Shopping for Ghosts (Shopping for Ghosts and Other Unusualities Book 1)

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Mammy as artfully babbled about Ydonea. She showed her Mistress's jewel safe. It was not very large or heavy, but was locked with a chain to a big wardrobe trunk. The trunk in its turn was locked with a chain to the bedstead. A burglar could not therefore pick up the safe and walk out with it without shattering the trunk and bedstead. It was at present guarded by a stout man who sat on a chair with a revolver near at hand. I wondered if he might be a gangster. A second member of Ydonea's staff was posted under the window, and a gentleman, who had persistently ambulant movements for a guest, was frequently to be seen in the gallery approaching the door.

Mammy whispered that these were Pinkerton gennelmen who always guarded Miss Ydonea's jewels. I suggested that the real stones were probably in some bank, but Mammy raised her hands in pious protest. I should say not. Miss Ydonea is the real genoowine article. If she says a thing, that thing sure is true. I persisted that it was unnecessary to carry jewels about to private house parties in England.

Mammy mounted a big draught farm high-horse. It did not matter what the folks did in these out of date old castles. Miss Ydonea had better ideas. She always wore her grand jewels on Saturday night. What was the use of spending all that money on jewels if they were not to be seen and used. Miss Ydonea believed in spreading the sunshine, not in gathering up cobwebs and dust on pretty things.

I was dismissed as a dolt that had not read the papers. The Pinkerton man winked at me, and chucked Percy under the chin. I attempted to lessen the worth of the jewels, but Mammy said that the blue diamond alone was worth five hundred thousand dollars. I adopted a more pacific manner and inquired if Miss Ydonea wore grand oriental brocade with the rajah's gems. That would be too ordinairy," said Mammy, about whom I was now sure there was nothing Southern but her uniform and her name.

She was a more practised actress than Ydonea, who had acquired her in Hollywood. Miss Ydonea will have a palest, pale sea-green silk embroidered in cream, and then she looks like a northern mermaid, and all the jewels, oh, boy! I was promised a glimpse of Ydonea when dressed. Other maids now appeared for a peep at the jewel safe, and Mammy Lou went through her piece again. Her only interest in Tattingwood, other than promoting her mistress's reputation, was a possible ghost.

She was supplied with information that excited and terrified her. At a certain time of the year, according to contradictory authorities, or when there was going to be a death in the family, a ghost always paraded in the grand corridor. What shape the ghost took was not forthcoming. Suddenly all the vassals disappeared as marvellously as young turkeys when Mommer Turkey announces a hawk, and I was face to face with the master of the house.

The baron in his hall was as interested in Percy as the menials had been. Only the timid and the curmudgeon were ever above Percy's society. Percy waved his arms like a windmill and made passes at imaginary monkeys in a way natural to him. Must be careful he doesn't get out where one of the dogs will make short work of him You are very fond of him, aren't you, my girl? He examined the waste paper basket lined with Percy's bedding.

He was a man of simple interests, fond of shooting and hunting. He said there was a heavy footstool in his apartments which would make the scuttle quite safe as an anchor, and in a most democratic way took the hassock already being used and proceeded to make the change himself. We met the friendly housemaid on the way to Lord Tattingwood's rooms, which were at the other end of the grand corridor beyond the middle tower. The housemaid rushed to take the hassock. As opportunity occurred she winked at me and murmured "The old chap's findin' his way home with you!

Sing out if you need any help. Lord Tattingwood remained to place the foot-stool, and was apparently infatuated with Percy's antics. Percy, when tethered, settled down in the glow of the fire with unusual placidity.

Bring the Monkey

Lord Tattingwood seated himself on a chair near by and without preliminaries pulled me to his knee. I remembered the housemaid's offer, but did not summon help. I eyed the poker near by and struggled to free myself. Engleesh Lord, pies, pies, I good girl. I pray da Virgin all da time. I tink I hear someone coming. Lord Tattingwood resumed his game with Percy.

The eugenics of primogeniture had secured for him a coarse frame upon which sat a big red face with small eyes, a long ungainly nose, a narrow forehead and a sloppy mouth. He had one of those sandy skins, more often seen on dukes than barbers, and hair everywhere, even in his ears and nostrils. On this had Clarice Lesserman sunk decent soap-suds money. Thinking enviously of what I could do with fortune of a few pounds, I murmured with genuine dejection "la poor girl!

Swithwulf fossicked in his pockets and brought up half-a-crown.

Bring the Monkey, free ebooks, ebook, etext

He proffered it, murmuring half to himself "The old harridan keeps me deucedly short! You're a dago, aren't you? Dagoes are hot stuff. One has to pay for what one wants these days--and the man who doesn't take what he wants, when he feels like it, and the cost be damned, is a poor man. Do you know enough English to get the gist of that? He took a pin from his tie and handed it. You know where it is. I popped out in his wake. He was already at some distance.

Perhaps I hava da monk and notta get away. I returned to my quarters and examined the pin, a large pearl exactly like those priced ten bob at the Oriental jewel shops. Blasted little ape, indeed! More like a blasted big gorilla! And all that good soap-suds money wasted. We went down the grand romantic staircase together. The Chief Inspector was charming--now if he instead of Swithwulf Me stood a moment looking down at the company lapt in that comfortable idle hour that stretches between tea and dressing for dinner, when men and women say the things that have to be said or listened to, in the hope of hearing or saying otherwise.

The Elephant Hunter, by name of Brodribb, undertook to see to Percy so that he should not wreck the place. Deposited on the hearth rug, he was immediately another person. Studious, efficient, professional, he began upon his duties, the search for any unhygienic fleck or insect that might lurk within his reach. With his exquisite little hands he turned over the fur of a splendid bear rug which promised to occupy him indefinitely.

Tea is a prosaic superfluity: I had the wonderful place almost to myself for an hour, till the dressing bell should summon those responsible for the physical cleanliness of the people disporting themselves so banally in the great hall. I peeped into the drawing-rooms, peered along galleries lined with armour, took the noble vistas with an enjoyment that was compensation for existence. One could almost feel the emotions that must saturate the beams and stones of such a pile, half-hear bygone laughter, rage or grief, like the echo of an echo escaping along the stately passages.

What a theatre for lovers! How many had longed and lied there since the days of Elizabeth the Queen--from which in part it dated--to Clarice of soap, consoled for a dull lord by her handsome Chief Inspector. Well, great piles like Tattingwood Hall have been relinquished before to-day for romance, though such gambles are more glamorous when both parties to them are under thirty. Would the bulwark that Lady Tattingwood had secured against foolishness, hold? I was too weary and cold to exert myself for my role in the comedy below stairs, so I slipped into Zarl's beautiful room where the big fire was so comforting.

Zarl's things were spread towards the top of her bed, so without disturbing them I crept under the eiderdown at the foot, and aided by the warmth of the fire, set out to overtake some of the sleep which had of late eluded me. Just as I was gaining upon my desire. Lady Tattingwood entered from her room, accompanied by the Chief Inspector. Instead of passing into his own room, the Inspector turned the key in the door into the gallery and sat down with his friend before the fire. They sat in the glow of the coals which shone on the high wooden foot of the bed, but left me entirely in shadow under the eiderdown.

They were comfortably settled before I had roused sufficiently to declare myself. I hesitated, and the only unembarrassing behaviour was to remain quiet hoping they would never know of my presence. Clarice began to weep. She wept steadily and relievingly. Her companion let her alone for a few moments and then said "Well, my dear, you don't seem very happy to see me. They were all so entertained with that blessed little monkey. Did you ever see anything like it.

And Zarl never rushes up to dress till the last moment. Her hair and skin and everything are so lovely and natural she doesn't have to spend hours in making-up. Their actions were reflected in the mirror on the dressing-table. Clarice leant toward him, and he put a kindly arm around her. You are ashamed of it? But he is very cunning. He is not stupid Oh, I'm so tired of Tattingwood and what it entails I want to go away. She is always asking me about her mother. I have a struggle to evade her questions.

