The Drinkers Woman Book 1: 2nd Edition: For the Woman who loves or has loved a man who drinks too much

Would the drinking stop if he or she loved you?

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A series of five studies conducted in Denmark showed that — as of age five — the children of mothers who had drunk moderately during pregnancy suffered no ill effects, and a UK study found that children born to light drinkers fared better on cognitive development tests than the offspring of teetotalers. But while conclusions differ, the consensus is that pregnant women should avoid drinking in their first trimester.

Early last year, even the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists pulled its support for occasional drinking for newly pregnant women. Thankfully, my doctor was unconcerned and reassured me that despite all of the cautions around first trimester drinking, I should stop worrying about it. Ultimately, the aggregate of all this advice on pregnant drinking comes down to a few simple guidelines: Beyond that, most experts seem to agree, each woman should do what feels right to her. As the latest American Association of Pediatrics guideline states: This article contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase.

All our journalism is independent and is in no way influenced by any advertiser or commercial initiative. The links are powered by Skimlinks. View all 51 comments. I am locked out. Ain't no toothpick strong enough to keep this one from skidding off the plate. Anna exists behind the shuttered doors and windows of her four-story home in New York City.

Dark and dreary are the colors that paint her reclusive world both on the exterior and on the interior. Anna suffers from agoraphobia that keeps her locked in as a prisoner of her own home and of her own mind. Those mind gremlins have taken residence and Anna sedates them with plenty of prescription drugs. She sloshes around at the bottom of a Merlot bottle like an Olympic drinker Day by day she locks into perpetual viewing of old black and white movies including Vertigo and Rear Window. Her only interactions with the outside world are through weekly home visitations with her psychiatrist, her physical therapist, and her basement tenant, David.

Anna is separated from her husband, Ed, and their young daughter, Olivia, which brings about a lonely, suffocating existence. Daily phone calls just don't seem to fill the void. But one bright spot comes with Anna's monitoring of her neighbor's comings and goings. She uses her Nikon camera lens to zoom in for a closer look. Such an activity brings the outside world in and gives Anna a bit of control as to when and as to how long she wishes to view their movements. She becomes particularly attached to the Russell family across the small park.

Bizarro World in Living Color Anna's black and white movie world will suddenly take on techno color hues. With her up-close-and-personal camera lens, Anna witnesses something horrendous happening in the Russell's home through that window. Paralyzed with fear, Anna reports it. Let's just say that no one is buying what our Anna is selling. But, you and I the readers, we know the truth.

Finn will see to it that the truth comes in variations and all sizes The movie rights have already been sold for this one. But I must honestly say that the pacing is all wrong. The beginning chapters are slow. We, the readers, circle around the storyline puffing up cushions trying to get comfy and ready. It's gonna take a while. But then, it finally takes off. My other concern is the amount of pills and Merlot that Anna consumes on a daily basis. In the real world, she'd be face down, not breathing, and with carpet marks all over her face.

I'll leave it there and hope the screen writers will nip and tuck. I encourage you to take this one out for a test drive. Cushions propped up, you might just be in for a surprise. And no Merlot required View all 39 comments. It isn't paranoia if it's really happening The Woman in the Window is intoxicating, dark, and simply unputdownable.

Anna Fox spends her day in her five-story townhouse drinking Merlot, spying on her neighbors, and mixing pills to numb her thoughts. She has theories and pseudo-storylines for her neighbors, each one being unique and different in their own way. When she is not photographing and spying o It isn't paranoia if it's really happening When she is not photographing and spying on her neighbors, Anna watches famous black and white movies to pass the time and regularly checks in with her daughter and husband, who she recently has separated from.

Anna suffers from agoraphobia, preventing her from leaving the confines of her house and limiting her ability to experience the real world effectively. Her hours, days, and weeks are consumed by fear and curiosity. When her new neighbors move in across the park from her house, Anna is intrigued at their anonymity. As she begins to investigate the story of her new neighbors, something horribly goes wrong. Anna witnesses something that shouldn't have happened—or did she? I was curious to see how this story would develop and see what the hype was about. After getting hooked in right from the beginning, I figured out why.

