OCD in the Trenches A Manual for People With OCD and Those Who Care For Them

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I recommend this book to anybody supporting a loved one in managing a mental illness. The reader will discover he is not alone, there are resources and help available, and most important, there is hope. A Journey to Recovery as a love story, featuring the selfless love a parent has for a suffering and hurting child. I love this book. I mean, I really love this book. It is very well written and flows easily through what was probably one of the most painful years of the Singer family's lives. I had a hard time putting the book down and read it in its entirety in a handful of sittings.

Throughout the book, Dr. Gillihan adds thoughtful and informative commentary abut OCD, and more importantly, treatment, including ERP and medication. His input is spot-on and adds a critically important component to the book. These are not throwaway or filler remarks. They are filled with solid information that sufferers and their families can use to guide them forward through the maze of battling OCD. Overcoming OCD is a big win for me, and I will gladly recommend it.

The book is co-authored by Seth Gillihan, who provides expert commentary and background information about the condition and its treatment, which is interspersed throughout the book in bite-sized chunks easily digested by the layman. At the end, I had a lump in my throat, in spite of already knowing the outcome of Dan's journey, both from the book's title and as a follower of Janet's blog. His success in reclaiming his life is inspirational and proves that, no matter how badly affected you are by OCD, you can do the same.

Heck, I recommend it even if you've never even heard of OCD. It's inspirational, absorbing, and just a plain good story. Parents with children who have OCD would particularly benefit and would be reminded that they are not alone in their journey. The beneficial role that family support can play is well illustrated. It realistically portrays the hell of OCD. Nothing is watered down in this book.

Families are going to be able to recognize immediately that this family truly understands the torture of OCD. Seth Gillihan's forthright explanations. I like that readers are given both one family's personal experience, but that the book still dials back and addresses things more clinically and more generally.

I hope you'll read this important book. Anyone who doesn't think that OCD is a serious illness needs to read Dan's story. As the parent of a child suffering from OCD, I found the book to be incredibly helpful, affirmative and informative. The book also includes quite a bit of information about the different types of treatments for OCD including the different types of medications that are often provided, Cognative Behavioural Therapy CBT including the all-important Exposure and Response Prevention ERP , residential and therapeutic treatments, and other resources.

This information is presented in easy to read sidebars, with lots of references and links, in a way that aligns with Dan's story. Overcoming OCD provides the full trajectory of the Singer family experience from the point they learned about Dan's OCD to his graduation from college. Though there is a wealth of OCD information and resources in the book which will be helpful to anyone with an involvement in OCD including sufferers, families, doctors, and therapists, this is really a book pitched at parents or carers of OCD sufferers, an often thankless, painful and difficult role that demands an intense learning curve.

Not only does Overcoming OCD provide advice, support, and hope to parents, but it also talks to some of the struggles that OCD puts on other siblings, the pitfalls to watch out for in certain types of treatments, things like enabling to be careful of, and above all, the importance of remaining positive even when the situation looks intractable.

Perhaps most important of all, is that this book speaks in very candid and open ways about a misunderstood and often silent mental illness. Overcoming OCD is an important book, not just because it is a valuable resource full of information on the types of treatment that can help OCD sufferers like Dan, but also because it offers much needed wisdom and hindsight to the families of suffers. It is only through open discourse and information that mental illnesses like OCD can become understood enough so that mistreatment becomes the exception rather than the norm, and so that sufferers feel comfortable seeking the treatment they so desperately need.

Janet Singer and Seth J. Gillihan are to be congratulated on producing such a unique and powerful guide that will hopefully change public perception about this illness and offer help and hope to many. Singer's story clearly conveys the pain of having a loved one struggle with OCD, yet inspires those in their fight by illustrating how this family triumphed. Beyond being compelling and inspiring, this text successfully educates the reader about the nature and treatment of OCD.

A Journey to Recovery is an inspiring story of a young man's determination and courage to free himself from the limitations and terrors of his obsessive-compulsive disorder. Whether you suffer with the condition or whether you love someone who suffers with the condition, you will find something in this book that will encourage and enlighten.

Singer and Gillihan invite us into the world of an OCD family by seamlessly combining heartfelt memories with concrete clinical facts. The book reads like a true crime novel with the hero being a mother who will stop at nothing to help her son through a maze of mental illness and those who treat it, a theme that surely resonates with more families than we know.