Some day soon I must tell her the truth. I discuss all sorts of things with her. I am teaching her to understand the romance of her parentage. I am old now, and I often wake up in the night terrified, because I have been dreaming that you were only ridiculing me. You know there has never been any woman for me but you. Surely my life has demonstrated that.

It reminds me of the war. You can have the letters, but if Swith found them it would be fatal. The Chief Inspector was gone to his room, with amusing speed. Lady Tattingwood attended to the key into the gallery, and then returned to her own room with slightly less dispatch. There were voices in the gallery, and I had just time to slide off the bed and switch on the light when Zarl turned the handle of the door. She was attended by the Elephant Hunter and Jimmy Wengham, who were in charge of Percy so that finger nails would not injure Zarl's trousered suit.

Jimmy could not forbear to tease animals and children, Percy, catching sight of me, laid his ears back for a desperate effort which carried him with a whack to my shoulder, where his nails would have lacerated my skin but for the high-necked uniform. I snatched the lead, and the little creature snuggled to me with murmurs of relief.

My little Percy he notta like you," I said. After a little banter, the two men went away to dress. Percy had subsided and was lashed to the coal scuttle. He sat on the floor squawking softly and rubbing his nose with his hand. He was a trifle hungry, kept so expressly in order to be open to bribes. Zarl was to wear my new dress, and no decorations whatever but Percy, just to contrast with Ydonea, who was to drip with trillions and crocodillions of jewels. The dress was a soft velvet, which glinted greenly in certain cross lights; a wrapped wisp to the knees, below which it flowed in undulations.

It would disclose Zarl's perfectly fashioned arms and torso with barefaced but well-grounded optimism, and heighten her "ginger. He started cutting Percy's nails with that horrid dirk till they bled. I don't know what has come over Jimmy. He seems so brutal--I don't know how I could have carried on with him even for a minute. But he wants to go to excessive lengths in love. I've been telling him to reserve such mush in case he comes down in a desert atmosphere. England is mawkishly damp already.

He always wants to go the whole engine! Some men carry even a kiss too far, if they are not curbed. It shows a deplorable lack of imagination. I'm thankful Jimmy did not quite recognise me. Swithwulf has been telling me that he was right on the rocks. Clarice had to salvage him, and Cedd put him in the way of this job with the Zaltuffrie, to tide him over. He's mad to do a world flight, but he's such a cracked-brained thing that the aeroplane people won't trust him.

He'd be likely to take off without his petrol or something like that. I confided to Zarl that I had found Clarice weeping when I came up. Seeking to discover if Zarl knew her secret, I asked "Do you suppose it hurts her when old Swith tries to be gay? Zarl laughed right out. It comes of carrying respectability too far. Clarice is not such a goat with a cast-iron throat If ever she did care, except from the point of hygiene and expense, she would have outgrown it long ago Much more likely that Cecil has said something to her. I'd like to ravish that man myself, only I would never be mean to Clarice; but you've only got to look at them to see it could not hold up--why, she looks like his grandmother, and doesn't try to mitigate it.

Miles Franklin

Where did you get it? Erconwald Spillbeans Tattingwood gave it to me for mes beaux yeux. So, while you have been adventuring, I too have not been idle. He has named a trysting place for this evening. Clarice told me once that he humiliated her by his selection of ladies. She said if only he would choose someone like me she would not feel it such a reflection, but I didn't think You are entitled to adventures among the best people.

Their lives are an artistic struggle to escape from the drabness of carrying respectability too far. Clarice will revel in this when the time comes to reveal it. This mouldy collection of oddments doesn't contain one man who could be pried loose from a life-size cigar or a bar parlour, except the Elephant Hunter or Jimmy, and each of those is more stony broke than the other, and each more luny.

With people like that it takes altogether too much effort to keep them in the platonic form, whereas the nice professor scientists don't know what is the matter with them but it works just the same The difference between you and me is that I accept the world as it is and you want to mess around and change it, and think it would or could be different if only this or that wasn't what it is. She was a delectable established fact in the green velvet. Her petite form had a lissom outline. Percy was attired in his black velvet evening shorts, specially designed for him by Madame Mabelle, with a white silk knitted singlet.

We could not have buttons on the sides of the trews because he chewed them off, but there were glass buttons at the back to fasten the tabs over his lead. Clarice entered to have a little chat with her friend before she descended to dinner. She wanted Percy to be present, and said that I could arrange for that with the butler. I agreed with alacrity. There is room and to spare in the dining hall of Tattingwood to entertain an elephant or giraffe should the lord of that manor have taste for such guests.

We spread a sheet at one corner and brought in a small heavy garden table, and on it set Percy's tiny bowl of light ware, from which he would drink in his human ultra-dainty fashion. These jobs gave me an excuse to run up and down stairs while the guests were in their burrows dressing. As I turned into the great gallery from the tower stairs the Chief Inspector, already dressed, was ahead of me, evidently going the rounds in his official capacity. His evening uniform was beyond sartorial censure, fresh yet easy, and his flesh glowed with fragrant health; a man to win any woman, and yet he seemed true to Clarice, the ineffectual, ten or twelve years his senior, and making no attempt to soften the disparity.

There was dignity in the stability of this romance when compared with those that are as fleeting as barnyard amours. If he really did not desire Clarice's fortune, it was classical, even colossical.

I looked back after him and thus collided with a form coming in the opposite direction. It was the splendiferous Indian chauffeur, Yusuf. He was not a personal attendant and should have been with the other chauffeurs above the stables, long since converted into garages. He was, no doubt, prowling as guardian of the jewels, but I was so irritated by the impact that I boxed his ears and sped to Zarl. It was time to descend. No trace of tears was now on Lady Tattingwood's hollow cheeks.

An inner radiance informed her, gave her gaiety and took ten years off her age. She was tastefully gowned in a quiet conventional style, and was a contrast for Zarl who looked like a mischievous elf in the extreme garment, with Percy wrapped in brown silk and held in the crook of her arm. Mommer and most of the retinue were downstairs, but Ydonea was still awaited.

She floated down the great staircase eventually to make an entry lifted unblushingly from the films, as sure of herself as a crowned princess in professional regalia. She approached slowly and regally and posed before one of the big fires in the lounge. Every male creature cavorted before her, casting covert glances or glaring, in key with his character.

Cedd and Jimmy led the scrimmage, but business partly dictated their attitude. Even the Chief Inspector paid court, and his distinguished appearance exacted response from Ydonea. No woman could have resisted Cecil Stopworth had he exerted himself to woo. The more astonishing therefore was his faithfulness to Clarice.

No wonder that people should doubt its reality. Lord Tattingwood alone seemed impervious to the charms of the star. He winked at me, to whom Zarl had handed Percy, and as Percy was a dinner guest I had to be with him. Lord Tattingwood came ostensibly to pat Percy, but it was my arm he squeezed, and murmured something about the rendezvous. I considered what I could do to have the fun of storing my cake against another day.

Ydonea deserved her eminence. She was not entirely auriferous. She was more beautiful than is possible in reality. She dripped with ropes and plaques of gems, and on her head had a gaudy bonnet like a Russian royal head-dress that glittered like a looking-glass at every movement. Nevertheless she was more a spectacle than a siren. In the glances of the men was little of that which was in Jimmy's as he gazed on Zarl, the mischievous champagne-bubble lure of whose glances very nearly thrilled Miss Bitcalf-Spillbeans, who disliked Percy.

He evidently liked low company, and was quite matey with me. That yellow diamond on a chain around her neck must be worth a ransom. Probably bought it from a dead-beat Russian. The blue one in the bracelet on her right wrist is genuine--could light my cigar by it. There is a rumour that the Maharajah of Thingamebob is trying to recover it.

The young cock gave it to the Zaltuffrie, and they say there are plots to rescue it--a yarn probably. He evidently knew something of jewels, had set himself up as one to be highly purchased by soapsuds, whereas I could only make soapsuds like an honest charwoman. Everyone's mind was on the jewels and their fabulous worth.

