A Worldview: Use Your Opportunities, Reach Your Goals, Achieve Calm, Balance and Harmony

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As individuals, familiarity breeds cognitive lock-in. We experience cognitive lock-in whenever we choose to do something out of habit even when objectively better alternatives exist. We behave automatically rather than intentionally. This impacts us as leaders too. It develops a kind of leadership lock-in. We get so locked-in to the values, beliefs, behavioral norms, habits and routines that it is hard to lead intentionally—the way we know we should—the way we want to. We just go through the motions of leadership without really thinking about what we are doing or the long-term consequences of our actions.

Instead of adapting and learning, we plow ahead with behaviors that we are comfortable with. The more we behave or think in a certain way, the less likely it is that we will do anything to change it, even when we can see that it is not serving us well. Learning is an action step. But leadership lock-in contributes to our desire to avoid the effort needed to change our behavior in a way that would get us the results we truly seek. The comforting feel of immediate gratification plays into much of the problem presented by leadership lock-in.

For example, self-serving behaviors, emotional outbursts, expediency, unrealistic pacing, and control issues, all give us immediate—momentary—gratification, but in the end, masks the long-term consequences of such behavior and thinking. And we get locked-in to what we think is working or more likely, is only working for us. Leadership lock-in is at odds with sustainable leadership. They get tripped up by their own thinking. The cumulative impact of their behavior derails them and eventually neutralizes their influence.

Is this how I would want to be treated? Is what I am saying or doing expressing the values I believe in? Train Yourself to Succeed. Harvey Mackay on Managing Your Career. Do You Argue With Reality? Timeless Advice from a Father to a Daughter. In short, I would say, optimism is finding perspective. Building Relationships by Valuing Others. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love. Mark Twain on Leadership. The Progress of a Moral Purpose T wain created a series of photographs that humorously point out what often goes through the minds of man when considering any kind of self-improvement.

Mojo is that positive spirit toward what we are doing now that starts from the inside and radiates to the outside, writes Marshall Goldsmith. The kind of positive impression you make profoundly affects your ability to influence. Mojo can make or break your leadership effectiveness.

Leading Matters: John L. Hennessy on the Leadership Journey

Goldsmith says that four ingredients need to be combined in order for you to have great Mojo: Who you think you are? Or how do you perceive yourself? Our identity is created in a number of ways: What have you done lately? There is a difference between what we think we achieve and what others think we achieve.

When these get out of sync we can have a Mojo crisis. Understand what "achievement" means to you. What do other people think you are? Your reputation is a scoreboard kept by others. You can choose the reputation you want if you are disciplined enough to live out your objectives in daily, consistent behaviors.

What can you change, and what is beyond your control? You know how it goes: Worse still we whine, complain and lay blame for things that happen to us instead of taking it all in stride. We limit our opportunities to find meaning and happiness. We kill our Mojo. Four Steps to Building Loyalty Loyalty is a critical subject for leaders. Successful organizations are built on relationships. Leadership is all about relationships.

But how important is modeling loyalty in everything you do? Can You Pass the Fitzgerald Test?

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In his classic self-analysis, The Crack-Up , F. Most leaders just aren't ready to grapple with the paradoxes that will increasingly characterize their day-to-day lives. I have to focus on running operations with laserlike precision without stifling creativity. Attention to detail and focus on numbers has allowed me to progress in my career, but too much focus on details or numbers can crowd out innovation. The people I trust the most are people who deliver short-term results and never surprise me, but innovation almost always involves some kind of surprise.

To this we might add the ability to look at solutions to problems that have more than one solution or seemingly opposing goals—serving shareholders and our communities, to grow and be good stewards. If you have a low tolerance for opposing thoughts you are less likely to look for other alternatives. This greatly limits your ability to adapt to changing circumstances.

Anthony reports that it has been estimated that no more than 5 percent of the manager population can truly grapple with paradox. Again, self-awareness is key. Understand how you view the world. Avoiding the Unforced Error. How to Be a Positive Force in Any Situation To overcome the force of gravity—that which pulls us down—we have to generate an opposing force greater than gravity. That force is lift. Any opposition to lift is called drag. Instead of experiencing lift we fall back into our comfort zones, become reactive, self-centered and fatalistic. To intentionally experience lift and to be a positive influence for others, we have to make a conscious choice.

