Guide My Affair with God, His Affair with Divorce

Contents:

Editor's Picks

You will come out the other end as the best version of yourself. I am anxious to hear if my very much mirrored frequent feelings you described ever improved with time for you? I sure hope they did not only for your marriage but for your ease of pain and HOPE mine can someday too bc I am 3 yrs post DDay and improvement doesnt seem possible considering history. Did it get better? I feel almost exactly everything you wrote about your wife about my husband who had an affair.

I'm almost 2 years out from DDay and thought I'd be past it by now, but I feel like it's getting worse and not better. I wondered how it ended for you. My biggest challenge, after 21 years, was realizing I was enough. I was SO co-dependent. I was his wife, my kids mom, but never myself. But I found an amazing christian counselor that helped me onto the road to recovery. It hasn't been easy. Finding the strength and courage to move on was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to endure.

But it was important to me to do it right and to be able to be a good role model for my 2 girls.

I still have my moments, it's called being human. But I have tools that help me overcome. I'm looking forward to the day when the triggers are less and less and I can embrace the Hope of tomorrow. Blessings to all of you going through this. Rely on your faith and trust God's plan. Trust that you will be happy again. Blessings also to this ministry. It has gotten me through many a dark moment. My situation is ending in divorce. I so want to be where you are and to be able to identify myself as just ME Not just his wife or mother to his kids. I want my husband back and it kills me.

But I am ready to let go of the pain and the triggers that are literally driving me crazy. Thank you for your comment that there is hope for the future. I, too, am a betrayed wife, and my situation is also ending in divorce. I am participating in a divorce recovery group, as well as seeing a Christian counselor, and it is helping immensely. We will make it, and we will be well, whole, and healthy, beth!

My biggest challenge has been having my ex and affair partner clode by and her continued flaunting of their relationship thru publically posting Facebook albums of their times together before and during and after our divorce. I feel like I am finally able to open up again with other potential partners, but the triggers still traumatize me, cell phones being a big one! I feel I am coming back to life slowly but surely and praying God restores my youth which he miraculously has in terms of my innocence being restored and my physically and emotionally well-being.

All my stress related health issues are finally gone!!! There seems to be no bigger challenge than another. Besides the 5 points you mentioned above I found myself facing the challenge of being an empty nester, so loneliness is a huge challenge add factors 1,2and 4 while looking through that negative lens and I'm pretty sure i'm one day away for becoming a cat lady. Some days are an hourly struggle because somehow I have become very isolated and have or trust absolutely no one other than my spouse yes the one who betrayed me with my most inner thoughts and fears so it is a sicking circle of no progress one step forward one step back.

But there are good days the sun shines and I am slowly finding the person I am to become on the other side of this mess. Realizing that my husband of over 20 years was having an affair with a co worker, was devastating to me. But I am much stronger now. I went no contact, hired the best attorney I could find and gained strength and peace. I realize that it had nothing to do with the other younger woman.

She is nothing special, she was just available. He disrespected me and his son in any way possible, and he has lost us for ever. Glad I got rid of him. I was just reading through these posts and found yours. How are you now ten months later? Your story is exactly like mine.

It all crashed a month ago. How did you find the strength to go no contact? My wife of 14 years moved out this June. Discovered her affairs 3. They had been going on for about 6 months prior to that. I've spent those years doing everything imaginable to restore our marriage, lead her back, and find a place of reconciliation. Her consistent response has been "I'm changing. She isn't unhappy or unsatisfied, but still wants her freedom to have sex with whomever she wants. I've been through every option, and it came down to two: We decided in February to start the process of disentangling our finances and once the kids were out of school, she moved out.

We're co-parenting our two daughters, and thankfully have a wonderful support system of family who are local to us. We're still very friendly to each other. We never had a toxic relationship - she doesn't want monogamy, and I do. That makes us incompatible in marriage. I have experienced all of the doubts discussed in this article. Will I ever be able to trust anyone again? Have the events of the past few years warped the way I perceive sex?

I'm a very introspective person who's constantly seeking out ways to improve myself. For the first time in my life, I don't think I can do this without 3rd party assistance. Finding serious resources for "help: It's not really something you can discuss with your parents. Even your friends are more likely to say "what are you complaining about" than they are to show sympathy.

I've been thrilled to find Affair Recovery. Thank you for the resources, and helping me understand that I'm not alone in this. Just wanted to see how things were for you several months after you posted this. What's the relationship between you and your ex like now? Praying for you brother. Triggers is the only one on the list which applies to me.

I have good self esteem although it took a beating when I found out about the affair and that he loved her. I knew instinctively that I would come out of this OK but it would take time working through the emotional turmoil. The first year after the separation was the worse, living without his input, managing everything a single mother manages, but when I survived financially and gave myself and children a holiday that year, I knew I was going to make it.

Now I have had the divorce papers served on me and the memories of his betrayal has returned. Luckily I don't have to do anything, so it should go through without me needing to be involved. My ex husband and I were married for 10 years, 7 of which he cheated on my with my parents best friends wife who happened to work with all of us in our family business.

