Gladiator We might not be able to choose aspects of our life, or even how we die, but we can choose how we live. Good Will Hunting Your life will not measure by what you know. It will only be measured by what you do. And how you feel about it. It is difficult to explain with words on paper what our inner demons look like. But if we take up golf, we are likely to experience them. It is the mastery of our attention that we can then master the game.
The Game A convoluted, suspenseful mystery thriller or not????? In time we all can learn to be artist of our life. The Highlander Only the first one, not the sequels. Perhaps an externalized version of your internal spiritual warrior taking on inner demons, or perhaps not. Hook Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams. The Imagination is more powerful and interesting than knowledge. Knowing the truth is the easy part, saying it is the hard part. Ladies when you find a man with Integrity, the leap to live in his world will be a challenge if you haven't done your own work Robert Redford.
The Hurt Locker War is hell and hell does things to your mind. Academy award winner about IED disposal in Iraq. Immortal Beloved The story of Beethoven. It is one thing to write music, but to do so when you are physically nearly deaf.
Instinct Anthony Hopkins recovers his Integrity. And gets Cuba Gooding Jr. In Her Shoes Cameron Diaz The agreements we make earlier in life are easier to change through love than through punishment. Jacobs Ladder Tim Robbins a little dark We dream. We dream when we sleep and when we no longer have a body. If we do it with some awareness, it can make all the difference. Lars and the Real Girl Acceptance and Compassion is healing healing in a time of weirdness.
Legend of Baggar Vance We all lose our swing and fall down at some point. But warriors get back up again Matt Damon and Will Smith. Little Miss Sunshine Laught out loud funny. Good for the soul like that. Over a long enough time "success of winning" always loses out. Love Actually - Huge cast and laugh out loud funny. Quite true that Love is actually, everywhere, we just have to look for it, and know what it looks like to find it. Lord of the Rings Big, Big film.
The temptation and seduction of Power. One of the challenges and obstacles a warrior faces. It can only be passed with complete humility. The Lord of the Flies Without common law, we resort to might being right, and we have one type of social order. With law and agreements, we have different social structure. But if that law does not have common sense, we have something else. Master and Commander Leadership, courage, and respect well demonstrated. The Matrix Classic tale of the Hero Myth told in future time.
The brothers who wrote and directed it have done their homework. Lawrence Fishbourne and Keanu Reaves. We are all artists, We are all amazingly powerful, what will we create, and what will influence us in our decisions? Momento Incredible mind bending What do we really know for sure? And, can we really trust what we are sure of? My Life A Statement for recapitulating the domestication of your life.
Whether you think you need it or not Micheal Keaton and Nicole Kidman. Mysts of Avalon The same story of our transformation gets transformed just as we do. The impermanence of the form of myth, in the midst of the permanent path. Magnolia A long one, and not necessarily that enjoyable throughout. You have to be patient to appreciate what it is saying. The message can still be elusive. The Nine Queens Foreign film. All our intellectual thinking will not help us out of the dream we are in.
But perhaps courage, love and intent will. Pan's Labrynth When it comes to the world of illusion and trickery we are in,,, it might only be surrpassed by the trickery we have to pull off to get out. Passion of Christ Recent film by Mel Gibson. Tough to watch if you just see the expressions and treatment to Jesus.
Inspiring if you notice throughout the Integrity and expression of Love Forgiveness and support to everyone. I watch it to "see" his message as he lived it. Pay It Forward Moving, touching, emotional and inspiring. Packed full of agreements to learn from. Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt, two of my favorites. Passion of Mind What are we when we dream? Do we ever stop? It sometimes plays on PBS. Campbell is beautifully brilliant. Patch Adams The world is crazy. For those that touch sanity, they often feel like they don't belong. And this can be somewhat uneasy, but it is not crazy Robin Williams.
Powder We fear what we don't understand. This simple act of kindness on your part will help the books to become available to many people for free as a healing resource. Click here to help. Discover Your Life Plan. Sign up and receive a free video download "Your Soul's Plan: The Spiritual Meaning of Your Life. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. Watch more of Rob Schwartz on youtube. What has helped me was consistent meditation, support from friends phone and email have been working just as good as in person since my deepest friendships are all over , crying, and something called the I Ching.
