Haunted

Wilkie Collins - The Haunted Hotel

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Its so descriptive and disgusting I had to take a breather for fear of vomiting i am not alone in this, he read this particular story at signings and This is chuck's worst work. Its so descriptive and disgusting I had to take a breather for fear of vomiting i am not alone in this, he read this particular story at signings and people would have to leave the room, some even threw up right there I guess if you judge a story's value by how much of a physical response it can incite, then this is Grade A material.

Otherwise I would say to avoid this one until you have read a good amount of his earlier work so as not to taint your judgement. May 30, Jeremy rated it it was ok Shelves: People who are just trying to be gross can't help but be entertaining, no matter how see-thru their intent. You can't ignore the little boy who's trying to wipe his boogers on you, and when his parents have finally collared him, with anger and gag relex fully suppressed you have to admit the whole thing was actually pretty funny.

Chuck Paloonyhoonyhookiak is just trying to wipe his boogers on you.

When he's done with that, he'll gladly exhaust whatever other bodily fluids happen to be available People who are just trying to be gross can't help but be entertaining, no matter how see-thru their intent. When he's done with that, he'll gladly exhaust whatever other bodily fluids happen to be available to him. His novels seem to have been steadily leading up to this: This is the one that's apparently been making people faint at readings though how anyone can actually lose consciousness simply listening to someone read something fictional, no matter how shocking, is beyond me , and it really is genuinely disgusting.

Yet fun to read, a vomitrous tale well told. Unfortunately, the rest of the stories simply don't latch onto this gory glee, and, apart from a surprising and amusing tale of a hospice patient who is and isn't what he seems to be, the book becomes more and more of a slog, with a wraparound narrative peopled with irritatingly-named victims I can't hope to adequately express how thankful I am that I'm unlikely to ever again encounter a character in literature named "Comrade Snarky" meeting their inevitably vile ends.

It's ultimately a letdown, but do check out "Guts", if you're into this sort of thing. View all 5 comments. Feb 16, April Cote rated it really liked it Shelves: Without supernatural monsters or magic. This would be a book you wouldn't want to keep next to your bed. A book that would be a trapdoor down into some dark place.

A place only you could go, alone, when you opened the cover. Because only books have that power. You don't want to get up in the middle of the night and see is covet glowing at y "My goal was just to write some new form of horror story, something based on the ordinary world. You don't want to get up in the middle of the night and see is covet glowing at you. Reminding you instantly of the horrors you read before bed, making your stomach churn. This is a book you can't read while eating, or when your wanting to relax. This isn't a book that will take you away from the real world.

This book is a bitch slap in the face reminder that some of these horrors that you will read happen in the world around you, and will make you nauseous and shift around in your seat from discomfort. This book will make you glance up nervously, wondering if the others in the room with you can sense that your reading something so horrifically sick. You will feel like you need to shower after reading some of these stories, that your brain needs deep cleaning. But it won't help.

These stories are going to stick in your brain. You're going to feel guilty for enjoying this book.

This sick, sick horrific book. Sep 20, Edward Lorn rated it really liked it Recommends it for: First off, this is not the short story collection I was expecting. It is actually a single-author antho-novel hybrid fulla leprechaun jism and other awesome rainbow flavors. No, I mean to say, never write reviews while on Norco, Soma, and about 2 hours' worth of sleep outta I've been trying to catch some Zs since I got home from my latest hospital stay and it's not going so well.

So what's better than fighting sleep? Raise the roof and down the proof! Standou First off, this is not the short story collection I was expecting. Standout favorites herein have to be "Guts", "Hot Potting", "Swan Song", and the uber-disturbing gender-role swapping of "Speaking Bitterness". The latter actually made me physically uncomfortable while reading it. One powerful goddamn story, friends and neighbors. In fact, if it wasn't for the poetry the poetry might be awesome and perfect in its poetry goodness, but I haven't a fuck to find for fancy verse this would have been a five-star read for me.

All the poems felt repetitive, the exact same in style and structure. I stopped reading them halfway through, and then went back and read all the ones I skipped. Didn't feel like I missed anything. Then again, I'm not into Overall, I think they were filler. Not sure why they were needed because this book is almost twice as long as Palahniuk's most popular novels. You have to enjoy high-class low-brow humor to dig this one.

I'm all for anal carrots and cream-filled CPR dummies. Bring on Make Something Up! Glow-in-the-dark covers are rad. My God, what to say about this one? Haunted was messed up and engaging to the fullest. I'm always floored when an author serves up something genuinely different.

