Myths of the Fatherless

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Present without presence

Looking to the young men themselves, the social problems they face are often reduced to gender just to make them easier for the public to understand. Fathers and other male role models certainly do play an important part in helping young men to flourish, but women and men in other mentoring positions can provide the care, trust and support that young men might need. Research has previously found that fatherhood can have as much of an effect on the health of men — particularly young men — as it does on women.

While we are finding that fatherhood matters to young men and they do desire to be there for their children, they are often considered more of a risk by professionals — through severe material disadvantage or criminality — to themselves or their children. Young dads with extensive support needs require practical help with education, training, employment, housing and finance, and so are often overlooked as capable carers — simply because they are not recognised as being as caring as women.

If support services were more father inclusive and attentive to the diverse needs of fathers from all walks of life, this could help them more effectively to be involved in raising their children. Fathers still need support, but they cannot be blamed for all the problems their children may face. The way we talk about and address modern families needs to change too.

Myths of the Fatherless

Rather than stigmatising those who do not live as a nuclear family, we would be better off supporting and including them in our changing society. Pets in Victorian paintings — Egham, Surrey. The history of pets and family life — Egham, Surrey. Available editions United Kingdom. None of that is the problem. All of that is just too bad.

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Life is tough all over. Lots of people have got lots of problems. No, instead we've heard that the welfare benefits in Baltimore are " too lucrative ," because when you give people nothing they somehow get more, somewhere. That businesses won't invest in these neighborhoods until something is done about those darn teachers unions. That it's because of " too many gay marriages.

And, of course, when all else fails, blame Obama. That too many black fathers have abandoned their children, allowing them to be raised by the streets like feral cats. They don't learn morals, and they don't learn values—so naturally police have to shoot them down like rabid, foaming dogs. Even when they're unarmed. Even when they have their backs turned and are simply running away. It's all just their own fault really.

If only black fathers would spend as much time and energy on their kids as white fathers do. Well, someone—the Centers for Disease Control—actually went to trouble of checking just how involved in their lives all fathers are, whether or not they are married to the mother of their children or live with them. What they found was that, in reality, black fathers are actually more attentive to their children than other fathers generally are. So, of course, parents should be involved in the lives of their children.

Of course they should help guide them, give them a sense of morality, goals and direction.

But that doesn't require that the father necessarily be married to the mother. People like Donald Trump have certainly made that obvious. The nuclear family myth has long ago been blown into small dust-like bits. Many of us live in extended and blended house-holds within which we've all learned to adapt, and function and even thrive.

Fathers matter

Perhaps it's time we stopped flogging the simplistic notion that all that truly plagues the black community is a lack of weddings. If you are sure that this product is in violation of acceptable content as defined in the agreement or that it does not meet our guidelines for General Access, please fill out the form below.

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Fatherlessness is one of the greatest social problems in Canada

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