Mugged in Tahiti

---

I felt very unsafe and uncomfortable around him, so I was being polite to keep him on my side more than anything. I think that was the worst moment for me, and definitely when I started feeling like he was more than just a bit of a weird guy. Thank you for sharing this experience, which clearly was incredibly crappy and uncomfortable at the time and probably not easy to write about, either. You definitely hit the nail on the head that women are susceptible to harassment anywhere in the world.

Hopefully, though, by sharing this anecdote, some of your male readers will think critically about how their interactions with women could be perceived as threatening. The more that men are exposed to these perspectives, the more they can hold themselves and other men accountable. Alyssa, your messages to male readers here would be well received I guess, unless they are ATMs — absolutely terrible men… Being a man I agree that women should be treated with respect, not as walking opportunities to have fun ….

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment, Alissa!

Related Posts

It was tough to publish. And hey, it ended up being worse than I thought it would be, ha. I have had a similar situation once while traveling in Australia. I was so shy and awkward about what to do. Oh, the stereotype is definitely true! For me, at least, humouring people in this kind of situation has never led to anything going seriously wrong, so I do feel that it keeps me safe, which is my main concern. You should always trust your instinct. Or, as others have mentioned, ask them to politely leave you alone. If I did, I would literally never step outside.

A security consultant, who is paid to deal with things like celebrity stalking, tells you exactly how to act in these situations. As I mentioned above, as an anxiety sufferer, my brain can only think irrational thoughts, so almost everything I do and everyone I meet feels like a danger to me. You are right about the possibility of one encountering such a creepy guy anywhere, not just when travelling abroad. An Absolutely Terrible Man.

You are very welcome Lauren. It is very easy for people to be wise in hind sight, and that too in the case incidents that have happened to others, not to them. That gave me chills reading it. I think you handled the situation very well and I probably would have done the same thing. Not worth the risk of pissing off a potentially unstable person who could harm you. Funny story and creepy guy indeed. He thought he had some connection with you and obviously felt attracted to you. I think the best thing to do would be to not answer any of his questions.

You are way too tough by your experience to let him get to you — but I guess you are still a bit too afraid to tell people directly what you think and feel. Hopefully, you are still having a good time on Tahiti!! Enjoy the island and yourself!! Honestly, that feels like a horribly patronising comment. What a freaken weirdo! Glad to hear you got away from him without anything happening other than creeping you out. I met the guy first at a food truck and he was very talkative, very lonely, and looking for a girlfriend big time.

When he went off to shower Lauren called me over and asked me if I thought he was weird or creepy. The other think I remember is he kept badgering you to use your laptop to look at his camera photos. He was very reluctant but he looked at a few photos and gave it back.

The Creepiest Guy in Tahiti | Never Ending Footsteps

Lauren, what a sucky situation. It lasts for a long time. You need to shut these guys down firmly before anything gets going. That you answered his 1st question at all had me yelling at my phone. That you answered Are you travelling alone? Had me in fits. If you had of politely shut him down and not answered his questions he would not have raped you.

He took you talking to him as you being interested. I had no idea that rapists would not, in fact, actually ever rape you if you just politely shut them down. Also, the planes in the South Pacific are tiny — there were 8 people on our flight and sitting at the gate. And, uh, it would have been even more obvious when I arrived in Tahiti and moved into the dorm room on my own.

What a stupid comment. You actually have no way of knowing how this guy would have responded now, do you? The risk was hers, and any possible consequences would have been hers to deal with, not yours, Armchair Expert. As a fellow tiny person and lone female traveller I can empathise. Your ability to allow yourself to publicly post stories like this inspire me. Maybe one day, if enough people speak out, things will start to change and victim blaming will end.

Should I have handled this differently?

This freaks me so much! These situations are tough! What a super creepy situation. It really sounds like you handled it the best you could. I would have been an absolute mess. We or at least I already beat ourselves up enough for not knowing the right way to handle these situations — and moreover, there is no one right way to handle these situations. Men need to learn to respect women, full stop. I did what I felt was safest in this situation.

Shop by category

This can be really tricky. Ive been hit on in a bikini and hit on in basically a head to snowsuit-with only my eyes visinle-and Ive decided its never what you do, it the societal fuckedupedness of being a woman in public. I grew up in NYC, so Im a little bit more practiced at telling guys to leave me the fuck alone. If the other guy hadnt shown up I probably would have dipped into my emergency fund, and relocated to a niceish hotel for the night, to preserve my safety and sanity.

I argue a lot with my male sometimes travel partner about how much more careful I have to be than he does-he doesnt see the difference between regular dilligence and the constant internal dialogue of vigillence women need to have for safety. Half the time he doesnt even noticewhen men are looking at me like some tasty dessert. Oh dear… This was quite the experience.

I would have done the same thing you did as well. I also mention that i have a partner during my conversations if I feel like something is wrong, like saying my bf and went here and there bla bla.. I love meeting people and having discussions but I would have put my guard on if a man like that approached me and started asking questions like that. Thanks for sharing Lauren! I find your story so amusing and that you are such an adorable girl.

I think you did the right thing. It would have been tempting to yell, and sitting in the safety behind the screen it certainly seems like the best option, but I definitely think what you did was the best course of action. Thank you for posting! Well I just want to say that I think you handled the situation perfectly, bearing in mind the circumstances and the potential consequences of alternative actions and reactions. I think you handled yourself really well.