A Guide for Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions with Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy This book is a remarkable achievement; it is a poignant and powerful memoir as well as a valuable resource for understanding and managing OCD. Talking Listening Connecting with Your Kids I learned a lot from this important book, in which we read a mother's first-person account of her anguish and eventual triumph as she attempts to navigate the confusing world of treatment options for a college-age son stricken with severe OCD.

Her first-person account is beautifully balanced by the voice of Dr. Gillihan, an expert in OCD, who provides the reader with additional information on what treatments are available, which are backed by science, and what to expect when engaging in them. There are few books in which we read so intimately of a parents' struggle to care for a child with OCD.

There are fewer still that detail this struggle when the child is actually a young adult, leaving the nest, and the parent must strike the right balance between providing structure and care while respecting a son's growing need for independence. This book will benefit and educate those suffering from OCD, those who love them, and those who treat them in clinical settings.

The personal story of Dan's brave journey and alternating treatment information make this book inspiring and informative. A Journey to Recovery is a touching and valuable book. In its best moments, it captures a mother's struggles to understand her son's OCD and support him through a long and difficult journey, with grace and forthrightness. Through a series of clear and well-referenced sidebars, the book also provides concrete information about OCD and its treatment that is of great value. Every person with OCD experiences it differently, and Dan's journey, as experienced by his mother, will resonate with some patients and their families more than with others.

But the clarity and simple humanity of the story will be a great help to many individuals and many families who have been touched by OCD, and by mental illness more broadly, letting them know that others have experienced what they are going through, and have flourished. The book is revealing and brings the reader through a range of emotions. It is well researched and provides an informative account of how one can recover from OCD with professional treatment and the support of family. I highly recommend this book to anyone coping with OCD.

From the earliest signs of illness to triumphant recovery, Singer provides a mother's perspective on the devastating impact of OCD and the inspiring nature of her son's resilience and perseverence. Gillihan's expert voice on the science and treatment of OCD adds richness and depth to this unflinching narrative.

The personal and clinical perspectives on OCD are woven together to produce an intimate, informative and ultimately inspiring account of illness, love, and recovery. Instead, you respond just like you treat everything else: Stop trying to experience percent resolution of OCD. This is actually detrimental to your recovery process, unrealistic, and unnecessary. When we seek percent resolution, it makes us perfectionistic about our recovery.

It takes us away from being a human who naturally experiences suffering during this life. I want management of my symptoms, and the ability to live a full life where I passionately pursue my values. This process, in a twisted way, has been incredibly rewarding. I want to be reminded of my struggle from time to time, not all the time, okay, brain? Handle it just like you would any other OCD thought: Bring the thought along for the ride and keep going with your day.

If you could share just one piece of advice with others who have OCD, what would it be? Oh my goodness, friend, you are not alone and there is so much help available out there. We are so fortunate to have a treatment sequence that is proven to help—do you realize how many physical and mental health conditions have no gold standard treatment? We have study after study that demonstrates how effective ERP is. Do the hard work, and you will see growth. Keep your head up, even on your toughest days.

There are better days to come, but the key is resilience. This disorder beats you down day after day and it gets worse before it gets better. But I promise you were created for so much more than a life built upon fear, anxiety, obsessions, and compulsions. If you ever want to chat about anything I mentioned or to connect in general, please reach out to Alison and she can connect you to me.

She lives in Minneapolis. After struggling with compulsive hair pulling, or trichotillomania, for years, she finally learned she had a disorder—and once she knew how to help herself, she set out to help others. My favorite kind of person. As a kid, I was a hair twirler and thumb sucker. It was just soothing and comforting. I now understand, through actively taking the time to look back and analyze, that my hair-pulling disorder started after I moved to a new town and got worse after my dad fell sick with cancer.

The biggest effect trichotillomania had was on my own self-esteem. I was always nervous people would find out. I hid my pulling—mostly eyebrows and eyelashes—using makeup. But I always felt people could tell. I sort of went through the motions growing up. Numb from my hair pulling and the loss of my dad. Sure, I had friends—great friends—but still always felt very alone.