I learned about the I Ching in acupuncture school and it has helped tremendously get through times of overwhelm, stress, confusion etc etc. And my friends and clients have been blown away by how powerfully it helps shift from that anxious, overwhelmed, tunnel vision state, to acceptance, peace, confidence, and a birds-eye view of the situation. You should totally check it out. Google it, or ask me. Thanks for sharing your story. Just read your story on your site. Its amazing how our challenges guide us into amazing experiences. I have never had shiatsu but knew a lot of people in school who swore by it.
I would love to tell you more about my experience with the I Ching. Shoot me an email if you want to connect!
Ben Kingsley, one of my favorites. Focusing on me and it has been so good. Creative, Sacred and Invincible. The message can still be elusive. And, can we really trust what we are sure of?
One little shift makes a world of difference…thanks for the reminder. So much inspiration and helpful direction. Elise thanks for sharing the great insight on believing in yourself. Where did this come from is something I need to break apart. Not sure what exactly you went through, but you caught me on the last line.
Lets just say I have gone through a recent battle in Oct. That shook my entire work, dream, and family. In two weeks I find out that the four people in my life I thought wanted the best for me and were my friends, colleagues etc. Actually were nothing near what I thought, the sad part is I was so busy, working on my school, and my family. Here I was for the past 8 years building this dream of mine, and now it has come true!
Two years here I am working so hard to make this school the best for my children and other families with the help and presence of these four, while I thought they were a friend. I found out the hard way in two weeks, God wanted to show me who they really were and what they wanted. So imagine In two weeks I almost lose my business, my husband, my sanity and my children.
Thinking why me why, how can someone be so mean, how can someone be able to take someone work and make theirs, AND THEN get away with it! I chose ME, It was a blessing in disguise! Because at the end of the day you are crying, you are stressed, you are doing this to you, not them, they were done after and are living!
Its now two months after that storm and you know that saying whatever happens must come back around again, from rock bottom I am back to successful, and found out that all my clients that left me at the time, are all now back sharing stories on how they should of stayed, I have regained all my clients in three days, and added more! And actually working on getting funding to publish my own book. To add the icing as unfortunate as it sounds I hear those who hurt me and under minded my wealth of knowledge! Are now getting the emails and calls this break of there clients pulling away from them.
I think I have said enough, I hope it helps, I have to say I read posts all the time maybe for the last three years and I Never reply or share something. So Your words were so real I had to post! So there you go that is my first post ever. Breaking my fears one by one….
There did come a point when I made that touchdown. And not only did I arrive, I arrived, planted the flag and sang the anthem! I still remember the exact phrase that went through my head and it was: Depression has a habit of making you feel quite the opposite to feeling capable and empowered but at that moment I said it with such conviction and with such complete belief in my ability that in that moment I caught a glimpse of that girl I was so desperate to see again.
Life has become a bit more complicated a few more times since but your post reminded me that the one thing that worked and worked better than all the others in my fight with depression and bringing me closer to my goal was changing my attitude. Having a safe and cushy place to FEEL is going to be important. When going through a breakup of whatever kind!
If not, surround yourself with supportive people! Alison, so happy you said this one right away! The friend who makes you feel down or is always preoccupied with her own problems — OUT! No energy vampires allowed during these kind of trying times. The support and perspective they gave me was pivotal to me moving forward. Sara totally agree about not including those judgmental friends!!
I found that out the hard way. Sara, thank you for commenting and sharing your feelings bc you just encouraged me. I just recently lost my only sibling and sister to suicide and for me it has been a very different emotional roller coaster in terms of the grieving process, and as if that alone is not enough, im feeling extremely disregarded and disrespected from my husband.
After my breakup, I re-evaluated my life and goals, which lead me to start my life coaching business! My breakup a little over a year ago was very sad.
Think of a kid who falls down and scrapes his knee with blood visible. Then perhaps are the hugs and love. Really cool video, thanks for sharing Sandy! It definitely puts things in perspective at a basic level everyone can understand. I cannot tell you how thankful I am to run across this!!! Being a music lover and a dancer dance like no one is watching!! I have stepped in some piles along my journey but I just have to remember to keep on walking and singing my song!!