They brought a gleam even to the protective grey of the Elephant Hunter's orbs. If I had that I should be saved from bankruptcy," he remarked. If I had that I could raise the wind for my world flight, and she would never miss it. She could carry out the same effect with an imitation. Everyone passed into the dining room. Dinner was earlier than is usual at such places and put through with dispatch so that Cedd could show his original film. The jokes were poorer than the wine, the wit duller than the jewels. Percy was delighted with his part of the meal, and immensely successful as a side show.

He drank milk and water and had a crust of brown bread with a little jam on it. The exhibition was to be closely guarded owing to her jewels, but nevertheless I determined to be present. The new film was probably of more interest to me than to most of the people present. I meant to gain admittance through Percy. He was still of interest to Ydonea, and so dazzled by her display that he might have been a reincarnated pawn-broker.

He danced at sight of the gems and boldly clutched them, seeing in them so many opportunities for trying his teeth. Everyone passed towards the lounge with the exception of Miss Zaltuffrie, Jimmy and the Elephant Hunter. Wengham took the sheet that had been spread for Percy and jumped about with it. Say Miss Zaltuffrie, they have a colossal family ghost here.

Wouldn't it be coloss if he let you have a squint at him? He's a murderous old boy--appears only for something disagreeable, or out-and-out tragedy. Always cutting-up so that I don't know when he's in earnest, or what stunt he'll throw next. But he's ever so 'cute! I passed her another chestnut for Percy, and this was even more enticing than the jewels. Verree, verree great luck--what you say, da mascot, when Percy he acta lika dat," I murmured. When Percy clung to her he clung to a chair leg when he objected to removal , she said he must sit beside her at the film show, and this was according to calculations.

As Jimmy Wengham came from the dining-room he detained me a moment by flinging the sheet over Percy, and while enjoying his frantic movements demanded, "Say, I've seen you before with Zarl, haven't I? Has Zarl struck it rich that she can run to the personal maid business?

Percy having extricated himself from the sheet, gave a warning guff, and the stately Yusuf was to be seen standing within earshot behind an armoured knight. I'll see Zarl after the show. Ydonea nevertheless felt the draughts which distinguish the best of English hospitality to the most ordinary American visitor, and Mommer said she must have a wrap. She went for it herself and invited me to accompany her to show the way. Can you beat it! I'll say you can't! What do you suppose makes the English like they are?

I should think the climate would kinda drive people with good sense in their heads to a few ordinary comforts. I didn't think a whole lot of their cooking. It needs a little something to digest it. To that end she secured a liberal supply of chewing gum of assertive aroma, as well as a fur wrap. When we regained the company she gave some of the digestive to Ydonea, who immediately proffered it to Zarl and the Elephant Hunter. The fur wrap obscured a little of Ydonea's obscene glitter and made her increasingly attractive to Percy. He loves to nestle in fur, and better still to search it for particles of loose skin.

No matter how full of "lepps" he may be, he will immediately assume a professional air if there is a bit of fur, or a head, eyebrow or arm to be inspected. Never is he more fascinating than when his exquisitely fashioned little hands, with the perfect fingers and undersized inadequate thumbs are instruments of research. Ydonea was noisy with delight. I was firmly established beside her.

She said Percy was a whole haystack of fun, and better than a muff to keep her hands warm. She let him chew her bracelets without qualms, while I sat in the next chair holding his lead and also a woollen scarf with which to extinguish him should he become obstreperous. In addition to Ydonea's followers, already mentioned, were several prominent journalists and dramatic critics. These were augmented by after-dinner arrivals from the neighborhood, including a clergyman, a master of fox hounds, a retired general, a colonel, some scraggy women and some pretty girl's.

The new arrivals feasted their eyes on Ydonea's aurora borealis splendour. Her genuine beauty almost disarmed their snobbish prejudice, but the film magnates were a. Mommer distributing chewing gum was such a fitting phenomenon that it oiled the superiority complexes to good humour. One old general regarded her gift with a haughty such-things-simply-aren't-done expression, but a M.

Miss Bitcalf-Spillbeans accompanied a blighting glance with "Really! The monkey must feel quite at home. This evidently inspired the Elephant Hunter and Zarl to private whisperings and to request extra sticks of chewing-gum from Mommer, which they chewed ostentatiously.

Zarl as well as Ydonea had a ring of admirers, though Zarl was thrown away on that company, and contemptuous of them. She can listen so brilliantly to those worthy of her gifts, that after expounding themselves, great men have frequently been inspired to distinguished undertakings. Even commoner ones can be intoxicated by her attention. The siren and the spectacle. Carnal beauty and inspiring seductiveness were in contrast or constellation.

Ydonea had no conversation beyond a few standardised pleasantries. The men followed her as a commercial bonanza in the hope of a surplus with which to purchase the seduction of a Zarl. Cecil Stopworth was particular about seating the company because he and his staff were responsible for those jewels, and the room, which had a number of exits, was to be darkened. Two of Ydonea's private detectives, and Detective-Sergeant Beeton and Detective-Constable Manning were re-examining windows and doors, and were finally stationed at the direction of their Chief.

Cedd had retained two or three of his father's staff to supplement his own, and in addition, the only menials in the film hall were myself, Mammy Lou, and Yusuf, the Indian chauffeur. Stopworth insisted upon Yusuf being near one of the doors, where he himself was standing, and placed Mammy Lou in a front seat, where what light there was would fall on her. He permitted me to remain beside the star. When he was satisfied with the doors and windows, he came to Ydonea and asked her in a low tone to entrust him with the big yellow diamond that hung at her throat.

It was on such a slender chain that he said he would feel happier if he were its custodian for the next hour or two. He made his request with such a smile that I was more than ever enamoured of his charm. Zarl too watched his every movement. She was sitting immediately behind Ydonea, and beside the Elephant Hunter, who was on the aisle.

But one protects the illusions of one's friends. Cecil has got into the habit of philandering inexpensively and harmlessly with women above him financially, but he works too hard and has too little money to be dangerous. A mighty pleasant fellow at a pawnbroker's show like this. Clarice can let him do the worrying about the jewels. Ydonea removed her diamond without hesitation and handed it to the Chief Inspector, who placed it in an inner breast pocket.

She was surrounded by protectors. On the other side of her sat Jimmy Wengham, by the aisle, immediately in front of the Elephant Hunter. Lord Tattingwood sat on the other side of me. He had so far not made any remark upon my defection from the appointment he had made. When the Chief Inspector announced that he was ready, the film magnates hushed their loud technical conversation and seated themselves towards the rear of the theatre.

The lights were then turned off. There was none remaining except that cast by the silver screen. Clarice had been generous in helping her stepson with his career. His cinema hall was a drawing-room beyond the dining hall, fitted with seats on three tiers and with a fine screen and all modern devices. Something unusual was expected of Cedd. It was quite an occasion to be present at this showing. The film was prefaced by a formidable list of operators from the man who emptied the waste paper baskets to the one who guided the camera--not one was missed.

There was no suggestion of an author. Cedd was listed twice, as continuity expert and producer. The film magnates clapped and guffawed. What a tradesman he is, as well as an artist. The wonder of the blue diamond in Ydonea's bracelet could be gauged in the semi-darkness.

It caught light from some source and glowed like a flame, now white, now blue. I missed some of the film shots to observe it. I missed still others through Lord Tattingwood's attempt to enjoy a petting party in the darkness, which was eventually retarded by a pin that caused him to start and emit a grunt. Percy was restless, waving his arms and casting about after silhouettes so that I was thoroughly engaged.

He was finally attracted by the gleam of the blue diamond, and Ydonea in her grand way unclasped the priceless band from her arm and put it around his neck. Percy's fingers are so strong and deft that Zarl warned that he might pluck the stones from their setting. Ydonea said they could easily be reset. Percy was so engrossed with trying his teeth on the diamonds that I must confess to absorption in the film and carelessness with his lead.

I was resting on the fact that he is very quiet in the dark. Suddenly the leather rushed through my fingers following a warning guff from its wearer. Simultaneously with the disappearing leash, Ydonea arose shrieking that someone had hit her. The lights did not come on as quickly as to be expected, seeing that Stopworth had stationed himself beside the main switch. When the lights came on, the Chief Inspector's hair was disarranged and his face looked red, but he was thoroughly in command of the situation, and ordered everyone to stay put.

