Widows Like Me: True Stories From Widows Trying To Occupy Sanity (article)

64 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Grief

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Although no mention has ever surfaced as to any specific guidelines or special instructions by which Mr. Lieb would select a buyer for the property, one gets the distinct impression that Sarah wanted the House to stand intact and perpetually preserved… and so it does. Winchester sought the advice of the then famous Boston medium Adam Coons. Coons further instructed Sarah that the angry spirits demanded that she move to California and build them a house. To further appease the angry spirits, Mrs. For some inexplicable reason, however, Mrs.

Furthermore, Sarah infused the numbers 7 and 11 into the architecture because they are lucky numbers. And the number 13? Winchester used to ward off the evil spooks. She also slept in a different room every night as an extra measure to throw the spirits off her trail. Their source is usually television. Winchester in a positive light. These are good people who mean well—but this is hardly the legacy Sarah wanted to leave to posterity.

It then becomes a matter of separating fact from fiction—beginning with the elimination process. There is no record or evidence that Mrs. Winchester ever met the man. Nor is there any evidence to support the idea that she was a spiritualist or had any inclination to believe in communication with the deceased. Her closest companion and nurse of many years, Henrietta Severs, firmly denied that Mrs. Winchester had any spiritualist leanings. Furthermore, why would odd features built into a house confuse evil spirits?

And finally, if Mrs. Winchester truly believed she was cursed by the Winchester fortune, why would she exacerbate the matter by continuing to own vast shares of stock in the Winchester Repeating Arms Company, then, later acquire still greater controlling shares that she maintained and profited from for the rest of her life? Unquestionably, for many people, the folklore is entertaining—but it is a complete fabrication. Sarah made certain her legacy was well within reach and capable of being understood. Furthermore, she began crafting her puzzle long before the construction of the House.

As noted earlier, young Sarah Pardee was raised in an educational environment in which she had direct exposure to the influence of Masonic, Rosicrucian, and Baconian concepts. The ancient mystery schools emphasized the tradition of the initiate. The novice student, called the initiate or candidate, was required to undergo a series of tests in order to prove that he was ready and worthy to advance to successively higher levels of learning.

These levels are called Degrees. In ancient times, the initiate was subjected to a test called the labyrinth. The labyrinth was usually an underground or enclosed maze-like structure consisting of dark, winding stairs and passageways. The purpose of the test was to force the initiate to develop and hone his powers of intuition and insight. The greatest test for the initiate lies in his ability to understand and identify Mrs. But most importantly, as we shall see, Sarah adopted the numeric, cryptographic techniques of Francis Bacon, incorporating them into her architecture along with specific Baconian symbols.

As we have seen, Bacon infused coded cipher messages in all of his works, including the Shakespearean plays and sonnets, and his translated work known as the King James Bible. Such tables matched the twenty four letters of the Elizabethan-Jacobean Alphabet with specific numbers. The codes used by Bacon were generally a mixture of five different tables: Later, when the English Alphabet expanded to twenty six letters, the Pythagorean 1 through 9 Table became the paradigm used by modern numerologists.

The Pythagorean 1 — 9 Table. Using the Pythagorean Table is a simple matter of matching the letters in a name or word with their corresponding numbers, then adding the numbers together until you have one, simplified number. So, her middle name, Lockwood adds up to 25, which then simplifies to 7. For personal and mathematical reasons, he elected to have that number represent his last name rather than the number 6.

Likewise, the name Bacon, in accordance with the Kaye Cipher Table, adds up to the number As we have seen, this became the second code number he used to represent his last name. In fact, the plot grows thicker when we note that the names Sarah Pardee and Francis Bacon both correspond in the Pythagorean Cipher with the number When Sarah first met William Wirt Winchester, she would have found his numbers to be nothing short of miraculous.

First, his name adds up in the Pythagorean Cipher to the number just like Bacon in the Kaye Cipher. As earlier noted, the number is extremely important to Kabbalists, Rosicrucians and Freemasons. Furthermore, the initials W. Many married couples like to say their union is the product of some kind of ineffable destiny. Notwithstanding their mutual love, their union was destined by numbers. Sarah Pardee Winchester, age unknown. Courtesy of the History Museums of San Jose. William Wirt Winchester, age unknown. Moreover, the name Annie Pardee corresponds with the number 56 in the Pythagorean Cipher.

In a different way, each of the names William 34 Winchester 52 and Annie 25 Winchester 52 when simplified, equate to the number However, the name Annie Winchester simplified or not still corresponds with the number 77 Pythagorean Cipher. And just to insure we would understand that the connection between the number 52 and the name Winchester are not accidental Sarah deliberately placed coded inscriptions on the three tombstones of the Winchester family plot.

These are not coincidences—and we know what these and other numbers meant to Sarah. As already noted, Sarah was weaving her tapestry of numbers long before she began the construction of her house.

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Her connection with Francis Bacon is undeniable. As we shall further see, Sarah had every reason to identify with Bacon, philosophically, artistically and spiritually. The architect theme shows up in virtually everything he produced. It is his foundation for what would later become Speculative Freemasonry, and, as we have seen, it is ubiquitous throughout his Shakespearean work. The architecture as art legacy was first passed down by the Roman architect and philosopher Marcus Vitruvius Pollio. It was Vitruvius who first expounded the virtue of the mathematical value of Phi the Divine Proportion, Golden Ratio, etc.

He held that architecture was the noblest and most perfect of all the art forms. This rational system of numbers is known as the Fibonacci sequence. As we have seen, he was the mastermind who single-handedly sired the English Renaissance and the Age of Enlightenment that would follow. Moreover, it was Bacon who gave the Rosicrucian movement its name and articulated its purpose. Moreover, Bacon applied the theme of concealment to everything he touched—including his own life the same was equally true of Sarah Winchester.