Obsessive compulsive disorder ocd

And I let myself give up on things I loved like going out for the basketball team or playing saxaphone because of my fear of being found out. How did you realize you had a more serious problem and not just a habit, and how did you go about getting help? Did you go through a period of being misunderstood and misdiagnosed? For most of us, we spent our early years not knowing that these compulsive pulling and picking behaviors were in fact mental health disorders. We hid in shame and fear of judgment because of the perception that these actions are choices. We felt alone in the battle.

This education and understanding is a huge hurdle that millions have yet to cross. But when they do it starts the true journey to recovery. In my twenties, I realized my hair pulling had become a serious problem.

It was affecting my life too much—mostly the physical manifestation fed my insecurities and my negative self-speak. That translated to actions that held my life back. After I took the time to understand the disorder, I still hid and met secretly with a psychologist and a hypnotist. Neither worked for me because neither understood the disorder because of lack of education.

I also joined an online Facebook support group and started using some of the strategies from there. She used cognitive-behavioral therapy CBT and other processes designed to help people with dermatillomania and trichotillomania. The thought process is different and therefore the treatments are different.

How did you tell your loved ones about your diagnosis? Did many already suspect your BFRBs had become an obstacle for you? Three years ago, as I was getting ready in the morning, my husband caught me without eyebrows. He asked me and in that moment I decided to stop lying and finally shared my mental health condition with the man who promised to love me in sickness and in health. I think the opposite, because sometimes friends would actually compliment my eyebrows—not knowing they were drawn on!

How can I help them understand? The best way to help people understand something foreign is to compare it to something familiar. Whether it is diabetes, cancer, or BFRBs, the body is doing something internally that we have no control over. I think when we can get others to understand, then we will be met with compassion instead of judgment. The unfortunate part is that we have to do the hard work of explaining and hope that others have open hearts and minds to take in the knowledge we are imparting.

How did you go from struggling with hair pulling to founding your own company, HabitAware, through which you help countless others with BFRBs? After I told him that I had trichotillomania we talked about it and he began noticing my behavior more. We formed a team at a Minneapolis hack-day event and when the prototype worked for me we kept working nights and weekends until we had better—and more—prototypes to test with other people. Keen is that thing I wished for that would notify me when I was pulling. Keen is a smart bracelet, or habit tracker, that uses customized gesture detection to bring awareness to an unwanted behavior.

Training Keen takes less than a minute with our mobile app. When Keen senses a mathematical match between an actual hand movement and the trained gesture, it vibrates. This vibration, in a sense, distracts, the brain. It shifts the behavior from the subconscious to the conscious mind. I am so thankful for this disorder because it led us to inventing Keen and to helping so many around the world find hope, peace, and a powerful tool to help overcome! We are in this together and if we want others to understand the pain of mental illness we need to share how are lives are affected.

We need to work together to end the stigma and fight for equality and access to mental health care. I believe hiding our disorders, because of fear of judgment, is holding us back from recovery. Our secrets are making us sicker. Dismiss them and keep sharing anyway.

It will help you release the burden. If you are hiding, please let it out! It can be writing in a journal, painting on a canvas, or talking to a friend or loved one. You never know whose life you can touch or how your sharing can cause a ripple effect! Compulsive hand-washing is perhaps the most widely known symptoms of OCD, and Payton performs this compulsion enough that his parents notice.

While no kid is lucky to have OCD, Payton is lucky that his compulsions were visible to his family and they were able to get him the right help. Payton has a head start! His parents have been concerned for a while, and when it gets to the point that Payton no longer enjoys his favorite activity, playing baseball with his best friend, they decide to take him to a psychiatrist.

Several strategies are noted, and medication is mentioned as a possibility as well. The book ends on a hopeful note, and while the overall message may not reflect reality for many with OCD as it takes an average of 14 to 17 years to get a proper diagnosis , it is positive: Payton is diagnosed early, his family is supportive, and he gets better, which is really the goal of spreading OCD awareness. I ran across her on Twitter and was instantly intrigued.

But she eventually came up with a brilliant solution: Read on for more about this creative advocate from across the pond! You struggled with compulsive skin picking for more than 20 years. Can you tell us more about compulsive skin picking? Compulsive skin picking CSP , also known as dermatillomania or excoriation, is a complex physical and mental disorder. For some, environmental factors influence the development of skin picking or hair pulling disorders; others have hereditary links where family members may pick. They are part of a family of disorders know as body-focused repetitive behaviors, which includes trichotillomania, the hair pulling disorder.