The Woman in the Window will definitely not be for everybody. The initial pacing is moderate, to say the least. I wouldn't classify it as a slow burn however, because as the story progresses, the character development of Anna and the provided characters becomes ever more intriguing. Nothing is rushed or overlooked—everything is portrayed at exactly the right time.

Why is Anna agoraphobic? What's her mental state like? How is she coping? What's going on in the outside world that she's missing? Who are all these people around her? These are just some of the questions that pulled me in while starting The Woman in the Window and it kept me guessing until the end. The Woman in the Window breaks away from the mold of some of the more recent in-your-face psychological thrillers that have been sprouting out more and more since the release of the book that shall not be named , and that's very refreshing to me.

This type of psychological thriller really gets you in the mindset of Anna's psyche without throwing everything at you at once. As I've stated earlier, this book will not be for everyone. This thriller breaks the mold and sets a new standard—so buckle up ! Thank you Goodreads and William Murrow Books for my advanced copy. Who's that woman in the window? Anna Fox has spent the past 10 months inside her NY home. Her home is her safe place and she is too afraid to venture outside her door.

She entertains herself daily with the following activities: Yet all the clues are set out if you can "catch" them! Beware that the beginning is a bit confusing and takes awhile to set things in motion, but even with that I couldn't pull myself away from the story. Very fast read for me! Not edge of your seat, but more like the pull of a magnet. Super time reading this one with Traveling sisters! Morrow for my arc. View all 65 comments. The main character, Anna Fox, suffers from agoraphobia hers is a fear of being outside. I liked Anna, but found that after the halfway mark, her paranoia and constant coping mechanisms started to get slightly annoying.

Finn, did a fanta 3. I found myself flipping the pages quickly as I was very curious to see how everything would come together in the end. My interest and curiosity was piqued from the very start. It was fun to discuss this one along the way, everyone having their own suspicions and theories. To find this review along with the other Traveling Sister Read reviews, please visit Norma and Brenda's fabulous blog at: A big thank you to Edelweiss, William Morrow and A. Finn for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review! Expected Date of Publication: Anna Fox used to have a successful life as a mother, wife, and child psychologist, but something happened several months earlier that has given her agoraphobia.

She can have her prescription medications and endless bottles of wine delivered, so she never has to leave her house. If she does want human contact, she calls her estranged husband and the daughter that lives with him. Her physical therapist and doctor come to her. There is also the online community of other people battling agorapho Dr. There is also the online community of other people battling agoraphobia. When she sees a neighbor in trouble and the police get involved, she is not a reliable witness.

People who mix prescription drugs and copious amounts of alcohol rarely are. I enjoyed the suspense of this novel. For more of my reviews, please visit: View all 17 comments. In a nut shell I wasn't that impressed with this debut. Anna Fox lives in her townhome in New York struggling with agoraphobia.

She has taken on some unique activities to help pass the time In between Anna's struggles with her agoraphobia she talks to her daughter and ex-husband frequently. One day Anna is looking through her window and sees somethi In a nut shell One day Anna is looking through her window and sees something horrifying. Anna is so determined to find out what she saw in the window I have seen raving reviews for it but here are some of the issues I had with this one: This was a traveling sister read. Please check out their amazing blog to see the full sister review: Thank you to Edelweiss for the arc.

Overall, 3 stars for this one. View all 41 comments. I'm really torn on this one, because on one hand I was able to see all the twists coming see Karen Brissette's review for my similar feelings on this , and it was a long book to feel entirely predictable, but on the other it was still a fun, enjoyable novel and I whole heartedly embraced the inclusion of the black and white movies and Alfred Hitchcock favorites that I grew up on. I felt neutral on the narrator here; she wasn't a long term favorite but she didn't grate on my nerves either.

Overa I'm really torn on this one, because on one hand I was able to see all the twists coming see Karen Brissette's review for my similar feelings on this , and it was a long book to feel entirely predictable, but on the other it was still a fun, enjoyable novel and I whole heartedly embraced the inclusion of the black and white movies and Alfred Hitchcock favorites that I grew up on. Overall, I would count it a success and I'm floored that this was a debut novel. Eagerly anticipating the author's next work! View all 25 comments. All upcoming psychological thrillers will now be held at a higher standard.

