Portrait of Our Marriage

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I had watched an episode of, The Oprah Show, years ago. It was an episode dealing with pornography addiction. Told from the mans point of view, it covered what they were going through and how it affected their lives. I looked at the men and thought that they looked normal, clean cut, not like they would be perverts in any way. That night I had a dream. It was as if I was watching a movie, and a woman was reviewing her life as she viewed pictures on a digital display device.

After a while I began to think it must have some meaning. He commented, in not so many words, that sometimes God sends us messages in strange ways and we should listen to those messages. That he wants us to succeed and not give up. I received comments and reactions from both, people who are open to read and discuss the story and from those who have called me horrible names and are actually hostile about it.

Tell us a little about the history of the book. How did you have the inspiration for your story and your characters? After watching The Oprah Show and continuing to have dreams I began to research online about porn addiction. Back at that time, most everything I found on the internet was from, by, and for men.

Very little was from, by, or for women. I began writing it as a screenplay.

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At that time my youngest son was an actor and I had been reading scripts for years. So I thought I could write one. I found out it is not that easy. I could not write the story the way I wanted. So I decided to join a writing group. But then I needed to know how to get personal information about how this addiction affects women. I wanted to capture all the emotions of a couple going through this. Well, one day while shopping I noticed that either on purpose or by accident, people had left their real estate, and carpet cleaning business cards on some of the shelves.

Not having money for a research group, I decided to copy their idea but in a bit different manner. I typed up some notes asking if women had any experience with a loved one being addicted to pornography. I left my address and phone number on the notes. I received about sixteen letters. Out of all the input, eight were very in depth and when I read them I was drawn in and felt like I understood what they had gone through. At that point I felt I had what I needed. Between my dreams, research, and the personal information from 8 women, my story was born.

As I wrote, the characters in my story seemed to have a life of their own and I felt like I knew them. How much of the story was fixed before you started writing and how much changed during the process? So no, nothing was fixed, not even the ending. The dreams were fragments and the information shared by the eight women was very personal.

I wanted to make this story as real as possible in honor of them. Between the research on how men felt, what affect this addiction could have on women and a marriage, I tried to weave a story together that would take the reader through years of a marriage and the progression of this addiction.

I researched for a couple of years online. I went to all kinds of pornography addiction sites. From the professionals who offer help, recovery programs, religious groups who offer counseling, to all kinds of different columns where men wrote into for help. I also watched any show on TV that had any kind of episode dealing with porn addiction.

But I would say for the main character, the input from the eight women was the most important and naturally the woman in my dreams. Snow rated it it was amazing. What do you do when a relationship based on an intense love heads south and turns into a chaotic mess of mistrust and broken promises? These questions, and more, are the basis for Portrait of our Marriage. This well-crafted story traces the relationship of Nicky and Brett; two well-drawn characters seemingly well-suited for each other and a lifelong marriage and family.

However, when the issue of addiction enters the picture, in this case a porn addiction, additional tension and challenges mount. Portrait of our Marriage is written in a straightforward manner and the entire book exudes honesty and authenticity. Definitely a recommended read. Mar 02, Kara rated it it was amazing. Martha I think you did this subject well and with brutual honesty.

Apr 21, Jo rated it did not like it Shelves: For the first time, I think I feel bad about my rating - only because I'm thinking this wasn't If I ever read a book that screamed, "40 to 50 year old, divorcee mom," this is it. The writing wasn't bad; it was obvious the writer knew the mechanics and technicalities of writing The scenes and dialogue were so anti-climactic - For content to be so boring, it literally put me to sleep, there wasn't eve For the first time, I think I feel bad about my rating - only because I'm thinking this wasn't The scenes and dialogue were so anti-climactic - For content to be so boring, it literally put me to sleep, there wasn't even any value-added from any of it; all those chapters could have been easily omitted.

We know that being a wife and mother isn't always so glamorous but to put it in a book and call it a romance? I didn't get it. And why, for the love of romance novel gods, would anyone list this as erotica? I'm sad for those people. Lastly, the book ends on a kinda depressing note. A little too real-life if you ask me another reason I just don't think I'm the targeted reader for this book. This isn't a one-star rating with a passion.

It's just a simple, "I didn't like it.

Sep 02, Wendy Janes rated it really liked it. Nicky is looking back on her relationship with her husband, Brett. Their attraction for each other has always been strong, but over the years her trust in him has been eroded by his escalating addiction to pornography. Can her love for him endure? Their exotic wedding and the birth of their first child illustrate their happy days, but alo Nicky is looking back on her relationship with her husband, Brett. Their exotic wedding and the birth of their first child illustrate their happy days, but alongside these blissful events are isolated incidents that chip away at their marriage.

Even when his obsession starts to encroach on family life, you can see how much she wants to keep them together. There are mistakes and misunderstandings on both sides, and her attempts at coming to terms with his addiction over the years feel authentic, as do his attempts to try and pass his compulsion off as her problem. Also, the descriptions of sex, particularly in one memorable early scene, are spoiled for me by the euphemisms used.

A huge part of my enjoyment of this novel was not being able to tell whether this couple were going to stay together or not. The author kept me guessing right up to the end. Jul 12, Christoph Fischer rated it it was amazing. Like Nick, the narrator and many of her friends in the book I fell in love with the idea of that perfect and happy marriage, the man of her dreams: Like her I led myself to believe that it was her overreacting and would have given her exactly the kind of advice all the friends in the novel gave her.

