Contents:
If I ask to read their texts, she says that I don't respect her privacy. Look, I strive to be unbiased, but there comes a point when behaviour becomes conspicuously shady. And the dialogues above would seem to fit onto that shelf. Yet you might be surprised how many people don't -- or won't -- trust their gut and accept the strong possibility that their spouse and their texting buddy are more than "just friends.
Maybe it's just about living in denial. The truth is, many opposite-sex friendships are sustained because of a simmering attraction between two people. Or maybe it's about falling for all the manipulations and insults that a committed person will use so that they can continue to indulge in a "friendship" that they know is inappropriate and disrespectful to their primary relationship. If circumstances were different, they could easily be sexual partners. And they know it. This underlying current of attraction makes talking, texting and spending time together as "just friends" all the more exciting.
It has an erotic edge to it. Of course, it's only a matter of time until a person's spouse begins to notice this increasingly intimate friendship and get worried. They may ask "Who are you texting? And that's when it starts. The defensiveness, downplaying and deflections. The insults and indignation. Too often, a committed person who knows that an extra-marital friendship is inappropriate will deny, deny, deny that it is.
Instead of respecting their partner's feelings and addressing their concerns, instead of quickly and clearly putting their primary relationship first, they'll do everything they can to ensure their "friendship" continues. Unfortunately, this often involves turning the tables so that their partner's behaviour looks problematic, not their own. To do this, they may employ any number of "drop it" tactics. This person will act like their human rights are being violated when their spouse asks them to distance themselves from their opposite-sex "friend.
I didn't do anything wrong! Any professional who works with couples will tell you that the vast majority of affairs begin as opposite-sex friendships. They'll cruelly dismiss their partner's concerns: Another tactic is to basically shame their partner into silence. We all know how public shaming is used nowadays: Well, this happens in intimate relationships, too.
That's why this tactic works. Nobody wants to be "that wife" or "that husband.
Now all of this begs the question: Sure, it's definitely possible. Some people are like that. This book is absolutely amazing and I highly recommend it for ALL relationships, whether someone has been unfaithful or not. I have been married for almost 6 years and recently found out that my wife has been unfaithful for the past year of our marriage.
It felt like somebody literally pulled a rug out from under me and I hit the floor with a thud. All of my friends of course said I should pack up my stuff and leave. Friends and family may mean well, but most of them don't have the slightest clue on what to do when it comes to relationships. I bought this book and one other in search of answers and guidance. The book really opened my eyes to what all is involved when an affair happens, and it also shows that affairs can happen in good marriages if safeguards are not followed to protect the marriage.
My attention was immediately hooked after the first quiz in the book which was created to let people know if the person they say is "just a friend" really is just that. I can honestly say after reading this book I have realized that even though I never physically cheated on my wife, I came close to having an emotional affair at one point. What I also liked about this book is that most books that deal with affairs always seem to be focused around the husband being the cheater.
The author shared not only about female infidelity, but also research that backed up the different reasons for why males and females cheat. The book wants you to ask the question "Is your spouse genuinely a dishonest person, or were they dishonest because of the affair? Only discuss problems with someone of the opposite sex if they are a "FRIEND of the marriage" and wants to see your marriage work. The author also provides an excellent strategy using "walls and windows" and the best ways to protect your marriage.
This book not only saved my marriage but also saved my sanity as well. If you have been cheated this book with help you feel your thoughts are not off the wall. I felt alone, unattractive, part to blame, untrusting. Guess what , these are all normal feelings.
This book along with seeing a therapist is helping learn to pick up the pieces. If you are going though this horrible betrayal, I hope you heal soon. This has helped me a lot. Any time I was struggling and in a bad place, reading this and understanding his side of it somehow helped calm me down. I would definitely recommend this to people trying to recover and fix their marriage after infidelity.
I think this book was helpful and maybe made me see people that are happy and love their significant other can still end up in these situations. The whole situation was very and still is shocking and traumatic for me where I thought my whole world was a sham. We both read it after the first affair was discovered. I am about to have us both reread it, as I think there were some exercises that I know I didn't go back and do. I wish everyone would read this book single or married because I think a major problem in our society right now is that people don't understand the boundaries or risks, especially with work relationships and people of the opposite sex or any people you could be attracted to.
This one book takes you through all the stages of infidelity. The examples give many opportunities to associate with one or more couples and their issues that were discussed. The reader can understand the points of view of the other two people in the triangle much better as well as affirming our own emotions after reading this book.
Thanks for helping me in a very difficult and dark time in my marriage. Discovering that my wife was cheating on me has been the most excruciating mental pain that I've ever been thru. Out of several books that I've read on the subject of surviving an affair, I found this one to be the most helpful. Saying I love this book is a little misleading.
The subject matter is very hard to "love". However, this book is helping me recover from my wife's indiscretion.
This book has helped me realize that we are not unique and we can get better. I highly suggest getting this book if there's been any straying in your marriage and you want to stay together. Reading through this and sharing with your partner can be very cathartic and will help you work through the pain.
Meu perfil Enviar letra Mensagens Editar Sair. Read reviews that mention highly recommend opposite sex must read recommend this book helped me to understand shirley glass reading this book affair partner emotional affair extremely helpful best book book helped betrayed partner read this book someone else well written married couples emotional affairs eye opening healing process. There's a lot you can do to regain control in a good way! Marriages can be fragile things. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage. Amazon Renewed Refurbished products with a warranty.
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