A New Beginning: REFLECTIONS of a Cancer Survivor

Five years on – the journey from cancer patient to survivor

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I was in a crazy land, I had conversations, but I could not determine the mindset of the participants. I hated not being able to read people. I was frustrated and baffled by my insecurity, I needed to see inside their heads.

I was certain no one else was attuned to the subtleties of human interaction. Otherwise, they might have noticed the distance in my eyes. They might have heard my voice coming from far away, as if I were standing in the empty room. If you think hair is your crown and glory it's not!!! Our crown is truly in heaven I was silent for a while because of the overwhelming effects of my chemo. Every new chemo brought mouth blisters, nausea, pain, and gastric burning I felt like I was on autopilot most of the time, just trying to endure the pain and not think too much about the future.

I worked so hard during the grueling months to regain strength, stamina, and mobility. I like to think that in the dissociated silence that settled over me, my mind sent messages to my body, ravaged from chemo that I could get through this. Then I needed to come to terms with the loss of my beautiful breast. I could have elected to grieve forever over their death or move on and continue to live a normal life, even though it is not!!! Throughout this journey I have learned life lessons that I hope can help others.

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That prayer reminds us that we are alive and that life is a gift from God. A privilege, not a right!! You must stay in touch with the Holy Spirit so reality doesn't destroy you!!! Typically when sewing, we're drawn to a selection of fabric because of the color, texture, or theme. But occasionally we'll come across some fabric that simply reminds us of someone special or a pattern might jump out that reflects a certain passion of loved ones. These colors and patterns have a common thread. Common threads that are woven through the fabric of our lives.

There are many threads, but the way I see it, there are two luminescence, holy threads that make the fabric that comforts me.

They are the desire to hear stories of others walking in similar shoes and the desire to be heard!! The thing I know most about dealing with cancer is to have people that were highly present, absolutely right there with me. It was more than what they said; their presence was very comforting and reassuring. Knowing what I know now, I'm certain they were rushed for time and overworked. These threads have definitely woven themselves throughout my own cancer experience. My grandmother always said, "You never know who your true friends are until you go through a crisis and see who stands by your side.

This is my reflection of living with breast cancer. I am attempting to walk the fine line of faith. I am interested in telling my story which would create images of a powerful message for women, images which speak of the depth of the experience and not of the victimization of the disease. Breast cancer takes the victim's innocence in the way it is portrayed in a hospital. It seems a common thread….. The thing is God knows who is looking in through the fabric at me!!

So I have a responsibility to not let those down who are looking through at me.

I'll stop writing for now and go back to weaving my fabric one friend at a time. Singing high to the heavens so my grandmother can hear, a hymn she sang called "One day at a time!! Strength is never losing the will to do what is right; it is carrying others through troubled times through your own challenges; it is having faith in optimism. Strength became my shining characteristic in October , when I was diagnosed with breast cancer followed by a double mastectomy procedure in November.

Friends would say this Harley cruiser is daring, and they truly recognized my courage when chemo treatments led me to shave my head - it was a new beginning through the support of my family, encouragement of friends and sharing the experience with other members of the Kitty DeGree Breast Cancer Support Group.

Breast Cancer Survivor Portrait Gallery Monroe, Louisiana (LA), St. Francis Medical Center

I serve as an inspiration in my community. After finishing treatment just after my fiftieth birthday, I focused on my spirituality and took time to reflect on life. I added to my list of hobbies including painting classes, engaging in tennis lessons, and spending more time in the garden. I stay busy now as a school teacher, mother of three, devoted wife, sister, and loyal friend. My name is Betty Swanson and my journey through breast cancer began August I remember hearing the words that no one ever thinks they'll hear, "You have breast cancer. When I found the lump in my breast, I kept thinking it would just go away or that it was nothing.

Well, it didn't go away. I finally made an appointment with my doctor after finding out that a friend at church had been diagnosed and was preparing to have a double mastectomy. Thankfully, my loving husband Ray was with me the day I had my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, when I was told the lump was most likely cancerous.

My case has been described as complex and complicated due to the problems and setbacks I've had along the way.