The Habit of Noticing. Exerting control over stress means that we do whatever is necessary to lower the stress level to one at which our performance is not compromised. Accountability means that, even when we are not required to answer to others because of our position or corporate policy or law, we intentionally place ourselves in a relationship with someone who tests our motives and our actions.

Sometimes we need a wake-up call to finally deal with our own issues.

But we can learn vicariously. A guide for asking the hard questions. Tim Irwin has developed an online assessment This exercise will help you to identify your risk for derailment in four key areas. There are 48 questions within this assessment. It should take you minutes to complete. By purchasing this book, you can also download both the e-book and the audio versions for free. Three for the price of one! Self-Awareness Without self-awareness leadership becomes just another exercise in ego gratification. Self-awareness allows for self-discipline and control of the ego. Without it the ego runs amok looking after itself and only incidentally in the service of others if the needs of both happen to align.

Self-awareness is the ability to see when an emotion or a perception is influencing your thinking and behavior and, if necessary, do something about it. Gaining control over the state of your mind will pay big dividends in terms of your leadership effectiveness. It is the blind spot of leadership. Being able to step back and see both the positive and negative aspects about yourself, to see how you affect others, and to see how you are behaving in real-time , is critical to your success as a leader. Self-awareness is a bigger problem than one might think. This means that two thirds of us are typically controlled by our emotions and are not yet skilled at spotting them and using them to our benefit.

You can not manage the behaviors of others without first getting a handle on your own. An Apollo 11 Lesson. In The Next Level , Scott Eblin cites research that finds that 40 percent of new executives fail within eighteen months of their promotion. What begins as one of the best moments in your career can turn out to be one of the most stressful events of your life. With a new role comes a new set of expectations requiring a new set of competencies. Part of the problem faced by newly promoted executives is that while the expectations are high, they are not clearly stated.

Eblin has defined nine set of key behaviors and beliefs that new executives need to pick up and let go of to succeed. There is no arguing the fact that we all have various combinations of strengths in varying degrees. Maximizing the use of those strengths as we can, in the context we find ourselves in is advantageous to all involved. You may need to develop a new strength and turn some of your weaknesses around. Then there is the question of whether or not your particular brand of strength is marketable. Great hobby, but not a career at least not at my current level of competence. Robert Kaiser has assembled fifteen authors in The Perils of Accentuating the Positive to help you get some perspective on the strengths movement.

They bring out four ways to look at strengths: What comes naturally to you Competitive Strengths: Skills that are stronger than most of your competitors Distinctively Competitive Strengths: Strengths that distinguish you from others Competitive and Aligned Strengths: Strengths you need for long-term career success If you plan to succeed by focusing on your strengths, make sure you do more than just discover and build on your strengths your personal best. You will also need your strengths to stand out compared to your peers competitive strengths. If you want to stand out among your peers and have a better chance for promotions, make sure your strengths set you apart from other also competitive peers distinctively competitive strengths.

Finally, you better hope that your five distinctive and competitive strengths include the ones that make a difference when it comes to long-term career success competitive and aligned strengths. We regularly tell the up-and-coming youngies to first discover their strengths, then gauge how those strengths compare to those of the people they are and will be, competing with, and finally, find out which strengths they need to fulfill their career dreams and to start working on the ones that are not up to par.

As we have stated here before, the overuse of a strength can be a weakness. When we rely too much on our strengths we usually end up emphasizing them to the point where they become weaknesses and derail our career and relationships. Leading Blog Main Page Leading Matters is about the journey.

The stories he tells here are revolve around the ten elements that shaped his journey and how he relied on these traits in pivotal moments. The elements are relevant to any leader at any level. As he observes, the higher up you go the crises just get bigger and come faster. He begins by discussing the foundational elements: He then links them together with courage. Finally, he shows how collaboration, innovation, intellectual curiosity, storytelling, and creating change that lasts, helped him reach his goals.

