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But reindeer fly, so how did they run her over? This song brings up a whole bunch of logistical questions. This song, by the way, after studying this last phrase, fits perfectly into Christmas because of the Christian value of if you don't believe in Jesus, you can go and rot in hell. Grandma didn't believe in Santa Claus, so if she dies, nobody cares. So, it was a murder. This song is about a murder. This song is about the most kind, benevolent fictional character of all time that spends his entire life making and delivering toys to children taking time out of his schedule to murder an old woman who isn't even part of his target audience.
So grandpa's just fine with this, apparently.
He's taking the death of the woman he just spent his entire life building a family with so well that he just goes back to watching football and playing cards? The concept of Santa Claus moonlighting as an assassin for hire is not only terrifying because of his supernatural powers of light speed and work ethic, but because he can see us when we're sleeping, and we're awake.
He's like a fat, bearded, murderous God, ready to kill us all if we stop believing in him.
You better watch out! Come on and hold my hips a little longer As we do the Christmas conga Bonga, bonga, bonga.
Watch Cyndi Lauper's song on youtube. A lot of country duets could have made the top five but Kenny Rogers gets the nod, not least for being a white-beardy Father Christmas lookalike. Wynona Judd must share responsibility for this offering, which reached No55 on the billboard list in The lyrics are by Mark Lowry, and were written at the request of his pastor. Watch Kenny Rogers's song on youtube.
A British duo scrapes into the final five. Need some Christmas cheer?
Well, here's a sample of lyrics going cheap in a lockup somewhere in London:. I've got a lovely furry coat I could tell 'Er it's mink.
No, she'll suss it's skunk It don't half pen and ink. Watch Minder duo on youtube. In Pictures - the story of love and romance: Compiled by Martin Chilton. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation. In the years before The X Factor took a stranglehold on the Christmas number one, Simon Cowell didn't always time it right.
The second series of Pop Idol in ran over into early , meaning there wouldn't be a winner's single at the top for Christmas. Instead, all the forgettable finalists teamed up to cover John Lennon's peace anthem, with obviously terrible results. The most depressing Christmas song of all time comes courtesy of this bizarre album track from John Denver in Christina Aguilera has an amazing voice, without doubt. But like many top singers, she can't help but turn a beautiful melody into a dreadful warbling noise.
An outright strange song by Christian country group NewSong, here. The music video alone is a sight to behold. If you can't bare to listen to it we don't blame you , the song recounts the events experienced by a man finishing the last of his gift-shopping on Christmas Eve. He is waiting in the checkout line behind a young boy who wants to buy a pair of shoes for his terminally-ill mother.
She will die soon and he wants her to appear nice before Jesus. However, he is short on money and the singer pays for the shoes, reminding him of the true meaning of Christmas. We're still hoping for a full album of 'actual' Christmas songs from Gaga one day, because this is bordering on diabolical. Can you imagine listening to the entirety of 'Merry, Merry Christmas' every single December? We'll hand it to them, at least the majority of the album was original songs they wrote themselves. If that counts as a good thing.
However, he is short on money and the singer pays for the shoes, reminding him of the true meaning of Christmas. Compiled by Martin Chilton. If your true love is sending you a total of 23 birds, 49 people, and 5 golden rings you may want to consider finding a new true love because this one is involved in black market dealings or is one of those brash, irresponsible billionaires who'll most likely get you killed by the end of the year. We bet you forgot it even happened. The most depressing Christmas song of all time comes courtesy of this bizarre album track from John Denver in We're almost impressed that it happened at all. Better stick with Brenda Lee.
For any Star Wars fans out there who think that The Last Jedi was the worst thing that has ever happened to it, think again. The album features Star Wars -themed Christmas songs and stories about a droid factory where the robots make toys year-round for 'S.