Francis Bacon and Sarah Winchester both understood that the only way to reveal all that nature conceals is through the transcendental science of numbers. Therefore, following her loss of Annie and William, Sarah began to write not with words as Bacon had , but truer to the Vitruvian tradition she chose speak to us in the pure language of numbers and architecture over a backdrop of concealment. In order to discover its underlying meaning, one must follow the path of the initiate. To that end Sarah carefully crafted Masonic and Rosicrucian features into the structure of her labyrinthine House.

Her concept of initiation closely parallels the Masonic and Rosicrucian method of subjecting the initiate to a series of progressive steps or Degrees in which he is forced to develop his powers of intuition and insight. At the outset of each Masonic Degree the initiate Candidate expresses his wish to receive Light. This is symbolically important as the east represents the source of Light Knowledge and Wisdom. Winchester regarded everyone who stepped onto her property as a prospective initiate. Each gate is decorated with the Sun symbol with 16 radiants.

This symbol was used by Bacon in many of his engravings. The significance of the 16 radiants is multi-layered. It marked both the death of his front man Will Shaksper, and the birth of his new, secret society of Speculative Freemasonry—and this was the year in which Bacon wrote and published his third and final Rosicrucian Manifesto The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz. For all Masonic initiates Candidates , these are the first features they will pass through when entering the Lodge room.

View of the House from the front gate. Instead of allowing admittance in the front of her House, Mrs. Winchester required people to enter from the rear, through one entrance strategically located near the northwest corner. Her reason for this has to do with the fact that all Masonic initiates must enter the Lodge room through its northwest corner. It has 44 tiny steps. Each step is just under 2 inches in height.

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Thus, the effect is more like walking up a ramp than climbing a set of stairs. Additionally, the staircase has 7 turns. Courtesy of the Winchester Mystery House. The two stained glass windows incorporate designs that were used by Francis Bacon—including his familiar winding banner. With the exception of the inscriptions written on the banners, the windows are exact mirror images of each other. Knowing the occidental mind reads from left to right, Sarah wants the initiate to start with the left window. As we shall see, Sarah provided numerous coded messages to confirm her connection with Bacon.

The inscription on the banner in the right window reads:. The expanded text from which these words appear reads:. Again, we should not be surprised that Sarah introduces us to her puzzle by demonstrating her view of her relationship to Bacon. This is precisely the effect Sarah wanted the inscriptions to have on us. Sarah knew that most people would simply shrug their shoulders and walk away. We are actually dealing with a choice between two options: Winchester was crazy, or two, she is cleverly guiding us toward an understanding of the methodology she employs for the sole purpose of solving her puzzle.

For those who would choose the first option, go ahead and walk away—many other people have already preceded you! However, once you conclude that Sarah was sane, and you opt to go with door number two, you are compelled to see that there is a rational purpose behind all of these seemingly insane features built into the structure of the House.

Moreover, you must then conclude that these Shakespearean Windows function as the introductory step of Mrs. However, the revelations and insights to be gained through the initiatic process must be earned. Like all of the other anomalous features we find in the House, Sarah wanted the display of apparent irregularity in the Shakespearean Windows to utterly shock our sensibilities. These windows were meant for other people! Sarah has left instructions. She wants us to know and understand certain things.

She has gone to great pains to leave a trail of clues that will lead us to the truth. All we have to do is pay close attention and follow those clues. Notice that, in choosing to use these two particular lines, she is accomplishing several things on different and deeper levels. First, Sarah wants us to achieve a better understanding of her by comparing her with Cressida and Richard II. The deeper truth about Cressida is that she does whatever she must in order to survive—and Sarah, in her own way, saw herself as a survivor. However, both Richard and Sarah resolve to overcome their plight with the phrase: As with all things in the House, there is more, here, than meets the eye.

We remember that the number 45, with regard to the Pythagorean Cipher, corresponds to the name Shakespeare. Additionally, the number 55 Pythagorean Cipher matches the name Hiram Abiff. Furthermore, with regard to the two Shakespearean inscriptions, Sarah has deliberately omitted the first word in each 8 word line so as to leave only 7 words in each line. Unquestionably, she is talking to us in a numbered code.

Like Bacon, Sarah uses encryption code to guide us to higher levels of insight. But then, where are we to find such a book? Where is the Encryption Table? Because we are already familiar with Numerological Tables, we know that in displaying the numbers 1 through 9, Sarah is alluding to the Pythagorean Table. However, she has ingeniously raised the bar by including 13 sub panels with each of the 9 main panels. But, she has done something unexpected. In showing us 9 sets of the number 13, she has forced us to multiply.

In fact, she has already done it for us. Moreover, we have the numbers 11 and 7 standing side-by-side. Thus, Sarah induces us to multiply 11 x 7. Going back to the windows we now have the answer to our original question. In one simple lesson, Sarah has skillfully introduced the initiate to the rudiments of her number system. Moreover, she has employed a brilliant device in the Shakespearean Windows to drive home the connection between Shakespeare, Hiram Abiff, Francis Bacon and herself. In fact, the various symbols are distinctly Baconian. And, we recall that her Glass mirror reflects the light of knowledge and wisdom.

A close scrutiny of the bottom portion of the Shakespearean Windows reveals the crooked staff entangled in a serpent-like creature. Sarah has intentionally shaded each ball so as to give it a three dimensional effect. We can clearly see that this is a ball-like feature, and not a circle. This symbol should be partially recognizable to the Master Freemason, but something is missing. However these stops are shaped like small arrowheads pointing to the partitions above. Sarah is exhorting us to rearrange the order of the partitions.

Using photographs of the two Shakespearean Windows, we cut them into thirds, resulting in facsimiles of the six window panes. We then move them around like pieces of a jig-saw puzzle. When they are properly realigned, a stunning, new pattern emerges. This became the basis for a hieroglyphical pun in the form of a cane flanked by two balls representing Tubal-Cain. Throughout the centuries, the Tubal-Cain symbol has employed either a cane shaped like a backward number 7, or a cane with a simple crooked handle. Naturally, Sarah is making use the latter form.

