When I Grow up: A Memoir

---

On the Road to Nirvana," and "Fool the World: An Oral History of the Pixies. Mar 26, Laurel Beth rated it really liked it Shelves: Feb 16, David rated it really liked it Shelves: Total System Failure albums. She was doing a string of in-stores for Newbury Comics and I happened to be working at one at the time. I wasn't a fan of her music until the album Bed was released.

I found the quirky-alterna-girl narratives of songs like "My Sister" and "Spin the Bottle" to be fun but lacking longevity. Listening to Bed changed that for me. With the release of Beautiful Creature two years later, I reassessed all my expectations and preconceived notions of Juliana Hatfield. I believe this is what the book hopes to accomplish; clarifying the difference between Juliana the 90's baby-sister, Juliana the independent musician, and Juliana the person. These are three different people that often come at odds.

I remember hearing rumors that she was difficult, or a snob, or whatever. Part of what Hatfield did in writing this book was she unveiled the shape of that "snobbery" as insecurity and social awkwardness.

When I Grow Up

Before she arrived for the in-store I believed what I heard and was anticipating a cold, rock-princess. I didn't want her to be, but I was bracing myself. I liked her music, I told my friends to come, I had been pushing the Beautiful Creature album to anyone who would listen and I didn't want to be let down. I must say I did read this book wondering if the interaction I remembered would be written down in a way she remembered. But it didn't have to be. Hatfield wrote of instances in meeting strangers; a clerk at a bookstore, fan's after shows, notes left behind.

Each was heavy in her very honest and often conflicted thought process, something one hopes for in a memoir. This book was wonderfully laid out, cutting between a tour-in-progress with reminisces about the past with the Blake Babies, her solo fame, and the drought after the Telecommunications Act of This is the kind of memoir I enjoy reading.

Honesty about creativity, social interaction, disappointment, and success. On a side note, I went to open the book and wanted to listen to music while I read. I decided to play Brian Eno: At first, I was shocked at the coincidence and then I shrugged it off, smiled, and appreciated that Hatfield once again has left me with a story vaulting the passive wall between musician and listener. Sep 26, Paige rated it it was ok Shelves: Juliana Hatfield has always been one of my favorite musicians, whom I've followed religiously for almost two decades she, along with Tori Amos and Liz Phair, made up the triad of my pre-teen obsession.

The latter two declined significantly in their personal appeal to me, while Juliana remained pretty much true and unwavering. Reading this book, I had the harsh realization that as much as Juliana may speak to me in song, we probably would not connect well as people. Hearing her speak in her mos Juliana Hatfield has always been one of my favorite musicians, whom I've followed religiously for almost two decades she, along with Tori Amos and Liz Phair, made up the triad of my pre-teen obsession.

Hearing her speak in her most honest voice about her day to day life, I find her tedious, whiny, defensive and socially awkward in a way that makes me uncomfortable. It sucks to see my long time idol in this light, especially when I still relish her music and don't want that to be tinged. While I'm not into the tour diary parts of the book, I do like the pieces of which delve into her past and when she first enjoyed some stardom in the early '90s. She writes about her photo shoot for Sassy magazine, the article where I first read about her.

Seeing this article was a memorable turning point in my life - as an adolescent, a budding musician, someone dreaming about the possibilities of me someday wearing a hip leather jacket and carrying an electric guitar on some gritty city streets. I still have the clip and recently referenced it when I was interviewed about the impact that magazine made on my life.

So Juliana as the musician - yes, always. Juliana as the person - beautiful, honest - but sadly not generally my cup of tea. Dec 12, Christine rated it it was ok. This is not a well-written book. There are a lot of details about Juliana's meals while on tour or mundane conversations that just don't add anything. Get this girl an editor! There are definitely a lot of interesting details as well, although names were changed or not mentioned whenever anything juicy came up, and that was frustrating.

The entire chapter on Paul W. Juliana is certainly honest about all her insecurities, and I can relate to her as a human being. Though she had major struggles with anorexia and depression, they were just briefly mentioned in the book. Reading over and over about JH's bad moods brought on by low blood sugar just became annoying. I also wish that Juliana would have named the vegan restaurant that she visited in Iowa City her blood sugar was low and she was very grumpy but then she discovered a great vegan place that made her want to live again.