[We Love ’90s Horror] ‘House on Haunted Hill’ Was the Right Mix of Classical and Modern

In a book market where so many offerings are so goddamn painfully similar right down to the titles It's even more rewarding when My God, what to say about this one? It's even more rewarding when such a different drummer has the chops to blow your mind. Haunted is a collection of stories and characters that will absolutely make your skin crawl, and it's mind-boggling how much territory it covers, almost all of it located in left field.

It's doubtful that you've ever read anything quite comparable that goes for most of Palahniuk's other work too. The way Chuck can expand an idea or create a plot from the most unexpected places, then making it compelling and riveting and Like the tale of man who literally lost his guts, or the sociopath with a bowling ball, or the cross-dressing terrorist, or the DIY porn couple gone wrong, or the foot masseur turned assassin It's sick, twisted, funny, sad, shocking; hell it's practically a trigger for every intense feeling humans are capable of having.

It's well-written and engaging and beyond all else it is different. And today's storytelling landscape definitely needs a lot more 'different'. View all 6 comments. Jan 24, Patrick rated it it was amazing Shelves: I was really excited about this one after being disappointed with "Lullaby" and "Diary. Trapped in a house and running out of food, they write, record, and videotape their experience, certain that when they are finally rescued, they will all become media darlings destined for reality tv fame, if any of th I was really excited about this one after being disappointed with "Lullaby" and "Diary.

Trapped in a house and running out of food, they write, record, and videotape their experience, certain that when they are finally rescued, they will all become media darlings destined for reality tv fame, if any of them survive, that is. The first story, "Guts," had a reputation for making listeners pass out when Pahlaniuk read it aloud at book signings. My friend Jim and I also took great pleasure in reading that story aloud to oblivious victims. I think he even read it to his mom. My other favorite story is the one about the life-like dolls at the police station, just totally unbelievable.

One critic complained that this book was "too over the top," and it's like, dude, what the fuck do you think the point was? This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Sometimes in the humor section of the bookstore you can find a spoof of a popular book or writer. That's not what Haunted is, but it's the first thing that comes to mind. While the cover promises that Haunted is "A Novel," the innards tell a different story: This frame is supposed to evoke storytelling parties of the past, such as the Canterbury Tales or the Decameron, in which the participants each tell a story.

Bloody Disgusting!

He Sometimes in the humor section of the bookstore you can find a spoof of a popular book or writer. Henry James' "Turn of the Screw" was structured similarly. In Haunted, each of the semi-anonymous characters from the frame "novel" tell a story and have a poem told about them. The problem with this approach is that every character tells their story as if they were Chuck Palahniuk, and about halfway through bits of the framing device start slipping into the stories.

The novel itself is narrated in first-person although the narrator never participates in any of the activities of the others. And oh, the activities! The basic hook for the novel here is that a group of aspiring writers have gone off on a weird "Writer's Retreat" in which they hole up in an abandoned movie theater somewhere for 90 days.

The dust jacket tells us this is "a satire of reality television" -- and sure, the group of strangers locked in a house together is a common reality TV trope. But if this were a satire of Chuck Palahniuk, what would happen? What would happen is that the writers would all have horrible personal problems, would begin worshiping at the First Church of Self-Destruction, they would start talking like coroners and doctors with jargon littering their dialogue, they would repeat themselves with a chorus, and they'd throw up a bunch of plot twists. And that's just what happens.

haunted - Wiktionary

For no reason at all, except that the participants of this "Writer's Retreat" think they can cash in someday if they suffer enough, start chopping off fingers, starving themselves, sabotaging the environmental controls, and consuming human flesh. Palahniuk is best when he's right at the edge of absurd. Fight Club was there. Survivor and Choke were at the precipice. Even with its flaws, Rant toed the long drop. But Haunted hurls itself into the abyss, and I understand how Chuck writes and I understand how Chuck wants you to feel when you're reading his books, and this isn't it.

This book makes you exclaim aloud "This is fucking ridiculous. Would a story involving dressing in drag and getting your ass kicked lead to fundraising for crashing planes? You bet it would. Haunted is an obnoxious mess that fails to get any reader buy-in to the things the characters are doing, and Chuck's signature style is turned up to eleven -- to the point that you're constantly reminded that you're reading a book by an author with an identifiable style.