Here are some of his thoughts on each element extracted from his stories: Arrogance sees only strengths, ignores our weaknesses, and overlooks the strengths of others, therefore leaving us vulnerable to catastrophic mistakes. Authenticity and Trust Authenticity is essential to building trust. Consider the wisdom popularly attributed to Socrates: So this is part of the practice: If you take a leadership role as a step toward a personal goal of gathering ever-greater titles, awards, and salaries, you will never see true success in that role.

Recognize the service of others. As a leader it is easy to get wrapped up in big projects and ambitious initiatives, and, in the process, to forget the smaller, but no less important, individual acts of service taking place all around you. Much of that service supports and enables the widely celebrated success of others. Empathy Empathy should always be a factor in making decisions and setting goals. Empathy represents a crucial check on action—placing a deep understanding of and concern for the human condition next to data can lead to decisions that support the wellbeing of all.

Empathy usually implies compassion and perhaps charity, but we are looking for more than that: Courage, on the other hand, compels a leader to take that right action. While many people can discern what is right and true, acting on that discernment is more difficult. Even if risk-taking is against your nature, for the good of your organization, you must find the courage to practice it.

Collaboration and Teamwork Most significant endeavors will be accomplished by a team. Certain ground rules circumvented interteam rivalries. First of all, I reminded everyone of our shared goal: Further, to support innovative, cross-disciplinary thinking, I set a second ground rule: To this, I added a third ground rule: This led to my final ground rule: Innovation presents great opportunities for smart entrepreneurs, not the other way around. Intellectual Curiosity Beyond personal enjoyment, though, this lifelong curiosity has served me well in my career.

It has enabled me to engage in meaningful dialog about the world and its future. In challenging moments, great leaders show their true character. Storytelling If you really want to inspire a team to action, best to engage them with a story. Once they become receptive—once they can imagine themselves as part of your vision—you can back your story up with facts and figures. When you turn that dream into a vivid story, you make it so attractive and so real that people will want to share it with you by joining your team.

When it came time to respond to change, these companies moved quickly and efficiently, because every employee already understood the company identity and therefore knew how to respond without direct coaching. In every profession and career, as we climb to higher leadership positions, the role of facts and data decreases. Legacy means the institution serves people more effectively now than it did when you arrived.

Any one of them has the potential to derail even the best of leaders. While they may creep up on us, we can see them coming and apply the proper antidote. And even though these seven challenges never really go away, we can create some life habits that keep them at bay. Nieuwhof writes from a been-there-done-that Christian perspective about the issues as they manifest themselves in our lives and follows up each one with a chapter on how to combat it.

These issues affect everyone and some you'll find hit close to home. The seven challenges are: Cynicism Disappointment and frustration often end in cynicism. Ask them and they know all about it. It may get us in the door, but character is what determines how far we go. Technology just makes it worse. Eliminate hurry from your life.

And this comment could pull any of us up short: For me, the sense that a conversation is going nowhere always carries with it an underpinning of judgment and even arrogance on my part. Which, of course, should drive me right back to my knees in confession. Irrelevance Irrelevance happens when what you do no longer connects to the culture and the people around you. That gap is a factor of how fast things change relative to you. Change staves off irrelevance. Get radical about change.

Surround yourself with younger people. Seek change to transform you. Burnout Burnout saps the meaning and wonder out of life. Signs of burnout include among other things: Getting out of this state begins by admitting it and then figuring out how to live today so you will thrive tomorrow. What does that look like? Nieuwhof recommends some concrete steps you can take to bring you back from burnout. Go deep enough and take enough time to recover so that you begin to feel gratitude for the process. Emptiness Ironically, success often makes you feel empty.

Humility will win you what pride never will: Other people naturally gravitate toward people who live for a cause beyond themselves. The practical advice found here will benefit anyone on their leadership journey. It does not invalidate everything else of its type, rather it is designed to be simpler and thereby memorable and actionable on issues that really matter for people in the work environment. And it is quite straightforward for both accessing yourself and others you work with. Using the key sticking points between people, they identify 4 Working Styles: Pioneers value possibilities and they spark energy and imagination.