She was at the birth of both my children. After my divorce I told myself that it is what it is and killed everyone involved with kindness so that I could move on. Its been 12 years now and I have been in a relationship for the last 6 years and I am slowly destroying it without even trying.

Recently On Divorce and Remarriage

I really thought I had moved past what had happened in my past however my issues with trust seem to get worse and worse. I am so glad I found this site as apparently I need to work on some things!!! How do I move passed his deceit and betrayal. Instead I lived with a narcissist and found pictures of him nude on websites. He threw me away after 6 years of marriage And begging me not to divorce him. We divorced May How do I move forward.

I feel so so useless. Finding photos of him and having him deny - it's gas-lighting and it's abusive. It has you doubt yourself to the core. It's just selfish self-preservation on their part. I'm so sorry this happened to you and that it continues. Thank you for sharing this article. I am the UW and this has opened my eyes to what I have done to my husband. This one really has hit home as to where I am at and have been.

It's been 25 years since D-Day. I chose for the sake of my children to have a two parent home.. I am certainly glad I stayed, believe it to be the right choice.

RL_Category:

Guarding Your Heart in Marriage · Divorce Begins With Deception; An Affair: the wrong person or that God put someone new in his/her life, the idea of divorce . Others are shining testimonies of how God has cared for them, carried them The first Sunday after the revelation of my husband's affair, the sermon was Instead, he begs us to lay it all at his feet and let him handle it.

My husband was defined as a 'sex addict' There is a great mistrust that is still present; about 8 years ago he 'relapsed' with choices to have close lady friendships Whether something physically happened or not I think the correct terminology for what he did is emotional infidelity Trust is not the foundation of our relationship The explosion of infidelity was so deep. The second round of his poor choices have left me believing that the trust can never be there. I just hold on to the vow I made I would literally be living in government subsidized housing if I was to leave I have medical issues and then mental issues that have come from the infidelity; and I am unable to work a full time job.

We've been married 35 years and I just pray that God would still give me the kind of love that I need to have towards him. After receiving more counseling and seeing a psychiatrist, which also, diagnosed me with PTSD. I have been on medication for this, and pretty much resent it.

What I Learned about Myself after My Husband’s Affair

My husband doesn't like me taking the type of med's that I take, but, it is the only peace of mind that I have been able to get. Even that conveys a message to me that he will most likely never understand the depth of what infidelity does and can do to another person. He thinks it's like: It's been described that with PTSD the chemicals in your brain have been altered. I have not been through Haboring Hope and not even sure that I would be able emotionally to go through it I perceive the emotional triggers would be to great. Thank you for sharing another great article!!

The board has been quiet lately.

Gedenkstätten: Kriegerdenkmal, Soldatenfriedhof, Museum und Dokumentationszentrum (German Edition).
Food, Cuisine and Cultural Competency for Culinary, Hospitality and Nutrition Professionals.
What I Learned about Myself after My Husband’s Affair - Divorce and Remarriage Help!
The Honey Way. Miodal and the Swan (A Children Picture Book about a Teddy Bear - Travels and Adventures - Perfect for Bedtime and Beginning Readers).

Are you in the ministry? If so, you need to step down immediately. If you are a Christian, God will forgive your adultery, but you have permanently disqualified yourself from leading others. As for the affair, it was never in God's will and what's birthed in sin is not a blessing. No, God won't bless your mess. You see your wife as well as the other woman at the same time, that is messed up big time. If you really repented you wouldn't want a divorce from your wife, but have gotten rid of the other woman.

You have got to be kidding. Let me restate that. You don't say who the, "our" is when you write about the relationship. If you are talking about staying with your wife, and are sincere about repenting, than "yes" He will forgive you. If you are just using the term, "repenting" as a "crutch" to make yourself feel better about leaving your wife, than I stick by my origianal statement.

God will not "bless" any form of adultery. Just what DID Jesus say about "adult sonship"? What I remember him saying was that we must be like little children, not adults: Sybil, we have no idea if these are your inner voices crying for attention or if any of these wild, outerlimit tales are even true. Keep telling yourself that, Marty Strongaxe.

Corruption in a marriage or political arena. Do you not know what Jesus Christ says about what prevents a person from adult Sonship? Some will never enter in. Some are not able to endure the revelation of their own heart. When the heart is deceitfully wicked, some want to believe that they are wonderfully pure.

There is that point that some reach, that they are unable to look at the wickedness of their own heart and only want to believe good about themselves. Jesus said it would be difficult for some to see the wickedness of the heart and that repentance would be the only way to have the mind of Christ. It takes great humility to see the ugliness within. It's not God's will to serve you in sin. God will not bless your affair or any other wickedness. Are you looking for people to sympathize with you or are you trying to justify yourself from what you know it is sin.

Do you think God is like a sponge that you sin deliberately and after wards let him cleans you. Marty you asked a most telling question, "Don't I deserve to be happy? God - I will give you joy. Happiness an emotion, joy a way of life.