Historically, the Tubal-Cain symbol has generated controversy because of its phallic connotation. It is highly probable that Mrs. Another significant symbol associated with the Master Mason that materializes with the proper realignment of the six panes of the Shakespearean Windows is the Hourglass. Properly aligned Center Window Panes showing the Hourglass. There are other places in the House where the initiate will learn more lessons.

For example, on the second floor, near the front of the House, there is a gallery of beveled, stained glass windows featuring the fleur-de-lis design associated with both the Prince of Wales and the House of Tudor. Moreover, Sarah has added a novel twist to her Tubal-Cain devise by joining two of them in such a way as to form the number 3.

Thus, she has one Tubal-Cain number 3 displayed in the right border of the windows, and a second reversed number 3 shown in the left borders—rendering the number 33 with the fleur- de-lis pattern occupying the middle portion of each window. It is a virtual shrine to Bacon. Not far from the Bacon-fleur-de-lis windows, Sarah exhibits the most ornate stained glass window in the entire House. It is prominently displayed at the top of a 13 step staircase.

To make matters more interesting, Sarah has the window facing north with no perceivable source of light. An important part of the puzzle goes back to Rosicrucian beginnings in ancient Egypt. The Egyptians saw the path to heaven as a 12 step staircase with a magnificent door at the top. The gate to heaven would truly be the most splendid of all. Although the 12 steps were sufficient to bring one up to the heavenly door, they were insufficient to deliver one into heaven.

The riddle lay with the worthy ascendant realizing that there is an invisible 13th step that could only be crossed once the door had been opened for him by a divine source from within. To the ancient Egyptian mind, this is where heaven is located. But Sarah has introduced another clever design in the form of winding ribbons located in the upper center that take the shape of the letters W at the top and S just beneath.

Notice how they mirror each other. Notice that the letter W is equivalent to the number 5 Pythagorean Cipher , and the letter S is equivalent is the number 1—hence, In accordance with the Pythagorean Cipher, we recall that the number 51 corresponds to both the names Francis Bacon and Sarah Pardee.

Moreover, with regard to the name William Shakespeare, there are 7 letters in William, and 11 letters in Shakespeare—hence, —hence, 72, Sarah 20 Winchester The Winchester Tiffany Window. The ceiling is a perfectly square grid consisting of 49 7 squared individual squares reminiscent of a mathematical table devised by John Dee. When Sarah looked up at this grid, she saw an array of significant numbers.

First, she saw the number 13, i. Next, she observed 7 horizontal squares, 7 vertical squares and 7 diagonal squares, rendering the number And, by simply multiplying x 13, she produced the number , or In the middle of the lawn we see a magnificent crescent shaped hedge, accentuated with brilliant, yellow chrysanthemums. Front Cover of the Crescent. It is the lunar number because there are always 13 full moons in a year. For this reason, the Mayans and the Chinese had 13 month calendars. To this day, the 13 month calendar is more accurate than the Gregorian.

According to Celtic tradition the Triquetra represents the three lunar goddesses who, in turn, represent the three phases of the moon. Knights Templar Cross with Triquetra Symbols. Here, she is affirming her Theosophical point of view. Such a notion, as any practicing Rosicrucian knows, is utterly absurd. All Rosicrucians have a room or space like this situated as closely as possible in the center of their homes. This serves the practical purpose of being far from the distraction of outside noise. The room measures 11 ft. The dimensions are not accidental. Sarah uses the 11, 11, 11 cube for several reasons.

Second, 11 x 11 x 11 renders the Ramanujan palindromic number Notice the Masonic metaphor of the number 33 enclosed within the number 11, as it is flanked by the twin, Masonic pillars, i. Also, 13 and 31 possess the unique quality of generating reverse palindromic twins when they are squared, i. The simplest mathematical expression of cubical symmetry is , which Sarah hoped we would discover by simply multiplying the number 11 x x Each peg held a different colored robe, consistent with the Rosicrucian practice of wearing a different colored robe for each lunar month.

To the untrained eye, the beam has the appearance of just another piece of wood. But this facsimile of the 24 inch gauge is made to scale, spanning a length of approximately 16 ft. Moreover, the darkly stained beam has 46 lightly colored vertical rule lines which divide the gauge into 47 evenly spaced segments. The number 46 i. Moreover, when we place the numbers side-by-side, i. In another part of the House, the initiate comes to a landing connecting two staircases, each leading to different second story rooms.

The staircase to the left has 7 stairs while the one on the right has 11 stairs. Naturally, the right path is the correct one. If a man were to traverse these stairs from the second floor, left to right, he would be traveling from west to east. In all Masonic lodges, one is always regarded to be traveling from west toward the source of light in the east. The obvious answer is 4. But in higher dimensional mathematics, the number 4 can translate or rotate into multiple variations of itself, i.

As we shall see, there is a unique relationship between the numbers 7, 11, and I knew that Sarah had concealed the number 13 in the middle, between the Shakespearean Windows, in a higher dimensional way. And, sure enough, there it was… where no one would normally think to look for it! It was exactly as Sarah had planned it. No one had understood the underlying dynamics of the universe better than Francis Bacon who viewed nature as a model of the universe based on a set of fundamental rules and laws immanent from the outset in its ratio, order, structure, measure and corresponding symmetries.

Since she clearly regarded her House as a living puzzle and a work of architectural art, we are compelled to examine the environment that influenced her views and her work. As we shall see, the anomalous features throughout Mrs. German mathematician Georg Bernhard Reimann realized that the forces of nature might be nothing more than a manifestation of the geometry of space.