There is currently no cure, but a lot of important research into skin picking and hair pulling disorders is currently happening in the U. When did you realize what was actually going on? I suffered in silence for a very long time, probably 20 years or more, hiding the behavior every day.

I had no idea it was a disorder. I was 29 when I first had the courage to Google it. I would experience an urge to pick, but sometimes it was very unconscious. This could affect different parts of my body: That urge to pick could be overwhelming, and although the damage could be very severe with my skin raw and bleeding, the gratification to pick could cause me to carry out the behavior over and over again. It also developed into something I did subconsciously; some nights I would pick until the early hours of the morning. I would even pick in my sleep. I masked and covered the illness from those closest to me, wearing clothes that concealed the parts of my body covered in scabs and scars, and using make-up to mask it on my face.

The guilt, shame, embarrassment, and anxiety was terrible. Eventually I had no choice really but to try and help myself because it was destroying me. So what do you do with a disorder that is both a conscious urge and an unconscious behavior? I had always had a fascination for the body and performance, so I studied theater. During the MA in dance, I began exploring and studying my disorder. Over the course of two years I slowly began to make photographic artworks directly about how it felt to live with this disorder.

It has helped me recover and learn to come to terms with the illness. More recently, drawing has become one of the best ways of all to channel the disorder and transform it. One rather amazing technique that has worked for you is what you call compulsive charcoal—you make charcoal drawings to occupy your hands. How did it come about? I had CBT therapy during an episode of severe depression and chronic anxiety in with nearly a year off work.

My skin picking had returned very badly. It was during this time my CompulsiveCharcoal began by accident. A friend gave me a box of charcoal sticks as a present, and to stave off panic attacks and keep me focused during long commutes on the London Underground, I started drawing in sketchbooks.

I noticed how relaxed and focused it helped me be. It was during one of those trips I ran out of pages, so I picked up and graffitied a discarded copy of the Metro free newspaper that was on a seat beside me. I posted a photo of the drawing on Instagram, and it generated a lot of positive reactions. I draw on planes, trains, and buses. Whenever I am sedentary, skin picking is something my hands will do automatically, so to stop that from happening, I draw.

A film about my trip by Channel News Asia was viewed by , in the first 24 hours. What else have you done to draw more attention to these often misunderstood disorders? Much of this has been a happy accident. Much of it has evolved organically through the act of doing it. Because of the transformative experiences I have had with art, it is now a fully connected part of my life.

I teach art and drama to all ages. I work in hospitals, hospices, prisons, universities, and schools, approaching creativity as a hugely important tool to help others. Art is my greatest tool for recovery.

Someone told me recently the drawings I create even look very itchy, which seemed like a very appropriate way to describe them! They are very quick. Each one takes just one minute; the speed and energy of the mark-making is absolutely akin to the skin picking. It helps me refocus my hands and fingers, be really present in the moment, and transform the urge of skin picking into a different repetitive action. Acts of kindness and advocacy wherever I am.

I now speak out for mental illness, educating others and reducing stigma. Whenever I am asked, I try to say yes! That includes public talks, specialist commissions, residencies, and exhibitions. It was a moment where I felt able to tell the truth, and I found it very liberating. It also connects our experiences; I no longer feel alone in this disorder. I now speak out about this skin picking every day.

Many people chat to me on the tube; little conversations about mental health happen with strangers about my graffiti drawings. Every drawing was a moment of connection, of advocacy for mental health, and a chance to let others know I am drawing because of CSP and I now carry free postcards to explain the disorder. The reality is many of us are hardwired with this genetically. Knowing that has helped with self-acceptance; it has helped me come to terms with it a lot. Finding art, a personalized recovery tool, has been invaluable. It probably saved my life when I was at my lowest point with severe depression and chronic anxiety.

These are disorders in their own right, with very different characteristics, and the intention often starts with wanting to smooth or perfect the skin, not to cause a wound. If you could share just one piece of advice with others who struggle with compulsive skin picking, what would it be? Find your personal pattern—when do you pick, where, and how. For me bathroom routines and mirrors were tricky. These have been hugely helpful. Finding activities with repetition seem to really work for me; the disorder functions through touch, gaze, and movement, so finding other activities to engage hands and motion are useful!