Zarl said that probably it was Percy that gave her a clout with his hind hands or lead as he leaped away with the bracelet. There was no accounting for the suddenness of Percy's "lepps. Some people will do anything for a little notoriety. Yusuf was at the door begging excitedly to be let out to hunt the thief. He said he was guardian of the blue diamond, which was sacred, that the thief had escaped and he must pursue him immediately. Needless to say he was not allowed to go out, but was ordered to remain near Lord Tattingwood.

I wished to go out to pursue Percy, as a hurried search did not reveal him under any of the chairs nor behind curtains or pictures. Percy and the bracelet seemed to be missing. The forest at the edge of the swamp put on a crystal shell, which began to melt as soon as the sun appeared. The sound of drops was heard all morning. Kalmykia, State Reserve "Black Lands" These babies were born in the morning and were hungry for the time while mom was not around. Mom stayed away from them, to not attract the attention of wolves.

But making sure that there was no danger it was ready to feed small saigas, so that they would gain strength faster. When I finished shooting, I noticed a small bear, skillfully masked in the root of a fallen tree. Its ingenuity brought a good result, because from time to time it managed to catch a sockeye salmon passing by. Beautiful trees, golden crimson foliage, emerald coasts overgrown with moss and such calm and majestic Kamchatka bears. This is a real autumn fairy tale. Nizhny Novgorod Region, Bukaley village A woman is knitting a bast wisp from a dried linden bast.

Bukaley is a tiny village of 47 inhabitants in the Nizhny Novgorod region, in which everyone without exception is engaged in ancient craft of making washcloths. In the middle of the 19th century, geographer Petr Keppen counted thousands of peasants only in eight Volga provinces, which were engaged in this craft, but nowadays only few people have these skills.

Bukaleytsi is one of them. They do not know of any other work, other than related to the bast. In Soviet times, they worked in the artel for the manufacture of mats - nowadays they are weaving bast shoes, knit bath rags and paint brushes for whitewashing. Mobile nursery Mobile nursery Location: A stack of 5 shots. Last pier Last pier Location: Okhotsk Sea, Tunguska Bay. Tug MB on the rocks. Crimea, Novy Svet village Greek juniper. Juniper is a long-lived tree. Some species live up to thousand years. There are about ten such trees in Crimea Early morning on a swan lake Early morning on a swan lake Location: Lake Svetloye, Altai territory For wintering, the swans arrive in the reserve in November and fly to the surrounding reservoirs.

As water freezes, the birds concentrate on the ice-free Lake Svetloye and the channels of the Kokshi River. Swans fly away in the first decade of April. Swans constantly stick together. So that the basis for legends about Swan fidelity are the real facts, and only in the case of the death of its partner a swan will look for a replacement. Hiding behind a straw. It is a hot day and dragonflies hide from the sun behind the reeds and straws.

Ice explosion Ice explosion Location: Baikal Even in winter covered in snow, Baikal breathes. Deep explosions, cracks of ice are heard. If you listen, it is a melody, performed on unusual instruments. The tension of the ice is so high that when the temperature drops, every step is reflected on the ice in the form of a crack. The ice of Lake Baikal resembles the Earth's crust that is why seismologists simulate earthquakes by explosions to study seismic processes in the earth's crust.

Chukotka Flight of a raven over the ice in the Chukchi Sea. Bering Island, the Commander Islands, nature reserve Northern fur seals under the water are very active and playful. They are ready to play with everything that floats by. Hunt for mice, there is a hunt Yaroslavl region Hawkish owl at the time of hunting. On top of the world On top of the world Location: Plescheevo Lake National Park Young osprey before flying out of the nest. The ospreys build their nests on the tallest trees.

Thus creating a magnificent overview of the surrounding area. It is almost impossible to approach an osprey nest unseen. The shooting was made from a quadrocopter, to which the birds did not pay much attention. Place for fire Place for fire Location: The tourist is burning dry grass to make a fire. The shore of the Laya river. May 8, Spring — the time for talents Spring — the time for talents Location: Moscow region, Taldom district The cranes are on their way in a sunny golden haze.

Chukotka, Inchoun In order to preserve small nations, the Chukchi are allowed to hunt whales. In the village of Inchoun Chukotka , there are inhabitants and they can kill 10 whales per year. On the photo there are children; one of them has begun to cut a dead whale. Chukotka, Inchoun village As part of the preservation of small peoples, the Chukchi are allowed to hunt whales.

In the village of Inchoun Chukotka , inhabitants and they can kill 10 whales a year. Toporkov Island, Komandorsky Nature Reserve Anthur an island seal or a Steinheger seal is the rarest species of seals. And the meeting with this animal in the underwater "forest" laminar of the island of Toporkov was an incredible success and great adventure for me. Playing with reflection Playing with reflection Location: Lake Baikal, Ust-Barguzin bay.

The Baikal seal calf has found an air bubble under the ice and is trying to breathe from it. Water procedures Water procedures Location: Moscow region Springtails Collembolas are the smallest wingless insects. The size of these crumbs is less than a millimeter.

They usually live on decaying trees, in the grass, in the forest. They are very hydrophilous and, if you look closely, they can be seen in large numbers on the surface of the water in the most ordinary puddles or even in water tanks in a garden. Using a macro lens it is possible to see how they flirt with each other, hunt or amusingly wash. Moscow region Cellar spiders or daddy long-legs spider. Its proportions are such that if you look only at its body, it seems that it hovers in the air.

Catcher of the light Catcher of the light Location: Voronezh region, Usmansky bor Eastern pasqueflower, or prairie crocus Pulsatilla patens. South Kamchatka Federal Wildlife Zakaznik Among the pancake ice, the female bear continues to insist on looking for fish. Leningrad region A very bright bird, similar to a bullfinch, eats frozen Chinese apples. It is also called a Finnish parrot for the brightness of color and a thick beak.

Leningrad region, the Kurgalsky Peninsula Midges, spider webs, dew and one morning day in August in the swamp. Kabansky Federal Wildlife Zakaznik, Selenga delta In the colony of gray herons, chicks are about to appear. Bering Island, Commander Islands Resting after a long journey, I was lucky to see a beautiful picture: A male partridge goes behind.

It decided to show the lady a master class on going down the hill from the mountains on its paws. Toporkov Island, Commander Islands Red-faced cormorants in the pairing season are very beautiful birds. Little king of the Arctic Little king of the Arctic Location: This amazing shellfish is very small in size - only cm, but it is an active predator, hunting only for one victim - the other winged mollusk, the tiny Limacina helicina. The photo captures a unique moment of hunting, when the angel opens its head and for a fraction of a second throws an effective crown of 6 huge hunting tentacles, with which it tries to grab its prey.

Giant Pacific octopus Giant Pacific octopus Location: Each octopus has its own possessions, where it hunts and collects large bivalve mollusks, which are dragged to its burrow, where it eats them, drilling hard shells with a sharp beak. Octopuses engage in a deadly battle with other octopuses, who are close to their house. The largest octopuses reach 9 meters in the span of the tentacles. In rare moments, you can find giant octopuses next to their hole, thoughtfully sorting out empty shells or simply resting.

Scillas in high-key lighting Scillas in high-key lighting Location: Voronezh region Siberian Scilla. Dunilovo village, Yaroslavl region Evening in the village of Dunilovo. Yaroslavl region Near the blue sea Near the blue sea Location: Caucasus Reserve When a herd of aurochs is dispersed along the ridge so as not to interfere with one another's rest, one always remains on top of a mountain or a crest to watch the situation. In case of danger, it will signal the rest of the herd. Leaving in the fog Leaving in the fog Location: Kuril Lake The bear is wandering along the shore of the lake in the morning mist.

Sea of Japan, Rudnaya Bay Billions of small mysids gathered together are already krill and are one of the most important links in the food chain of the world ocean. We can observe them in huge numbers under water in May. They exist as a single unit and as an integral living object. South Kamchatka Federal Wildlife Refuge Conflict of the sea eagle and golden eagle on the spawning river.