He reasoned that forces might be best explained in terms of warps in a higher dimension. If space could tell mass how to move, mass would, in turn, have its affect on space. Moreover, Riemann realized that all space transcends the flat, two dimensional geometry of Euclid. Therefore, in describing the dynamics of space, a new, higher dimensional model was required. If warps in space were the cause of natural forces such as electromagnetism and gravity, the structure of space had to conform to a higher dimensional curvature.

Thus, Riemann devised a new, higher dimensional geometry that demonstrates how parallel lines can intersect, and arcs, rather than straight lines, can be the shortest distance between two points. The Riemannian revolution had a profound impact both on nineteenth century science and Sarah Winchester. A new, simplified view of the universe had opened up in which unseen forces, from the structure of atoms to the dynamics of gravity were becoming better understood from the perspective of higher dimensional space.

Riemannian geometry, along with the mathematical equations of William Thompson and William Rowan Hamilton conclusively demonstrated the existence of higher dimensions. The concept of a forth dimension became an obsession that permeated both the scientific and academic communities of the latter nineteenth century. Artists and intellectuals began to express their views of how the dynamics of higher dimensional space might work. The distinction between large and small seemed to dissolve. Time could speed up, slow down or stand still.

Sarah seems to borrow from the pages of Lewis Carroll as she shows us large doors that lead into small space and small doors that open up into ridiculously large space. To form an idea of what that would entail, try thinking in reverse. Try to imagine what living and perceiving in two dimensional space would be like. Everything would be completely flat. You would be unable to cross over a line. Three dimensional objects such as cubes, spheres and pyramids would seem impossible because our limited perception would only permit us to observe these objects as two dimensional squares, circles and triangles.

And, if someone were to try to describe cubes, spheres and pyramids to us, we would tell them they were crazy. For example, when viewed from a higher dimensional perspective, a solid wall would seem more like a broken line. Furthermore, distinguishing between large and small, up and down, front and back, left and right, inside and out, etc. Thus, what appear to be upside-down pillars, chimneys and skylights that have overhead roofs, and doors or stairs that lead into solid walls make perfect sense when viewed from higher dimensions.

None of us are able to do much physical work. Mom is in good shape for her age, as she looks very young for her age she had a little cosmetic surgery many years ago , and drives a Ford Expedition, which takes some strength to get in and out of. But any time, there could be bad news and I worry. We are all life-extensionists but we are not all that disciplined with the lifestyle. AND do far there is NO real anti-aging available! Maybe I will never need to because self driving vehicles may be available in a few years.

Again, scared every day. My goal is to have a community home for life extensionists, which of course would be a very positive environment, or at least have extra positivism because everyone believes anything is possible nowadays with life extension. I do not want to live alone because all my loved ones died off!

My name is Nicole I live in Greenville S. I am 38 year old woman with a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I realize I am not a senior obviously but I too am very lonely. I am an only child with no real family or support system either only a young child who depends on me. I am in a very bad marriage of 6 years. I have been a stay at home mom since she was born and I just recently went back to work part time. I was forced to leave home young and made my living in the restaurant industry so that is what I went back to. I had planned on just sucking it up and staying with my husband despite his sexual dysfunction and emotional abuse.

So that I could home school my child and educate with good Christian values and the idea of throwing her in public schools these days terrifies me I am sure being from your generation you can understand why. Unfortunately I now realize that to be impossible as I am married to a man who does not behave in a Christian way at all which I imagine will make it very hard to achieve that.

A few months ago I suffered a violent miscarriage that lasted for about 3 months. During that time my husband began cheating, drinking excessively, all while continuing to verbally and emotionally abuse me. Last night was the worst he tried to find his gun which I hid threating to kill himself while my child was scared and crying. At a minimum I could use someone to talk to. In exchange I am looking for companionship, hopefully blooming into a surrogate mother daughter type of situation, and a home that is safe, calm, and godly to allow me and my daughter a safe haven while I find a way to support us without working 80 hours a week.

I am saving up the money to get my real estate license but even after I get it will take me a year or two to become financially solvent enough for us to live alone. I am not looking for a sitter for her I have that worked out. I just need a safe, secure, home environment for us both.

Also I am not interested in dating or anything of the kind just raising my daughter so no worries of strange people coming around etc. Maybe we could chat and learn more about each other. Perhaps if we found we would be good companions we could help one another of a bad situation. We can then find a spot in the Park. If you decide to come, bring something to sit on, a beverage, and snack for yourself. We can relax and just talk.

Should it get too hot or rain, we can find a nearby alternate e. The more the merrier. First steps are always hard but they usually lead to great things! All my best, Grace. If you get this, please let me know. If you have a group I would love to join!! Hi Grace, I am so happy to have found this website. If you have a group I would love to be a part of it. If you can, please let me know. You have to leave the house. Or else find someone to invite in. You really can make a small effort every day. It requires you do something. I am also a widow — with no family, not a single cent to spend after paying the monthly bills gas is rationed here!

My company was separate and I had those insurances through it. After all, he had paid for those items also for a lifetime. We moved to a small town to rehab this home — cosmetic needs and now, rats, a roof — and months later, he was diagnosed. I shut down my business to take care of him at home.

Whenhe died, I was left standing there alone and broke. And I discovered that socializing costs money. I scrounge for groceries. I quit playing tennis. I quit a church bible study group. I could not afford them. I lived a life previously where I had plenty of money.. I keep sending it out. Not one bite …and I have to keep in mind the distance to drive as my vehicle is now aged. But those things I can handle. I do not know the prices of ambulances or hospitals but I know I cannot afford them at all.

Safety is on my mind. What if someting happens here at home and I need help? What if I need the care my husband needed? I had a flat tire not long ago. I ended up walking 6 miles to town. But…it was a wake-up call. Another time I had a problem with one eye and had to get to town 20 miles to get something for it. I could not close it.

My other eye had bad sight; I used contact lense only on the other eye.

