It Wasnt Me (A dark tale of teenage isolation)

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The rest, though, are questionable stereotypes, extrapolated into facts. First, the epidemic, widely reported in the media over recent months. But a closer look at the studies immediately reveals inconsistencies. The Jo Cox commission applies across all age groups, and its findings are still a long way off. More confusing still are findings by the Mental Health Foundation — it identifies to year-olds, not teenagers, as the age group most likely to struggle with loneliness. But is loneliness the root cause?

I Feel Lonely: What To Do When You're Feeling Alone

The problem begins with a mismatch between adult perception and teenage reality. Not having a job can be quite a lonely experience. By far the most common explanation offered in public by politicians and some sectors of the media for teenage problems is the dominance of social media, and its dark twin, online pornography. Why then, do so many teenagers disagree with this analysis? Lots of teenage girls now are very involved in feminism, and teenagers in general are really politicised — especially when Isis was formed, then with Brexit and with Trump.

The Scottish referendum got a lot of interest because of the discussion of lowering the voting age to Her insights contrast starkly with the received wisdom. It has to go beyond: The wearing-black thing is definitely not true. We want to be able to talk to our parents. We really rely on their guidance. She says this generation is more serious about life than millennials, generation Y, generation X or baby boomers were at the same age. When one feels lonely, the brain tends to go into self-preservation mode. And teens would have good reason to fear that the danger is real, in view of the physical or psychological symptoms it can set into motion.

In the elderly, loneliness can negatively impact both brain and body; increasing vascular resistance — the risk of higher blood pressure and stroke. The sleep is simply less restful and less restorative. Better to think of it as a transition point. Natasha Devon MBE is an author and campaigner, and the co-founder of selfesteemteam. At the time, Jeremy Hunt was health secretary. She has noted that cuts in sports, art and drama classes have removed many social opportunities for children — and her extensive work in schools has led to some very interesting revelations.

She also describes a strange shift in rebellious hero-worship, at least among boys. They are following Breitbart on Twitter and defending those alt-right and sexist views in class. Kieran Lacey, now 21 , experienced his first depressive episode at Not long after that, he tried to take his own life.

I was greatly humiliated at school. It was unfair for me. It felt like I had no freedom. Now that me and my 2 bros moved to where our parents are, I got closer to my brothers. My physical appearance change drastically… I gained 50 pounds, and gained pimples because of puberty. I have friends that are girls too, and I share some of my personal stuff to them.

I still feel lonely and depressed. Whenever my brothers or father invite a guy to our house, I feel isolated. When my brother goes out to drink with guys friends, he would invite my other brother, but of course since I was a girl, and the youngest… I was never invited. I started cutting myself out of boredom. It helps me suppress my urge to want something, and cry because of some food I want to eat that I will never get for example. I talk to myself, laugh by myself, I let out my emotions silently that nobody will ever notice.

Then, as it continued, I hear my self thinking about bad stuff. Thinking about doing something bad to my good friends, and to strangers or characters I just made up in my mind. When my oldest brother saw the cuts, he looked at me like I was some fuckin devil. I tried my best to hide it, and when I saw how he looked at me. I was deeply sad and depressed. I always ask God… especially, when we had bible study, I was still the only girl at first.. I want to cut myself right now, but there are visitors… so maybe later.

We read your comment and know it takes courage to reach out when you are in distress. Often when we feel isolated, we turn against ourselves and find it difficult to reach out for help. However, we want you to know that help is available and there is hope. PsychAlive is not a counseling site, but we can offer resources where you can get assistance 24 hours per day. If you are in the U. It is especially important to reach out when you are feeling isolated and have the desire to harm yourself.

We hope that you remain safe and continue to reach out. Please do not do anything to hurt yourself. If you feel your Critical Inner Voice has taken you over, you may benefit from seeking professional help. You can find a therapist at http: Hi Aaron, what do you meaning your critical inner voice has taken over and WON?? This helped a lot. It is amazing to see how many people face this loneliness syndrome. I for example have felt very lonely for years despite having a family and kids.