Sea of Japan, Rudnaya Bay One of the most memorable fish of Primorye, you will not mistake it for any other type of fish. It is a very curious fish, often swims out to meet a diver and takes food from hand. Burnt tree Burnt tree Location: Ingushetia Ingushetia Time Time Location: No whistling of the wind, no chirping of birds, no leaves rustling. Only the smell of rotten foliage, the aroma of cranberries and unpleasant damp moisture. It seems that the nature has frozen for a moment in anticipation of winter. For a moment of the last autumn days Moments of the polar night Moments of the polar night Location: Priuralsky district, Yamal It was difficult to enjoy the sacrament of the Northern Lights due to severe frost, although it was the forest that created this magic.

Snowy needles in the trees and green flickers in the sky, the crunch of the underfoot and the blue smoke from the chimney, the smells of fresh fir-needles and the sound of a deer in the distance - all this created a unique aura of the winter night forest-tundra Beetle Beetle Location: Sakhalin oblast, Sakhalin, east coast, settlement of Starodubskoye Stuck in the ice a whale stranded on the eastern coast of Sakhalin Island. Rescuers and volunteers are trying to raise it with their hands to move to deeper water.

Amur region In search of food Lipetsk region Racing the reflection Racing the reflection Location: Rytkuci Tundra A girl is looking out of the fur tent. The reindeer herding camp in the Rytkucin tundra Neshkanskaya tundra Neshkanskaya tundra Location: Neshkanskaya tundra The reindeer breeder comes back from duty in the herd. There is a blizzard on the way Erzi Erzi Location: The suburbs of Birobidzhan Restructuring Restructuring Location: Ivanovo region Heat, on the land mosquitoes keep bothering elk and it does not want to get out of the water.

Tver Region In early May, the toads crawl to the ponds to lay eggs, which they hang like beads on undersea vegetation or snags. Sometimes toad couples also braid themselves with these beads. It is not easy at this time to find ponds with clear water to capture this action. Norilsk The nickel plant was opened in Norilsk in and closed in ; production is now rendered from the city center, away from people's homes. Ulyanovsk A deer wagon train A deer wagon train Location: Voronezh Region, edge of oak forest Intracameral multi-exposure.

Narimanov district, Astrakhan region In spring I met a family of corsac foxes, corsacs lat. During the month I watched them and during this time I saw many interesting moments from their life. The species Corsacs wilpes corsac is listed in the International Red Book. Adzhigardak Range, South Ural. Just two hours of skiing from my small town and you appear to be on another planet, the entrance to which is guarded by an ice troll.

And behind it, a windswept plateau where trees sleep under a thick layer of snow and ice creating unimaginable forms and scope for imagination. Stone peace Stone peace Location: The Akkem river valley. Absolute silence and crystal clear air. There is Khan Alai in the background. The whole place is filled with strength, which is felt even physically. Omsk Wedding gift Wedding gift Location: Nizhny Novgorod region, the Satis river, near the town of Sarov A wedding ceremony of kingfishers is a very touching event. The male, to attract attention from its beloved lady, gives it a caught fish as a present.

Not years fly, but logs Not years fly, but logs Location: Arkhangelsk region, Ustyansky district. First chick First chick Location: Smolensk region Successful hunt Successful hunt Location: The shot was taken at the bottom of the volcanoes Koryaksky and Avachinsky , where parkas the Arctic ground squirrel live.

A stone that rises above a dry river is a convenient spot for a parka to observe the surroundings from it. Nearby there is a trail along which tourists go to conquer the Avachinsky volcano. The parka was quietly and peacefully resting on the stone whistling and looking around, but suddenly people appeared in the distance and the animal began to shout loudly warning others about the danger.

Mountains, barchan dunes and morning light Mountains, barchan dunes and morning light Location: Kamchatka Region, Lazo Photographs were taken in extreme conditions of severe Kamchatka winter Up to It lasted from sunset to dawn. In the foreground there is the volcano Tolbachik ,4. In the background there is the volcanoes Kamen Part of the Klyuchevskaya nature park. Art Island Island Location: The natural park of Ergaki. A foggy morning on the Lake of Artists Khudozhnikov. The beginning of the dynasty The beginning of the dynasty Location: Kostroma Photo taken in Kostroma.

In the windows of an old residential house the domes of the Ipatiev Monastery are reflected, from where the first Romanov was called to reign. Faster than wind Faster than wind Location: Lovozero village, Murmansk region Racing of Saami a small people of Northern Europe on reindeer team in the village of Lovozero. In late March, the traditional "Holiday of the North" is celebrated in the Murmansk region. To create a dynamic effect, a camera shooting technique was used, followed by a moving object at a long shutter speed to blur the background.

Ura-Guba settlement, Murmansk region. Polar lights in the Murmansk region. The old fishing seiner at the pier is illuminated by bright moonlight and a spiral of the Polar Lights, which creates a chilling atmosphere of the cold North. Exposure 13 sec, aperture 5. Russia, Vologda oblast Return Return Location: Avacha Bay One of the universally recognized pearls of Kamchatka is Avacha bay. Located in the vicinity of several volcanoes, it, depending on the weather conditions, can change its appearance hourly, and even every minute.

The photo depicts the way from the bay to the Pacific ocean limited by two capes during the calmness of the cyclone. Urozhaynoye, Altai Krai Every winter whooping swans arrive from Polar regions of Russia to the village of Urozhaynoye. The estimated number of swans on the lake is up to individuals. You can observe swans forever: Kostroma A years-old wooden temple built without a single nail. Wooden churches of Russia Wooden churches of Russia Location: Big Nikolskoye, Bondar district, Tambov region The church of the village of Bolshaya Nikolskoe is slowly being destroyed Tailings dam Tailings dam Location: Storage of gangue after enrichment of iron ore.

Industrial explosion Industrial explosion Location: Iron ore field of NLMK. Yamal Filmed in the camp of reindeer herders of the Khanty people. It is located in the Altai territory. We fed the swans with bread. I really enjoyed photographing the swans. It was interesting to watch them - they had some kind of their own life Walking through one of the parks of Pushkin, I met a squirrel eating a nut not far from the pond. Baikal Treasures Baikal Treasures Location: North Baikal Baikal treasures. Winter Baikal is insanely beautiful. Even though it is difficult and dangerous to travel around it, in exchange it can give you priceless treasures.

Russia, Murmansk, Gorelyaya hill. Voroniy stone is the most famous megalith of Murman. Someone considers it seita, someone - the oldest astronomical observatory. The death trap The death trap Location: There are giants that will walk by, though sound asleep. There are things that are theorems and things that are rags: Here and there will flit little harlots. But many are of the highest respectability. There are pale stenches and gaunt superstitions and mere shadows and lively malices: The nai've and the pedantic and the bizarre and the grotesque and the sincere and the insincere, the profound and the puerile.

The ultra-respectable, but the condemned, anyway. The aggregate appearance is of dignity and dissoluteness: The power that has said to all these things that they are damned, is Dogmatic Science. The little harlots will caper, and freaks will distract attention, and the clowns will break the rhythm of the whole with their buf- fooneries but the solidity of the procession as a whole: So, by the damned, I mean the excluded.

But by the excluded I mean that which will some day be the excluding. Or everything that is, won't be. And everything that isn't, will be - But, of course, will be that which won't be - It is our expression that the flux between that which isn't and that which won't be, or the state that is commonly and absurdly called "existence," is a rhythm of heavens and hells: The inference is that some day our accursed tatterdemalions will be sleek angels. Then the sub-inference is that some later day, back they'll go whence they came.

It is our expression that nothing can attempt to be, except by attempting to exclude something else: But it is our expression that there are no positive differences: Mouse and a bug: They're there a week, or they stay there a month: I think we're all bugs and mice, and are only different expressions of an all-inclusive cheese.

Or that red is not positively different from yellow: So then that, if, upon the basis of yellowness and redness, Scien e should attempt to classify all phenomena, including all red things as veritable, and excluding all yellow things as false or illusory, the demarcation would have to be false and arbitrary, because things colored orange, constituting continuity, would belong on both sides of the attempted border-line.