Is there anything I can do? | Life and style | The Guardian

I drove very slowly to town on gravel road, after calling two people to see if I could get help. They were out of town. Two others…well, I was watering their plants as they were with family out of town. I was proud that I did it but again… a wake up call. I have only hospitalization for Medicare. I really wish I knew of safety solutions…. I truly do not get bummed out at that. I just want it to be painfless and fast. I go weeks and months without using my voice or being with another human.

I dream about it! But it is what it is. LIfe is now a matter of acceptance. What would really comfort me though is knowing how to deal with safety issues — with no money to pay for the support others usually get to deal with such topics. Anyone able to help with ideas? Safety if I have an illness and want to die rather than have treatment — and no rolling eyes. Hi — I just want to say how much I relate to you. I was far from any hospital. At the time I was in a relationship with a guy in Wa. State but caring for me beyond a point was beyond his emotional range. I had moved to the West coast from the East in , so have lost ties with older friends, other than sort of superficial contact on Facebook.

The chosen family that replaced my family of origin has all died or left this area in the last ten years. I live in the middle of a big city San Diego that is overrun by younger people who come here for school, partying, the social scene. Young people tend to be disinterested in what an older woman who has lost her looks has to say. I think of all the opportunities I had when I was younger — stuff that just seemed to fall into my lap. I wish there were communities for people with similar interests political, social, creative to support each other — more than just online.

Anyway, a sincere best to all. I am also very lonely, I am a young 73 and before I had my illness, M. I have bought myself a mobility scooter so that I can get out and about on good days. As I write I am stopping myself from crying because I am lonely. They say, join a group! I would do anything to have a genuine friend who I could visit and vice versa. I too am 65 and am blessed to have some clients I now only consult. My mom told me as she was waiting to die in rehab to not go that route. I think she gave me good advice because I am tired of reaching out to people who are to scared to have me over because they think I want their husbands Never did that in high school or any part of my life.

My sig other and I were getting ready to get back together in May — he was very healthy and died suddenly. I miss his emails and the loss of reuniting with him is huge. My mother is around the same age as you and would love to meet new people and make new friendships. She Too has some health issues but would love to meet someone she can speak to and meet up with etc.

Debbie I am in your shoes and 61 with Chronic Immune Disorder and several other medical issues that complicate it. Like you shopping is a big deal or just doing laundry. Getting to the shower some days is a big deal. Today I got up at 5pm after taking meds twice in bed, I finally was driven to get up because of pelvic pain from laying down. All this because I went out to do laundry yesterday, thats it.

I am now facing being alone and living alone for the rest of my life with a progressing medical issues situation. What do we do Sis? I never know what I am going to be able to make a show I have prepaid for or even shower some days until afternoon or later. God help us girl, God help us. I too am feeling very lonely and disconnected from everyone. I would like to have someone that I can talk with, laugh with and be supportive in the time of need. Charlene, I feel the exact same way. It hurts, it really does. Have no way of knowing what to do. If you have found a solution please let me know.

Andrea, I could have said the same thing you did — never, ever, did I think I would be this lonely. I love to have fun, laugh. So perhaps as you Bonny and I all feel the same , perhaps we could all become friends. What do you think girls?? That lasted 25 years. Have three beautiful kids and four amazing grandchildren. Remarried someone I respected and trusted, He turned out to be a narcissist.

That lasted 17 years. He left me on the day my son in law died from a brain tumor. He was having an affair with an old flame whose husband was in hospice dying from ALS. Two years after that divorce I started seeing someone I graduated high school with. Turns out his married female best friend, 18 years younger, is more important than the loving, meaningful relationship I thought we had. I had a difficult time with him taking her to the movies, lunch and just hanging out. So he left me after 2 years. He thought I was unreasonable. Thank you to anyone who reads this and can relate.

How do I join this group? I need a lady around my age to live with me, do arts and crafts with, and someone who loves lots of tiny dogs to play with. I live in FL. I never thought I would be this lonely and ignored by my children. And I thought I was the only one. If I could I would certainly do volunteer work but, alas, not to be.

I am married, have 2 sons, who make courtesy phone calls. In fact, one lives 2 blocks from me with 4 little grandchildren I would dearly love to see. Not to be — his wife wants no part of me and my son visits with the little ones every 2 weeks for 2 hours max and now he is moving away.

I doubt I will ever see either of my sons again in this lifetime. My husband who is in great shape with my encouragement has made friends and visits them often, passing at least 2 full days a week with them and when he is with me he spends entire days, from sun-up to sundown outside tinkering with all his toys. I feel discouraged, abandoned, lonely. I would volunteer or at least try but he demands that when he is here or is outside ignoring me that I be in the house. I had a good career, I was busy, spent a lot of time with my elderly mother. I have no brothers or sisters and have lost all my friends along the way, partly because of the agonizing pain no one seems to even want to talk about — family, doctors….

And so I know how it feels. I have a lot more the say but no one to share it with. Maybe we could start chatting, learning about each other, and progress to a genuine friendship leading to more positive outlooks knowing their is 1 friend out there willing to talk of whatever and we could start putting some kind of positives in our lives, each leaning our each other to make us see out others or start doing things… who knows… maybe some day even meeting….

I reach out to you as you reach out. Who knows maybe there is some light out there. I wanted to kill myself yesterday but when I read your post I thought — there is someone out there in my very shows. We could try in each our own way to find happiness and rid ourselves of this loliness….. Maddy and all, I am glad you did not kill yourself, Maddy. Most experts are saying within 10 years, we will have greatly expanded life extension through medical control, so vast that it will seem as though we have no maximum lifespan!

My two girls have found their place in life,And my son,Who knows? I am a 63 year old widow. I have family a son but only hear from them if they need anything. They, are always on the go and my son is not allowed to contact me, unless they need something. I have helped them alot financially and have done alot of baby sitting. My entire adult life has been terribly difficult.

