How to Save Your Marriage

6 Solid Tips to Save Your Marriage From Divorce For Women

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Money isn't the thing that couples fight about most, Benson says, but it does tend to be at the root of their most intense disputes. He recommends couples have a joint account and talk openly about their spending habits. No more reading work emails or catching up on the headlines when you're together, says Vardag.

Luckock suggests banning screens from the bedroom. It's amazing the quality time together you will regain by disconnecting from social platforms, says Luckock. And if you find yourself having intimate online chats with someone who is not your spouse, log off indefinitely. Your mood and energy are inextricably connected to how much sleep you get.

If you've got young children and your nights are regularly interrupted, take it in turns to sleep in, says Russell. Be sensitive about turning the light out early if your spouse is tired or has an early start, and if either of you are suffering from insomnia, try to work through it together by exercising, eating earlier or avoiding stressful conversations before bed.

4. Act as if your spouse’s happiness is more important than your own.

Try to stop yourself calculating who has done what. We all overestimate how much we contribute compared with other people because we're more aware of what we do, says happiness guru Gretchen Rubin. Once out of your mouth, words can never be retrieved, warns Luckock. No one likes constant reminders in a barking or whinging tone.

If you need to remind your spouse of a job, use few words in a non-accusatory way. Rubin has got it down to "Milk! It's not acceptable to be stressed out at weekends and on holiday. Switch off your emails and focus on enjoying quality time with your family. And leave work on time - your spouse matters more than presenteeism. You can't live with someone day in, day out and expect no conflict.

Natalie's Tips

And let your children see you make up after an argument. Conflict resolution is so important, says Seyfried Herbert. They learn that perfection is not achievable - or even right. Regina Lavelle The Christmas before Lorna Hughes' second marriage, her daughter Sarah, then 25, asked if she could add another guest to the list.

Rose Mary Roche In recent months, the challenges facing rural Ireland have materialised in quick succession - the delay in the National Broadband Plan, the proposed closure of over rural post Ed Power It's the most wonderful time of the year. Or at least it is if you're eight years old and enjoy dressing up as a putrescent corpse. If you're a little older, a little wiser, and a little less enamoured of You've been struggling to conceive, and your GP has now advised you to explore your options in Anna Tyzack has some advice on how to keep the flames of love burning bright On the rocks: January 11 2: Kiss, cuddle and say "I love you" Brush your teeth first, but every day should begin with a kiss, says Benson.

Make time to make love "We don't have time for sex," is an excuse family law expert Katherine Rayden hears from too many couples. Go away on adventures regularly Spend the night away from home together regularly and take care not to allow holidays to be a continuation of your daily chores in a foreign setting particularly if you have young children. Take time to greet your spouse "When you get home from work, give your spouse an uninterrupted minute of your time - make them feel honoured," says Seyfried Herbert.

Keep hold of who you are But remember, you are a TEAM You don't have unlimited freedom if you're married, particularly if you have children.

Ask yourself why A neglected spouse quickly turns to micromanaging - i. Lose weight, drink less, give up smoking The healthier you are, the more fun you are to be around, says Russell. Compliment each other "If you want to have sex with your wife at the end of the day, start the day by making her feel valued and loved," says Seyfried Herbert. Get a joint bank account Money isn't the thing that couples fight about most, Benson says, but it does tend to be at the root of their most intense disputes.

Put your phones away No more reading work emails or catching up on the headlines when you're together, says Vardag. Don't keep score Try to stop yourself calculating who has done what. Choose your words carefully Once out of your mouth, words can never be retrieved, warns Luckock.

Leave work at work It's not acceptable to be stressed out at weekends and on holiday. It won't all be plain sailing You can't live with someone day in, day out and expect no conflict. Most Read Most Shared. Irish schoolboys record 'Lean on Me' to raise funds for classmate with Life Newsletter Our digest of the week's juiciest lifestyle titbits.

Emma Murphy on the silent damage of psychological What are your options? On one side, list things you could work on and, on the other, list things your spouse could do. You and your spouse could each make lists, then compare them with each other. For instance, you might write that you need to focus less on work, stop ordering your partner around, and be more affectionate. Commit to working on your individual shortcomings. Keep your tone constructive when you discuss your lists of potential solutions.