But I never wanted them to solve my problems. I am separated now living in another state and when I go out, I look good, exercise, eat right, have a job, am 50 now and it seems like I am out of touch with everyone else. I find it hard to meet people that have things in common with me now. Reaching to younger people and especially the opposite sex is a big waste of time and effort because I think they now see me as old even though I have no grey hair or look older than my age. In fact I look younger and energetic.

I see everyone with friends, girlfriends, wives, all hanging out and I am the only person out there with nobody to hang out with despite several meetup tries. I thought that God just made me different than everybody else and not meant to have friends or company after work or on weekends. I spend a lot of time alone and live alone. Part of me thinks that maybe evil surrounds us to make us feel terrible and that we have to break this thinking pattern and start believing that God can work miracles in our lives and changes these feelings of self-destruction.

I am going to work out more and build my body stronger and work on my mind so it is stronger. Joining a church might help too. I think that all evil feelings must come from evil and all good feelings must come from God. So why waste my life away feeling sorry for myself? Worst comes to worst, I will just become my own very best friend. Some very old people seem to have a handle on this and feel happy even at their old age so why should I be in self-pity mode all the time? Today I will change for the better and never look back.

Best of luck to all of us lonely people who feel weird among other people. We are not alone. Good for you and I wish you the best going forward. We can ever completely escape the negative or isolated thoughts that occasionally rush up on us that we are lonely. Last summer I had two butterflies who apparently had taken up residence in my backyard somewhere. I would see them almost daily running around the couple of hundred square feet. Best of luck to you.

Please check in and share how you are doing. I know I am allowing little things and annoying people get to me, but maybe it is a good thing. I have such pent-up emotion, I need to release it before I explode. So I am trying to look at it as positive. On the other hand, I may only be fooling myself.

I sure hope not! This article is utter crap. The natural bonding is just not there. Did the author stop to consider the poor advice contained in this article? The words may work for people who like to pretend they are lonely, but you have NEVER experienced real loneliness unless you have solipsism. This article should come with a warning. Are you an expert or a Doctor? Stupid comments like that are the reason why these problems go unresolved. How dare you judge anyone elses feelings.. Learn to have an open mind and heart and know that no one is right or wrong in there experiences.

Andy, I think you are a tad harsh. I know a little bit about Asperger but not enough to totally understand the isolation you must be feeling. There is loneliness that is the result of being isolated from other, and there is loneliness which is the result of being separate from the self. This second state is irreparable and cannot be undone by social contact. I posit that this second state is far worse than the former. I am so glad to see this topic of discussion I have a critical inner voice not often representative of what is happening in reality, though sometimes these thoughts happen when a situation happens where it triggers me to question my self worth.

First off I really want a girlfriend and too get laid more often. I also am Catholic and go to church am involved at my church but the parishioners are older and I have not met anyone. I have had sex in midlife and had a girlfriend a few yrs ago. I used to be painfully shy with women and im trying to overcome that by making eye contact and at places like the gym or coffee hour after mass making conversation, but I do get nervous when an attractive woman is around me as negative thought after negative thought fires up, that she thinks im ugly, desperate, gay , a rapist, stalker and from an outsiders view this would seem ridiculous and unreasonable.

But inside my own head I start to get anxiety and these thoughts go. I also have a lot of jealousy issues. Even though I know I could not commit such a horrible sin as my Faith guides me not too and I would not put that sadness on my parents who love me and friends and people at church. I am looking for a younger congregation. I pray that my life gets better but as of late I have felt like my life has become relentless, fulfilling, boring and when I nightingale steps to change it does not work, I feel like all my friends are happier then I am, my cousins are all married and happy and ill never have that and feel like my family dissent take me seriously.

I know my parents love me and they know about the depression , but I hide it as much as I can, I am seeing a therapist but I only see him once a month. I am so glad to see I am not alone in having these unwanted feelings. I have many issues like all of you in particular the whole being single thing bothers me, gives me anxiety and horrible thoughts.