And thank you for tip 2—really experiencing the physical aspects of the pain sounds like it could shift things in the moment. Soooooooo important not to drown in the story and drama. Not easy, but friends and a good coach can smack you lovingly out of it. I love that Caroline!
That can help a lot. Ha ha — thanks Caroline! This is such an amazing episode because it applies to so many different situations.
When I feel lost, I surround myself with things and people I love. I always say experiences are neutral. Only we create meaning. There was a time in my life like everyone else where the rug was pulled out from underneath me. But looking back, I sum up that time as break-up, breakdown, and breakthrough. It was only when I was broken open, that my real light started to shine through.
Quantum leaps came from what appeared to be devastation. Pain is just an opportunity to find out how grand you really are. Much love your way. You have to polish yourself through pain and bruises to allow your light to shine through. Down the road you learn to be grateful for the pain. It forces you to keep expanding. You can never continue to expand while being comfortable. Making lemonade when lemons rain down on you is hard but totally possible. Hey Marie — love your make-shift ghetto set. And you do look great even on DayQuil.
Must be cause of that awesome blow-dry…. I love everything you talk about here. When things fall apart for me as they have many times , I tell myself three things:. Nothing I can do about that. Everything that happens is exactly as it should happen. This is happening for a reason. Everything will work itself out. I am smart, capable, and most importantly as long as I stay in touch with my intuition I know I will always be walking down the right path for me.
This is a great opportunity to… insert here: Telling myself all of this every day, multiple times a day, really helps. In the end, you have to accept that worrying about the future is not your business. Your business is making the most out of the present moment and being the best YOU that you can be right now. And things will work themselves out. Hi Marie, Great video full of good tips. I completely relate to what you say about, one day being glad for something painful that happened in the past. Until a couple of years ago, I was working in Financial Services in London.
The sort of really well paid job that comes with a totally hectic work-life balance. Unsurprisingly for anyone spending most of her waking hours in the office, I ended-up getting involved with a colleague more out of loneliness than anything else to be honest. This turned-out to be a very painful relationship: Eventually, he went back to his home country and left me. I was completely devastated at the time. I felt like I was seeing our past ghosts at every corner in London.
About a year later, I finally took the courage to resign. I spent nine months doing other things teaching Pilates in Portugal, training as a Life Coach, etc. This was probably the best decision in my life! I met a wonderful man, just one month into the programme. Even those things that felt painful at the time. Elsa, your story is a brilliant example of what Marie says in this video. I love your story Elsa! It really does remind me of how a phoenix rises from the ashes — everything must crumble before a huge transformation can take place.
Thanks for sharing your story! Thank you so very much for sharing it. When Maria leaves the nunnery, the Mother Superior says to her when one door closes another one opens. Clean up your space. Surround yourself with supportive people. Go out into nature. Jotting it down and will refer to it frequently…thanks for sharing. And, a really excellent episode Marie! I love these five steps, so simple and obvious, yet completely forgotten at times!
I love the dress well part! I use that all the time with my clients. I ask them when the last time they dressed up for work was… likely a while ago. And…they always feel great afterwards. Malwina, I love this so much I wrote it, as a reminder, in my most special handwriting on a beautiful heavy stock Crane note card. The 5-ways to cultivate confidence deserved a few moments of mindful reflection.
I tend to eat far too much processed fatty food, and not enough clean decent food. My boyfriend supports me, my family well, my mum supports me, but most of my friends just think I should be grateful that I have what I have, and stop wanting more. At the moment I spend my time in my house, my car, or the office at work. None of those are particularly good for me or relaxing! So as you can see, I can immediately identify ways in which I can improve my life in all these areas. Thank you sharing Malwina and what a beautiful name! It is very simple and very important, well said. I was totally shattered.
I just shut down. I made the announcement on my blog and then shortly thereafter, we broke up. During that time, I just allowed myself to work through the pain. I accepted my responsibility in why we broke up, I found things to be grateful for, tried some new things to keep me busy including going vegan for 30 days, and lastly, I went to therapy to help me. I have definitely been in this space before. I then get down on myself and my productivity drops even more. I start to feel like a bit of a loser. One technique I learned recently is to use a kitchen timer and to set it for 1 hour.