Drivers value challenge and they generate momentum. Integrators value connection and they draw teams together. Guardians value stability and they bring order and rigor. The authors naturally go into detail on each of these types and give an example of a well-known person that fits that type. They also delve into difference between the types as they relate to stress Pioneers are the least stressed.

The trick of course, is to use this knowledge to modify you own behavior. Then you can determine how you might flex your own style to better match the preferences of those around you. Knowing these trigger points can help you as a leader to give people more of what they need to excel and less of what will turn them off. I might want to be direct with others but I have learned that I am more productive when I am diplomatic. But being that that is my natural tendency, I probably prefer when people are direct and concise with me. That fact would affect my working style profile.

They prefer having all of the answers and enjoy zooming into every detail. They grew up in a different time and may have adopted a more novelty-seeking and relationship—focused orientation. Without it we tend to be reactive, disengaged, an unimaginative. The more conscious we are, the faster we adapt, and the higher performing we become.

The Power of Awareness in Business and Life , because they believe that becoming more conscious is critical in our increasingly disruptive and accelerating world. This sabotages our ability to thrive in a constantly changing world. There are four reasons why we are not aware as we need to be: As a result, we stay stuck, biased, and reactive.

Staying small and never stepping up is sure to lead to regrets and will undermine your highest potential. Go Deep Harness the power of introspection by getting to know who you are, where you come from, and why you act the way you do. Think Big Get curious and adaptive: Get Real Become more honest and intentional in leadership and life, overcoming the pitfalls of being too safe and cautious while embracing reality. Step Up Act boldly and responsibly to reach your highest potential: To lead change you need a conscious mindset. That requires that we become more conscious of what pushes us forward—our Accelerators —and what holds us back—our Hijackers.

Accelerators like courage, drive or determination, deliberate practice, resilience, and vulnerability, drive us forward. Hijackers like self-criticism, cynicism, controlling behavior, aloofness or disengagement, and hyper-competitiveness, hold us back. It is important to know how these things impact your performance and constructively use them or deal with them. There are many things that conspire to throw us off-course.

Knowing who you want to be in the world and remembering your purpose, will help you to manage these issues and keep you on course. The more conscious we are the less drama we will experience in our lives. Another consequence of being conscious is to be civil. Acts of civility are the small sacrifices we make for the good of all and the sake of harmoniously living and working together. Barack Obama because "he's an Arab. He's a decent, family man, citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues. Consciousness is a choice.

Conscious unleashes our full potential as human beings. By expanding our minds, enriching our experiences, and shaping our destinies, we discover our purpose in life. Being conscious enables us to approach life as a journey.

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Equipped with everything we need—an open mind and heart, confidence and resilience, and our capacity for greater consciousness—we embrace the uncertainty of life. Conscious is the accelerator for effective change. If you are a high-performer, it comes with the territory. Graham offers 7 tips for overcoming Imposer Syndrome: Mistakes can indicate that you need to prioritize, delegate, or take a break. Or they could just be mistakes.

Perhaps you attribute your success to luck. We are masters at believing negative feedback while shrugging off the positive. Take time to listen to praise from others and own it. Stay humble and curious. It will give you unprecedented depth in this day and age. Beyond what I'm sharing here, Switchers is an invaluable resource for those looking to make a career switch.

And this requires a different approach than the typical job search. She covers the five job search killers, networking and the 2nd Level Contact Strategy, rebranding your social media profile, and crafting your professional identity. Bias is a reality in the hiring process, and can be an especially difficult hurdle for Switchers.

Learn to identify it and engage strategies to overcome it such as using your network to become an insider. Your career story is what will convince the hiring manager to pull the trigger and make the offer. It should be logical, compelling, attention-getting, and genuine. You need to network to make a career switch. Second- and third level connections are where the action is! Most people in your immediate circle have the same information you do, so the goal is to get their network, because that is where your next opportunity lies.