I am 26 years old and currently live at home with my parents and I am single. I am tall, brown haired, clean shaven and in fairly good shape , and I am a vegetarian. Some people have told me I should try out for modeling. Being single bothers me and I really want a girlfriend and I want to get laid more. I often feel lonely when I see happy couples who look happy, or happy couples making out and the voices start going off in my head about how i am considered fat, unattractive and how ill be single and alone my whole life.

I have had sex in the past and had a girlfriend, but I am shy and the weird thing is people on the outside would consider me an extrovert and yet on the inside I feel the opposite. I am Catholic and go to church and put faith in GOD and pray my life gets better. I am still living with my parents and ashamed of it. I often have thoughts that I will live with my parents my whole life and that nothing will never change. People except my parents see my smile outside and see this upbeat and confident guy, but I feel insecure and worthless on the inside often. I feel jealous of less attractive men who get laid every night.

I get very jealous of others too, even just random happy people I see, groups of friends, couples, you name it. I am attractive, but feel undesirable still. This is really quite the rut to be in. I run and go to the gym and I feel better doing those activities. That is a good way to work off depression. Very isolated and anti-social. None of you are alone. Its all surface crap and meaningless dialogue.

Back in time when earths population was numbered in the millions there was a great deal of isolation. Without being to wordy I will add some things I find helps. Books, literature is quite awesome and a way to stay connected, nothing like a good book to engross you in human thought. Nature is spectacular, please spend more time in it. The search for self is also a wonderful thing.

It never gets old, the questions, why am I here, who am I, what is important in what I think? Of course number one is I have found Jesus Christ to be about the best friend a person can have. Let me say this quickly…that empty house, not so empty anymore, that empty lonely life, not so empty anymore once one has a relationship with God.

I was in the grocery check out line on Friday, the lady looked tired, about my age, when she handed me the receipt I looked deep into her eyes and said thank you [Connie], have a great weekend. Her whole face lit up…. I think I made her day. Who says being isolated and lonely prevents us from affecting others positively. Ya know that interaction made my day too. Seek that and you will find it. Revel in your independence, there is a whole world out there waiting to be explored if only through reading and visual arts, media and entertainment. Being the best you can be alone can matter.

Consider how strong you are for facing that challenge everyday. Jesus said I am with you, I will never leave you or forsake you. I have found this to be true. What an ear he has to lend…I talk to him often and I know he listens. Shame really but what can you do? You can be happy…with you, that we can control. I like the basis of your comment.

I have no religion, so I will keep my views to my self in that regard. I do think that our society has become more inward and selfish. But have you ever went anywhere in public and for no reason at all, to give a smile to someone. Being a gentleman in public, and giving a smile more often rewards me with a smile in return. The former, loneliness by separation, just makes plain common sense. We are wired at a very primitive level to not be alone too long, probably for survival reasons.

The other seems puzzling but probably not when you consider how much artificiality goes into most social convention. When we have both of these when alone it is called solitude, when amongst others it is called community. I have a fairly comfortable life, but I question this as well so try to find ways to live humbly.

I volunteer, and I would tell anyone volunteering is very rewarding but it is not an answer. Though as has been said here, having money, good looks, or even lots of relationships is no barrier to feeling lonely.

Perhaps, as Joe says, the feeling of being unworthy is a message we get from society. I will still be searching for some time…. I used to do this, with that intention. And then, started wallowing in my own after such isolation. Helping others, did indeed make the day completed. I want a friend like you, Joe. I have copied your post and will re-read it from time to time.

The world is a very lonely place. I am finding it to be more lonely as I get older. I have one grown child and she is my only family. I am single and will most likely have to work well into my golden years, God willing. But I crave to live and not merely exist. Now I feel I am simply existing. This, to me, is tragic. I can live in my back yard looking at the stars, or sitting on my sofa reading a novel.

I can definatly relate to loneliness. I have always found it really hard to get close to people and maintain relationships. I am at a point in my life where I would really like to have more friends but it exhausts me just thinking about it. I have a hard time relaxing around people and I think people can take me the wrong way.

