Manual Good Grief: How to recover from grief, loss or a broken heart

Healing a Broken Heart

Contents:

Good Grief: How to recover from grief, loss or a broken heart

The first is this: There are four factors shaping your bereavement experience:.

You can see how those factors work to make your bereavement experience different from that of others. This uniqueness means you should never compare your grief to anyone else's: There's no benefit in comparison, so avoid it altogether. You can listen to—and learn from—what other grievers have to say; just don't "compare".

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There are three other pillars of mourning to remember:. Always take it one day at a time. As much as you can, stay in the present moment. Don't slip into the past for very long, and don't look too far into the future. There's no real way for you to picture it accurately. Do one thing every day to move you toward achieving the four tasks of mourning. Whenever possible, share your thoughts and feelings with people who care about you.

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This could mean a weekly chat with a friend, time spent with your pastor; or it may be prudent to join a grief support group, either online or in-person. Some describe mourning as an emotional roller coaster ride.

Expect to feel things like fear, relief, anger or guilt; you might even find yourself feeling nothing: Expect to be confused, forgetful and disorganized in your thinking. There's no predicting how you'll feel from minute to minute, so don't even try. Instead, do your best to learn from these emotions.

You also should expect to feel "grief bursts"—overwhelming surges of emotion—at unexpected times. This experience was beautifully described by the French novelist Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette:. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer No matter how odd what emotion you're feeling may seem; always remember it's a normal and healthy expression of your grief.

Good Grief: How to recover from grief, loss or a broken heart

Stay focused, but remember your limits. Grieving is both mentally and physically tiring. When you feel you can't take anymore, back off. Get rest; eat well, and cancel or reschedule what appointments you can. All you may want to do right now is to shut everyone out, but this would be counter-productive. Instead, have a modified "open door policy": And remember, when you need to take a time out, it's really okay to lock your door so you can rest.

Use ritual to make your grieving a sacred experience. Personal rituals which engage the senses—such as the lighting of a candle, beginning or ending the day with a calming yoga practice, journaling or other creative endeavors, even the ritualized use of essential oils—do much to affirm the sacred nature of the transition you're going though as well as affirm the otherworldly connection you still have with the deceased.

Turn to your faith. If you have a religious background, this is not the time to neglect your spirituality. While the death of your loved one may cause you to doubt your beliefs for a time, or even force you to change your beliefs based on what you've experienced; revisiting your spiritual training can be useful to you right now.

Find significance and meaning in your loved one's death. You'll never be able to answer all the questions you have like "Why did this have to happen? Hang on to your memories, but don't cling to them. This item is out of stock. Have one to sell? Get an immediate offer. Get the item you ordered or your money back. Learn more - opens in new window or tab. See other items More Redeem your points Conditions for uk nectar points - opens in a new window or tab.

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Healing a Broken Heart Grief and Loss

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