How many working hours of the average day do you and your team spend in the Drama Triangle? This triangle was developed as a social model years ago by Stephen Karpman, a student of Dr. Eric Berne, the father of Transactional Analysis.

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It maps out a type of dysfunctional interaction that is common in the workplace and in our homes as well. Karpman used this triangle to define three points that arise predictably in any dysfunctional real-life drama: Notice that all three of these are roles we can choose to play, or choose to step back from , at any time.

Here are three ways you could choose to respond: One classic pattern is: How often do you really want to do that? The Drama Triangle is a game. A lot of the leaders we work with are shocked to learn that most of their workplace interactions fall within this dysfunctional triangle! Start noticing that that the Drama Triangle game typically begins with one person — it could be you — taking up the Persecutor or Victim role. If not, could you think of anyone else we can get to help you out with it? Leave people enough time to readjust before the deadline.

Your responsibility as a leader is to support your people, start good conversations, and make good outcomes possible. The Drama Triangle goes in the exact opposite direction of all three of those goals: The only way to win this particular game to resolve not to play — and then stick with that decision! He oversees the corporate direction and strategy for the company's global operations including sales, marketing, consulting, alliances, and support. Under Mattson's leadership, the Sandler organization expanded domestically and internationally to over offices in 32 countries.

For more information, please visit the Road to Excellence website. The Excellence Process consists of six steps that when taken in order and made part of your culture will turn excellence into a process and help to get rid of your blind spots. He has curated ideas from 45 internationally—known doers and thinkers on the topics of entrepreneurship, innovation, and authentic leadership.

But here are several that I found interesting my first time through the book: Startups Are Not a Smaller Version of a Large Company We know that a startup is a temporary organization designed to search for a repeatable and scalable business model. The corollary for an enterprise is as follows: A company is a permanent organization designed to execute a repeatable and scalable business model.

Once you understand that existing companies are designed to execute, then you can see why they have a hard time with continuous and disruptive innovation. It will happen especially in industries such as transportation, shipping, finance, and retail, but all kinds of companies and leaders should look into this much deeper.

Of course, the big companies have an advantage due to the amount of data they often how. The startups lack this, and data is increasingly becoming king. How to Anticipate the Future There are an amazing number of things we can accurately predict when we learn how to distinguish between what I call hard trends, trends that will happen, and soft trends, trends that might happen. Think of it as a two-sided coin. Agility is on one side, allowing you to react fast to unforeseen change, and the other side is anticipatory, allowing you to see what is coming and take action before the change occurs.

Agility is basically reacting quickly to change. Agile innovation will keep you reacting to disruptive innovation created by others. They are indeed timeless. Brian Dodd examines in Timeless Kindle what it takes to reach the top of your profession. How do you become the best at what you do? How do you become an Apex Leader? Dodd has selected the 10 key practices that Apex Leaders have in common.

While character, patience and empathy are important for a leader to sustain their leadership, they are not necessarily the behaviors and practices needed to get to the top of their chosen profession. Here, Dodd focuses on the achievement side of the equation. What is required to be the best at what you do? While Timeless will resonate with Christian leaders, the principles apply across all organizations and contexts. As readers of his blog have come to expect, Dodd draws on many examples from the world of sports.

All of these principles are found in scripture and are being successfully applied by Apex Leaders in organizations of all types. Your team is your primary difference maker. Apex Leaders look for skill, work ethic and passion when building a team. Apex Leaders Are Humble Humble leaders do not deny their talents but are thankful for them.

Humble leaders acknowledge that no matter how good they are, they are in constant need of support. All successful leaders must be servant-leaders first. They acknowledge they have been granted opportunities not for personal gain, but for the betterment of others. Humble leaders know they have not arrived. The mission and vision of what they are trying to accomplish is too important to remain the same.

Apex Leaders Continually Improve Are you willing to be rebuilt? Pride and arrogance are enemies of continual improvement. Apex Leaders Form Strong Relationships One of the most impressive things about the leadership of Jesus was his continual focus on relationships. There is only one thing in your business which appreciates—your people. The most important relationship a leader needs to cultivate and protect is the relationship with their family. If you want to accomplish anything great as a leader, you must surround yourself with competent staff. Almost all important decisions made about you and your career take place when you are not in the room.

