You Lost Me Discussion Guide: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church . . . and Rethinking Faith

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Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. You Lost Me Discussion Guide: Close to 60 percent of young Christians who went to church as teens drop out after high school.

In "You Lost Me," the bestselling coauthor of "unChristian" trained his researcher's eye on Christians aged , exposing why they leave the church and rethink their faith. Now small groups can study this groundbreaking book with a new DVD and discussion guide. This DVD and di Close to 60 percent of young Christians who went to church as teens drop out after high school. This DVD and discussion guide will inform, equip, and empower groups and churches to understand the unique challenges that are affecting younger Christians. It's not eough for us to know that they are dropping out and rethinking their faith; this video study and discussion guide provides key insights and practical ways that we can actively enage this generation with thoughtful conversation.

Paperback , pages. Published November 1st by Baker Books first published October 1st To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia.

'You Lost Me': Young Christians Rethink Faith : NPR

Feb 26, Kevin rated it liked it. The survey questions at the beginning of each session are hit or miss, as are the discussion questions for the most part. Overall, its not a bad discussion guide if you use it alongside the book its based on--I wouldn't recommend using this without using the book as a primary source for discussion and debate. Tatyana rated it it was amazing Sep 02, Kris Langgaard rated it liked it Aug 23, Mathew Angelly rated it it was amazing Mar 01, Jeff Werkheiser rated it it was amazing Oct 17, David Carment rated it it was amazing Dec 25, David Keuhl rated it liked it Jul 06, Brian rated it liked it Jun 09, Amy rated it it was amazing Mar 06, David Becker rated it it was ok Nov 24, Chip Borgstadt rated it really liked it Oct 01, Mechelle Myers rated it it was amazing May 07, Andres rated it it was amazing Jun 14, Segun R rated it really liked it May 06, What we really boil it down to - you know, each person that we interviewed had very specific experiences and challenges and the church was, in some way, inadequate in their mind to that.

And yet, when we looked at it from a broad perspective, the way I would conclude this is that we're living in a more complicated age, more complicated questions about marriage and the diversity of this generation, the technology used in social media.

And, in a nutshell, what we learned is that churches aren't really giving them an answer to these complicated questions that they're facing, these lifestyle issues and challenges that they're facing. And it's not really a deep or thoughtful or challenging response that most churches are providing to them.

And are you finding this phenomenon across what people consider liberal and conservative churches or do you find it concentrated in one side or the other? Well, one of the surprises for me was I figured that we would see some differences between young Catholics, for instance, and young Protestants and young mainline versus young evangelicals.

You Lost Me Discussion Guide: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church . . . and Rethinking Faith

But I think the overriding theme was that this generation, in so many ways, is post-institutional, regardless of their traditions. So many similarities in their reasons and their reactions to the church and to Christianity. Some of the things that were different was I think many churches that deal well with complexity didn't give a sufficient amount of conviction or commitment required of the young people that they work with.

And then, conversely, those that had a strong degree of commitment and sort of emotional connection with the church didn't deal well with the complexity. So it was sort of a double-edged sword for many of these churches.

Well, give me an example. Can you just kind of describe one of those conversations that captured this for us? Well, I think one of them is a conversation that we had. I mean, I have talked to a young person, Colleen ph , who was asking her youth pastor whether she should sell her eggs for college. And this is, you know, right at the center of the complexity of today's ties because they have instant access to any kind of information available about any kind of thing, you know, theology, religion, faith, human sexuality, reproduction choices, college, education.

They have these huge aspirations to make a difference in the world, to be educated. He said, you know, I don't think there's one Christian response to that. But he walked her through a process of trying to say, you know, is it necessary for you to go to college? And, if so, let's find a way that the church can support you in getting that education.

Well, what's wrong with that, though? I mean, that seems like a loving and both intelligent and affirming response.

See a Problem?

It's a great response. The big challenge is that most pastors, most families in churches - they're not prepared for those kinds of questions. I think this young youth pastor did a great job, but I think a lot of questions, as we learn from our research - they're not being asked. In fact, one of the major reasons young people said that they were leaving churches was that they felt like they couldn't ask their most pressing life questions in church.

So we heard the question from Colleen, but many of these young people feel like they're so disconnected. They're so entirely disparate worlds, they can't really ask these pressing life questions in church. Do you have some specific suggestions for faith leaders who are seeing this in their own congregations and want to address it?

Reward Yourself

I mean, first of all, every congregation is different and I think there needs to be very customized and thoughtful and deep responses to that. We don't want a one size fits all response, but one of the things I thought was a great concept that we uncovered through the research was this reverse mentoring idea. This generation has the ability to help an older generation, an established generation.

Many of these traditionalist churches deal effectively with issues of science and social media and gender roles and yet, at the same time, these young people need the input and wisdom of today's older generation. And what's so beautiful about this next generation is they actually really want the wisdom of today's grandparents and elders and they're facing huge questions, as every generation does, but they're very open to the input of older adults and the wisdom that they could offer.

Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church . . . and Rethinking Faith

So this idea of reverse mentoring - we need young people to help enliven and invigorate our congregations and we also need older adults to give good life coaching in the midst of these very different and complicated times that young people are facing. David Kinnamen is the author of the book, "You Lost Me: Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future.

Accuracy and availability may vary. Accessibility links Skip to main content Keyboard shortcuts for audio player. Young Christians Rethink Faith Nationwide, many somethings are leaving their churches behind.

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