I moved closer to my one son and his kids but never hear from them unless I initiate contact. In a bad relationship with a man who does not live with me, but have been together for years. We are not intimate any longer and he blames me. I want a commitment and am trying to follow what the Lord wants.

I am tired of being emotionally neglected and starved for affection. So tired of being alone. Love to all the ladies on here. We all deserve so much more than poverty, loneliness and disrespect. Hi, my name is Andrea and I am in the same situation as many as you are. I tried meet ups but that did not help me.

I would just like to meet a friend that I can talk to, listen to and share a friendship. Hi Andrea My name is Paul. I am 60 yrs old. I have 3 children. I was a single parent. My ex wife l eft then when my youngest daugher was 3 yrs old. Now they are full grown and married.

Or someone to chat with everyday. Sometimes it gets frustrating being all alone. There are Meet up groups for Seniors. I am in Sacramento, CA. I live in Manteca, CA sbout an hour or so from you. I am 67 years old. My 65 year old husband left me on May 9th to live with a year old woman he met on a dating site at the end of March. I am going through separation and will be filing for divorce hopefully soon so I can go on with my life. I love dancing of all types.

Yes, there are meetup groups in the twin cities are full of women. We all may need to look at men and women once again sharing rental homes together. My retirement as a professional ed. I in some way feel your pain. I absolutely hate this article with a strong passion. You are trying to justify a shocking number of 15m people not wanting to be married again as a statistic? You have no underlying results, and the quantifiable analysis on the wide margin of an age group is bogus. You are rallying people without relationships, with short term relationships, mid term relationships, long term relationships, people with loved ones who passed away, and everything inbetween.

End results to all who read this, be happy, find what makes you happy, and pursue it as long as it is violent and make sure you treat everyone as you want to be treated, in a friendly manner. Wow are you serious? That would be my dream come true! I would love to leave Georgia! I would not be able to get there because I have never driven a car at all and I will not get on a plane! My God bless you every day. Faith, belief, love of God my have answered my prayers! What do you enjoy doing! Are you a Christian? My name is Rachel. Im 63 years young and refused to let a number to determine my feelings.

Thanks for these open, honest comments. No children, lots of moving and unexpected traumatic events. Lived a very different kind of life. I am in the exact same boat. I have learned that a domestic partner was the way to go for me. Then, she passed almost 2 years ago. I think that my reason why no legal marriage had to do with my upbringing. Our attachment style is formed early in our lives, between us and influential caregivers.

I have no regrets exept the cancer part. Hi Sherry I am just the opposite have to many kids and would like to get away from them all.. So count yourself lucky. I to am lonely and looking for some friends my age to hang out with. I raised 3 of my own children and adopted 6 more so I have been busy raising them now they are grown and expect me to keep raising them the youngest is now 23 my oldest is Time for me to live my life. My dear friend since high school always said we would travel when everyone grew up we are now 71 and she is still working. I live in northern Illinois and seriously thinking of selling my house and leaving the country..

I have my heart set on Nova Scotia I have not been there yet. But keep studying everything about it. I plan to go in June and check it out. Just want to talk go places but I have no money. I would just be glad to have someone to go to movies or out to eat. Wondering how your family compared to that family. We too are trying to sell our house and move South. Hi Sherry, I have always dreamed of going to Nova Scotia too. I live in NYC right now: Sherry, I see your name a lot. Is this just a sounding board or how do you meet the people you are talking to and have so much in common to talk about?

Andrea, I have lots of posts here because I really feel there is potential to make connections here, although it may be a sounding board for some. Also I think it helps all of us because through this thread we see we have a lot of company when it comes to loneliness. Not easy to find real connections though. Not certain how this site works but can relate to most of you. If anyone can advise I would appreciate it.

Even the online sites for those without children have closed down. There are actually about six secured dating websites out there. So I am not really sure what you are viewing on line. I was on one forum just for people to connect online, friendship or not. That one closed down soon after I joined and the other similar sites were also closed.

If interested in this and other things, you can email me: Maybe we can help each other out with this new adventure! I live in Gainesville ga. I am exactly in the same boat. People can say to each their own meaning that no one person would never be correct to direct any other adults actions. I have personally found that if one lives in a metropolitan area that it has more clubs more resources. At the same time, it is all about companies spending their advertising to get the word out there.

I have seen people in hospitals never having any visitors. Still, some people that become patients prefer it this way. And, am working on being pro active to improve my life in a relationship. Im 52 feeling the same way. Last man I was with was my husband 12 years ago. I want to share with someone. Male female just companionship. It would be nice to have a conversation with you.

They treated me like crap my whole life, all us siblings, no one talks to anyone. I got married at 36, I used to get abused at jobs then come home and get abused by my parents and siblings. But I truly believe what goes around comes around. My son and 5 cats and dog keep me going. I finally got married at 42 and that was just a waste of 10 years and a self-esteem killer in the end…. I moved to this little town because I could afford to buy here, at the time.

And never fit in. I have some health issues but can still be active, usually. I used to be so bouncy and busy and productive. Everyone treats me like how they see me…. My friends are online now. I love good, deep conversation, keeping informed in politics, world events, Christian beliefs. Better than nothing, keeps my mind busy…..

I feel like I am stuck also Linda. The town I live in has no activities for seniors. My husband has been gone for 7 years now and I have been lonely that whole time. They have a huge camper but they never invite me to go camping with them. I would be so excited if I could just go with them one time. I do have a car thankfully because I need a car to get to the grocery store and to run other errands.

But that is about all I do in my life is running errands and get groceries. I have been on depression pills and they helped a little but there are days that I am just really sad and wish I had someone in my life. I do not want to get married again have been there a couple of times and do not wish to do that again. I just wish there was some way we could all get together and be friends.