I seem to have a lot of social anxiety and feel insecure around certain people.. I have battled with drinking and anger because of it….. I find myself lonely and isolated quite frequently. But it seems the author implies that all of us have multiple personalities: I believe that I am unlikable to most people, and I feel much better when I am alone, and not under the watchful eye of critical people.

I just got back from a vacation of being by myself. I was very lonely, but I loved it! Did I really want to be alone? I am not happy with my life, in fact I hate it! But I am not suicidal, I just look for ways to deal with it. I enjoy helping other people, I enjoy making other people smile. But too often, when I try to help others or make them happy, I achieve the opposite of what I am trying to accomplish.

This only makes me want to isolate myself even more! I got back from an 8-years long work contract in a foreign country about 6 months ago. Even though I went to 4 birthday parties since I came back, nobody remembered mine. These sites are very informative and helpful. But, like many if you, there are times when there are only feelings of emptiness, loneliness , and depression. I HATE having those feelings! Ten years ago, I watched as my year-old daughter was pronounced dead by the ER physician. She had developed a blood clot in her leg that escaped many doctors.

My life changed forever that night! I was diagnosed with having clinical depression at around age 30 however; I am certain I struggled with it as a teenager. I have been through the ugliness of depression…extreme sadness, feeling like no one likes me or understands me, the negative self-talk, the thoughts of wanting to die! When I recognized that it was depression that I struggled with and I thank Oprah for having that show on depression that I happened to have seen …well, it was like an epiphany, and the next day I called and made an appointment to see a doctor.

I started therapy and medication which, I am certain, saved my life!! It is SO important to reach out to people…even going to places like this site. Reach out…and for those who may not struggle with depression, look around you…there are people all around hurting every day.

The professionals are so right in saying to do whatever you can to connect with someone…it will help you feel understood, accepted, and positive. All of you suffering with depression, addictions, etc. God Bless you all. I will make myself available to anyone as well. Thank you so inspirational, I am 54 3 wonderful kids and 3 amazing grandsons.

This Is What Social Isolation Looks Like

Been on my own now for years, everyone seems to get on with me. I get told I am so attractive. Yet I feel so lonely and ugly. I have tried dating sites but I never have the courage to speak to anyone. My friends all say the lovely thing about me is that men drooled over me when I was out anywhere. Yet I never seen that I was always so timid and never felt good enough. I would love to meet someone who would see me for me.

The relationships I have had, the men seems to treat me like a idiot. I would do anything for them yet they always treat me bad one way or another. I am a very caring person I work as a carer helping other people. Never stop and think what I would like to do, as I never have so have no idea what I would like to do now. I can understand what everyone on here feels like. It would be great if we could all find solutions to this feeling and start to feel happy like most people.

I, too, feel something may be wrong with me because suddenly at age 61 I have become more hermit-like, though I am deeply in love my boyfriend of two years. I think Joe below is right when he says its harder than ever to connect with people, to even like them anymore! I understand the reasons, thank God but the end result is after 61 years I am out of steam and find myself avoiding most people because their energy is mostly negative or self-absorbed or clueless. Also, I have always been very sensitive, but gregarious usually, popular even mostly.

No need to worry much about her. So that sort of neglect, despite ministering to THEM for years and years left me a little bitter I must say. I prefer my nephews to my Boomer brothers! So I now talk to them on FB, not my immediate family much. OK to want to keep your own company or just that of a boyfriend, say. I plan to bring it up with my therapist soon, but I just wanted to give my thoughts here in the hope they help others in some way.

Good luck to everyone and God bless. Hi Ellen, you sound exactly like me. Great luck to you. Please be happy, you are worth it. This is a tough world to be sensitive in. PS In order to grow spiritually, many years ago now I sought detachment as much as possible.

I also worked hard and still do, to reduce my ego, not feed it. Maybe those two spiritual practices, though beneficial in many great ways, well maybe I took it too far. But all I know is I am more superficial with people now keep my interactions mostly superficial with most and prefer it that way.