Who is she cuz I don't know her. View all 9 comments. This book is a psychological thriller starring agoraphobic Dr. Anna is a house-bound psychologist that spends her days drinking wine, popping benzos , watching films, and spying on her neighbors with the powerful zoom of her camera. One day, Anna is doing her usual snooping when she sees a crime being committed and her life is then turned upside down. This is the setup for this thriller and is all I'm saying about this novel, you must read it to find out what happens.

I enjoyed the nove This book is a psychological thriller starring agoraphobic Dr. I enjoyed the novel and experienced many thoughts and emotions while reading it. At the beginning I thought 'I'd love to spend my days like Anna relaxing at home' UNTIL the main character described the crippling aspect of agoraphobia and how the mental illness has limited her life and the lives of other sufferers like her. The author did a great job of chronicling the symptoms and thoughts of the main character, Anna's anxiety and powerlessness.

It is extremely difficult to cope with a mental illness , however, the main character annoyed me at points because she did not help herself by constantly missing her doses, erroneously taking double doses, and mixing them with alcohol despite her Doctor's stern warning to NOT mix her prescribed medications with alcohol. Overall, I enjoyed the novel and recommend it to readers of thrillers and contemporary fiction.

View all 38 comments. This review is a hard one for me. I struggled with the first half of the book, only to be totally drawn in by the end. The book starts offs slowly, setting the stage. Anna Fox is a child psychotherapist who suffers from agoraphobia. But that kind of works. But a little of that goes along way and I kept waiting for something to happen to turn up the pace. As the story goes along, I started wondering about some of the twists I assumed were coming. I correctly guessed the first big reveal well before it comes out.

This book is a homage to old movies, especially Hitchcock and other film noir directors. But the movie this most reminded me of is a more recent one. Flip side, I totally blew how I envisioned the ending. Grading this is hard. The second half of the book is much more engrossing than the first. It really took a long time to grab me. I listened to this and the narrator, Ann Marie Lee, did a great job.

Her voice was a rainbow of nuances and emotions. I find I like my audiobooks to be fast paced. Unfortunately, good writing is harder for me to appreciate when listening rather than reading. So, in the end I'm going with a 3. View all 29 comments. Totally caught me off guard that I'd enjoy this book as much as I did. All the better because I listened to it without any clue as to what it would be about. Some nice turns of phrases and superb tension throughout. Audiobook reader did a great job too. View all 26 comments. This book has restored my faith in psychological thrillers and was a solid 5 star reading experience.

Her husband left her some time ago, and took their I loved it! Her husband left her some time ago, and took their 8 year old daughter with him, but Anna talks to them nightly. She spends the rest of her days and nights watching old black-and-white movies on TV, chatting and dispensing advice in an online forum, and spying on her neighbors, all while downing large amounts of Merlot with a concoction of prescription pills. I had enormous sympathy for her. One day, while spying on the neighbors across the street, Anna witnesses a crime, but, because of her alcohol and pill addiction, she has trouble getting the police to believe her — that and the fact that there is zero evidence of a crime, but compelling evidence that Anna is unstable and imagining things.

Play in new window Download. She used to be drop-dead gorgeous. She turned every head when she came into a room, and not just because of her looks. She had an aura, a charisma. She was also a fabulous entertainer, actually a professional singer for many years.

Before that she was a nurse and worked for some of the top doctors in the area. We met when she just turned 40 and I was She openly told me when we met she was in treatment for drug addiction, but she seemed to be serious about recovering. She did recover from this, and a few years later we were married. As of today she has no drivers license, no job, and never leaves the house. She was singing in a couple of bands but she has quit that. She lays on the couch and drinks whiskey all day, every day. There was a pile of dirty clothes and blankets beside the bed covered in vomit.

It took me an entire day to get the room into any kind of shape at all. Once in the last 6 months, and that is nothing unusual. At this time she cares about one thing, and one thing only. The last time any of her family came to visit she showed very little interest. I have a new grandchild who was born about 6 weeks ago and my wife has never even seen her.

Her mother passed away about 6 weeks ago, but my wife was doing this long before. If I left her she would have nowhere to go and no one. Her sons and ex-husband live hours away, and they are not capable of taking her in anyway. I am 31, my husband is We have been married for 10 years, together for 13 years. Last night he told me there was a lot of women out there and he could just go get another one and have other kids.

