Halloween Jokes (Annotated & Illustrated)

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Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: I have already activated my account. We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. OMG I actually burst out laughing to this one!! Hawk 1 year ago Smartass.

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Alia Gail 1 year ago Ouch SaddleUp 1 year ago It looks kind of like those Charlie and Lola cartoons! Var Vas 1 year ago call him anything. At that time, the favorite pranks in New England included tipping over outhouses and unhinging fence gates. The custom of trick-or-treating is thought to have originated not with the Irish Celts, but with a ninth-century European custom called souling.

On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes," made out of square pieces of bread with currants. The more soul cakes the beggars would receive, the more prayers they would promise to say on behalf of the dead relatives of the donors. At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in limbo for a time after death, and that prayer, even by strangers, could expedite a soul's passage to heaven.

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The Jack-o-lantern custom probably comes from Irish folklore. As the tale is told, a man named Jack, who was notorious as a drunkard and trickster, tricked Satan into climbing a tree. Jack then carved an image of a cross in the tree's trunk, trapping the devil up the tree. Jack made a deal with the devil that, if he would never tempt him again, he would promise to let him down the tree.

I can trace it in the flying Of the black crows overhead; I can hear it in the rustle Of the dead leaves as I pass, And the south wind's plaintive sighing Through the dry and withered grass. Ah, 'tis then I love to wander, Wander idly and alone, Listening to the solemn music Of sweet nature's undertone; Wrapt in thoughts I cannot utter, Dreams my tongue cannot express, Dreams that match the autumn's sadness In their longing tenderness. The summer was very big. Lay thy shadow on the sundials, and on the meadows let the winds go loose.

Command the last fruits that they shall be full; give them another two more southerly days, press them on to fulfillment and drive the last sweetiness into the heavenly wine. And before it started to descend from the height of noon, it leaned over and struck my shoulder as if with the flat of a sword, granting me honor and a task. The day's blow rang out, metallic--or it was I, a bell awakened, and what I heard was my whole self saying and singing what it knew: We've plowed, we've sowed We've reaped, we've mowed And brought safe home Every load.

Then the Spirit of the River laughed for joy that all the beauty of the earth was gathered to himself. Down the stream he journeyed east, until he reached the North Sea. And such a one am I. But now that I have looked upon your inexhaustibility -- alas for me! You cannot speak of Tao to a pedagogue, who is limited in his knowledge.

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For a dangerous ledge off the lighthouse island floats in on the still air the gentle trolling of a warning bell as it swings on the rocking buoy; it might be tolling for the passing of summer and sweet weather with that persistent, pensive chime. October is shared by the astrological signs of Libra the Scales or Balance and Scorpio the Scorpion, and is sacred to the following Pagan deities: Apple Lore and Facts. Apple Branch in Dianic Tradition. A Path to Celtic Ritual.

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Golden Apple in Mythology. Roman Goddess of Orchards, Fruit and Plenty. Mabon, Autumnal Equinox, Alban Elfed. Adoration for Pomona by Scott B. Stewart "This month, this season we will gather under the apple tree as Autumn dawns upon the earth to pray under the apple tree so dear to Pomona's heart. Dear and wise Pomona, we invoke thee in the sacred month of your apple tree to bring forth your fertility. Fill our minds with creativity, our hearts with love and compassion as you bless your dear apple tree with her harvest's sweet fruition. She profusely blooms white in Spring, attracting many friendly bees which pollinate her flower.

With your divine grace and joy, you reward them with your nectar. Let it be to you as nectar this prayer to you that we offer in praise and supplication with our purest love and great affection. You shall clothe her leaves in colors as the Autumn nights get cooler. This apple tree we gather under will display your loving nature: With reverence and with love we honor you, our Lady Pomona this apple tree month Hour before the curfew. A small provincial city. The houses all dark. I am on a street corner Where I shouldn't be. Alone and coatless I have gone out to look For a black dog who answers to my whistle.

I have a kind of halloween mask Which I am afraid to put on. The vast country of the dead had its beginning everywhere: At the turn of a tree-lined alley, across park lawns. But I did not have to enter, I was not called yet. Motorboats pulled up on the river bank, paths in pine needles. It was getting dark early, no lights on the other side. I was going to attend the ball of ghosts and witches. A delegation would appear there in masks and wigs, And dance, unrecognized, in the chorus of the living. The name is from the Latin Word " octo " for " eight ". Oh the joy to those who know October!

Colors bright on bush and tree.

Over the weedy swamp, we see A veil of purple and brown and gold. Thy beauty words have never told. Scolding sparrows on the lawn, Rabbits frisking home at dawn, Pheasants midst the sheaves of grain, All in harmony acclaim, October! Brown earth freshly turned by plow, Apples shine on bended bough, Bins o'erflowed with oats and wheat, And satisfaction reigns complete. Radiant joy is everywhere. Spirits in tune to the spicy air, Thrill in the glory of each day. Life's worth living when we say, October! Love not just between man and woman but as the driving force behind our existence and the relationships that we share with others; faith both in ourselves and in others; and generosity and trust in the understanding that a heart that is open to give and receive is both the gateway to personal happiness and fulfillment and the key that unlocks the secrets of the Otherworld.

The generous apple satisfies body, mind, and spirit, and warns against miserliness, for like attracts like. What we give will be the measure of all we receive.

86 Of The Best Jokes For Kids That We Have Illustrated

The days grow shorter. Cranes walk the fairway now In careless order. They step so gradually Toward the distant green They might be brushstrokes Animating a screen. Mist canopies The water hazard. Nearby, the little flag lifts, Brave but frazzled. Under sad clouds Two white-capped golfers Stand looking off, dreamy and strange, Like young girls in Balthus. May we make wise choices in how and what we harvest, may earth's weather turn kinder, may there be enough food for all creatures, may the diminishing light in our daytime skies be met by an increasing compassion and tolerance in our hearts.