Nearly everyone on this planet now seems to think they only live for the moment, for money, for their families and friends and petty politics or interest group and everything else be damned- God, the world, the environment, your neighbor. It is a bleak time to be in the body, I will say that, but it will get better. We are on the cusp of a spiritual rebirth believe it or not. Also I think this method worked wonders for me. I feel like no one likes me.. Cj I hear you, and know your loneliness, you must be patient and wait, find hobby, distract your thoughts, start to think positive about yourself, tell yourself f… all i am going to enjoy life and I deserve happiness.

What have I said wrong? Where are my mistakes? How to correct them? I reached out, but it seems that all of my friendships fell out.. The only time i leave my small apartment is to go to dr appointments and too church. I have no friends and my children are grown and have their own lives they really dont spend any time with me anymore. The only time I show signs of life and happiness is when i am with my granddaughters. It was important to me for them to have God in their lives for the simple fact my daughter struggles with the exsistance of God and faith.

Her and her boyfriend came along with me at church a few times. Since I am mainly the only one that takes them my fingerprints were the only one they had my daughter works alot and is hardly ever off on sundays. Well she attended with me and my oldest granddaughter recently and had a attitude cause she wasnt able to sign the girls into class so she had her prints done and took over what i took very proudly away rom me.

Little by little everything is slipping away from me. Most of all the only thing that gave me happiness and peace. Im even told i am not even a good grandmother cause i spoil and show my granddaughters attention. I am considering moving several miles away alone away from everything and everyone that hurts me.

Even if it hurts my oldest granddaughter that i raised for the first year and a half of her life. Cause obviously i am ruining her life as well. Talk bout being lonely and alone i have been for quit sometime. I cant stand to be away from my apaprtment for too long i dont feel safe and i feel out of place everywhere elses.

Is there anyone whom you can talk to at church who could counsel you? Or could you talk to a Christian therapist? Maybe a counselor at church or a Christian therapist could help you find a support group of people going through something similar to what you are experiencing. A counselor also might be able to help you learn skills on how to make and keep friends as well, if you feel that you struggle in that area. I will keep you in my prayers. This is one of the most relatable articles I have found on this topic. I live a vicious cycle of procrastination, very low self confidence, anxiety, depression, and who knows what else.

I know I have potential. I started college with a full scholarship but for some reason I ruined it for myself. I watch myself skipping class, putting off assignments, sleeping until 2 or 3 pm. My appearance, my personality——I feel weird and awkward, even though I know there are people who like me and enjoy my company. All of this is random and hard to follow, but it felt nice to rant. I feel alone everyday scared to talk to ppl cus idk how there going to act wishing i had a gf but to scared to find one because im affraid of getting hurt or used i wish there was a dark hole somewhere i could just go there and stay alone.

I feel so alone. Back about 4 or 5 years ago I was a happy person, who would engage in some hard anxiety problems in the night. It would only happen some very few times. Now it happens everytime. I isolate and end up more depressed than I was before. This kind of doubts lead me to self judgement every single second of my life. Sometimes I try so hard not to tell anyone how I feel, even though I really wanted to. I feel like I had no friends, and really had to share this in some random place, and see if it gets me going.

I read somewhere that what we experience as adults mirrors what we experienced with our parents. If you were abused, you maybe a target for bullies or mean people. If you were neglected, you may experience being ignored or excluded. These experiences make you want to retreat and stay away from people. But I do know that you beautiful, sensitive people deserve to exist and deserve a good life that you enjoy. Take good care of yourself first and other things may come out of that.

Hi i have been reading all the comments on this site. I cant believe i have so much in common with most peoples posts. I am 49 years old, live in a small village in South Wales, i recently moved here to be closer to my partner, and to try and find work. Due to claiming benefits it was the only private landlord i could find to take me on. Well sinse i have been here 6 mths, i have become very isolated and lonely and getting more and more depressed. I dont go out much as i dont know any one, i only leave the house when my other half comes to see me he is full time carer for his mum and dad, so dont see him alot I have tried everything to find a job, no luck, i dont drive so have to rely on public transport.