Focus on how you can contribute to a solution instead of emphasizing the changes your spouse should make. Likewise, your spouse should focus on what they can do. Get help from a marriage counselor. A counselor can offer an objective perspective and help you develop the skills needed to mend the gap in your relationship. Try not to be nervous or self-conscious about seeing a counselor or therapist.

8 Tips on How to Save Your Marriage From Divorce

Provide constructive feedback instead of launching personal attacks. All spouses get annoyed with each other and complain about pet peeves. If you want to save your marriage, you and your spouse need to learn how to discuss your problems respectfully and constructively. Stop , breathe, and relax instead of yelling. No matter how frustrated you are with your spouse, do your very best to control your temper.

Editors Choice

In order to save your marriage, you and your spouse both need to keep your emotions in check. Stonewalling is when a partner shuts down or gives the silent treatment. You and your spouse need to communicate in order to resolve conflicts. However, don't just ignore each other.

Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt instead of always assuming their words and actions are malicious. Do your best to show them empathy instead of responding with anger. We need to let each other in, and stop assuming that we know what the other is thinking. Strive to have substantial conversations regularly. Set aside a time of the day for you and your spouse to have a good talk.

Try to keep distractions, such as TV, phones, kids, or work, to a minimum. Rather than discussing chores and necessities, talk about your opinions, feelings, curiosities, fears, and goals. As you go about your day, note news stories, funny things you see, and other potential conversation starters. Additionally, let your spouse vent about their day to you.

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Providing each other a shoulder to lean on can help you rebuild your bond. Focus on the present instead of digging up the past.

It can be tempting to bring up something that happened 10 years ago to back your argument. Instead, aim to make your point calmly and rationally, and work with your spouse to find a compromise. As difficult as it is, try to forgive them for hurting you in the past. Think about first meeting your spouse, your first date, when you got engaged, your wedding, and when your children were born, if you have any. Try to remember how you felt during these pivotal moments. Perform small acts of kindness every day.

The little things in life make a bigger impact than grand gestures, so show each other kindness every day.

Pay each other compliments, write each other notes or emails, and do other small, random acts that show you care. Go on fun, exciting dates together. Try to schedule a date night every week, or as often as you can. To alleviate boredom, do something new and exciting each time.

You could try out a new restaurant or cuisine, go to a concert, go hiking, or explore a new part of your city. If you have kids, ask your parents, in-laws, or a babysitter to watch them so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Open up about your physical and emotional needs. Tell your spouse you want to be open and honest with each other about your needs, wants, and desires. Let them know that they can trust you, and that they can share anything without fear of judgment. I want to fulfill your emotional and physical needs, and we both need to let each other know how to be the best partner.

Try to become physically intimate little by little. It can be tough to rebuild a physical bond, so take it slow. Begin holding hands, hugging, and cuddling more often. As you grow more comfortable being physically intimate, work on touching each other, kissing and, eventually, having sex more often. My husband had an affair after 18 years of marriage I fear that we are headed toward a divorce I'm not ready for. He says he doesn't want a divorce either. What do I do? Recognize that a divorce is not inevitable after an affair. Many marriages survive infidelity, but people don't talk about it much.

Not Helpful 0 Helpful 6. It sounds like it's time to evaluate your relationship. He sounds like he has anger issues. If you find yourself walking on eggshells around him, it's time to seek counseling, and have a serious talk.

Not Helpful 3 Helpful Go out more often. Spend romantic time together to remind each other why you fell in love in the first place. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 5. My husband says he isn't sure if he's still in love with me. He wants to move out to get some space and clear his head. We have a 2-year-old and 6-month-old.

I don't want him to leave; what can I do? Unfortunately, if he really wants to leave, there's nothing you can do to stop it. Even if you still love him deeply and want to continue, if he doesn't, it doesn't continue. However, you do have a right to get clarity from him. Try to agree to something that suits you both. Instead of moving out, consider sleeping in separate beds for a while, or agree to only talk about these matters on Thursdays, giving the two of you guaranteed peace of mind all the other days.

Not Helpful 0 Helpful 2.

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