My body has changed so much that at times I look in the mirror and don't know who I am. A core needle biopsy, double mastectomy, four rounds of chemotherapy, subsequent hair loss, blood clots, numerous scans, tests and surgeries can't change my faith in God. In fact, my faith has sustained me through the most difficult times. My prayer today is for anyone facing the battle of breast cancer.

Just remember that you're not alone sister. Cling to your faith, cling to God and know you're loved! Everyone has secret fears, I guess. My biggest fear was always cancer.

I never watched "cancer movies" - those sad, "people-dying" things and I wouldn't listen to stories about cancer struggles if I could avoid them. I am not unfeeling or hard hearted, I just couldn't deal with such a scary thing as cancer.

It seemed impossible terrible for everyone involved. Then in June , I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thus began the journey about which everyone speaks. At that point, fear turns into a strong determination to win. Cancer is no match for the determined spirit of a mom. I had a life to live and two boys to raise. In my case, I had a tumor in my right breast and a suspicious sot on my left.

I chose a bilateral mastectomy and never looked back. The oncologist patiently explained treatment options and I began chemotherapy. After the first session I figured out chemo wasn't really scary after all. Each inconvenience, each chemo session, each medical appointment was a small victory. One more step in finishing the journey set before me. It wasn't especially fun, but I met a lot of nice people, and I proved how strong I am.

I can call myself a survivor now! I can always look to God's Word for instant and constant encouragement. My absolute favorite verse is Matthew Yet not one of them will fall to ground apart from the will of your Father. Spending it outside instead of being cooped up all day.

Aurora Avila

Trying a new restaurant all together. Spending time with family and friends and really being present. Things that maybe I would have ignored or pushed off before. I have stopped thinking about what the plan for my life was and started to think about what the plan is. Life threw me lemons even though I planned on making orange juice. So what did I do? I took those lemons and made a lot of lemonade during chemo because it really seemed to help with the nausea. So, I have changed my attitude and learned to appreciate what I have now, turkey wrap taste aversion, lemons, and all.

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You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. It is not about the diseases we call cancer, but about life after a diagnosis. The photographs visually portray the personalities and emotional states of the participants expressing their triumph over adversity. When Megan Berry and Kelley Cohen were asked at the end of our interview how they felt about their experience, they lept for joy. Then I met like-minded others. I saw in them a kind of hope I had not thought possible. As a result, I began to design this book, the kind of book I wish had existed when I was diagnosed with cancer.

A book that told enough stories so that I would identify with more than one. A book with enough diagnoses and ages so that I would find more than one like me. A book with enough hope so that even I would find inspiration. Cancer forces people to put their lives on hold. It can cause physical and emotional pain, and result in lasting problems.

It may even end in death. But many people gain a new perspective on life. It is as if their senses become more finely tuned by facing their own mortality. Their lives take on new meaning. As Aurora Avila explained: When you are looking. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I was devastated.

Reflections of a Childhood Cancer Survivor

My first reaction was fear, which was soon followed by a crushing sense of feeling all alone. I felt alienated and estranged from everyone. It was like I was living in a different universe. I was so angry. But then I met Rabbi Ed Feinstein who profoundly separated the concept of healing, of being whole, from being cured: When they balance, we are whole…whether or not we are cured.

For many survivors, cancer becomes a gift, a catalyst for accepting limitations, mortality, and strengths. Liia, mother of Robert Ram: We quickly realized how precious life is. We could have lost one of our children. So now we tell them all to live every day because you never know what tomorrow might bring. As I spoke with the survivors in New Beginnings , I discovered an intriguing combination of fragility and inner strength. They were fragile in that they had a realistic assessment of what they had lost, and of the obstacles that lay ahead.

They had undergone a sometimes painful process of self-examination, honestly facing up to their shortcomings and mistakes, while determining to do better. Their strength was based in a belief that they could overcome the obstacles, and that their fate was in their own hands. They did not necessarily think of themselves as being cured; but they felt that they were going to do everything possible to make the most out of whatever time they had left.

You have to learn to pick up the pieces when they all fall apart.

MORE IN LIFE

I learned that I needed to live life exactly as it was being handed to me. I needed to be present in Stage 4 because there is no Stage 5. Cancer teaches us that each day is a day meant to be appreciated, and not taken for granted. There is a sense of gratitude, the understanding that.

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