As we go along, we shall be impressed with this: Science has, by appeal to various bases, included a multitude of data. Had it not done so, there would be nothing with which to seem to be. Science has, by appeal to various bases, excluded a multitude of data. Then, if redness is continuous with yellowness: In redness and yellowness, which merge in orangeness, we typify all tests, all standards, all means of forming an opinion Or that any positive opinion upon any subject is illusion built upon the fallacy that there are positive differences to judge by That the quest of all intellection has been for something a fact, a basis, a generalization, law, formula, a major premise that is posi- tive: What is a house?

It is not possible to say what anything is, as positively distin- guished from anything else, if there are no positive differences. A barn is a house, if one lives in it. If residence constitutes houseness, because style of architecture does not, then a bird's nest is a house: So no one has ever been able to say what electricity is, for in- stance. It isn'l anything, as positively distinguished from heat or magnetism or life. Metaphysicians and theologians and biologists have tried to define life. They have failed, because, in a positive sense, there is nothing to define: White coral islands in a dark blue sea.

Their seeming of distinctness: The difference between sea and land is i jt positive. In all water there is some earth: So then that all seeming things are not things at all, if all are inter-continuous, any more than is the leg of a table a thing in itself, if it is only a projection from something else: Our general expression has two aspects: Conventional monism, or that all "things" that seem to have identity of their own are only islands that are projections from something underlying, and have no real outlines of their own.

But that all "things," though only projections, are projections that are striving to break away from the underlying that denies them identity of their own. I conceive of one inter-continuous nexus, in which and of which, all seeming things are only different expressions, but in which all things are localizations of one attempt to break away and become real things, or to establish entity or positive difference or final de- marcation or unmodified independence or personality or soul, as it is called in human phenomena That anything that tries to establish itself as a real, or positive, or absolute system, government, organization, self, soul, entity, in- dividuality, can so attempt only by drawing a line about itself, or about the inclusions that constitute itself, and damning or excluding, or breaking away from, all other "things": That, if it does not so act, it can not seem to be; That, if it does so act, it falsely and arbitrarily and futilely and disastrously acts, just as would one who draws a circle in the sea, including a few waves, saying that the other waves, with which the included are continuous, are positively different, and stakes his life upon maintaining that the admitted and the damned are positively different.

Our expression is that our whole existence is animation of the local by an ideal that is realizable only in the universal: That, if all exclusions are false, because always are included and excluded continuous: That it has falsely excluded, because there are no positive stand- ards to judge by: That the state that is commonly and absurdly called "existence," is a flow, or a current, or an attempt, from negativeness to positive- ness, and is intermediate to both.

By positiveness we mean: Harmony, equilibrium, order, regularity, stability, consistency, unity, realness, system, government, organization, liberty, independ- ence, soul, self, personality, entity, individuality, truth, beauty, jus- tice, perfection, definiteness That all that is called development, progress, or evolution is move- ment toward, or attempt toward, this state for which, or for aspects of which, there are so many names, all of which are summed up in the one word "positiveness. At first it may seem that all these words are not synonyms: We speak of the "system" of the planets, and not of their "government": It used to be customary to speak of chemic equilibrium, but not of social equilibrium: We shall see that by all these words we mean the same state.

As every-day conveniences, or in terms of common illusions, of course, they are not synonyms. To a child an earth worm is not an animal. It is to the biologist. By "beauty," I mean that which seems complete. Obversely, that the incomplete, or the mutilated, is the ugly. A hand thought of only as a hand, may seem beautiful. Found on a battlefield obviously a part not beautiful. But everything in our experience is only a part of something else that in turn is only a part of still something else or that there is nothing beautiful in our experience: By stability, we mean the immovable and the unaffected.

But all seeming things are only reactions to something else. Stability, too, then, can be only the universal, or that besides which there is nothing else. Though some things seem to have or have higher approximations to stability than have others, there are, in our ex- perience, only various degrees of intermediateness to stability and instability.

Every man, then, who works for stability under its various names of "permanency," "survival," "duration," is striving to localize in something the state that is realizable only in the uni- versal. By independence, entity, and individuality, I can mean only that besides which there is nothing else, if given only two things, they must be continuous and mutually affective, if everything is only a reaction to something else, and any two things would be destructive of each other's independence, entity, or individuality. All attempted organizations and systems and consistencies, some approximating far higher than others, but all only intermediate to Order and Disorder, fail eventually because of their relations with outside forces.

All are attempted completenesses. If to all local phenomena there are always outside forces, these attempts, too, are realizable only in the state of completeness, or that to which there are no outside forces. Or that all these words are synonyms, all meaning the state that we call the positive state That our whole "existence" is a striving for the positive state.

The amazing paradox of it all: That all things are trying to become the universal by excluding other things. The religious and their idea or ideal of the soul. They mean dis- tinct, stable entity, or a state that is independent, and not a mere flux of vibrations or complex of reactions to environment, continuous with environment, merging away with an infinitude of other inter- dependent complexes. But the only thing that would not merge away into something else would be that besides which there is nothing else.

That Truth is only another name for the positive state, or that the quest for Truth, is the attempt to achieve positiveness: Scientists who have thought that they were seeking Truth, but who were trying to find out astronomic, or chemic, or biologic truths. But Truth is that besides which there is nothing: So chemists have sought the true, or the real, and have always failed in their endeavors, because of the outside relations of chemical phenomena: And artists and their striving for positiveness, under the name of "harmony" but their pigments that are oxydizing, or are respond- ing to a deranging environment or the strings of musical instru- ments that are differently and disturbingly adjusting to outside chemic and thermal and gravitational forces again and again this oneness of all ideals, and that it is the attempt to be, or to achieve, locally, that which is realizable only universally.

In our experi- ence there is only intermediateness to harmony and discord. Har- mony is that besides which there are no outside forces. And nations that have fought with only one motive: And that nothing but intermediateness has ever been attained, and that history is record of failures of. As to physical things, chemic, mineralogic, astronomic, it is not customary to say that they act to achieve Truth or Entity, but it is understood that all motions are toward Equilibrium: All biologic phenomena act to adjust: Adjustment is another name for Equilibrium.

Equilibrium is the Universal, or that which has nothing external to derange it. But that all that we call "being" is motion: That all phenomena in our intermediate state, or quasi-state, represent this one attempt to organize, stabilize, harmonize, indi- vidualize or to positivize, or to become real: That only to have seeming is to express failure or intermediate- ness to final failure and final success; That every attempt that is observable is defeated by Conti- nuity, or by outside forces or by the excluded that are continuous with the included: That our whole "existence" is an attempt by the relative to be the absolute, or by the local to be the universal.

In this book, my interest is in this attempt as manifested in modern science: That it has attempted to be real, true, final, complete, absolute: That, if the seeming of being, here, in our quasi-state, is the product of exclusion that is always false and arbitrary, if always are included and excluded continuous, the whole seeming system, or entity, of modern science is only quasi-system, or quasi-entity, wrought by the same false and arbitrary process as that by which the still less positive system that preceded it, or the theological system, wrought the illusion of its being.

In this book, I assemble some of the data that I think are of the falsely and arbitrarily excluded. I have gone into the outer darkness of scientific and philosophical transactions and proceedings, ultra-respectable, but covered with the dust of disregard. I have descended into journalism. I have come back with the quasi-souls of lost data.

As to the logic of our expressions to come That there is only quasi-logic in our mode of seeming: That nothing ever has been proved Because there is nothing to prove. When I say that there is nothing to prove, I mean that to those who accept Continuity, or the merging away of all phenomena into other phenomena, without positive demarcations one from another, there is, in a positive sense, no one thing.

There is nothing to prove. For instance nothing can be proved to be an animal because animalness and vegetableness are not positively different. There are some expressions of life that are as much vegetable as animal, or that represent the merging of animalness and vegetableness. There is then no positive test, standard, criterion, means of forming an opinion.