So, always leave a trail of kindness and respect behind you. Apex Leaders Make Others Better No matter how talented you are, you need someone who can make yourself better. No athlete ever demonstrated consistent excellence better than the legendary Hank Aaron. We over-celebrate big results and under-appreciate consistent excellence. Aaron reminds us greatness is not always achieved through short-term spectacular results but sometimes through long-term consistency.

Apex Leaders Lead by Example You cannot lead by example if you do not effectively lead yourself first. Leading by example means putting the mission of your organization above your personal aspirations. Leaders who lead by example fight for unity. Delivering results requires preparation, decisiveness, talent, limiting unnecessary mistakes, energy, continual improvement, confidence, good health, and passion.

The ability to deliver results determines if someone actually will follow them. By seeking out the experiences of others, we can grow faster with less drama. In The Book of Mistakes , Skip Prichard has created for us an absorbing fable of a young man and a young woman who are both part of a mysterious journey to learn the nine mistakes that tend to trip us up.

While they make sense, they are not always intuitive. The truths presented here often stand between us and success. The main story follows David whose life of promise has become ordinary. Through a life-altering event, he has a chance meeting with an Old Man who sets him on a journey that will take him to meet nine unique people who will share the nine mistakes and the impact these mistakes have had on their own lives. The nine mistakes are framed by three universal laws that are found in an ancient book of wisdom. The parallel story is about Aria and how she comes to be the keeper of the book of wisdom and how she learns of the three laws.

Printable Graphic The three universal laws enable the nine secrets to creating a successful future.

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To avoid the nine mistakes, you need to: Live your own dream. Recognize your inherent value. Surround yourself with the right people. Explore outside your comfort zone. More forward through challenges with determination and purpose. Act boldly with the knowledge that your potential success is unlimited. Pursue your goals with urgency.

You think about people, about loving those around you. Your first is important because you also must have a longer view, or you will never accomplish the goals that are hard and take longer. Their experiences help to identify and relate to the mistake and help us to take action to avoid the mistake in the future.

Prichard brings a lot of wisdom to each of these common life issues. The story is engaging for young and old. Share this book widely because these are the kinds of mistakes that create regret down the road. At the end of your life these are the things that you look back on and wonder why no one ever told you about these pitfalls. We are never too old to learn them and some are more difficult to deal with because of the baggage that often accompanies them.

Now is the time to set your course. We work under the assumption that more is better. Morten Hansen thinks the way we work is broken. Not only that but how we manage and reward work, and how our culture recognizes hard work. What we call hard work may not be our best work. In Great at Work , Hansen reports on a five-year survey of 5, managers and employees, including sales reps, lawyers, actuaries, brokers, medical doctors, software programmers, engineers, store managers, plant foremen, nurses and even a Las Vegas casino dealer.

They discovered seven work smart practices. The first four involves mastering your own work, and the last three encompasses mastering working with others. Do Less, Then Obsess The common practice he found among the highest-ranked performers in the study was that they carefully selected which priorities, tasks, meetings, customers, ideas or steps to undertake and which to let go. They then applied intense, targeted effort on those few priorities in order to excel. He found that there were just a few key work practices related to this selectivity that accounted for two-thirds of the variation in performance among our subjects.

The typical inside-out view, by contrast, measures work according to whether we have completed our tasks and goals, regardless of whether they produce any benefits. Doing great work requires that you are getting feedback every day. In his study, 74 percent of the top performers reviewed their work in an effort to learn and improve. On 17 percent in the underperforming category did. Aim for Passion and Purpose You can have one without the other, but we should aim for both.

You may need to take a wider view of what ignites you. Expand your circle of passion by tapping into these dimensions. Getting other people on board takes more than just explaining the merits of your project. The best advocates in their study master two skills in this regard. Not just grit, but smart grit. Enlist others to help move your project forward. They become lone crusaders for their efforts—and they exhaust themselves in the process. As a matter of necessity, much of this work takes place in meetings. The trick is to encourage constructive fights in meetings with cognitive diversity.