Just read your post and I know exactly how you feel. Moved to a new location approximately 10 years ago. Hope your situation has improved since your post! My heart broke hearing your words! My husband passed away 5 years ago and my children and grandchildren abandoned me to! You have a friend now me. I would like to connect with you. I am in the same boat. Have one daughter and son-in-law that lives near me but both are so busy that they really do not have time for me. I only have one good friend and we used to do things together but she has been ill and her husband has been ill so that has kept us from getting together.

So I am very lonely too. I have three cats which give me some companionship but not having any friends to do things with is really hard. I have gone to church before but have neverfelt a part of anything there. It would be so nice if some of these letters that we read here where we could find out who they are and how far away they live from us so that we might be able to make friends with each other so that we would not feel so alone and lonely.

I tried internet dating several times and it is not for me A year ago I met a chronic liar who had a substance abuse record. Some are paid, at least one is free and there are a few facebook pages, although they may not be active enough. If you explain yourself, as you did in your post, you have a chance to get some good responses.

Hi Zachie- At present I am having trust issues with men in general. I do love dancing though and I am trying to grt the courage to go to older dance clubs alone, and line dancing. I know exactly how you feel. It really does hurt. I am in the same situation. I desperately miss having a best girlfriend… -Shelia.

I have learned that there is a grieving process after a separation, divorce, leaving a long term friendship, partnership and a persons demise. Some move easily forward and some do not. The people who wish to be alone til their demise with no companionship whatsoever, etc. They find peace their own way. I do not want that way for myself. I am not sure who is getting this message but after being only not lonely for 6 years my feelings have changed.

I have lots of female friends I luv their company but I now feel I would like some male Chatter. So I went online and met a very nice man so quickly that I just could not believe it. We spoke for three months online and never met because he lives out of the country and worked out of the country. He was very very pleasant and I had really started to fall in love with him.

To make a long story short I found out just this last week that I was being scammed they call it romance scammed. It has broken my heart but I do not talk to him anymore because he really is not who he said he is. Be careful if you go online there are so many scammers out there today and they will take advantage of you and not blink an eye doing it. I lost my husband of 33 years suddenly. I have 2 grown daughters that try and include me in things , I am grateful for that.

Even people I worked with for over a decade just disappeared. Sometimes I really believe people are afraid to talk to widows. I am or was very active loneliness is worse than death.

I have not moved forward easily. I am also very lonely. I have a busy job, which more than anything I want to get out of, in an unfriendly city where nothing really good has ever happened for me.

I have a few friends here, more abroad. My family is all overseas. I did a bit of dating but it gave me panic attacks — ridiculous, I know. I am afraid that I will be alone forever, stuck. I do a lot of stuff by myself — going out, trying new things, meeting people, travelling — but I never feel really relaxed anymore. I am also afraid to quit my job and strike out alone — being old and poor — and alone!

But being here is a living purgatory. I would also like to meet up, but you all seem to live a long way from where I am. Hi Helen, My story is similar to yours. This is the worst part of my life and an off button would be helpful. I lost my husband to cancer. I had health insurance. He did not… his business fell into trouble when the collapse stopped all lending to contractors.. My biz was doing great and he did not want me to worry about his biz struggles.

I paid cash for his medical.. My loves are fishing, hiking, hunting, camping. Try finding a woman to do those things. And men… no go… I do not want to date anyone and male friends for outdoor companions do not exist. I am college-educated and have built 3 businesses. There is no senior center here… there is no grocery store within 25 miles. Soo I struggle to pay bill. I go fishing alone. I go months during winter alone.. I had a busy, full life with too many people, plenty of money, 40 years of marriage , travel, faculty friends..

I am truly not depressed but i really have little desire to keep on going. This, quite frankly, sucks! I am 73 and still work in my business. Someone i can share my inter most thoughts with. Someone to go on trips with. Go out to eat. Just someone who enjoys my company. I live in Alabama. I have a sister and a brother left and neither are anywhere near me.

I just went to the store today and fell in their bakery area……surprised me, really did. I think I turned too quickly and bumped into a post. I think a lot about no one checking on me, I could probably lie on the floor for several days before a neighbor might decide to check……. The only thing I really do outside the house is go to church and bible study class. Speaking for myself, I have some health issues that prevent me from traveling or otherwise getting out on a regular basis so that I can meet other people. If you have the health to enjoy these years you are truly blessed. You can only rely on the internet so much for friendships.

I never ever thought I would be 61 years old and be alone. The more I am alone, the more I desire to be alone. I am 87 years old this month and have never felt alone. Always learning something new. Began learning the saxophone six months ago and having a ball. Played clarinet and oboe as a child. Going from classical to jazz. I have many blessings and am grateful for each day. Do have to deal with scoliosis and macular degeneration which is annoying but in the context of things, I am a lucky lady.

Have had a very full life. Hi Easter it is wonderful that you continue to learn, I will be 86 in 8 days, and I learn something new every day, I am alone but I am not lonely at all. There are ways not to feel lonely just have a hobby that you really enjoy and are good at it, something that you can do every day and look forward to all tomorrows. In when I retired I was 70 years old, I was very fortunate that I could afford to travel, and travel I did for 13 consecutive years: After selling my home in Naples Fl I decide to return to California and chose Hemet because was miles north of Spring Valley and a cheeper place to live, bought a mobil home there and all that I needed for security and comfort, I have my car and still enjoy exploring places near me.

I was born in Italy, in I moved to the United States,for more than 44 years I lived in Florida, Florida is a wonderful place to be, especially the Florida Keys were I had a home for 36 years, but Florida is flat and for natural beautiful landscapes you needed to travel north or west, In my travel I took over If you want to see my paintings go to Michael Micalizzi of Hemet on Facebook and let me know if you like my style. The problems I have been facing is that galleries and art judging exhibitions are not interested on promoting a person of my age because I would not be around for very long to produce more paintings, a classical case of discrimination for an old person, that is the way it is.