As distinct from vegetables, animals do not exist. Nothing could be proved to be good, for instance. There is nothing in our "existence" that is good, in a positive sense, or as really outlined from evil. If to forgive be good in times of peace, it is evil in wartime. There is nothing to prove: As to what I'm trying to do now I accept only. If I can't see universally, I only localize. So, of course then, that nothing ever has been proved: That theological pronouncements are as much open to doubt as ever they were, but that, by a hypnotizing process, they became dominant over the majority of minds in their era; That, in a succeeding era, the laws, dogmas, formulas, principles, of materialistic science never were proved, because they are only localizations simulating the universal; but that the leading minds of their era of dominance were hypnotized into more or less firmly believing them.

Newton's three laws, and that they are attempts to achieve posi- tiveness, or to defy and break Continuity, and are as unreal as are all other attempts to localize the universal: Enormities and preposterousnesses will march. They will be "proved" as well as Moses or Darwin or Lyell ever "proved" anything. We substitute acceptance for belief. Cells of an embryo take on different appearances in different eras. The more firmly established, the more difficult to change. That social organism is embryonic. That firmly to believe is to impede development. That only temporarily to accept is to facilitate.

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Except that we substitute acceptance for belief, our methods will be the conventional methods; the means by which every belief has been formulated and supported: Because, if all phenomena are continuous, there can be no positively different methods. By the inconclusive means and methods of cardinal? If it function as an expression of its era, it will prevail. All sciences begin with attempts to define. Nothing ever has been defined. Because there is nothing to define.

Nothing has ever been finally found out. Because there is nothing final to find out. It's like looking for a needle that no one ever lost in a haystack that never was But that all scientific attempts really to find out something, whereas really there is nothing to find out, are attempts, themselves, really to be something. A seeker of Truth.

He will never find it. But the dimmest of possibilities he may himself become Truth. Or that science is more than an inquiry: That is it a pseudo-construction, or a quasi-organization: That ours is a pseudo-existence, and that all appearances in it partake of its essential fictitiousness But that some appearances approximate far more highly to the positive state than do others. We conceive of all "things" as occupying gradations, or steps in series between positiveness and negativeness, or realness and unreal- ness: We are not realists. We are not idealists.

We are intermediat- ists that nothing is real, but that nothing is unreal: That our whole quasi-existence is an intermediate stage between positiveness and negativeness or realness and unrealness. Like purgatory, I think. But in our summing up, which was very sketchily done, we omit- ted to make clear that Realness is an aspect of the positive state. By Realness, I mean that which does not merge away into some- thing else, and that which is not partly something else: By a real hero, we mean one who is not partly a coward, or whose actions and notives do not merge away into cowardice.

That, though the local might be universalized, it is not conceiv- able that the universal can be localized: That all progress, if all progress is toward stability, organization, harmony, consistency, or positiveness, is the attempt to become real. So, then, in general metaphysical terms, our expression is that, like a purgatory, all that is commonly called "existence," which we call Intermediateness, is quasi-existence, neither real nor unreal, but expression of attempt to become real, or to generate for or recruit a real existence.

Our acceptance is that Science, though usually thought of so specifically, or in its own local terms, usually supposed to be a prying into old bones, bugs, unsavory messes, is an expression of this one spirit animating all Intermediateness: Its seeming approximation to consistency, stability, system positiveness or realness is sustained by damning the irreconcilable or the unassimilable All would be well. All would be heavenly - If the damned would only stay damned. Also there were blue moons. I think that one is likely to smile incredulously at the notion of blue moons.

Nevertheless they were as common as were green suns in Science had to account for these unconventionalities. Such pub- lications as Nature and Knowledge were besieged with inquiries. I suppose, in Alaska and in the South Sea Islands, all the medi- cine men were similarly upon trial. Something had to be thought of. Upon the 28th of August, , the volcano of Krakatoa, of the Straits of Sunda, had blown up. Seems just a little unscientific, or impositive, to me: The volume of smoke that went up must have been visible to other planets or, tormented with our crawlings and scurryings, the earth complained to Mars; swore a vast black oath at us.

In all text-books that mention this occurrence no exception so far as I have read it is said that the extraordinary atmospheric effects of were first noticed in the last of August or the first of September.

That makes a difficulty for us. It is said that these phenomena were caused by particles of vol- canic dust that were cast high in the air by Krakatoa. This is the explanation that was agreed upon in But for seven years the atmospheric phenomena continued Except that, in the seven, there was a lapse of several years and where was the volcanic dust all that time? You'd think that such a question as that would make trouble?

Then you haven't studied hypnosis. You have never tried to demonstrate to a hypnotic that a table is not a hippopotamus. Point out a hundred reasons for saying that a hippopotamus is not a table: Well, that's what the hippopotamus seems to be. So how can you prove that something is not something else, when neither is something else some other thing? There's nothing to prove. This is one of the profundities that we advertised in advance. You can oppose an absurdity only with some other absurdity.

But Science is established preposterousness. We divide all intellec- tion: I don't know what whopper the medicine men told. We see, from the start, the very strong inclination of science to deny, as much as it can, external relations of this earth. This book is an assemblage of data of external relations of this earth. We take the position that our data have been damned, upon no consideration for individual merits or demerits, but in conformity with a general attempt to hold out for isolation of this earth.

This is attempted positiveness. We take the position that science can no more succeed than, in a similar endeavor, could the Chinese, or than could the United States. So then, with only pseudo-consideration of the phenomena of , or as an expression of positivism in its aspect of isolation, or unrelatedness, scientists have perpetrated such an enormity as suspension of volcanic dust seven years in the air disregarding the lapse of several years rather than to admit the arrival of dust from somewhere beyond this earth. Not that scien- tists themselves have ever achieved positiveness, in its aspect of unitedness, among themselves because Nordenskiold, before , wrote a great deal upon his theory of cosmic dust, and Prof.

Cleve- land Abbe contended against the Krakatoan explanation but that this is the orthodoxy of the main body of scientists. My own chief reason for indignation here: That this preposterous explanation interferes with some of my own enormities. It would cost me too much explaining, if I should have to admit that this earth's atmosphere has such sustrining power.

Later, we shall have data of things that have gone up in the air and that have stayed up somewhere weeks months but not bv the sustaining power of this earth's atmosphere. For instance, tht- turtle of Vicksburg. When it comes to the horse and the barn I think that they'll be classics some day, but I can never accept that a horse and a barn could float several months in this earth's atmosphere. It comes out absolutely for the orthodox explanation absolutely and beautifully, also expensively. There are pages in the "Report," and 40 plates, some of them marvellously colored.

It was issued after an investigation that took five years. You couldn't think of anything done more efficiently, artistically, author- itatively. The mathematical parts are especially impressive: That the atmospheric effects that have been attributed to Kraka- toa were seen in Trinidad before the eruption occurred ; Knowledge, That they were seen in Natal, South Africa, six months before the eruption. Inertia and its inhospitality. Or raw meat should not be fed to babies. We shall have a few data initiatorily.

I fear me that the horse and the barn were a little extreme for our budding liberalities. The outrageous is the reasonable, if introduced politely. One reads in the newspapers of hail- stones the size of hens' eggs. Nevertheless I will engage to list one hundred instances, from the Monthly Weather Review, of hailstones the size of hens' eggs.

There is an account in Nature, Nov. See Chambers' Encyclopedia for three-pounders. Report of the Smithsonian Institute, two-pounders authenticated, and six-pounders reported. At Seringapatam, India, about the year , fell a hailstone I fear me, I fear me: I blurt out something that should, perhaps, be withheld for several hundred pages but that damned thing was the size of an elephant. Said to have fallen at Nashville, Tenn. In the topography of intellection, I should say that what we call knowledge is ignorance surrounded by laughter.

Black rains red rains the fall of a thousand tons of butter. Jet-black snow pink snow blue hailstones hailstones flavored like oranges. Punk and silk and charcoal. About one hundred years ago, if anyone was so credulous as to think that stones had ever fallen from the sky, he was reasoned with: In the first place there are no stones in the sky: Therefore no stones can fall from the sky.

