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Readers encouraged me, liking my stories, telling me they were funny and cute. People from around the world—even from as far as Australia—would comment on my stories. These positive comments would encourage me to write even better stories.
Reading other published stories has broadened my range of topics and encouraged me to write more creatively. I enjoy writing stories, having the ability to freely express my thoughts on paper and to develop those thoughts into a really good story, an interesting story. Publishing my stories and making them available for people around the world to read makes me feel, as an author, important and special. And it is really cool to know my story has traveled around the world.
I like having my stories read. To my knowledge there are thousands [ millions -ed ] of short stories published on this site. My most recent story, I Miss You , is ranked in the top most read stories with over viewings in less than a week. Maybe one day my story will make top story for a monthly challenge. And I can say it all started with this little story I wrote for my teacher: I Miss You , by asetchay on Storybird Teachers are so important in our lives.
To encourage and motivate us and to provide creative outlets for us to grow and explore. This is why I have become a storyteller.
This post originally appeared on our blog in Asetchay is now in middle school, writing up a storm. Storybird Studio is a free suite of classroom tools for educators. Are you a teacher who uses Storybird? We want to hear from you! Why belabor the obvious? Every morning that summer, John would get up around six. He would smell the bacon and pancakes his mother would be making in the kitchen, and his stomach would give a little hungry flip.
He would jump out of bed and would rush to the bathroom. The tile floor would be cool against his bare feet. He would wash his face quickly. Or in the past perfect tense: Every morning that summer, John had gotten up around six. He had smelled the bacon and pancakes his mother had made in the kitchen, and his stomach had given a little hungry flip. He had jumped out of bed and had rushed to the bathroom. The tile floor had been cool against his bare feet. He had washed his face quickly.
How do you solve this? Introduce the conditional or past perfect tense at the beginning of the passage, then slip into the simple past.
It works, and makes for less intrusive, more graceful prose: He smelled the bacon and pancakes his mother was making in the kitchen, and his stomach gave a little hungry flip. He jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. The tile floor was cool against his bare feet. He quickly washed his face. Strict grammatical tense agreement is a wonderful thing, but agreeable prose is even better.
Overusing participial phrases One of the most common errors in beginning writing. They are often overused with verbal tags, as in the following: Considering for a moment, Susanna took a big handful. Transform some of the participial phrases into sentences in their own right. Susanna fidgeted in her seat. Susanna considered for a moment, then took a big handful.
She thought of herself as a strong person. There was the strangest feeling in the air that night. Mary used both hands to open the doors, just as she did as a little girl. He quickly washed his face. It works, and makes for less intrusive, more graceful prose: Look at the following constructions, quite common in unpolished writing:
Keeping one participial phrase is fine. But get two or more close together, an they start to draw attention to themselves. Consider the following examples: How about another for this guy, and give me a Tequila Sunrise. And how could Jennifer already be looking up at the same time her head shoots up? It would have to be a slow-motion drop! The solution, of course, is to turn each into the discrete action they really are.
She looked above her. The dash lighter dropped onto the floor. He hardly moved except to puff on his cigar which burned judiciously in the ashtray next to a red glass lantern with a small fluttering candle in front of him. The prepositional phrases all in a row create a monotonous rhythm and at the same time make the geography of the scene almost impossible to visualize. He hardly moved except to puff on his cigar which burned judiciously in the ashtray. In front of him, a small candle fluttered in a red glass lantern.
Repetitious words or phrases. Another case of the unnecessary, as in the following: Now that the master of ceremonies was there , the party was all set and the tradition would continue. There was the strangest feeling in the air that night. He always sat in back on long road trips.
This was his time to sit back and gaze out at the landscape. The solution for both of these is either elimination of some of the repetitious words or substitution of other words for them. Now that the master of ceremonies had arrived, the part was all set and the tradition would continue. The strangest feeling was in the air that night.