I have also tried to do voluntary work but they dont need me often enough to be out the house. Both my children have now left home for some years my son is at uni, and my daughter live abroard. I am currently looking to move and try and change my situation but as still on benefits no one wants to take me in a new flat or house, due to all this bedroom tax and benefits cap. Its not for the want of trying to get out its just not working, and lack of money doesnt help. I have no friends or family close by, and as said partner can only come when he is free. All of these stories are so touching and helps me know that im not alone.

I have always felt secluded, socially awkward and the list goes on childhood through adult years. I feel like theres no hope. Im 28 years old woman and just now getting my first apartment from living with family. My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me. Part of it has to do with very low self confidence.

Im so hurt that he left me and feel that no one will take me serious. I really need to get out and interact more. All i want is more friends, but i know that will never happen, im just a boy who was out grown by society, left in a room for 14 years, i broke free but seclusion is all i known, my mother died and my fathers a, lets just say a bad man, but when i did break free, no one likes me for who i am, so i stay forever in seclusion, i have a fake personality to look like im normal but, im not.

The only person who really cares about me is my mother, who I am infinitely grateful for, as she is the only one I can talk to, but I am tired of burdening her with all my problems. I have a sibling who has more serious psychological problems than I do, so my mother already has too much on her plate. I am naturally a loner, but I really wish that I had someone to talk to.

Teenagers think Google is cool, study by Google finds

Writing this post was really scary. If anyone is out there, could you please give me some advice? Ever since I was a young girl I was very shy. I am now 53 years old and feel more alone than ever. That self help stuff is all well and good, but what would really help would be if someone would just care that I am hurting. I feel very sad and depressed whenever i have my family around me…..

I am an only child.. I am married to a wonderful man,,but do not have children. I was epileptic all my life,and married late.. My Mom has had dementia now for 7 years and my Dad lives with us.. My parents moved in a year after our marriage,my husband thought it proper where i was their only child we should be there for them.. We all got along great.. Mom is now in a nursing home,and my Dad visits everyday. I cannot work,due to my back,i no longer have the seizures…. But all i see is a grim future.. No more new memories. I never minded being an only child,as i always had many friends and cousins..

Many of these have moved away and some have lives with their grandchildren and children.. I am depressed all the time.. I am worried about money as i can no longer work,and am working on a getting disability.. I worked all my life with up to 2O seizures a month and even got promoted.. I refused a pension twice,,and not sorry I did..

I wanted to lead a close to normal life.. I fought all my life to be strong.. I sometimes say what will there be to live for…I feel alone, lonely,depressed scared…People say.. Who do i turn to when i have no direct family left. Do they know that you feel this way? If not, I think it would be a good idea to tell them. So I told her how I felt and she started spending more time with me. I think it would be a good idea for you to tell your parents as well.

People say go out and have a drink somewhere, talk to people. My mother died 26 years ago when I was I hate feeling like this. I even tried the online dating thing, but no one piqued my interest. I just want to feel better. My girlfriend recently moved abroad for summer vacations and there she would get engaged to her cousin. The parents want some legal marriage documentation sort of thing done there in Australia so that she gets her visa soon once she comes back to Pakistan.

She has left for almost 40 days and it is probably her 2nd day there today. The girl even told her mom about us, liking each other. She knows me as i have been visiting her place for exam studies etc. All of a sudden her mom changed her mind and decided to get her Nikkah done a muslim custom performed right before marriage. My mom is aware of my situation and she often tries to calm me down and cries too when she watches me depressed.

We really like each other and we are in the fourth year of bachelors degree and having been in a relationship.

We were best friends and we are too. But the thought of her living with that family and interacting with the guy is killing me. I have been pretty upset. Please help me someone. But i fail to get why her mom is not listening even though she knows her daughter is not happy and cries day in and day out. Whenever i discuss with my gf she ends up crying cuz honestly speaking she did try a lot. But we are still trying and praying. But there seems no way out of this depression.