It had to have been The Red Avocado, for anyone who might want to visit. I would still recommend reading this, but if you're anything like me, be prepared to be annoyed. View all 3 comments. Mar 23, Will White rated it really liked it. I listened to the Blake Babies in college and thought they were the one of the best alternative bands back then and still do.

I kept following Hatfield after she split to start a solo career. I was always enchanted with her lyrics and voice. The book further opened her personality and life to the reader. It also includes a narrative of life as a lead singer of an alternative band on the road, in the recording studio, magazine interviews, and more. I also appreciated the stories about her encount I listened to the Blake Babies in college and thought they were the one of the best alternative bands back then and still do. I also appreciated the stories about her encounters with other bands such as The Replacements.

I would recommend this book to anyone who watched MTV's minutes Alternative Music back in the early 90's. I am a huge fan of Juliana Hatfield and cannot thank my wife enough for going with me to see her perform recently. She still sounds great and can still rock better than the any of the kids these days. Feb 01, Timothy rated it liked it. Realistic view about life on the road, touring with a bandtravel, grumpiness, eating, cheap places to stay etc The background of her times in various places in her life, her family and musical lessons in life brought this book up by a star and a half. Nov 16, Courtney Smith rated it liked it Shelves: If you have kids and they think they want to be in a band or be a pop singer but you think it's a terrible idea, get them this book.

Aug 22, Clifford rated it it was amazing. I love Juliana Hatfield. So proud of her for putting down her feelings and her stories to paper. I interview a number of bands and that is a question I always ask, what is it really like on the road, sometimes traveling hundreds of miles to play a gig, sometimes in front of a handful of people? She is honest and forthright and the last couple Great read.

She is honest and forthright and the last couple of chapters reflect the growth of a truly mature and inspiring artist. I hope we have not heard the last from her. Aug 15, Richard O'Hagan rated it liked it. A little bit out of date and the self-pitying tone grates at times, but still an interesting insight into life on the road when your music career hasn't really reached the heights you had hoped for.

May 05, D. I'm an obsessive Juliana Hatfield fan. When I was a kid, of course I--the super-cool grunge and metal dude I thought I was--made fun of "My Sister," and then she kinda disappeared, and I forgot about her. In , a friend recommended 's Beautiful Creature , which is one of those rare albums that completely blew me away on the first listen. I've been a fan ever since. I'm noting this because I'll be the first to admire my appreciation for her, and the impact her music has had o I'll admit it: I'm noting this because I'll be the first to admire my appreciation for her, and the impact her music has had on me, might color the review, though I'm trying to be objective.

I think the major strength of the book is its structure. Chapters alternate between semi-chronological anecdotes from her early life and "rise and fall," and a detailed account of her tour with Some Girls. I'll admit it gets a little muddled toward the end, as the chronology passes the minutiae and pushes ahead in time to the recording of 's How to Walk Away.

However, I liked the structure because it goes from bird's-eye view of a young musician rising to prominence, to a fly-on-the-wall perspective of the grind involved in an independent musician's low-budget tour. For those who don't know her story, that generates some suspense; for those who do, at least for me, it generates a tinge of sadness. Another strength is Juliana's unvarnished approach to her story. There's a story about her essentially self-destructing in Iowa City, because all she'd had to eat was a Clif bar, but there aren't vegan restaurants on every corner.

A friend once quoted me as saying, "Hunger can be an incendiary device," which is a random blurting I think most can relate to. Juliana completely melts down, her frustration about the tour and her life boiling over. She doesn't try to make herself look like the good guy, which only makes her more empathetic. In terms of writing, which isn't always a major strength of memoirists, I was impressed with everything but the dialogue, which was often wooden when filling in large time gaps.

She has a clear, direct writing style, with occasional poetic embellishments and clever turns of phrase. I was actually impressed enough that I asked her a potentially offensive question: I'd also recommend it for musicians interested in accounts of both the perils of major-label success and the pitfalls of touring as an independent artist. Jun 18, frazzledsoul rated it liked it Shelves: I've been a fan of Juliana Hatfield for 16 years. In fact, I think discovering her music when I was 14 really shaped my identity in a lot of ways.