Some people talk too little, and some people talk too much across teams and departments. He recommends disciplined collaboration. Fresh and compelling examples are used throughout to fully illustrate the seven smart work practices. In this moment we will take action that will affect our future or we will not. All we have is now. It is a flexible mindset so we can all learn to become a little more Nowist in our approach. One of the reasons that Nowists can see opportunities is that they are not stuck trying to protect their past; spending time and energy on something that no longer makes sense.

But they do possess a certain kind highly impulsive functional thinking.

In a study performed at the University of Michigan on impulsivity, researchers found that there were two impulsive traits. And the kind that allows people to decide quickly with good results. They are good at deciding quickly under pressure and are willing to choose an option even at the cost of making a mistake that they can and are willing to correct as they go forward. Procrastination Nowists take control of their time. They understand cause and effect. It is only in the Now that we can think, do, or change anything in the future.

A Nowist is an active optimist. They believe they can make good things happen and take action to create a better future. Now is a good time to think about your Now. How will you use your NOW? How does it feel to not be afraid? Steve Sims, the founder of Bluefish , has built a company that gets things done.

Bluefish makes seemingly out-of-reach, change-your-life, experiences happen. He calls it bluefishing. Bluefishing is about changing your mindset. Bluefishers look for connections. What are people passionate about and how can I find a win-win for their passions? Passion is something you have to discover—your own and others too. Drill down for it. Ask why at least three times. Try something and fail at it over and over until you find out how to do it properly—to see if it is worth pursuing—while everyone else is still trying to work out the demographics.

They drowned from staying there. Discovery is just the beginning. You learned what to do on your next attempt. To build your brand, first, do a self-audit. What do you stand for? How do you want people to feel when they are around you? Discover your strengths and manage your weaknesses. Focus on your own weak links, the things that foul up your life or your work again and again and again. Get others to talk about you—recommend you. Invest in your growth.

Get better for your clients—your followers. And let them know. I was willing to look dumb, to be among people that I knew were far more intelligent than me, so that I could learn. Bluefishers move, act, do, go.

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The thinking never does. Bluefishing is a mentality first, then a stack of tools and behaviors. Learn the password and the doors will open. Autonomy is simply looking at life as though we are a world unto ourselves. As though we did it all by ourselves. But the reality is, we are connected. The opposite of autonomy is gratitude. Society does not see gratitude as a moral or a character issue, which it certainly is.

Although it is has been scientifically proven to be a key to happiness, it is something much more profound than that. Most of our problems—especially relational issues—can be traced back to a lack of gratitude. In dealing with any of our problems, you will find that there is a lack of gratitude over something or someone. He considered gratitude to be a crucial source of social civility and stability. Like all character traits, gratitude is expressed in action. It is returning a favor, giving thanks, showing appreciation or simply giving someone your time and attention.

When we are full of pride, angry, frustrated, depressed, defensive, stressed, irritated or anxious, we would do well take a time-out and uncover our ungratefulness. Gratitude is most often expressed by simply thanking others, but it is more than just giving thanks. It is a way of looking at life; a way of seeing other people. It is more than a strategy or a technique to influence others.

It is a way of being. Real gratitude is unconditional. Gratitude endures through everything. It is not a fleeting response to our circumstances. It was not about individual episodes in her life, but rather it speaks to a perspective on life. An awareness of how much we owe to others throughout our life. I am not alone. It strengthens our relationships while moderating our behavior. The autonomous person rejects gratitude precisely because they must recognize and submit to others in this way.

I can invalidate them. This kind of thinking is not based in reality. Eventually, it leads to self-destruction. It strips away our indifference. It puts us in touch with reality because it acknowledges our connections—our networked existence. It is this gratitude effect—the way it grounds us in reality—that benefits us and those around us the most. Gratitude moderates and even inhibits toxic emotions but more than that, it gives birth to positive emotions. Gratitude gives birth to and nurtures patience, a sense of humor, curiosity, creativity, insight, kindness, respect, courage, generosity, empathy, and positivity to name a few.