She tries to explain that i can not tell the guy and his family that i like someone else but i can stay quite if they ask me if i am happy. She says she loves me more than anything and she would keep on loving me and we will remain best friends and talk forever and be there for each other, i trust her and know shes saying the truth. But once she gets married, she would be busy with her life and house affairs, how would she have time for me.

It would be unethical to ask her for a similar relationship because now she would be someones wife. It would be unethical on both of us. But the thought of her living with another guy and making a family would kill me. She says the guy is afraid of having kids with her and says she would avoid physical contact as long as she can. But i know one day or the other the guy would be pressurized from his family to go for a baby, or he might even want to do it out of his own will, even if it is not for a baby.

My life and hopes would be over. Hi, I m 22 yr old guy. I hava no friends since childhood. This is either my shynesss or dullness. But I never like such things, I just tried involve myself. I have quoted such matters on many sites but reply never came. So, plz help me. Hi, It most of my life Ive been overweight and even my own mother made fun of me for it. Ive worked hard at a job for 25 years and they went bankrupt.

I have 2 kids that are grown now and they do their own thing on the holidays. Mom and I never got along, even when I was a child. Ironically she was dying in a nursing home and begged me to take her home to die. My brother lives in a half million dollar home in Tn. I was told she had 6 months maximum to live and got an apartment, am paying for part of all her medical, oxygen, hospital, ambulance etc… expenses while on ssd myself. I have no life anyway, and when I do go out people look at me like Im an alien.

No friends, no men will even look my way, im in pain all the time and taking care of a woman that I felt hated me even as a child. Went to therapy and when I talked about It they put me on medication and I had a nervous breakdown. I wish I had a friend to talk to. I am a good mother, grandmother and the best friend anyone could ever want. I was even an excellent wife. What have I done to deserve this. Am I the only one feeling like this?

I too feel lonely. My son is heading off to college today and he is my world. My family is 4 hrs south of here but not really too involved in my life. I know they love me though. Dear Wendy It is so hard. I have gone through the same thing. Being single when your kid leaves the nest is just torture nothing can prepare you for it. I am trying to keep busy but living by yourself especially when all my friends are married is so difficult.

What Does Social Isolation Look Like?

I hope things will get better. My mom works 12 hours a day and I have to iron all the clothes and clean the house and cook food. My mom had a baby about a year ago so I have three brothers now. I hope that this is worth it one day. Im just gonna have faith in God. I have no great thing to offer, but I do hope as time goes on that your life improves in all the ways you want. Hi Emma, I understand what you are going through. I know it is hard and life is unfair. Just hang in there. Better days will come. You should feel so proud that you are helping take care of your family and are a capable person that your mom can rely on.

You have to take care of yourself, too. If you overcome these challenges, you will be well prepared for the future. A lot of teens who grow up with easy lives have no problem getting good grades, etc. But then in the real world, when things get hard, they fall apart and fail. You will not be like that. You will have a tremendous capacity to take care of yourself and others. While you are cooking and doing chores, maybe you can use that time to help yourself also.

Or even inspirational or funny videos. It may seem pointless if you only have a few minutes at a time, but it does add up, and everything you learn makes you a more interesting person. Some people who like themselves just fine have an aversion to social situations. This is the first time I have actually confronted my lonlyness in any shape or form. My only defense has been denial. Get married have children,enjoy life.

While my stagnation became more evident and quite frankly more embarrassing. It has created in me a profound sadness. This in turn effected my self confidence years ago. Not being confident is something women can literally sense. So with this comes a circle that is self perpetuating and spirals gently downwards. So I guess I,ve isolated myself for the last ten years. The sadness of my life has now taken its toll and I,m finding it very hard to ignore. I have felt this way for over 10 years.