Have a great Christmas Holiday. Iam 56 yr old woman single one son 25 lives on his own and Iam very lonely would love to find friends both male and female and Iam not sure if there even is a place to do that?! Soes anyone know of a place to make friends after 55??? In the Miami area, this. It is why it exists. So, you are in the same boat as so many others. Go to your nearest local community center and get their monthly list of activities and then just pass by when an activity you like is on.

If you like the crowd, then sign up to be a member. If computer savvy and have the money go to the most popular singles sites that have your info secured emphasis added. I am 69 and alone as well. I found a small church that I am happy with. Everyone is very friendly. I also have a Shih Tzu. I believe having a pet and church family helps. Senior Centers are good also. I still miss having a steady person to go to dinner with and just be around the house. My husband died from cancer 11 years ago. It would be nice to share with another the wonders of life at our age.

I still work part-time and met a lot of older and younger people.

Is there anything I can do?

They never look down on us seniors working for reasons. I enjoy senior activities , being with the grand-kids, art work, and more of a country person. I am looking for companionship with someone that I may have something in common with. I enjoy going to murder-mysteries on stage production and so on….. This site is for the general public in the features section and is not secured. Best not to type in any personal information. Steve, The point pf what ppl are saying here i believe is We are looking to make connections. When we age some looe family or never had any.. Hello Sharyn How are you doing today?

I can recommend it if your city has a chapter as most mid to large sized cities do. Do not reply to this person. You can tell by their poor use of English grammar that this is probably a Nigerian scammer. I have tried Meet Up a few times but since people come with other friends, it is hard to connect with that one person. I live in Northern Ca. I lived in N. I was in Berkeley just once when someone dragged me to a protest about something.

What is your story? There should be etiquette regarding talking too much about your relatives, especially oohing and aahing to others about their kids and grandkids. I am 64 years old and live in Florida. I am a retired nurse. I am currently in a loveless relationship and have been for 10 years. I have two good friends who come to visit me every year from up north.

I miss having a connection with a friend. My partner does not have any friends and never wants to leave the house. I would love to have a companion for walking, going to lunch, exploring places laughing,, etc. Even living with someone can be more lonely than living alone.

Janice, I imagine it could be lonelier to live with someone like that. Do you have close family nearby? I am fortunate that I have two married daughters that live in Florida. I am very close with my grandchildren also. I had a very rough time with my youngest daughter a couple of years ago. At that time, I began to focus on me. I joined a gym, got involved with my other daughter and grandkids, and realized I needed to focus me. Fortunately, My youngest daughter and I have reconciled. She has grown up a lot and I am now enjoying a relationship with her, my son-in-law, and 18 mo grandson.

I guess I have just met the wrong type of people…no connection. As long as I can be healthy and comfortable enough, I think I can make it. Hi i want to move to fla but have no family or friends there iam 76 but very healthy love to walk were are you in fla iam coming for vacation soon. I wish you lived near me, I am in the same situation and would love to make some new friends, I just never know where to go to meet them.. All the best, Patty. I definitely agree with you. I have found that people are settled in their own cliques and very difficult to break the ice.

I really appreciate your response. It is kind of nice to know there is someone out there that feels as I do. He actually attempts to talk to me and sticks to me like glue, in bed he burrows beneath the blanket and conforms his body to mine so I have a natural hot water bottle. So I would recommend getting a dog if a person is allowed to where they live and can afford one. Doggies also love being walked so it gets you out to parks and areas set aside for dogs where people with their dogs seem to more easily strike up conversations that, of course, revolve around their dogs.

Pets can be very important. I have an online friend who has no family to speak of and no local friends. Her rabbit gives her company and happiness. Walking pets out in public is one of the best ways to make friends. I am living proof because when I was 18 and in a new area, I had a family of 4 kids and 4 dogs befiend me — I hardly had to say a word and it got me a babysitting job for the 4 kids,.

Originally, from New England. Have lived here 10 years. I too would love to move to FL but I too have no family or friends there. Do you have an area in mind? I moved here last July and would love to find someone to do things with… flea markets, trips, bingo, whatever. Hello Janice my name is Joan I also live in Florida, lake county.. I am 70 a ypung 70 my children and grandchildren live in Florida but you know how it is everyone is busy.. Hi Janice — We are the same age. I am a still-working professional and live in S.

What part of Florida are you in? My family is not nearby and I am a widow. I am thankful for my pets. I think the long weekends and holidays are the most difficult. I enjoy my home but would like to have more social things to look forward to with a good local friend similarly situated to break the monotony. Plays, concerts, museums, etc. I would like to live in FL. Hi Jesse Hi I feel the same way. Very painful to be alone for me as well. Please drop me a line and maybe we can talk.

I would never want anyone else just him. Bottom line is we will either be with our loved ones in an afterlife, either in heaven or here on earth by Godly intervention or we will live long enough to see people actually brought back to live via tech, but of course that will take hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of years. Yes I know how you feel I lost the love of my life 3 years ago.. It seems good friends are hard to make everyone has their own group.. Now at 65, retired, widowed … One daughter, family and child out of state.

The other lives away. For 36 years I loved being a wife, mother, and career. Now I live alone in small town. How do I find a NEW self worth? Hi, I just turned 61 and I am retired. I suffer with depression and anxiety which confines me to be honest. I have no children and family is not an option for me to have much of a social network. I just moved back to my home state and I feel terribly alone, it is just me and my cat here. I find myself overridden with anxiety about my will, beneficiarys, and especially an emergency contact.

Recently I fear driving which I never had problems with.

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Just to have someone check on me is a Godsend, and I am blessed to have an acquaintance that worries about me, and contacts me once in a while to touch bases. Church attendance is iffy at the most, and even that makes me anxious. I know if I was more social some of these problems would be fixed but with depression and anxiety issues it is easier said than done. Thank you for letting me vent a little.

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