This fictional memoir is particularly apt in its portrayal o "Portrait of Our Marriage" by Martha Emma was an unexpectedly emotional and gripping reading experience. This fictional memoir is particularly apt in its portrayal of the subtle changes and nuances of 'normal masturbation' to actual porn addiction. Written with raw honesty and often explicit detail this novel takes no prisoners and calls a spade a spade, particularly when letting the women of Nick's support group talk, scenes that do however work particularly well and let the readers sigh with relief in the same was as the women of said group.

The book dares to look at sexuality and marital relations with an honesty that many don't. It may be uncomfortable for some but I feel the direct approach is needed to discuss the problem with enough depth. I feel rather mesmerized by the experience of this book. The journey takes us from happily ever after to first minor issues, bigger shame, drama and conflict to all out facing of the truth where denial is only possible for the addict.

If you wonder what it might be like to live in such a marriage that started so promising and needs so much work this book is for you. Insightful, thought provoking and powerful this is a must read. Jul 22, Clahunte rated it did not like it. I've never given a one star rating before, but I have to here because this was literally one of the worst books I've ever read.

I chose it because it sounded like an interesting idea for a book and goodreads had rated it at a 4. Rare miss for goodreads, but man was it a big miss! The dialect is on about a 6th grade level, as is the author's understanding of writ I've never given a one star rating before, but I have to here because this was literally one of the worst books I've ever read. The dialect is on about a 6th grade level, as is the author's understanding of writing mechanics and punctuation, which is very distracting.

Speaking of distracting, the author's digression into countless undeveloped side stories also detracts hugely from the book. There is zero development of the characters - I felt absolutely no connection to any of them, and found them all to be obnoxious, unrealistic, irrelevant, or all of the above. The entire book was pretty obnoxious, unrealistic, and irrelevant, actually. When the main character tells her husband she wants a divorce, his reply is, "I am not happy about this. This book could have been so good, because the idea behind it is thought-provoking, but it reads like a pre-teen romance novel interspersed with some awkwardly graphic, cliche sex scenes.

I seriously just can't say enough bad things about this book. Sep 22, Sass Cadeaux rated it really liked it. This novel has it all. Steamy romance, budding relationship, growth, family values, life lessons and yes The plot was clear and concise. This story from beginning to end had me empathize with each and every character. This story takes you out of the norm and places you into forbidden territory. There is a reason why things happen behind clo This novel has it all. There is a reason why things happen behind closed doors, and why no one ever speaks of it.

Those secrets fused barriers into what most would call a blissful life, causing soul searching moments, forcing life decisions and breaching trust. It shows my rating as 4 stars, but what I really rate this story is 4. I wish Goodreads allowed us to give half stars. Possibly Goodreads will allow us the ability to post half stars in the near future.

Aug 13, Judy Churchill rated it liked it. This book is difficult to rate. I was ready to give up after the first quarter of the story. The writing was awkward and the story didn't seem to be going anywhere. After the main character met the man she would marry the pace of the story picked up. I do share the feeling of one reviewer that the author's description of their sex life approached pornography and perhaps it was to lay the foundation for what was to come.

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Emms got to the meat of the story I was mesmerized. She did a wonde This book is difficult to rate. She did a wonderful job of portraying Brett's pornography addiction. I don't know that I've read a better portrayal of the disorder. The author shows how it is progressive, isolating, and soon takes over Brett's ability to have a satisfying sex life with his wife, and ultimately costs him his marriage.

Nicky, his wife, struggles with her own humiliation and loss of self esteem. It is worth a read. Nov 03, Stevie Turner rated it really liked it Shelves: I can empathise well with the writer. I too have written a book in a similar vein, finding it very therapeutic, and wonder if Martha like myself has based her novel partly on personal experience?

Martha, if you're out there in the ether, give us a shout! View all 3 comments. Dec 05, Tara Niland rated it did not like it. A disappointing read I must say. May 30, Suzanne Solow rated it did not like it. Brett is addicted to porn and is unable to brew a pot of coffee. May 18, Delinda McCann rated it it was amazing.

What a bittersweet story of love and addiction. Nicky and Brett were the perfect couple. They were popular in the neighborhood and had some close friends to go camping and skiing with. They loved to snow ski. In fact they met on the ski slope where Brett was a member of the ski patrol and Nicki skied into him. Martha Emms tells this story beautifully from the moment the couple first met and how they came to fall in love.

Nicky was from a repressive background and trying to learn how to live a fu What a bittersweet story of love and addiction. Nicky was from a repressive background and trying to learn how to live a full adventuresome life. Brett, an engineer, was perfect for her. He possessed a fearless love for adventure and supported her as she overcame her fears. She tells of the creeping isolation, and her efforts to seek help. I found myself rooting for Brett each time he told Nicky that he would change.

I applauded his efforts to reach out to his wife and family while still in the grips of something stronger than himself. Emms tells the story almost like a mystery leaving the reader trying to guess what will happen next. Will the loving husband defeat his addiction? The big thing I learned from the story is to never judge others. I recommend this book, especially for those who may be living in relationship where addiction is destroying a loved one.

Portrait of Our Marriage

May 22, Summer rated it it was amazing. Mightier Than the Sword. A House in the Sky. The Girl With No Name. The Girl With No Past. Between You and Me: Instructions for a Heatwave. How to write a great review.

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