It was at that point that I discovered that I didn't have to struggle to fit in and be the perfect Southern belle that my family and friends wanted me to be: Her music opened me up to the fact that there were other people like me out there and that one could actually derive meaning I've been a fan of Juliana Hatfield for 16 years. Her music opened me up to the fact that there were other people like me out there and that one could actually derive meaning and connection from what we heard out of the speakers.

Account Options

It opened me up to a lot of different artists and books and movies and I started looking for thing that I saw myself in from that point on. It took me a while to get around to reading it. If one reads Hatfield's website or her Twitter, they know how raw and open her commentary often is and it put me off a little. However, I picked up the book this past spring and saw so much in it that matched my love for her in the first place. The book isn't for everyone. Hatfield is painfully honest about her social awkwardness and shyness and general weariness of going through the motions of being a struggling musician.

The tour sections of the diary could have been trimmed down a lot. However, it's these sections that really made me identify with her, because I too am still shy and awkward and don't know how to be around people and I still have a hard time understanding how "normal" people act and the routines and situation that are so foreign to me.

I do think that this kind of thing will definitely not speak to everyone, but as far as I'm concerned it did have its place within the narrative. The stuff about being a minor player in the 90s and her general misadventures in the music business since then will be of more general interest to anyone who followed the alternative rock scene. I have to say that despite Ms. Hatfield's declining fortunes, her music after she left the major-label scene is much more mature and nuanced than it was when she was at the height of her fame.

I find that interesting because many of the artists that I enjoyed at that time period who I still follow PJ Harvey, Liz Phair, Tori Amos, etc have largely declined in quality, but Hatfield hasn't. The book is three years old, but for anyone who's curious, Hatfield is still putting out albums and doing the occasional show these days with Evan Dando.

I encourage anybody reading this to pick up the book if they're intersted and check out her work at julianahatfield. Oct 07, Bill rated it liked it Shelves: Self-esteem has never been my thing, and a girl I was dating during a particularly annoying both to myself and others downswing said something memorable to me: It's a little hard to take, given that she's been my absolute favorite m Self-esteem has never been my thing, and a girl I was dating during a particularly annoying both to myself and others downswing said something memorable to me: It's a little hard to take, given that she's been my absolute favorite musician I first saw her in concert back in , and that I've harbored a crush on her for all that time as well.

And while it's easy to tell from just a cursory listen to the lyrics of any given album that she's a big ol' saddo, this look into her life and psyche makes it pretty clear that even on her best days, she's probably more than a little miserable. Don't get me wrong, the book certainly has its interesting moments, since you're really getting 2 books in 1 here. Half of this is a look into the life of a journeyman, "kinda famous for a minute about 15 years ago" musician on tour.

And while she may get a little too bogged down in the details sometimes at some points recounting individual food choices , it's a unique chance to look into a life completely foreign to me. The other half of the book has the more traditional biography elements, and this is a real mixed bag.

We get a lot of information about what it was like to be a female rock musician at a point in time when "girls with guitars" were The Big Thing, discussions of her influences, family life, and a surprisingly in-depth chapter on how the Telecommunications Act of changed the face of music forever, and that's all fine reading.

But there are some surprising gaps, too And that's the most glaring example, but there's lots of other little seemingly important pieces missing I'm sure she had her reasons, but these are oddly glaring omissions to say the least.

In short, a decent read at times, a dull slog at others. I think the lesson here is "it's often better not to know what's going on the heads of the people you admire most. Three stars, but barely. Apr 23, Eric rated it it was ok. A summer tour serves as the backdrop for Juliana Hatfield's memoir. Interspersed with chapters about the tour are recollections from her earlier life, chronicling her troubled family, her early success, and her later professional and personal decline.

The chapters that chronicle the tour suffer from a lack of dramatic interest. It's no secret that life on tour is hardly a non-stop party for rockers past their prime. They play in crappy venues, to indifferent crowds, and make little money. Ju A summer tour serves as the backdrop for Juliana Hatfield's memoir.

Juliana doesn't have a whole lot to add to the story. Since she stays away from drugs, parties, and people in general, there's a lot of description of unpleasant hotel rooms and even more unpleasant dressing rooms. She obsesses about food. She picks petty fights with her crew. And who knows what she thinks of her bandmates, who hardly appear in the story.