Gratitude creates the space for positive emotions to grow and flourish. Anger, irritation, defensiveness, worry, and impatience, are choices.

Have you ever been in the middle of an angry rant when the phone rings? The point is, we can choose gratitude to drive these toxic emotions out of our lives. Negative emotions cannot coexist with gratitude. Gratitude has the power to pull teams together. We want to take our ball and go home—disengage. If we can develop a mindset of gratitude, that will not happen.

We will stay engaged. We will work together. Gratitude has the power to slow us down and reflect and refocus our attention on what matters. Sometimes we have to step back to see our life in perspective; to be able to connect the dots. I like the way American writer Ursula Le Guin put it: How do we get to the point where gratitude defines who we are? Humility, of course, makes all of this work. Humility is the ability to silence the self. Humility is valuing other people; appreciating them. Humility allows us to be open to recognizing the good in all of our circumstances.

Gratitude is humility in action. Not surprisingly, the mechanism behind gratitude is remembering. Developing a mindset of gratitude is about remembering. And remembering takes effort. Of course, we can find the differences; we can find the negative. We can dwell on it. But we can combat that by seeking out anything that is excellent or praiseworthy—seeking out the good in any situation. Drawing upon positive memories gives us hope for the future.

Unconditional gratitude heals and creates understanding and builds relationships. Gratitude acknowledges that we are connected. Allow unconditional gratitude to define you as a leader. Good is often confused with competency. But it is really a character issue.

You can be good at your job but doing good is a character issue. Doing good is not just no being bad but intentionally creating more good in the workplace and especially in others. A mindset of humility that makes you teachable. Self-awareness and integrity between your thoughts and actions based on that self-awareness Compassion: An open mind that without bias allows you to understand the actions of others.

To practice empathy and act on that empathy with a generous spirit that gives people what they need. Involves gratitude for the people around you that leads to an outgoing concern for others. Caring and nurturing the growth of others. Having the respect to fulfil your obligations to yourself and others and acting with a degree of wisdom. Knowing what is important. As leaders this is easier said than done. Daily we face tensions that have to managed as we try to implement our ideals real. Tjan lists five core tensions: Pragmatism versus Idealism Our ambitious goals versus reality.

Neither one is good or bad. They are a productive tension. Character is a long-term investment. Good people do five things: Good people put people first in their decision making. What does this do to my people? Good people grow by continually seeking to improve themselves and help others to become fuller versions of themselves. While good people value competency, they place a premium on character and values. They commit beyond competency to character and values of truth, compassion, and wholeness. Our mission is to support people to create their own success based on their own values, the way they see it according to their own worldview, each one of them in their unique way.

We offer a FREE minute Skype session so that you can see for yourself the benefits of coaching and find out how we work. Running a big company is both an honor and a privilege, but also a great responsibility. The coaching meetings with my personal coach Silvia Trifonova are my way to be always in the best shape, productive and most useful for my customers. The motivation and commitment of the staff are the key factors for the success of a company. Thanks to coaching with Silvia Trifonova we are pleased to see a lasting increase in motivation and responsibility in our employees.

This leads to higher customer satisfaction, which is the most important goal. Being a lawyer can be very difficult and tiresome and working on tough cases sometimes makes one lose their work-personal life balance. Coaching with Sylvia gives me a precise outlook and the absolute clarity on how far I have to change my course to maintain my success at the highest level.

With this letter I would like to thank Ms. Trifonova for her professional support. It was of utmost importance for me to have mutual trust and calmness because of the privacy in our coaching sessions. Due to the nature of my job and my position in the company, it is important for me to have a secure and reliable coach. The partnership with Lead UP brought a significant change in the effectiveness of the company. The increased commitment of our teams and improved leadership skills of people in key positions enables us to maintain a leadership position in the industry.

I highly recommend coaching as a tool for staff development and driving business growth. Thank you Lead UP team for your high professionalism and dedication in our joint work.

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