Or nothing more reasonable or scientific or logical than that could be said upon any subject. The only trouble is the universal trouble: In , a committee, of whom Lavoisier was a member, was appointed by the French Academy, to investigate a report that a stone had fallen from the sky at Luce, France. Of all attempts at positiveness, in its aspect of isolation, I don't know of anything that has been fought harder for than the notion of this earth's unrelatedness. Lavoisier analyzed the stone of Luce.

The exclu- sionists' explanation at that time was that stones do not fall from the sky: The stone of Luce showed signs of fusion. Lavoisier's analysis "absolutely proved" that this stone had not fallen: So, authoritatively, falling stones were damned. The stock means of exclusion remained the explanation of lightning that was seen to strike something that had been upon the ground in the first place. But positiveness and the fate of every positive statement. The falling of large stones from the sky, without any assignable cause of their previous ascent, seems to partake so much of the marvellous as almost entirely to exclude the operation of known and natural agents.

Yet a body of evidence is here brought to prove that such events have actually taken place, and we ought not to withhold from it a proper degree of attention. It's more than one hundred and twenty years later. I know of no aerolite that has ever been acceptably traced to terrestial origin. Falling stones had to be undamned though still with a reserva- tion that held out for exclusion of outside forces. One may have the knowledge of a Lavoisier, and still not be able to analyze, not be able even to see, except conformably with the hypnoses, or the conventional reactions against hypnoses, of one's era.

We believe no more. Little by little the whirlwind and volcano explanations had to be abandoned, but so powerful was this exclusion-hypnosis, sentence of damnation, or this attempt at positiveness, that far into our own times some scientists, notably Prof. Lawrence Smith and Sir Robert Ball, continued to hold out against all external origins, asserting that nothing could fall to this earth, unless it had been cast up or whirled up from some other part of this earth's surface.

It's as commendable as anything ever has been by which I mean it's intermediate to the commendable and the censurable. Meteorites, data of which were once of the damned, have been admitted, but the common impression of them is only a retreat of attempted exclusion: We see, to start with, that the virgins of science have fought and wept and screamed against external relations upon two grounds: There in the first place; Or up from one part of this earth's surface and down to another.

At late as November, , in Nature Notes, , a member of the Selborne Society still argued that meteorites do not fall from the sky; that they are masses of iron upon the ground "in the first place," that attract lightning; that the lightning is seen, and is mistaken for a falling, luminous object By progress we mean rape. Butter and beef and blood and a stone with strange inscriptions upon it. There can be no real science where there are indeterminate variables, but every variable is, in finer terms, indeterminate, or irregular, if only to have the appearance of being in Intermediate- ness is to express regularity unattained.

The invariable, or the real and stable, would be nothing at all in Intermediateness rather as, but in relative terms, an undistorted interpretation of external sounds in the mind of a dreamer could not continue to exist in a dreaming mind, because that touch of relative realness would be of awakening and not of dreaming. Science is the at- tempt to awaken to realness, wherein it is attempt to find regularity and uniformity.

Or the regular and uniform would be that which has nothing external to disturb it. By the universal we mean the real. Or the notion is that the underlying super-attempt, as ex- pressed in Science, is indifferent to the subject-matter of Science: Bugs and stars and chemical messes: So it is, that having attempted to systematize, by ignoring ex- ternality to the greatest possible degree, the notion of things dropping in upon this earth, from externality, is as unsettling and as unwelcome to Science as tin horns blowing in upon a musician's 26 BOOK OF THE DAMNED relatively symmetric composition flies alighting upon a painter's attempted harmony, and tracking colors one into another suffrag- ist getting up and making a political speech at a prayer meeting.

If all things are of a oneness, which is a state intermediate to unrealness and realness, and if nothing has succeeded in breaking away and establishing entity for itself, and could not continue to "exist" in intermediateness, if it should succeed, any more than could the bora still at the same time be the uterine, I of course know of no positive difference between Science and Christian Science and the attitude of both toward the unwelcome is the same "it does not exist.

Eddy, and something not to their lik- ing it does not exist. Of course not, we Intermediates say: Or a Christian Scientist and a toothache neither exists in the final sense: A secret of power I think it's another profundity. Do you want power over something? Be more nearly real than it. We'll begin with yellow substances that have fallen upon this earth: In mere impressionism we take our stand. We have no positive tests nor standards.

In , tne thing to do was to accept Darwinism; now many biologists are revolting and trying to conceive of something else. The thing to do was to accept it in its day, but Darwinism of course was never proved: What is meant by the fittest? Not the strongest ; not. There is no way of determining fitness except in that a thing does survive.

Although Darwinism, then, seems positively baseless, or abso- lutely irrational, its massing of supposed data, and its attempted coherence approximate more highly to Organization and Consistency than did the inchoate speculations that preceded it. Or that Columbus never proved that the earth is round. Shadow of the earth on the moon? No one has ever seen it in its entirety. The earth's shadow is much larger than the moon. If the periphery of the shadow is curved but the convex moon a straight-edged object will cast a curved shadow upon a surface that is convex.

All the other so-called proofs may be taken up in the same way. It was impossible for Columbus to prove that the earth is round. It was not required: The thing to do, in , was nevertheless to accept that beyond Europe, to the west, were other lands. I offer for acceptance, as something concordant with the spirit of this first quarter of the 2oth century, the expression that beyond this earth are other lands from which come things as, from America, float things to Europe. As to yellow substances that have fallen upon this earth, the endeavor to exclude extra-mundane origins is the dogma that all yellow rains and yellow snows are colored with pollen from this earth's pine trees.

Symons' Meteorological Magazine is especially prudish in this respect and regards as highly improper all advances made by other explainers. There were minute things shaped like arrows, coffee beans, horns, and disks. They may have been symbols. They may have been objective hieroglyphics Mere passing fancy let it go In the Annales de Chimie, , there is a list of rains said to have contained sulphur. I have thirty or forty other notes. I'll not use one of them. I'll admit that every one of them is upon a fall of pollen. I grant thirty or forty points to 3tart with. I'm as liberal as any of them or that my liberality won't cost me anything the enormousness of the data that we shall have.

In the American Journal of Science, , we are told of a yellow substance that fell by the bucketful upon a vessel, one "windless" night in June, in Pictou Harbor, Nova Scotia. The writer analyzed the substance, and it was found to "give off nitro- gen and ammonia and an animal odor. Mahogany logs on the coast of Greenland; bugs of a valley on the top of Mt. Blanc; atheists at a prayer meeting; ice in India. For instance, chemical analysis can reveal that almost any dead man was poisoned with arsenic, we'll say, because there is no stomach without some iron, lead, tin, gold, arsenic in it and of it which, of course, in a broader sense, doesn't matter much, because a certain number of persons must, as a re- straining influence, be executed 'for murder every year; and, if detectives aren't able really to detect anything, illusion of their success is all that is necessary, and it is very honorable to give up one's life for society as a whole.

The chemist who analyzed the substance of Pictou sent a sample to the Editor of the Journal. The Editor of course found pollen in it. My own acceptance is that there'd have to be some pollen in it: But the Editor does not say that this substance "contained" pollen. He disregards "nitrogen, ammonia, and an animal odor," and says that the substance was pollen.

For the sake of our thirty or forty tokens of liberality, or pseudo-liberality, if we can't be really liberal, we grant that the chemist of the first examination probably wouldn't know an animal odor if he were janitor of a menagerie. As we go along, however, there can be no such sweeping ignoring of this phenomenon: The fall of animal-matter from the sky. How would they account for the fall of animal-matter from above? They wouldn't try Or it's easy enough to think of most of us as deep-sea fishes of a kind.

Castellani, a yellow substance. But the micro- scope revealed numerous globules of cobalt blue, also corpuscles of a pearly color that resembled starch. Bouis says of a substance, reddish varying to yellowish, that fell enormously and successively, or upon April 30, May i and May 2, in France and Spain, that it carbonized and spread the odor of charred animal matter that it was not pollen that in alcohol it left a residue of resinous matter. Hundreds of thousands of tons of this matter must have fallen.

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