He said he will never stop drinking for us, that he will die drinking. He thinks he deserves someone who loves him the way he is with his drinking included. I want to leave so badly but something is holding me back. I want to be happy…. Been with my boyfriend 16 years. I think he is holding that against me and told me drunk he never loved me and was a lie and denies that is not true and acts like nothing… I am going get a job since last job was at ER and had to quit because daycare issues and was working nights.

I love him and want get my life straightened out before I leave him. But my pride is killing me softly. We dated for 6 years before we got married. Yes — we met at a bar. We were both divorced. I was attracted to him because he was the life of the party, everyone loved him, fun guy! Sex life was great. We would dance and party with the best of them until the bar closed weekend after weekend.

With all of that being said — I do not blame him for everything. I knew he drank. Who did I think I was? In the past year alone, he has told me he was going to quit drinking at least 6 times. He has told me he is not going to loose me because of alcohol. YET — he drinks himself drunk almost daily. He hides the liquor bottles. With me — he is impatient and is disrespectful. He has no interest in having conversations or showing intimacy.

He is in love with his bottle. I told him that if he asked his friends and family if they thought he had a problem that they would all say yes. I told him I was no longer enabling him and was no longer putting up with it. I have felt like a roommate, not a wife. I honestly think my marriage is over. I am the wife of a binge alcoholic. I just left home this week after being married for 23 years. My 19 year old just finished 30 day residential treatment for heroin after his 2nd relapse.

My husband thinks because he has cut back, he is fine. He gets drunk, says horrible things, antagonizes me and the kids and then apologizes or most often, blames me. As I began reading these comments, the damage that alcoholism causes is so deep it is simply overwhelming. What is also overwhelming is how many wives, girlfriends, moms, dads, husbands, etc. If it could, none of the drinkers would continue drinking. Every one of you loved this man, woman, son, daughter, etc. So, recognize you cannot stop the drinker from drinking, only they can stop themselves.

You are not alone and your love will not stop this addiction. Anymore than your love can stop cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc. What is the matter with you? When I was home with a very sick baby and he was out drinking with his brother until 3: When he went drunk over to my divorced neighbor and tried to proposition her and she told me to come and get him…the list goes on an on. I feel enormous guilt for not leaving sooner and also because we did have good times. He would go a few months without heavy drinking and it was good.

He has a good job and never missed due to drinking. But he was still angry and mean. He flies off the handle and I walk on eggshells. So now, I am trying it on my own. My husband knows if he will face his problems, I will go to counseling every day for a month if that is what it takes. God has opened doors I never knew were unlocked.

They love their disease more or are just incapable of seeking treatment. My husband is a drinker and has been for the last 35 years or so. At first I did not know it. He is a nice person underneath, but he is so sick from his drinking. He takes up for himself even though he is wrong. I have reached out for help from family members and also other people to try and figure this thing out, but everyone looks at me like there is something wrong with me. They say things like, Leave him alone, or be nice. I have been so mentally abused by him until I am the one that lashes out.

I try to talk to him, but he never listens or takes heed to anything I am saying. I have Lupus, and I am not supposed to be stressed out. He does not care about me at all…. I want to leave so bad, but he pays the bills. I have no one to help me, or anyone that will listen. I am so tired I do not know what to do…. I feel so lost…. He becomes angry, mean, verbally and mentally abusive. Like everyone else, we have been through a lot, lost a baby boy in , my husband lost his father 2 months after. Its just been these past 4 years that its been out of control.

He drinks almost every day. I recently got the courage to leave him. I left my home for my sanity and peace of mind. Being married to an alcoholic kills your spirit, at least it did mine. Since his heart attack in , he has been drinking to feel better. When he gets that buzz he is very agressive and likes to argue. I walk away and go to bed when he is like this, but he just follows me. I need to leave him! It is hard because it is the most difficult decision I have ever had to make.

When he is sober he is the sweetest most caring person. I do love him, but I love myself too. I have health issues and when he is drunk my health suffers. Or should I tell him now that I am leaving? I met him in a really bad part of my life. I was here in the US not my home country and started using drugs.