Dogs: Mans Best Friend.
Granite Grumblings: Life in the Live Free or Die State.
How to Overcome an Affair.
The Infidelity Divorce Syndrome: Divorce Recovery After Infidelity.
How to Overcome an Affair - Divorce and Remarriage Help?
The Infidelity Divorce Syndrome: Divorce Recovery After Infidelity | Affair Recovery.
We are sorry we do not support this browser.!

Seek joy, repent, you both have sinned. Seek each other's repentence with God, get some good therapy, marriage is work, so work at it. How do you expect God to Bless your Marriage when one of the Laws of God strictly states thou shall not commit adultry. If you can find any verses where he DID, I would be happy to hear them, and acknowledge that I was wrong all along. Marriage is marriage, but mandatory monogyny or mandatory polygyny are definately unscriptural. Your sin was in leaving your original wife. No, you should not be divorcing her under any circumstances.

If you do, you would be ineligible to marry another woman in the future. Just keep telling yourself that. I'll stay with Scripture. God did not ever tell King Solomon that polygamy was acceptable. It was a large part of his downfall. Yes, it is true that Solomon ultimately backslid - but that was due to his OWN mistakes. Moses's best years were in the desert - where he was because of murder. God does not redeem sin, instead he recompenses wickedness to the wicked, and he only redeems those who turn to him.

Is it G-d's nature to bless sin? If you are stilling living in sin, how can G-d by his nature bless you? He can show you mercy, if you turn to Him with a repentant heart. A repentant heart is one that stops sinning and runs back to G-d. Remember, repentance is an action not an emtion. This is not a game of checkers. If you were a mouse I'd say 'you have no soul' but you are a man.

Solomon had supreme wisdom, but lacked the character necessary to live up to Gods ways. The misuse of his wealth and lack of character led to his downfall. Marty Strongaxe, read the outcome once again. Notwithstanding in thy days I will not do it for David thy fathers sake: Howbeit I will not rend away all the kingdom, but will give one tribe to thy son for David my servants sake, and for Jerusalems sake which I have chosen. And God stirred him up another adversary, Rezon the son of Eliadah, which fled from his lord Hadadezer king of Zobah.

And Jeroboam the son of Nebat, an Ephrathite of Zereda, Solomons servant, whose mothers name was Zeruah, a widow woman, even he lifted up his hand against the king 1 Kings Solomons failure led to the permanent break-up of the nation. From that time on the history of both houses was one of backsliding. Both eventually went into national captivity and were removed from the land. Some of the Jews eventually returned, but not the house of Israel. These people lost their national identity and vanished from sight.

Solomon turned from God toward the end of his life. God manifested Himself to Solomon on more than one occasion. God directly worked with him, and he knew it. Like his father David, Solomon was very much aware of Gods dealings and power. If there was ever a man who should have looked to God and trusted him his entire life, it was Solomon. And if there was ever a man who failed in this, it was Solomon. Solomon paid no heed to God's warnings. His wealth led to extravagance and corruption, and downfall.

Solomon - seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, his wives turned away his heart. Idolatry - when Solomon was old, his wives turned away his heart after other gods: Solomon became an idolater. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites.

Then did Solomon build an high place for Chemosh, the abomination of Moab, and for Molech, the abomination of the children of Ammon. And likewise did he for all his strange wives, which burnt incense and sacrificed unto their gods.

God carried out his promise to punish Solomon for his sins. Wherefore the LORD said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant.

Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house, because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

For thou didst it secretly: The most powerful king that Israel had ever known That would be the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Alpha and Omega, Cornerstone and Foundation of all wisdom. Yes, David committed murder, and lost his child as a result of it - truly horrible circumstances.

So God can redeem even the most horrible of circumstances. David lost his child because of it. Sarcasm doesn't even deserve a dishonorable mention. Hey, it worked for David and Bathsheba Marriage is a covenant between three beings you your wife and God. Biblically a covenant was never broken, only by death. If God broke his covenant with us we would all be dead now. He made a covenant with the world as a sign of a rainbow to know he would never destroy man again.

If you break yours which you have what good was your covenant? How would you punish someone who has broken a covenant? Which happened first, your affair or hers? Marty, is it possible that you have hurt your wife? I remember a time in my marriage when I believed my husband was the one hurting me emotionally. Granted, we both fought alot. We both hurt eachother but because of my past, I saw myself as the victim and rarely saw my part in the fights. Marty, find your way back to your wife. Find out what is hurting her. Draw close to God together. God wants you to be happy. But this other woman is not the answer.

Also, you are helping this woman to sin. You have got to be making this up. You do not even know God, futhermore you are a blasphmer. Please don't tempt us few trues out here. Furthermore, you are tempting God. You are testing God. I think you have not truly understood the real biblical meaning of true repentance.

It is not to be taken lightly. When you have truly repented, you will know whether God will bless your relationship or not. Let us know by then. Mike, that is a good point that you made.