My only wish is that people here reading all these peoples stories and finding themselves relating should do something about it. Am 34 this coming oct. Eventhough am married and i have 1 son, am still very lonely and getting depressed every second of the day. Sometimes when i go out to buy groceries, i dont want to go home. My husband has a stable job but all he thinks is his work and when his home he always play games on his android or he always on his laptop.

But he just ignore me. I always spend my time with my son. I love my son so much but im still lonely and depressed. My husband works full time and is an excellent provider for our family. I am lonely and depressed and suffer from anxiety. I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in which does not make things better. I feel like I have lost myself.

My husband has an outlet by working and always talks about his colleagues. I love her and thank GOD for her! She has saved my life many of days. Many others have said that it is helpful, and that is fine, if you disagree with what was said, maybe you could bring up some points, and use them to discuss instead of being so negative? I m 23 yrs old. Done graduation n job for one yr. But i always think that i will end up my life only crying.

Even when i am popular in my cousins. In my family my dad was depressed and isolated, he never talked to anyone much. My mom is angry lady,whenever i tried to communicate with her she always ended it up shouting at me. From childhood i heard bad about me so i always try to please people. I have a elder brother who stopped talking to me when i was yrs old. We still dont talk, besides living in a same house.

And now i have atmosphere in my home like my brother dont talk to me said earlier his wife sis in law dont talk to me. I lost dad 2 yrs ago. My mom talks to my brother n sis-in-law. She dont bother about my lunch or dinner. Never ask me for anything. She roams with bpth of them n dont even think to tell me. They come home late in night n never even inform me. No one talks to me in my house. May it sound fake, dramatic,may you dont believe it but its happening with me right now. I am crying like hell but noone cares here….. I am lonely quite a lot, but I feel that the presence of an animal in my home makes me come alive again..

This evening I was feeling tired and of course tiredness plays havoc with ones mind! My soul and being came alive again and my spirits were recharged. Unfortunately they are very hard to find!! What I am trying to say is that, for me, I can relate better to animals than people. I am a 23 year old who for most of my life feels isolated and not wanted. Although I was always a competitive student, throughout my secondary education, my teachers and classmates picked on and bullied me.

I felt like the object of mockery wherever I turned. Forging friendships was a remote possibility since I could not invite friends over to my house. I did not foresee my inability to obtain a loan and was, therefore, dis-enrolled.

I Feel Lonely: What To Do When You’re Feeling Alone

My first relationship began at college where I got involved with a lesbian girl. After recognizing her unhealthiness, I forced myself to leave and never contact her again. Ever since the break-up my loneliness and isolation got much more intense. Conversations are a burden, because I feel so distant from the other party, this includes dating.

What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness oof valuable knowledge on the topic of unexpected feelings. I enjoyed this article very much but more importantly the responses here. I got through most of them but not all.

Some from young people and not so young. Imho, our modern western society seems to go out of its way to be non-enriching for the human experience. As a matter of fact it ignores it all together except for indoctrinating children at school. Been divorced for almost 15 years. There were a few relationships after that but nothing like a marrige… However…. I know I have something to offer. I love hanging out with good people. I love being in a good relationship. People are crazy and shallow. People are busy, which is totally fine, I used to be that way too!

I take my comfort in nature and my pets. Good friends too but they have their own lives. I study the Tao to get wonderful perspective, yet alas I stilll yearn to share life with someone. Just now and then. I have been a loner for most of my 17 year old life, mainly because of how shy i am. I cannot sleep at night because i have no one to talk to, nothing to do all day. I have a best friend but she moved away 3 years ago, and have only seen her twice since. I even tried dance for a couple of months but ended up giving it up because i only had one friend there, and was convinced no one wanted me there.

Please can someone get back to me on this site, because i want a solution…. You should seek counseling. Perhaps your Mom or Dad would accompany you later. I have been alone and lonely for more than 10 years, and its tiring to reach out to someone or so-called friends.. No one is genuine enough.. Everyone is waiting for you to make a mistake, then laugh and gossip about you. Dear Anonymous, We read your comments some not published here and are concerned about the feelings you expressed.

We are concerned for your safety and would like to offer help.

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