They'd lived through all the heat and noise and stench of summertime, and now each widely opened flower was like a triumphant cry, "We will, we will make seed before we die. Apples were considered the fruit of the gods in Celtic lore, and the apple tree has many associations with magical creatures. The unicorn lives underneath it and in spring the sweet apple blossom offers home to may flower fairies who spread an atmosphere of love and happiness. The gifts of the Apple Fairy are everlasting youth and beauty, although sadly such matters often give rise to strife The apple fairy invites us to enjoy sensuous pleasures of all descriptions, in the knowledge that there is plenty to go around, and that nothing that is truly ours can ever be taken away from us.

It means a row of lights and indeed illumination forms its main attraction. Every home - lowly or mightly - the hut of the poor or the mansion of the rich - is alit with the orange glow of twinkling diyas-small earthen lamps - to welcome Lakshmi, Goddess of wealth and prosperity. Multi-coloured Rangoli designs, floral decorations and fireworks lend picturesness and grandeur to this festival which heralds joy, mirth and happiness in the ensuring year.

This festival is celebrated on a grand scale in almost all the regions of India and is looked upon mainly as the beginning of New Year. As such the blessings of Lakshmi, the celestial consort of Lord Vishnu are invoked with prayers. Even countries like Gkyena, Thailand, Trinidad, Siam and Malaya celebrate this festival but in their own ways.

This Diwali festival, it is surmised dates back to that period when perhaps history was not written, and in its progress through centuries it lighted path of thousands to attain the ultimate good and complete ecstasy. Beneath my glass skin Is a typhoon of savage passion. On October's Desolate shore a fresh carcass is cast up;. October is my empire.

My gentle hands control what is lost. My tiny eyes survey what is melting. My tender ears listen to the silence of the dying. Terror is part of me. In my rich bloodstream Courses all-killing time. In October's Chilling sky a fresh famine erupts. My dead troops hold every rain-sodden city. My dead warning-plane circles the sky above aimless minds. My dead sign their names for the dying. The radio warns of a killing frost coming in the night, and you must say good-by to the garden.

You dread it, as you dread saying good-by to any good friend; but the garden waits with its last gifts, and you must go with a bushel basket or big buckets to receive them. Wind of the sunny south! The lawn overtrodden and strewn From the night before, and the whistling green Shrubbery are doomed. Ice Has got its spearhead into place. First a skin, delicately here Restraining a ripple from the air; Soon plate and rivet on pond and brook; Then tons of chain and massive lock To hold rivers.

Then, sound by sight Will Mammoth and Sabre-tooth celebrate Reunion while a fist of cold Squeezes the fire at the core of the world, Squeezes the fire at the core of the heart, And now it is about to start. Pleasant summer over An all the summer flowers, The red fire blazes, The gray smoke towers. Sing a song of seasons! Something bright in all, Flowers in the summer Fires in the fall! American Indian Lore for October: Ancient Greek Samhain Festivals. Provides a kid safe Christian perspective.

By Kathleen Jenks, Ph. Apples - A Teacher's Cyberguide. Apples - October Lore. Autumn - A Celebration of Tradition in Vermont. A 60K list of carefully selected and informatively annotated links about mythology. A Brief History of Halloween. Creating Circles and Ceremonies: Rituals for all Seasons and Reasons. Appendices, glossary, index, pages. Short poems by Mike Garofalo. Daoist Health and Spiritual Practices. Day of the Dead, Halloween, Samhain: Fairies, Elves, Nature Spirits: Quotations, Lore, Myths, Resources. Greek and Roman Autumn Festivals. Lore, Bibliography, Links, Resources, Quotes.

Land Spirits, Nature Spirits: Lore and Magick of the Harvest. Mabon, Autumnal Equinox, Harvest Festival. Maples and Japanese Culture. Poems, Quotations, Sayings, Lore. Ritter's First Grade Critters. Quotes, Poems, Lore, Myths, Sayings. October Calendar - School of the Seasons. October Holidays and Celebrations. Compiled by Sue LaBeau.

Quotes, Poems, Lore, Myths, Gardening. October - Poem Hunter. Mother of Jesus Christ. Old French Sayings about October. Reinventing the Halloween Night.

Ritual of the Labyrinth: Natural History Studies at our Home and Gardens. By Karen and Mike Garofalo. Preparing for Samhain and Halloween Celebrations on October 31st. Preparing for Yule and Saturnalia on December 21st. Preparing for the Autumnal Equinox, Mabon, September 21st. Slavic Pagan Holidays - Autumn.

Quotes, Poems and Sayings for Gardeners. Thesmophoria - Ancient Greek Autumn Festival. A Season For Reasoning. The Spirit of Gardening. Taoist Health and Spiritual Practices. What to Do about Halloween? Wicca Holidays and Sabbaths. Typical Weather for Our Area. Removing dead and non-productive vegetable crops. Ordering seed and garden catalogs. Start planting seedlings for the Winter Garden. Removing dead fruit and branches to burn pile. Remove all peppers in case of frost. Adding and turning manure into the soil. Put all tools up under cover in the sheds. Reduce watering as temperature drops.

Watering plants as needed. Being attentive to the effects of the cold dry winds. Planting potted trees and shrubs in the ground. Placing cold sensitive potted plants in protected areas or indoors. Planting new bulbs and moving old bulbs. Prune and mulch perennials. Cutting dead branches and limbs from trees. Research new material for this webpage. Storing and repairing tools.

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