More compelling than the tour diary is the story of Juliana's professional and mental health struggles. It's no secret to her fans that she's suffered from depression and anorexia over the years. Juliana still seems far too close to her past difficulties to write with the detachment and perspective that would convey to the reader some deeper appreciation for what she has been through. I think she needs another five or ten years under her belt before she'll be able to write a really moving, emotionally wrenching, memoir.

Late in the book Juliana describes how, as her fan base dwindled over the years, her followers consisted disproportionally of "lonely outsiders, people whose social skills were more hopeless than even mine; one whose imaginary lives were probably more vivid than the lives they were actually living. I'm not sure how honest the book really is though.

Nov 25, Justin rated it really liked it.

I developed a major crush on Juliana Hatfield in the early 90's when I first heard her single My Sister, and unlike a lot of the 90's era alterna-rockers I phased through back then, I enjoyed her music more with each new album. When I heard she had written a memoir, I knew I had to check it out.

When I Grow Up is equal parts memoir and tour diary, with chapters form Hatfield's past trading off with chapters chronicling the surprisingly unglamorous life of a touring rock band. Her rise to semi st I developed a major crush on Juliana Hatfield in the early 90's when I first heard her single My Sister, and unlike a lot of the 90's era alterna-rockers I phased through back then, I enjoyed her music more with each new album.

Her rise to semi stardom in the 90's alternative rock boom and subsequent fall from mainstream glory is documented, as are several seemingly unrelated observations that shed some light on what drives Juliana Hatfield as an artist and a person. Anyone who seriously follows her music and I suspect you wouldn't be checking out this book if you didn't understands that Juliana Hatfield is a very complex, and very creative person, but I was surprised at just how revealing this book is. The profoundly insecure, often depressed person described in this book totally wrecked the fierce, fearless, sensual persona I imagined from albums like Bed and Beautiful Creature.

Perhaps the biggest surprise and given the strength off her lyrics I really shouldn't have been surprised at all of When I Grow Up is just how good a writer Hatfield is. At various points throughout the book I found myself wishing she had other books available. She lays everything on the table here for all to see, and while it isn't always pretty, it lets her fans get to know her a lot better. Sep 26, Celeste rated it it was ok Shelves: I kept waiting for this book to get good - it didn't. After awhile, it become somewhat of a chore to pick up and read, and it was bothersome how the chapters alternated between Juliana's tour with Some Girls, and pieces of her life.

The tour was not terribly interesting to me, although maybe I've read too many rock bios. However, parts about her dealings with the music industry were interesting and I really enjoyed reading about the formation of the Blake Babies. I loved when they all first sit I kept waiting for this book to get good - it didn't. I loved when they all first sit down and jam together - "hey, how about 'Femme Fatale'"?

See a Problem?

Still, I wished she had written more about her personal life. And been a little more personal. She shared what she chose to share it was a memoir , but often left us wondering what the hell really happened, which was frustrating. An entire chapter was devoted to the events that led up to her cancelling her European tour in the mid-nineties from severe depression, but yet we do not hear anything of her subsequent treatment.

When I Grow Up is more than a musician's memoir; it is a rich and revealing tour through an extraordinary mind. Sometimes hilarious, sometimes somber, and always insightful, it is rewarding reading not only for her fans, but for anyone who enjoys a truthful, beautifully written, real-life story of success, struggle, and rebirth. A Memoir by Juliana Hatfield.

When I Grow Up by Juliana Hatfield

Now, I have to own up and say that I had I've followed Hatfield from Blake Babies' Earwig til now. I'm not sure if someone unfamiliar with her work could get into this. However, if you were present when "alternative" hit big By the early nineties, singer-songwriter and former Blake Babies member Juliana Hatfield was in When I Grow Up: Guns N Roses and Me. When I Grow up: Her vocals have been praised as "bewitching" by the New York Times. Her latest album, How to Walk Away, was released in August

• Slopjar
• The Way of the Assassin: profiling the target to generate sales
• Love -- The You, The Me, The Us
• Tribology in Machine Design
• My Friends Call Me Moon
• Sensual
• GUITARlab - Idee contemporanee per chitarristi blues