At just 17 years old, Ryan Bernstein is shooting for the stars, working hard to spread awareness of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Read his inspirational story of grappling with symptoms, getting a diagnosis, and getting better. Thanks for being here, Ryan! When were you diagnosed, and how did you realize what you were going through might be OCD? During my pre-teens I saw different doctors but they just chalked up my symptoms to becoming a teen.

It took about 10 years to finally figure it out. I was recently diagnosed at age It was really difficult to experience so much anxiety and not understand why for such a long period of time. I was fortunate to go to a public high school that had some support systems in place, and when I was a freshman, I experienced a terrible panic attack. The social worker really helped me put a name to what I had been experiencing for so many years. I began seeing a therapist who specialized in OCD and anxiety and worked with him for about a year.

I also did a lot of research on my own to learn more about OCD. Did your parents recognize any symptoms of OCD, or did it come as a surprise to them? How did you tell them what was going on? My parents were very supportive but none of us knew why I was so anxious. I relied on my mom a lot and always shared with her what I was feeling.

Sometimes it was really difficult to find the words, though, because everything felt so awful. Once we had a diagnosis and learned more about OCD, the pieces fell into place. What my mom had seen as random acts, and what I had felt, now had a structure and made so much more sense. Did you talk to any friends about it? Do you have any advice for my readers who might not know how to broach the subject with their peers?

I felt very alone. I think that part of the problem with any mental illness is that you really look OK. In addition, there is a stigma associated with it so people tend to isolate. I thought I was the only person suffering with this problem. Initially I did not seek out my friends. I was worried about how I would be perceived in my peer group. I wish I had opened up because it would have taken away some of the pressure I was feeling. After that experience I began to realize that I could ask for help. At first it was difficult. I began to tell more of my friends about my anxiety and it felt good.

I realized that by being more open it helped me feel less afraid. In doing so, I met others who were also struggling. My advice is to not be afraid. Try to be as open and honest as you can with your friends. I know it is not easy. Find a time that works for both of you and have a one-on-one conversation with each of your friends.

I found that if I asked for support my friends were happy to give it. Of course, there are those who will tease, and bully, and although I have experienced that, and it is not pleasant, I believe that closing yourself off from support is worse than taking a risk and being honest. We are living in a time where diversity and disability is celebrated. I think that teachers and counselors need to learn more about OCD and respect that students are trying but it can be difficult for them. Sometimes all students need is to feel accepted and understood even if it might not make sense.

Expect some disorganization and forgetfulness- overwhelming anxiety can be distracting. Find the good and be compassionate. What do you consider the biggest misconception about OCD, and how can we help shed light on it? I think that the biggest misconception about OCD is that it is so narrowly defined as a hand washing, or perfectionist, or highly-organized-everything-in-its-place issue. I think that the best thing that we can do as a community is to educate.

Share your story to change the way people see OCD and by doing so you can inspire others to do the same. This is the very reason why I decided to write my book. An Anthology of Anxieties. What inspired you to start this project? I was inspired to write a book a few years ago when I was feeling really lost and alone. It would have been so helpful and empowering for me to read about others who were also struggling. Too often books are written about overcoming an illness.

People can answer four questions about their experience. I will then edit responses for clarity and put them in the book. My goal is to get at least responses. I am halfway there! I want to show how diverse as well as debilitating OCD can be, then maybe we can change the image of OCD, and the belief that mental illness only affects certain kinds of people. My book will contain three sections. If you could share just one piece of advice with others with OCD, what would it be?

It takes a lot of time, energy, and determination but you can do it. I remember thinking that I would never get better but I am now and I think the key was not being afraid to try. It is very frightening to face your fears, counterintuitive in fact, but take micro-steps and celebrate any success. Be willing to share, speak up, get the word out. Together we can educate our communities. It was upsetting and triggering but beautiful, too. Of course I did! However, you may find that you feel less alone because you can identify with the character.