I then make a promise to myself to honour the importance of my work and to not leave my desk for the whole of that hour and just keep pushing through any urges I have to get distracted, or to leave my desk or to insist on my work being perfect! I find that having that 1 hour timeframe helps me to focus and because I know that when the hour is up I will allow myself a 10 minute break to get up, walk around the garden, or put a load of washing on before I get back and reset my timer for another hour.
I usually do two lots of two hour intense work sessions before I have a longer break for around 20 — 30 minutes. I have also found that focusing on achieving something over a short time frame, helps me to achieve even bigger things across a week. I love that you mention doing for others healing the battered soul. I so agree, its soothing balm to get over yourself and serve others. It makes the issue seem smaller when working for the greater good. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.
I totally agree about focusing on the present moment, it really helps relieve anxiety and stress. I think keeping a gratitude journal or any journal is helpful as well. When my six year old daughter died, my life was turned upside down. One day at a time — one moment at a time — was all I could handle for quite a while. Crying and releasing was an important part of moving forward. The shower and car were my favorite crying places! Surrendering to a higher power was a turning point for me. Making a daily list of small tasks helped me to get through the day 1.
Noticing small miracles as they showed up and being grateful for them helped too. Marie is right that some suffering makes us stronger and we can grow through pain. Thinking of those people in Oklahoma today and sending love. Thank you for sharing your moving story Connie. I also think that having positive beliefs about ourselves and the world is critical to not seeing oneself as a victim.
And even though it can be very hard to maintain this in moments of intense grief — when your baseline is that you basically see the world as good place and yourself as a strong person, it does help to reduce the bitterness and sense of unfairness we might otherwise feel. Connie, thank YOU for sharing with us so bravely, and so openly today.
Your experience is so far beyond what most of us can imagine. With so much love and gratitude for your strength and generosity.
Connie, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to know what you have gone through with the loss of a child. What you have shared is so beautiful in its simplicity — recognizing the transformational shift that surrendering to a higher power can provide, making a list of tasks and noticing small miracles.
Thank you for sharing. I know loss can cause deep inner pain that feels like your guts have been ripped out, and each day seems impossible after the gaping hole in your life. When I lost my soul mate, who happened to be in the form of a magnificent collie-cross dog, I thought I was going to suffocate from the pain in my throat that I felt every day.
I was so angry and disorientated. She was my best friend, my child, my family. So I felt so alone in my grief. I have another beautiful dog and many other furry children, but Chloe was something special. I still believe she was an angel sent to help me through a difficult time in my life. Those very special years I had with her were a gift, a true blessing. And the love and relationship I experienced with her is hard to come by. There was one thing that stands out for me in my grieving process that truly helped me move forward and get past the worst, and that was practicing gratitude everyday, as often as possible.
And see from your post, you did the same. Even the smallest amount of gratitude goes a long way: If you truly embrace the moment, and give thanks for the opportunity to experience it, your spirit just lifts effortlessly. Thank you for your bravery. Thank you for sharing Connie and Lisa!! While I have not had to deal with a loss of someone that close, I have used those techniques to handle other difficult life situations. And the crying and releasing has been crucial for me as well!!
The shower is my favorite place too! This culture undervalues the benefit of releasing our grief. Thank God for showers, right? I recently lost my mother and have had several bouts of depression dealing with putting my life, business and self together. Just thinking about creating and manifesting my dreams will still cause fits of crying and overwhelming sadness.
My mother was my rock and my right hand in building my vision and self esteem when things got rough. Your story and this video have reminded me —all over gain— to BE EASY with myself and embrace each moment one day at a time. Ayana, one more idea I just remembered when reading your post. I had two small children so had little time for myself then, but I did one small thing — a massage, a walk with a friend, manicure — whatever I could swing.
A theater colleague asked me to audition for a play they were producing, someone else asked if I would consider hosting a cable tv show. It was almost weird how these opportunities showed up that actually sounded fun to me. And, at that time, I was also astounded that anything could actually be fun. So, try it Ayana, maybe it will work for you. Create little pockets of Joy every week and see what happens. Helping people get over fear and get unstuck is SO much fun for me, which sounds wonky, I suppose. But watching people recognize that they have all the awesomeness they need to get going already inside themselves.