He always sat there on long trips. This was his time to sit and gaze out at the landscape. Brevity is the soul of wit, and often writing too. Sometimes less is more. Short, pungent, concrete and specific are key here. The place turned out to be a laundromat. She launched herself forward at him. He raised himself from the chair and came to stand by the bar. The place was a laundromat. She jumped at him. He rose from the chair and stood by the bar. Powerful prose is created sentence by sentence, not paragraph by paragraph or page by page.
When revising, you should make sure each sentence is written in the most powerful way possible. Ending sentences with prepositional, adverbial or participial phrases is often weak. Chris and Aaron high-fived outside on the back patio. Annette saw the accident as she was looking out the window. These sentences end weakly, without punch, with subordinate phrases or clauses. Outside on the back patio, Chris and Aaron high-fived. As she was looking out the window, Annette saw the accident.
Anything, no matter how small, affects the imaginative illusion and emotional power of a story. Weaken one strand, and the whole intricate lacelike pattern can start swaying dangerously. Weaken two, and the beauty of the design may collapse. It looked like some penguin outfit. A very fat, black penguin! First, there are only two people here, Mary and Jeanette. Why do we need to keep identifying them with verbal tags? We can keep them straight. A second problem is the dangling verbal tag in the second paragraph.
It seems like an afterthought to boot. Put them near the beginning, even if you have to break up a sentence. Either get rid of them, or better yet condense a verbal tag and a participial phrase together into a separate sentence, thus solving two problems at once. Doing all these, our revised dialogue might look like this: In prose a good simile, metaphor, or personification adds texture and emotional layering to its referent. Doubt overwhelmed him, like a plane circling an airport in a storm which grew louder and stronger, until the thunder and lightning drowned out the sound of the engines and no planes could land.
The smell hit him like a swarm of wasps, buzzing and vengeful, ready to fly into his nose and sting him. The first example is ludicrous. Homer could get away with extended similes, but they were carefully constructed and always came from the same world as their referent. They sustained their logic. But this simile just breaks down. We get lost somewhere in the storm. And the imaginative connection between a nonsubstantial thought and very physical airplanes, with fuselages, wings, engines, and so on is strained at best.
Better would have been to keep the image simple, and confined to only one sensory paradox: Unnecessary phrases of realization and discernment: Look at the following constructions, quite common in unpolished writing: He saw that there were three men running over the hill. He discovered he was not alone in the room. Barbara realized a sound was coming from the closet.
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Tammy noticed that the man had long, dirty blond hair. He also saw that he was whispering to himself. It seemed she was lost. Most sentences of this ilk can be strengthened simply by eliminating the phrase of discernment in italics above. And the sentence automatically becomes punchier: Three men were running over the hill. He was not alone in the room.
A sound was coming from the closet. The man had long, dirty blond hair. Overuse of the passive voice: Look at these examples: There was a hush that fell over the party. There were two men stumbling down the street. John found himself trembling. She thought of herself as a strong person.
These are not as strong as: A hush fell over the party. Two men were stumbling down the street. She thought she was a strong person. Consider the following paragraph: Fascinated, Sarah watched Mrs. McQuade take the book in her hands, open it, remove the bookmark, and smooth the pages. The teacher adjusted her glasses. Her every movement seemed precise and pure, Sarah thought. She was just listening to their sound, and watching the way Mrs. She was completely hypnotized by the teacher.
He could stand and talk to it. In fact, he probably would. In both cases, take out the unnecessary explanatory sentences. Monotonous sentence rhythm happens when one or both of two things happens: Often the two occur together, like Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
Dan looked at his watch. He looked down the street. The street was empty and silent. A neon sign was blinking over the bar. Dan rubbed his chin. A man walked out of the bar. Pulling back the sleeve of his sweater, Dan looked at his watch. When he looked down the street, Dan saw it was empty and silent. Blinking over a bar was a neon sign. As Dan was rubbing his chin, a man walked out of the bar. Here, we see more variety in sentence length, but too many too close together feature the same construction: They begin with a participial or adverbial phrase or clause.