But I worked and took care of my life. He soon was homeless and then we moved in together. He would never hold a job, and would drink and come back in the morning. He was also doing a lot of drugs, while I was backing down. I got pregnant and wanted abortion. I had to ask my boss for an upfront of my salary and had to tell her why, and I had an abortion. We were homeless for over a month. I slept with cockroaches around me, it was the most sad time of my life.

But he was always a good man, so sweet, had a nice family, and he had such a big heart… so I went back to my country and he went there after.

Alcohol and depression

I quit drinking and using drugs completely. He was good for a while, but then started the drinking again. Nothing like it was before, this time was like every once in a while he would go out, spend a lot of money, and come back in the morning. Then the binging started every month. Once he spent all his salary in one night. Another time he lost my credit card.

Another time he got in a fight and came back bleeding. My family saw him that way, my dad… it was horrible. Then I kicked him out, but only to see if he would recover being away from me and having to take care of himself. He came to the US, his country. I wanted to be with him, and we got together. On the first time I saw him after 1. He was there for one month and begged to stay with me.

He was good for a while, but in the last 2 weeks he went out twice and came back after 3 AM, drunk and high on cocaine. He never has money. Thank you for this Space. Boyfriend 36, I am We have Lived together for two years. I wAnt to leave him but I love him. He depends on alcohol to relax. He doesnt think he has a problem.

He doesnt go out. He just drinks in his room watching tv. I feel he only thinks of getting high.. Gavehim another chance bit has drank Twice after just just weeks. Please more mature ladies guide me, ty. My 46 yr old daughter just died from liver failure. As I work back thru the wreckage she left behind, I think she drank for years and hid it well until about 5 yrs ago. She was a binge drinker.

Become a psychiatrist

She drank until she passed out. I realize now we probably enabled her. I feel so sad and guilty. The worst part of all of this, she left her 8 yr old daughter behind. Our granddaughter lives with us now. We are all trying to cope with this. I am 65 and just retired, did not expect to spend the last part of my life raising another child, and coping with the pieces that my daughter left behind. I have been in a relationship with a guy I believe to be an alcoholic. He has a strong background of alcoholic relatives, starting with his mom.

His mom used to be the type of alcoholic who gets verbally and physically aggressive and abusive. My partner ended up on the streets and started drinking at a very young age.

Pregnant and hungry? How to eat for two without the stress

He is now 29 and I am When I met him I knew he drank a lot, from what I saw and under my standards, but I did not know he used to drink almost daily before moving in with me. When he moved in with me I started seeing he drank 2 or 3 times during the week, plus heavier on the weekends. I was troubled because he does not get aggressive neither verbally or physically, at all. He keeps being his lovey dovey self, he just plays his PS4 while drinking, then cooks dinner, then we watch movies and go to sleep. He has never passed out, but has has a couple black outs where he does not clearly remembers certain conversations, but this has been rare.

He keeps on going to work and everything seems to function normally. Though, I come from a family where neither my mother or father drank, so I am not used to it. I do drink socially and I am not gonna lie, I have binge drank and passed out on one of those crazy weekend nights, but we are talking of a once a month thing and not even.

We have had so many arguments over his drinking, I hate coming home to a man whose breath and skin stinks to alcohol, to a home where I see bottles and bottles of beer, I hate seeing him grog sick next day and going to work like that, I hate how he looks after it, all pale and so old.

He has made plenty of compromises after I have threatened to leave him. Though, he breaks those compromises again and again and twisting his words to his convenience. Some other times he accepts that he can not stop at two or three standard drinks, because it has no effect on him, he has built a high tolerance. I broke uo with him yesterday, again; he thought I was gonna change my mind, I asked him to come up with a plan on how to stop this situation, he did not, so I left.

I am so heart broken, I do not know what to do. I do not really want to leave him and I have never felt this in love, he is supportive, hard worker, extremely caring to my needs and wants, but this one things is killing me even though it is not extreme. I do not know what to do. My husband lost job, union got him back in if he goes to out patient rehab.

I have been without voice which really stressed our relationship but we have been working on it. Please tell me it gets better. We have long painful history, which we both have worked on and we both want to for filling our dreams together. Any success stories out there? Then we went on holiday a family holiday with our sons and his parents and he was drunk for 2 weeks since we have been home i said i jad had enough and it was tge drink or our marriage he chose the alcohol but wouldnt leave so now hes still here drinking as soon as he finishes work and sleeping on tge sofa but actually seems ok about it and im going crazy!!!