In fact, my whole summer program is focused on helping people get back to what matters most and building a Noble Empire on their own terms. I have a friend that tells me that every loss bears a gift. Usually that gift is found inside ourselves. Even Vanessa said that she recognized they were moving apart. I have realized that every time I feel shattered, lost or depressed I do one of two things that really help me get grounded and feeling grateful and alive. When I do one of these two or either I usually feel really happy and makes me realize the beauty of life and how grateful I am to be experiencing all that I am, and then the letting go usually proceeds.
But when I was doing a session with a client yesterday who had an amazing breakthrough, I was totally focused on her and felt really good to be of service. I have expressed this before but my life was over in Vanessa everything happens for a reason. Embrace the pain; use it to move forward, to never want to be here again. One thing I do believe have no regrets… say sorry or goodbye…. Believe in yourself, be present and go for it you will be amazed at what you can do. Marie, Your authenticity is actually SO fun. You wonderfully do not pretend to be some version of perfect and just show us the truth behind the scenes…which of course makes ME feel like i can do it too.
You have a bit of magic in you girl and i thank you for sharing it. Last year I went through severe depression and gave up on just about everything because I was bullied, I soon got over it after reading your book, Marie! I know it sounds cliche but it really helped I then found you online and watched all your videos in like 2 days flat. Everything happens for a reason. Here this is something by an unknown author that I came across and would like to share it with you I believed it was unreal. I am compelled to finish this poem: I stood in my power, Battered, yet strong. Hi Faye, I am glad that you were compelled to finish the poem and not let it end with such gloom and doom.
Here is another possible ending as your written words inspired me. Surrendered my fighting, I opened my heart Found God waiting with a fresh new start Grace being sufficient I now have hope Praise God, halleujah, no longer contemplating suicide to cope. Being free to live again is my decision. Mind revived, pure and right Victory is mine and not only for the night! What a great topic…as we get older we are faced with more and more of these situations.
So, it pays to learn how to cope! For me, I struggle with how to reconcile being so happy to have him back at the expense of his loss. So, I try not to dwell on that but instead be grateful for how happy he makes me and the life we share together.
I agree with you completely. While I may not be able to fully comprehend that intelligence in a given moment, it allows me to shift into a space of grace and trust. Your content is amazing, real and comes from the heart. So yes, it helps! And you know what each time I do that — which is not that often, it is amazing how much help comes out of the woodwork and support from all these people who want to be there for me.
I totally agree with being completely open and honest with people in your life about what is going on, and along with that, really being up front with them that all you want from them is just someone to listen. I experienced this last year after the death of my mom in March I was at true peace with her death, but no one around me understood that. Then, to top it off, I began to go through an intense self-discovery process.
The more I tried to talk about stuff, the more awkward it got. Unfortunately, since I work in a church office, these were coworkers and fellow churchgoers that I see often, and several months of the silent treatment gets really awkward when all you want to do is share your process with those who you thought would support you.
Anyway, once I told my pastor all of this, he himself was actually skeptical about my ideas, which really hurt, but after a few days, he really turned around and is now supportive of me and is encouraging others to be as well. The biggest morals of the story of my last year have been these: As everyone is saying here, the greatest losses, even the loss of a family member or more than one , can teach you things about yourself you may not have been open to learning previously.
When you feel that you have practically no other support system, you learn what an amazing support system you can be to yourself. Talking to someone has been essential for me—especially in the face of the added shame I felt in keeping silent about losing my former support system, since I still had to see them so often. If you have one person that will listen, that is amazing, but more than one, if possible, is healthier.
They need not understand—they just need to exist in your space and witness your process, and communicate that they are there for you. Listening is indeed enough! That will mean the world to them. So to everyone whose life is falling apart—hang in there and stay open to receiving and growing—like Marie says, your greatest lessons may truly be just around the corner.
I hope your feeling better pretty lady. Great video this morning, I really needed the pick me up. How did you get to be such a smart young lady? You bring things back to Earth, good job, I am going to check out more of your blog. I am a cancer survivor! Meditation, meditation and meditation. I am experiencing this right now- Its good to know I am not alone.
