Control Your Love Life: How To Get Anyone You Want No Matter Their Gender, Looks, Or Personality

1,500 People Give All the Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need

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If you are in a situation where you see the character of the person, get impressed and grow to love them, looks don't matter.

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So, if you know the person, like something deeper, looks don't matter. If you don't know the person, looks, how they dress, how they speak, their social skills and a lot of such outward things matter because, first impressions matter in the event there aren't more impressions to judge people by. It obviously depends on the situation and most situations are such that you don't necessarily get a second chance. Well, theoretically, they do not, but in real life, most of the people do consider physical appearance while choosing their life partner.

Since childhood, most of us have linked the definition of beauty to physical appearance. Blame the society and a few textbooks for letting us believe that myth. It can be anything: Also, a person would expect at least a physical feature to be good in a person, because beauty can also define physical appearance. One wouldn't want to see someone who is not unique in their own beauty beside them for a whole lifetime.

However, this is completely my perspective and I do not intend to offend or judge anyone based on their looks and appearance as looks can be deceptive. So few days back at work our team had a huge meeting as our Senior Director visited us from New Jersey. The introduction starts with trying to connect with the face and name he knows us by name. Let me also explain what the team basically does, we design a solution and manage a RFP for presales. The Senior Director greets all of us but he spends a little more time of appreciation for the Graphic Designers.

He praises their work a lot and tells them how he loves the cover pages and slides; also emphasizing that the clients too get impressed by the designs. We all consultants look at each other and roll our eyes, it's obvious to do so as we put much more effort in designing a solution and working out the spend analysis, whereas the designer takes a day to pick up an image and edit it.

With all due respect there is no demeaning for a profile but the efforts are extreme. I think then for a moment why the designer was only appreciated? The answer is simple, he makes the RFP deck look a visual treat. A visual treat catches the attention but the question is till how long? A company will grant you a deal only on the basis of the numbers in a long run.

Now let's compare this with life. People will get attracted to looks in a partner no doubt but looks won't work in the long run to build a partnership. Understanding, nature, character and liking are the actual deal breakers. Looks will just grab your attention for a while because humans are designed for visual treat but there is no doubt that sooner or later the reality of quality will sink in.

Appearances of a person can change with time and circumstances, so if you choose your life partner just based on their looks, then in my opinion there is no rationality behind that decision. Marriage in the long run is built on the foundation of love ,understanding, compatability and faith. Appearances and looks are not constant, in the long run they can affect your marriage. Preaching is easy, but a look at the matrimonial section in the newspapers will refute this idea.

Everyone at the end of the day chooses what matters most to them, looks or personality. I knew a guy with dwarfism, but he was very friendly and open and dressed properly. He was very popular and had a super hot and tall wife. A friend of mine married this very obese guy. His obesity ran in the family though he really did eat too many sweets , but he was actually quite healthy he moved around a lot as a professional photographer and size aside, he presented himself quite well.

When I was in China, I saw guys with very long pinkie nail for scratching.

They had terrible hunched-over posture and made loud smacking noises when eating. Some walked around with their shirts rolled up to expose their round bellies during summer to cool off.

Do your genes determine your entire life?

To go a step further, pay attention to what you eat and exercise to control your body shape to reasonable levels. And fix your posture. Slouching is bad for your back. Your physical appearance communicates a great deal of information to a potential partner. This will be a turn off to most women. I would surmise that women are not looking for some super-fit, toned and muscular guy although this does greatly help.

Rather, they seek out a bloke with a flat stomach, good grooming, good hygiene and a great personality that allows them to make a meaningful connection. None of these things matter to us; they are irrelevant and unimportant. What we do care about is a woman having a nice ass and decent set of tits. Men are always thinking about sex scenarios, usually filthy ones, and this is what really motivates us and keeps us interested.

We really are that simple! It matters for initial starting Once you deeply involve with person You are unable to see anything in front of them. You just want to see your beloved happy and contended with you. This only happens if you really understand and live the feel called LOVE. However, even if in relationship if still you looking for flaws or something more needs to correct I personally feel before headed to something like this Well they do matter to some extent. Each one of us has an image of our ideal partner and if the life partner fits that image we would be happier.

In fact we seek that and thats where most of us end up delaying marraige or passing up on partners that are eligible but not good looking. I dont mean to be mean but we also need to be grounded about our own persona before aiming for the sky. What may be beautiful to you, may be only average for me. No matter what color, shape or size you are you must be well groomed.

You dont need to wear branded stuff but you should look good and confident in what you wear. Maintain your hair, skin, beard well as no matter what we say, first impressions do matter. At the end of the day what also matters is how good that person is on the inside.

