the door to keep the bears in too bad for Goldilocks though. Bart and Lisa later stumble upon a Gingerbread House where a Wicked Witch lives, though they trust her against their better judgement unsurprisingly, she plans to eat them.

Homer also likewise tries to free Rapunzel from her tower The Disenchantment episode " Faster, Princess! Oh, and the aforementioned Witch? Cum For Bigfoot 7. Cum For Bigfoot 11, Lena's Story. Cum For Bigfoot Cum For Bigfoot 9.

Reward Yourself

Locked in the Labyrinth of the Minotaur: The Breeding Island of Dr. Cum For The Demon. Cum For The Viking. Cum For The Genie. Bred by the Alpha. Fuck-Slave of the Man-Wolves: Gangbang With The Beasts. Bride of the Goblin King. Cum For The Invisible Man. Fucked by the Beast. Bred by the Bushmen.

Conquest of the Gladiator. Ravished 5 monster erotica stories. Feeding the Farm Hands. Coming of the Centaur: Gangbang at a Parking Lot. The Caveman's Virgin Cavemen, 1. Bred by the Beastmen. Taken By The Nymph. Submitting to the Alpha: Double Stuffed By The Gargoyles a paranormal threesome monster menage erotica. Cum For The Phantom. Bred by the Billionaire. Fucked by the Pack Paranormal Erotica.

Fractured Fairy Tale

Feeding the Farm Foreman. Firemen Took Me Rough! The Friends to Lovers Collection. My Best Friend's Hot Mom. Mated to the Centaurs. Shipwrecked An Erotic Adventure Series. Gangbanged by the Centaur Tribe. Slick Rock, Volume 1. Hucow Dairy Farm Bundle. First Time Virgin Bundle: Police Squad Took Me Rough! Owned by the Elf. Mate to the Beastman. The Sexual Education Blues. Read Dirty To Me. Can You See Me Now? The Student Teacher Blues. The Professor and the Cheerleader.

Buffy The Erection Slayer.

Join Kobo & start eReading today

The Last Wish Blues. The Good Deed Blues. The Four Hour Erection.

• LEIS UNIVERSAIS - O efeito dominó (Portuguese Edition)
• La Odisea (Biblioteca Juvenil Porrúa: 0019) (Spanish Edition)
• Dark Savior: Revelation
• Observations of a Rational Mind
• Odenwald - Exkursionsbericht (German Edition)