Wow,… This is crazy. All the money, courts, blowing in the lock on the steering wheel before he could drive it, classes, AA and then some. When leaves I feel peace. So that was fine with me for a year. I have him 4 chances so I told him, in solidarity with him…I would stop drinking Whiskey too. He does NOT want to be a pill popper so he relies on that and beer to get himself to sleep.

Along with his Marijuana bowls. So my friend an I want to the house to see if he did pile my stuff in the yard…. It became a game to him. I returned his Promise Ring…. He also says I kept him from being himself. I met him when I was in a dark place in my life. My ex had left me pregnant and alone.

I was looking for a friend and ended up hanging out with him one night. He was drunk when I came over but I really didnt think much of it. I wasnt looking for love… Just a distraction.

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We got along so well we ended up dating. Little did I know the entire time we dated he was talking to other girls and telling all his friends that I was living on the streets and how he took me in. It was a lie of course. I lived with my sister in a house we shared and had never been homeless in my life. I was pregnant again this time with his child and I had kicked him out. I told him last night that I wont b giving our son his last name when I give birth. His family made several threats about killing our unborn child and thus are not allowed around him.

He is angry when I ask, beg, threaten and plead for him to be and get sober and he can be verbally abusive when drunk, but he is lucky enough to pass out every night and not remember it the next day. I literally down play a lot of his behaviors because I feel sorry for him. He is embarrassing and I feel bad for him. I just know people have to talk about him when he is drunk and it makes me feel like I have to protect him.

He hurts me and I feel like I have to protect him?

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He lies about how much he drinks. He believes just because half a bottle of whiskey fits into one very large glass, it constitutes as one drink. I started writing him emails, believing that he would read them while sober and it would be more productive for a stable marriage. Sadly I found out he has quit reading them. When we first got together we drank together and had a ton of fun.

He would tell me the next day how I acted and what I said and I remembered none.

Not only was I embarrassed, but I began to realize that I loved him enough to give him all of me. To actually give our marriage a real chance by being. What it boils down to is what we had in common was drinking. I will soon begin preparing to move and start a life without him. Best thing is just let him be the alcoholic he is. It will get him in the end. I have tried for years to get him to stop. There is a point where you just give up. I am planning a life without him as his days are numbered.

He most recently got his 4th DUI so let the courts deal with him now. He cannot drive for 3 years and yet he gets his booze. Tonight he is not home — somewhere — and most likely will walk home if he can even find his way after his drinking.

Drinking: A Love Story

I refused to pick him up! I will not be an enabler anymore! How is he going to make his court dates? Not my problem anymore! It might sound cruel but I have been to hell and back with his drinking. Final thought — if he does try and walk home he might just get picked up by police. Happy Easter to him! I have been with my man for 14 years, we lived under the same roof for 11 of those years and currently, we each live with our parents. We lost the last home we had because he lost his job and down-ward spiraled. That was the first time i had ever felt abandoned by my soul mate. For many years he would only binge.

It escalated to him missing many days of work and loosing jobs because of this. My own jobs were at jeopardy because of my attendance due to late nights arguing and not sleeping etc etc. Now that we have been living separately, his parents do not enforce or even speak of any boundaries with his drinking.

Actively for the last 3 years, he has worked his binge drinking into a full blown addiction to the point where he has actually admitted to me that he wonders where he is going to get his next drink as soon as he wakes up. He ended up getting a group of drunken manipulative friends and a temporary fill in for me, sharing intimate details about me, about us and about our relationship with this girl.

He also let his friends disrespect me in front of him and did nothing. But what can i do? The people in his home turn a blind eye to his addiction, his apartment is upstairs from a liquor store which he gets credit for beer, and works off the credit by stocking in the store. I have been married to a great guy sober and something other than when drinking.

He is a manic depressant with sexual trauma ptsd. I myself am military ptsd. He has not been sober for more than 15 days since his last drug-alcohol overdose. His drinking has destroyed our financial secutity on multiple times. I let him stay. Cause…darn it…what a great charming everyone lives him good to me kinda guy…when he is in his right mind. We did not celebrate but watched like a messed up reality show our tenth year in marriage. I list another part of me. That was 13 days ago. I am told it has nothing to do with me.