So if the person fits your ideal partner image to some extent but is a wonderful human being, I think its a good idea to move away from ideal looks. It is purely on ones personal level of perception. It has nothing to do with the situation. Some people even after spending years together cannot go beyond the looks, some may connect deeper even in the first meeting or conversation. It's like when u visit a hill station some might see beautiful trees, birds chirping, sounds of the river and rainbows whereas some will miss all of it and complain about there being no mobile networks, how shabby the roads are, how dirty the villages are.

There is an old saying about this. Never ask who is your friend, ask yourself am I a friend to anybody, always be concerned with yourself. Let's cut the BS that looks don't matter and all that matters is a good heart! If that is the case we'd have to exchange photos of our hearts instead of profile photos while searching for a life partner.

There is no way you, me or anyone for that matter, could guess how true, loyal, genuine, loving, caring, responsible the prospective alliance is.

We are all guilty of falling for looks 1st. If not 1st then at least 2nd. The 1st being job and salary! Big salary makes an average guy look like a Greek God! Looks and apperance does not matter in making a great life. But they do matter while choosing a life partner! But again it depends on the maturity and equation between the both. Now on the other hand if some one just meets like in Indian arranged marriages and want to just marry and move in together, there appears a need of physical attraction.

Now this physical attraction need not be attraction as they call - chemistry etc, even if nothing of that sort is there as well it is fine to still complete a responsible married life fruitfully, but there should be NO REPULSION. And for sure if people just go on looks and appearance and other peripheral things in choosing their partner, they should also stay warned that all that may change!

Ask New Question Sign In. How much do looks and appearance matter in choosing a life partner? I will answer this purely from the viewpoint of science. Read to understand- There are two ways in which love begins among humans. Now to answer the question, let me go back to the law of the nature. To answer this question all you need now is to ask yourself another simple question, Which section are you in? That should solve your doubts. Do good looking people have an advantage? What is the best way to choose life partner? What is the best way to search for a life partner?

What are the important things to consider while choosing a life partner? How much do looks matter in a relationship? Answered Apr 24, Does physical appearance matter when looking for a life partner? No, it doesn't matter at all If Your life partner is really meant to be your partner for life. Thank you for your feedback! Answered Mar 5, Read this story and decide for yourself… if you are familiar with the story…. Sapiosexual men But the case of Women is very different …being a man….

Beauty ,Brains and Character similar moral values!! Quora User , I am a dating and relationship coach. It was prawn paella. It looked great, and tasted great. Answered May 8, Guided by who you are and what you want: Dishonesty is the system of controlling what scares us. A fear of loss, a fear of betrayal, a fear of being hurt, of being seen, of being controlled and owned.

The fears we feel are encoded by the bonds we formed with our parents. I will go through some of the lies we tend to tell during courtship, committed relationships, and marriage. Why would someone be afraid to be honest?

2. Have Realistic Expectations About Relationships and Romance

It pertains to men and women, alike. Relationships are built around simultaneous and yet opposite needs to be autonomous and intimate, and therefore this is where all couple-conflicts arise. In a marriage, there are some major changes cause the dynamic to change — here are a few, roughly: So these are times when a couple might be most vulnerable to affairs because this is when they experience the most stress — change is traumatic because relationships have to organize around them.

A person can perceive their role so strongly that they seek out another person to help them validate it. This is when a person seeks out an emotional affair or suddenly falls in love with someone they barely know. We seek others who can reaffirm our parts. Often with affairs, people are seeking to replace the first stage of a relationship: Meet a person, see their ideal, get to know the reality, freak out and break up. The bond evolves between two people, together: We all choose people based on our fabric, almost via telepathy: When we feel comfortable with our partner, we work out our remaining childhood issues.

Listen for what someone is not saying. This is a tool for those of you who are dating. As a habit, listen to what people are NOT saying. Are there basic understandings that are not being spelled out? Are you confused but hopeful? Are there terms that you think are implied, but have never been made explicit? We want to hear the answer that we are not hearing, so we blind ourselves to the truth by highlighting what gives us hope. All that habit does is cheat you out of years of time that could be spent getting closer to what you want.

Omission is a way of passively lying. Also, they can rationalize the sin as not their fault. Assume nothing and remain open to all possible outcomes, for better or worse. The ghost is a metaphor for an ex who still lingers in the mind of your partner that makes you feel threatened. It might be awkward to facilitate, but if you can both commit to trying this, it works! Your partner must sit and listen to you intently and not say a word back.

For the rest of the week outside of this one hour, you are not allowed to bring up this issue in any shape or form. This tool is really about starting to be honest with yourself. What is the rule for when you should be honest with someone? This is a tool to help you begin to understand what you feel good about, and what makes you happy. That tiny, uncomfortable, fearful feeling is a sign that something in your actions is hurting YOU.

Your acting out of alignment with who you really are. When you abuse yourself, your confidence is lowered and you create feelings of depression. I briefly want to say thank you to my latest sponsors! You are awesome and I love you!

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