But you give your thoughts too much power, Aza. Thoughts are only thoughts. They are not you. After years of struggling and mostly keeping her diagnosis to herself, Kate is ready to share her story. Thank you for being here, Kate! When were you diagnosed with OCD, and how long did you have symptoms before that diagnosis? I was diagnosed with OCD in my 30s approximately 12 years after I started having recognizable symptoms of the disorder. OCD is still misunderstood, and oftentimes people with OCD say they were surprised by their diagnosis because they thought it was all about excessive washing or checking, behaviors they never engaged in themselves.

What made you think you might have OCD? I remember sitting in my bed crying in my pillow because they just did not make sense yet I could not stop them from entering my mind.

Dr Christian R Komor

The earlier years of my OCD were marked with clear compulsions such as washing my hands until they bled and taking showers that lasted for at least an hour. Over the years, the compulsions shifted to more internal neutralizing of the thoughts and checking behaviors. Once you knew what was actually going on, did you tell loved ones right away? How did you decide who to tell, and how to tell them? I really kept my OCD to myself for most of my early adulthood. My college years and graduate school years were years that I really did not know what was going on. These years were marked with great sadness, confusion and isolation.

It was not until years later that I sought formal help for my OCD. I entered many various forms of therapy from outpatient to inpatient at McLean. To this day there are only a few people who really know what is going on with my disorder, primarily my husband along with all the therapists I have encountered along the way. You own a yoga studio, and practicing yoga has been an important component in the recovery process.

What is it about yoga that makes it so beneficial for our mental health in general, and OCD specifically? Yoga saved my life. I found yoga as a result of one of my earlier therapists recommending that I try it. After researching my city for yoga studios, I landed in a Hot Yoga class. From the moment I stepped on the yoga mat my life changed. Yoga was a place I felt at peace. Yoga was a place I could go inside of myself. Yoga was a time I could reflect on my life and begin to declutter from useless garbage that kept me weighted down physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

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Yoga was a release for me. It allowed me to take time to myself to create space and just be. The daily practice of yoga allowed me evolve as a human being and begin to separate myself from my thoughts. As you know, with OCD this can be a huge help in the process of recovery. Yoga also taught me how to be more comfortable in the uncomfortable. It trained me to stay in situations and work through them rather than running away from them. These tools have been invaluable to me as a person living with OCD.

How can I ease into it and experience the benefits? This is what I tell everyone who says the same thing. Yoga is not about looking perfect or even touching your toes. Yoga is SO much more than that! The first thing I would say to someone like you is just meet yourself where you are right now. Talk to qualified instructors and let them guide you into the class that would work best for you. There are many different kinds of yoga. Make sure you are educated on the different styles of yoga and what they entail and then choose which one resonates with your goals. Everyone can do yoga! That is the beautiful thing about it.

There is something for everyone! What else has helped you deal with OCD? I would say that connecting with others who have OCD has been most helpful for me. I have begun networking with other advocates in the OCD community to help spread awareness and share my story in hopes of helping others realize we are all in this together. Support and education are really important tools in getting the disorder under control. I have to say however that I do not like ERP.

I found that it made my anxiety spike doing the exposures and I had a really hard time understanding the role of ERP. My brain could not understand for a really long time why I would want to do something that I am scared to death of. I had a hard time separating the process with myself.

In my mind, I felt like if I did the exposures it meant that I either wanted to really do the bad thing or I was the bad thing. I had a really hard time separating them.

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I think if I was told this early on, it would have saved me a lot of time that I spent trying to figure it out on my own over the course of many more years. I have found writing to be very therapeutic for my OCD recovery. Sharing my thoughts with others, recognizing that I am not alone has been very meaningful for me.

You are going to be OK! There is no one out there like you. Talk to other people who have OCD. You are not alone. There are going to be good days and not so good days. Keep remembering its up to you what you want to do with your life. You can gain control over the OCD. Support and education go a very long way in recovery. Reach out to others like me and Alison who are here to help support you and cheer you on when you feel you cannot do it for yourself. You are a gift to this world. Never forget that you matter!

Please help me welcome Nathalie Maragoni! When she sent me the answers to my questions, she apologized for how long they are. See how well organized they are? When were you diagnosed with OCD? How did you realize you needed help, and know where to turn? I was officially diagnosed when I was 11, but my parents first started to notice symptoms when I was just four years old.

I learned about germs in preschool, and became terrified of them.

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