Would a Chuck Palahniuk satire be written that way? So Haunted is, at best, a self-satire by a writer who maybe recognizes his own tropes and wants to poke a little bit of fun. At worst, it's an unsuccessful experiment at creating a compelling anthology novel. The stories themselves are mostly really good, but as presented it feels like Chuck cleaned out a file named "Novel Ideas" and threw them into this stew instead of developing them individually.

Of stand-out note are "Guts," which Chuck read aloud on his "Diary" tour and was previously published in Playboy. It's plotless but has a decent punch to it. Many of the others are simply average, and a few are completely forgettable "Ritual", "Green Room", "Speaking Bitterness".

The attempt to add context to them with the weak writer's-retreat frame doesn't work. View all 4 comments. Dec 17, Kelly and the Book Boar rated it really liked it Shelves: Find all of my reviews at: Leave behind everything that keeps you from creating your masterpiece. Your job and family and home, all those obligations and distractions — put them on hold for three months. Live with like-minded people in a setting that supports total immersion in your work. Food and lodging included free for those who qualify. Gamble a small fraction of your life on the Find all of my reviews at: Gamble a small fraction of your life on the chance to create a new future as a professional poet, novelist, screenwriter.

A group of strangers responds to this advertisement and find themselves locked away — literally. This is Palahniuk at his best. Family bonding at its best. Oh Chuck, you sick bastard. Kelly and the Book Boar. This book is more of a 3. A group of people agree to participate in a "Writer's Retreat". Three months, food and lodging included, while you complete your masterpiece. The stories begin with probably one of the best, most shocking short stories I've ever read-called Guts.

You just have to see for yourself on that one. Some of the stories the people share are more interesting than others. That's why the 3. The thing that amazed me about this book was the way This book is more of a 3. The thing that amazed me about this book was the way people act. The chapters that told what was going on in the house had me like this. Humanity at it's basest is what you will see. There are some queasy moments and I have a very stong stomach.

Sep 03, Danielle. Stopped on page 25 I can't finish this. I decided to read this book because I read in a group comment that it was the weirdest thing they've ever read. So I decided to give it a try The storyteller jacking off in a pool hovering over th I The storyteller jacking off in a pool hovering over the pool's suction shit so it's basically eating his ass whilst he jacks off and next thing you know it's sucking up his guts and he has to eat his asshole out to save himself. Occasional sentences about doing what the French do or some weird shit This would be a book you wouldn't keep next to your bed.

I get you wanted horror without supernatural monsters or magic, but these stories are not it! Read some of Stephen King's works for some real ordinary world horror -- Misery, for example. That's some nerve-racking stuff. My eyes felt as though they were about to pop out my head whilst I was reading.

Excuse me, going to brush my eyeballs and brain to remove the images and thoughts I've just read.

The author was right about one thing: This is a book I will not be keeping next to my bed. Mar 27, Travis rated it really liked it. The book was a difficult read. Even more difficult to review. I struggled with how many stars to give it to the point where I've waited a few weeks to even write a review. It wasn't my favorite book by any means but I didn't hate it either.

What it did do was stir so much visceral emotion that I haven't been able to pick up another book since. A reaction that intense warrants recognition so I reluctantly opted for 4 stars purely on its dark influence over my joy of reading or lack there of now The book was a difficult read. A reaction that intense warrants recognition so I reluctantly opted for 4 stars purely on its dark influence over my joy of reading or lack there of now. Any book that could turn me off from all other books for a while is a book that I'll be talking about for a long time.

This novel is not a book I would recommend lightly. It is not a book that I would recommend to many people at all in fact. Michiel Huisman as Steven Crain. Carla Gugino as Olivia. Timothy Hutton as Hugh Crain. Elizabeth Reaser as Shirley Crain.

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Oliver Jackson-Cohen as Luke Crain. Henry Thomas as Young Hugh Crain. Kate Siegel as Theodora Crain. Victoria Pedretti as Nell Crain. Lulu Wilson as Young Shirley. McKenna Grace as Young Theo. Paxton Singleton as Young Steven. Violet McGraw as Young Nell. Julian Hilliard as Young Luke. October 26, Full Review…. October 24, Full Review…. October 23, Full Review…. October 22, Full Review…. I found it perplexing and eventually irritating.

October 12, Full Review…. October 12, Rating: November 28, Rating: November 21, Full Review…. November 19, Full Review…. November 16, Full Review…. View All Critic Reviews View All Audience Reviews. Best of Netflix Movies and shows to binge now.

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