Dealing with grief and loss, meditation has repeatedly come up for me and even a need to detach from social media which I use to detach from pain has surfaced. Thank you for this reminder to follow the spirit and take care of my needs. Love the focusing on the moment of now — anxiety about the future sometimes rules my brain, so thanks for the reminder. The Big U is always at work helping me out. Thanks for your video. This was so helpful! That jumped out at me. I encourage my clients to literally make a little to-do list and only plug away at one thing at a time.
If you give things in your life positive energies, positive things will happen to you. I really believe that. Start with the basics, only. Also just as important, feelings!!! Be in the moment! When my clients are down in the dumps and in a never-ending pitty party, I ask them if they have food in their fridge. I love that, Heidi! I have also found that interrupting with something completely unexpected helps during arguments, for instance. As others have said here, surrounding myself with people I love and who love me has been key.
When my dad passed away about 5 years ago, I was shattered… completely and totally. My mom was around for a few weeks afterward they had been divorced for over 30 years but always on good terms, but then she went back to her home in Italy I live in the U. Please come back and stay with me. But I asked anyway. But, unfortunately my mom was acting not according to what I hope for. Almost all the time, I keep blaming myself why did I act like that, why did I have to make that step, every second is so painful to me. I felt similar to Vanessa, and thought that life was giving me a series of strikeouts.
My favorite suggestion was just to go out with friends or and do something, no matter how tired or unmotivated i felt. I remember going through just about all of those steps when the most devastating thing happened to me — my perfectly healthy 7 week old daughter died. Yes, I was that mom walking around crying all the time without even realizing it.
Everyone was coming at me with advice about how the experience would build my character and that all things happen for a reason. I hated those people! I was a three weeks from starting grad school and my first teaching assignment, so threw myself into work and school. When I did reflect on the situation, I was happy that I was able to be a mom.
I realized that I did an OK job as a mom. That was super important because I thought all my life that I would be an awful mom. All of a sudden, a horrible situation started to give me joy.
Everyday I focused on what I had to do for that day. Everyday it got a bit easier to cope with the pain and let more joy in my mind.
Fast forward 19 years later wow — 19 years I still think about my daughter, and I feel so blessed she was part of my life. I have two wonderful children with me now, and everyday I thank God for them! Many people tell me I am the happiest person they know. I know I could be devastated, pissed off, and cruel. One more closing cliche that helps me with perspective: That is why it is called the present. I cannot imagine anything more devastating than the loss of a child.
Your story perfectly shows how strong we humans really are. Africa — thank you for sharing your incredible story! I completely agree that timing is everything. Hi Marie — thanks so much for this — I really needed to hear this today. I have worked on myself so so much but feel like I still have such a long way to go in terms of really living in my own skin and in my own life. Otoh, when I allow, things seem so magical and life seems so easy, but I still find that state hard to sustain all the time.
I keep telling myself to have faith , that this has happened for a reason, which even though I cannot see right now, will come when I am ready to receive it. My biggest hurdle to overcome is my own perfectionism and the pressure I put on myself to be better at all of life, all at once. But I am working at it the best I can, one day at a time, trying to lose the victim mode and shift into who I can really be minus all the stories that I have created in my mind about who I am. I understand what you mean when you say in one way you see how it could be so easy to move forward but its hard not to be pulled back into it all.
Congrats for doing keeping your sights on the highest for yourself- that can make a world of difference. I like stillness in nature.
I had been struggling with going to school for others and not myself, single parenthood, financial issues and family non-support…I now, know that I am in the wrong place in my life and need to just be for me, and not for others! I am a one year cancer thriver I am not just surviving cancer…I am kicking its ass.
BUT the kicker is I have also felt extreme moments of happiness, love, friendship and inspiration. I know cancer is the extreme, but it is a great example of how strong we humans really are. I love to write so I dusted off a beautiful story I had written years ago and pushed to finish it now I am working on book 2.
I love to see people smile so even on my worst of days I greet people with a smile they almost always smile back. But I do believe that you can choose to find an empowering lesson in everything you experience. As long I am learning, I am growing. As long as I am growing, I am actively living.
And actively living is pretty damn special to me! I can stop and take a little time out whenever I like. I just allow myself to have my little moment, and then get on with it. And yes, I am going through the experience of feeling completely shattered as we speak! Over the past year, I lost my best friend and tennis partner to pancreatic cancer while simultaneously going through a very painful ending to my marriage of 18 years.