A Smorgasbord of SEXUAL STORIES

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The Joy of Sex: An Endless Smorgasbord - PopMatters

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Alex Comfort's enduring legacy, my best friend Adam and I managed to sneak into the TV room during a sleepover at his house to catch the late showing of Revenge of the Nerds on cable. This followed a perfunctory viewing of Porky's , but Revenge of the Nerds was all the more revelatory when Booger cried exultantly "We've got bush!

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Roughly speaking, I can break down the culture of sex I grew up in into three categories: By the time I encountered The Joy of Sex a second time, I'd begun to understand the nuances of the first two, thanks to the magic of television. But a few years after that first incident, while searching for a Band-Aid, I discovered that same tan cover again. And that time I had the house to myself in the afternoons, so I lay on my bed and read.

Sex's connection to love was clear in my mind, and I was fairly well aware of the difference between love and lust. Public school had done me the great favor of explaining the science of the body, and now the concepts of The Joy of Sex had context and purpose.

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But as I read, the idea of sexual pleasure and fulfillment became more real and emotive. In the pages of Comfort's work, I discovered the notion of sex as connection between partners, exploration and intimacy between couples who shared themselves with love, and the idea of sexual play as sexual health. The mid-'80s were a decidedly different environment than , when the book was first published, but the guide was nevertheless eye-opening on the possibilities of what a true sexual connection could do, free of many of the taboos and restraints that yet persisted, and how it could unite two lovers in a real emotional bond.

Sex revealed itself to be yet more complicated than I imagined, but in many regards was at least less confusing. Of course, The Joy of Sex remained but one element in my sexual education. It would be a lie to say that I was any less engaged by sex in entertainment and advertising, or any less furtively drawn to pornography, but all of this remained tempered by an understanding that loving sex, the best sex, lay in the realm of real intimacy and connection between partners.

Also ingrained was the idea that the act of sex was a skill that improved with practice, and that the basic mechanics of thrust were merely the beginning of sexual performance. I sought out more knowledge, and other voices from the sexual health and advice industry impressed upon me -- Nancy Friday, Dr.

Ruth, Chinese pillow books, and so on -- and the complexity of sexuality grew for me, in large part because of the doors that Comfort helped open. The original is well known almost as much for where it stumbled as where it succeeded in a frank exploration of sexual practices.

Comfort's thinly veiled framing of the text as collected from an adventurous couple he knew; the overwhelmingly masculine perspective, the florid ideals of free love; the slightly skeevy illustrations -- everyone remembers the illustrations. A pair of "natural types" -- the man of average build sporting shaggy hair and a bushy unkempt beard, the woman more graceful but unfashionably hirsute -- the drawn couple neatly encapsulated all that made it possible to dismiss The Joy of Sex as a hippie love manual for sexually liberated swingers.

And yet, despite the misgivings of audiences since, the book was a product of its times, arriving when sexual barriers were eroding and those who embraced liberation were grasping at new and radical ideologies.

Comfort's vision was to embrace a sex-positive platform, a lifestyle for lovers that not only gave readers permission to have adventurous sex, but to further celebrate it as a spiritual and transformative act. And whether by demand from a public eager to engage with sex, or the notoriety of the forbidden and banned, The Joy of Sex sold well, finding a foothold in an increasingly public sex industry. As Deep Throat made pornography a topic of dinner party conversation, The Joy of Sex bridged the gap between the Kama Sutra and the '70s.

The Joy of Sex: An Endless Smorgasbord

Comfort himself compounded the problem of The Joy of Sex 's legacy. Where the book seems to speak from an enlightened perspective of holistic sexuality, Comfort lived out his own image in unfortunate ways. The original text of the book sprung from an affair the doctor was having with his wife's best friend.

When the affair became public following the publishing of The Joy of Sex , he left his wife and moved with his lover, eventually settling near a California nudist colony and intent on living in an open relationship, which eventually drove a wedge into that relationship. The Girl in the Keyhole 6. Her Secret Admirer 7. My Wife's Twin 8. The Perfect Wife 2: Cuckold with the Boss 9.

The Restaurant Challenge Online Booty Call My Training Partner The Supermarket Challenge The Girl in Room My Sex Slave His Best Friend's Wife Doing it for Love Night with a Trucker The Restroom Challenge Trailer Park Sex Party: New Year's Eve Orgy The Perfect Wife 3: Sex in the Suburbs: The Real Housewives of Windsor County The Perfect Scam

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