You were obviously successful in managing the situation, so no need to second guess how you dealt with this guy. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing even though you anticipated getting some feedback that would make you cringe! That is so so odd. So yeah, thanks for the reminder. Hopeful the harassers will stay away from you in the future. You are not in the wrong here and when I start travelling solo, I will do whatever it takes to keep myself safe, just like you did. I barely know how to respond to that story.

Account Options

But, I have a newfound respect for all of you solo traveling ladies. Stay safe and keep on keeping on!! Actually; you are very brave.. I must confess… You derseve a medal for this.. I know outside is shit rats but fanstatic learning the reality….. My hat goes to you….. If I was in your shoe or position; I dont have the abilities because I dont know how…..

You are learning the hardshipof life…. YOu are telling us how.. In my case it was some older, creepy local men staying at my hostel that would not leave me alone.

Those men continued to harass me the entire time on Huahine, but i am forever grateful for the ladies who let me stay with them. So glad you got to go to French Polynesia as it truly is the most amazing place, creepy locals and stalker travelers nonwithstanding. And thanks for writing about all of your experiences, both good and bad.

What an uncomfortable and annoying situation Lauren! Who knows what they would have done.

The Creepiest Guy in Tahiti

You keep doing your thing, have an awesome time traveling and keep yourself safe! Lauren, I am so sorry this happened to you. I am a bit surprised you are being victim shamed, I have to say this: As someone who is from New York, who is overly aggressive, defensive, has a natural reaction of screaming and cursing at people who cross a line, I know for a fact that handling things the way I have it ingrained in me to handle these things, is not a better solution. Because I do act like this, I fly off the handle. From my experience in being myself, I guarantee you that if you had, one of these two things would have happened:.

You would have irritated him. How dare you, who the hell do you think you are telling ME to fuck off? It would have escalated the situation, pissed him off, and who knows if it would have turned into a physical altercation. Even if you could take him on and fight him off, would that really have made the situation any better? Oh hey, I went to Tahiti and got into a fight, best trip ever yay? Then you flip out on him and someone who is not at all capable of reacting normally, is sitting there with his feelings hurt and now you are spending your time consoling a complete stranger. All while wondering if this softness is just an act and if he is just making you vulnerable so he can attack.

Even going the route of completely ignoring him until he left you alone, would have had you sleeping with a pen in your hand ready to stab his jugular should he crawl into your bed. You were never going to win this, you were never going to be allowed comfort as long as this person was in existence. If this had happened in a major city and you had been able to switch hotels, guess what? You still would have been a victim who had to change hotels because of a creepy dude. Nothing would have ever changed that. It made it worse.

Anyone who tried to make you feel ashamed, weak or like a bad person is an arsehole. Wow, there is some serious mansplaining going on in these comments! Being rude and antagonising him could have taken the situation to a whole new level. The tip from another poster about memorising the name of another hotel was great. I often travel alone and so far have been lucky not to have a situation like yours but will definitely do this in the future, just in case. The real issue is that this even happens at all, and it really sucks that you and other women deal with it on a daily basis, even in so-called developed countries like the US.

It seems like you have a handle on how to run your life and how to navigate tricky situations with people while abroad. I love this article. I would have done the same based on the situation and my personality. Glad it worked out in the end.

One was on home arrest yet he was on the waterfront!!!!!!! Thanks to the photos, they were picked up around 22h Sunday and are in temporary custody until their arraignment.

Welcome First time poster to TA. Sorry to hear about your family problems and experiences. No country is exempt from crime and alcohol problems and everywhere in the world you need to exercise common sense and avoid areas. However, I can honestly say we have wandered around at night in tahiti, bora bora, tikehau and other islands and never felt unsafe. Obviously, locals are always going to have more issues and heated arguments with other locals and personalities as they conflict, particularly with alcohol involved.

Theft, assaults etc happen in every community. Shocking, wrong and sad. However, tourist resorts also have good security and are safe. I wouldnt be wandering the docks at night! This topic has been closed to new posts due to inactivity. We hope you'll join the conversation by posting to an open topic or starting a new one. We remove posts that do not follow our posting guidelines, and we reserve the right to remove any post for any reason. TripAdvisor uses cookies to improve your site experience. Learn more or change your settings.

By continuing, you consent to our cookies. All of your saved places can be found here in My Trips. Log in to get trip updates and message other travellers. Log in Join Recently viewed Bookings Inbox. Safety and Crime in French Polynesia Browse forums All Browse by destination.

Hotels travellers are raving about...

Tours in Tahiti Tahiti Tours - Day Tours. Patrick Adventure Day Tours. See All Tahiti Conversations. Tahiti Islands or Caribbean? A French air force Atlantique helps the search. Web Design Northampton by New Edge. By Ian Verchere Ewan Marshbanks' stellar career as nomadic journalist ends in divorce, prostate cancer and his newspaper's demise. Dying Star Book Two: Dying Star Book Three: Dying Star Book One: My Bed is a Spaceship: Over Land or Sea The Falklands - a hidden conflict. Nottinghamshire Children Tell Tales: The History on the Page: Strange Case of Dr.

The Size of the Dog: The Tales of Averon Trilogy: The Fires of Eternity:

• Fairy Tale Factory Volume 1: Six short fairy tales, some with unhappy endings
• Essential Fingerpicking Patterns: A Beginners Guide To Fingerstyle Guitar
• You are Unique Arent you?
• The Presidents Mask
• DB2 9 for z/OS Database Administration: Certification Study Guide