This is the last evening I engage with the wrong mind. I have called my father. He wants to give me money. I will not take it. I just wanted to hear him tell me I can do it. Tomorrow I will attend another alanon…maybe this time i say something or stay longer. But tonight I accepted this fate of bad decisions and circumstance and bad luck. I researched and downloaded a few things to help me get back to financial stability so i have the strength to do what has to be done for my kids and me. Love of my life has little to do with it. Love of myself has everything to do with it.

I start again but with a bigger set of tools and networks and self worth than the last time i started again. So it will be okay if i take the time to care for me. But for tonight…at least right now…i just wanted to say that outloud. Even if it is just to remind me i deserve cool fun charming loving kind of guy more than a little bit of the time.

He hides bottles in his car and all around the house. I will not let him drink here. I have known my husband for 16 years. He does not drink very often, x a month, but is out of control when he does. He has got two DUIs, the latest one after just two drinks. He is very skinny and that might have something to do with his low tolerance. Recently he was out of state on a business trip and went to a bar to catch football game. Got too drunk, got lost on way back to his hotel, kept taking trains and buses and walking for hours before passing out on a side walk.

I had to beg the hotel front desk folks to go looking for him. Luckily he was found and brought back to the safety of his hotel room. After all this, he still claims he does not have a drinking problem. I asked him to choose between me and alcohol and he refuses to abstain from drinking. Says he is going to make sure this does not happen again.

I dont believe in anything he says anymore and I know that the next drunken night is just around the corner for him. I am going to therapy to figure out what to do next. I would walk out in a heartbeat if it were not for our 7yr old girl. I have been with my husband for over 23 years and the last 6 years have been a living hell. He has been in and out of rehab 3 times.

Pills, cocaine and this last rehab was for drinking. I am at my end of what I can take. I am no longer hurt by all he has done to himself and our family but I am angry. I love him with all my heart. I keep holding on to that I know the man I married,the father and son I know he once was is still there. But when will enough be enough.

It is destroying me as a person. Without think how can you do this to people you love you are so selfish. We have even told him if you feel like drinking or taking a pill reach out to us we will be there. I caught him this morning drinking at 5am!! What makes people do this? Yes my heart tells me he would stop drinking if if he loved me and if he loved our 9 month old son but my brain tells me that love has nothing to do with this addiction. He choses the shots and liquor over us everyday.

He thinks because he functions he is okay. He has allowed the alcohol to take him and the beautiful smart person he is away from me. My heart is breaking. My story is so similar to thought I read above. I am so angry that this addiction is potentially going to cause chaos in my life. I am so very tired of feeling all alone. We have plans for our future we talk about us as partners, but this last time he was drinking for got to pick me up from basically and stated he was lost.

I pray he gets help and for us to be but I know if at one point I just end up being hurt to where I lose myself I need to walk away from him. No idea where to go from here as I truly believe the only place to go is away from him. Long story short- got pregnant after a few months dating, he left, we battled in court, 7 years later we got back together. However, he went from being a big pothead to an alcoholic pothead. I know he loves me. He has a horrible drinking problem. I love him more than anyone, and he knows that. So what do we do? A few days of no drinking here, an AA meeting there…and right back to the bottle faster than I can even process.

Drinking by 11, alcoholic by 20, sober by one woman's story - Telegraph

He ruined Christmas Eve by coming home this afternoon drunk. Denied it left and right. Swore he was just sad from a funeral he had been to. So I was forced to leave my parents early to go back home to his drunkenness. All of me wants it to be over, while all of me wants to stay. I hate him, I love him. My husband of 3 years left me because he chose beer over our marriage. He completely bailed on me, leaving me with all the bills. He never had the courage to tell me to my face he was leaving. He just grabbed all of his stuff while I was at work.

There had been two attempts at sobriety on his part, both times initiated by him because, after our first six months of marriage together, it had become obvious that he was an alcoholic. He had hidden it well while we were dating. I compromised and humiliated myself in the process. I knew in my heart the relationship was doomed, but he was a loving and funny and amazing man while sober, so I told myself those moments were worth the pain.

And I told myself the biggest lie of all when he was drinking: Al-Anon has been the biggest blessing to me.

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