What Ifs of Life: Second Guessing the Decisions that we Made
There is power in simply letting things go and deciding to re-evaluate them at a future date.
But, if you're anything like me, that doesn't stop you from second guessing yourself: How many times have we bailed on decisions or choices made with the above Here's why second-guessing is dangerous and can be a threat to your life. Second guessing your decisions — once they've been made — only What If? When you're facing a major crossroad in your life — be that a.
But we are always making the best decisions we have access to at the moment. We are always under construction. You are not who you were yesterday and you are not who you will be tomorrow. So, make peace with that.
Life is full of second chances. We are always in a state of evolution. In learning how to walk, you had to crawl first, and maybe you wobbled and skinned your knees a few times. Sonya Derian is the owner and founder of Om Freely, a company dedicated to helping people live out loud, tap into their power, and transform their lives. To pick up your free ebook: Or check out her online store at: This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.
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Avoiding Suffering
Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking. Though I run this site, it is not mine. Think about it for yourself. How many of you believe that if you went to renew your license tomorrow, and you went to the DMV, and you encountered one of these forms, that it would actually change your own behavior? Very hard to think that it would influence us. We can say, "Oh, these funny Europeans, of course it would influence them. Now, you might say, "These are decisions we don't care about.
How could we care about something less than about something that happens after we die? So a standard economist, somebody who believes in rationality, would say, "You know what? The cost of lifting the pencil and marking a "V" is higher than the possible benefit of the decision, so that's why we get this effect.
But, in fact, it's not because it's easy.
- Sophias Secret.
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It's not because it's trivial. It's not because we don't care.
It's because we care. It's difficult and it's complex. And it's so complex that we don't know what to do. And because we have no idea what to do, we just pick whatever it was that was chosen for us. I'll give you one more example. This is from a paper by Redelmeier and Shafir.
And they said, "Would this effect also happens to experts? People who are well-paid, experts in their decisions, and who make a lot of them? They presented to them a case study of a patient. They said, "Here is a patient. He is a year-old farmer. He's been suffering from right hip pain for a while. All these medications, nothing seems to be working. So you refer the patient for hip replacement therapy. Then they said to half of the physicians, "Yesterday, you reviewed the patient's case, and you realized that you forgot to try one medication. You did not try ibuprofen.
What do you do? Do you pull the patient back and try ibuprofen? Or do you let him go and have hip replacement? Very good for the physicians. To the other group of physicians, they said, "Yesterday when you reviewed the case, you discovered there were two medications you didn't try out yet — ibuprofen and piroxicam. You let him go, or you pull him back?
Why do some countries give a lot and some countries give a little? And then congratulate yourself, because this is how new behavior is born! Then in high school I gave up processed sugar for Lent. But why would that be the case? This is from a paper by Redelmeier and Shafir.
And if you pull him back, do you try ibuprofen or piroxicam? This decision makes it as easy to let the patient continue with hip replacement, but pulling him back, all of the sudden it becomes more complex. There is one more decision. The majority of the physicians now choose to let the patient go for a hip replacement. I hope this worries you, by the way —. The thing is that no physician would ever say, "Piroxicam, ibuprofen, hip replacement.
Let's go for hip replacement. I'll give you a couple of more examples on irrational decision-making. Imagine I give you a choice: Do you want to go for a weekend to Rome, all expenses paid — hotel, transportation, food, a continental breakfast, everything — or a weekend in Paris? Now, weekend in Paris, weekend in Rome — these are different things.
They have different food, different culture, different art. Imagine I added a choice to the set that nobody wanted. Imagine I said, "A weekend in Rome, a weekend in Paris, or having your car stolen? It's a funny idea, because why would having your car stolen, in this set, influence anything? But what if the option to have your car stolen was not exactly like this? What if it was a trip to Rome, all expenses paid, transportation, breakfast, but it doesn't include coffee in the morning? If you want coffee, you have to pay for it yourself, it's two euros Now in some ways, given that you can have Rome with coffee, why would you possibly want Rome without coffee?
It's like having your car stolen. It's an inferior option. But guess what happened?
Second Guessing and Insecurity
The moment you add Rome without coffee, Rome with coffee becomes more popular, and people choose it. The fact that you have Rome without coffee makes Rome with coffee look superior, and not just to Rome without coffee — even superior to Paris. Here are two examples of this principle. This was an ad in The Economist a few years ago that gave us three choices: Now I looked at this, and I called up The Economist, and I tried to figure out what they were thinking.
And they passed me from one person to another to another, until eventually I got to the person who was in charge of the website, and I called them up, and they went to check what was going on.
The next thing I know, the ad is gone, no explanation. So I decided to do the experiment that I would have loved The Economist to do with me. I took this and I gave it to MIT students. I said, "What would you choose?
Career Protocol
Thankfully, nobody wanted the dominant option. That means our students can read.
- Das Geheimnis der kleinen Waldkapelle: Eine lustige Tiergeschichte (German Edition).
- Birthday Surprises Are Best Served Nude.
- .
But now, if you have an option that nobody wants, you can take it off, right? So I printed another version of this, where I eliminated the middle option.
What Could Have Been
Reach into yourself and reflect on who you are, what you prefer, and how you think and make decisions. Then, be consistent with whatever you come up with as you grow and develop. So, trust your conception of yourself. Leave the fish alone. Consistency helps us ground ourselves and build confidence. Going back to the example in the beginning, imagine that you chose choice C without second guessing, but suppose C was actually incorrect. I think making a mistake like that is much healthier for a person than changing the answer and getting it correct by chance.
I would rather be wrong about something that I was confident in than right about something I guessed on.