TRIPPER: When a man takes a fall, who takes the blame? (MAD CAREW)

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Five Guys You Should Never Settle For

Sending peace and healing across the Internet to wherever you are. I feel for anyone who lives with TBI. There are definitely multiple perspectives and not everyone is just an inconsiderate asshole by default. As someone who works with someone with a TBI, it's impossible to know what they do or don't remember and of course it's incredibly difficult to be the punching bag for their anger. I have compassion but when shit is thrown at you daily and they blame you for their shortcomings, it's challenging to continue to show compassion.

It's challenging to help someone as much as you can and just be screamed at, belittled, blamed and accused of sabotage. I suffered a traumatic brain injury 32 years ago. I was not aware of the moodiness, anger, or frustration I go through daily. I believe that with my not being able to always see what everybody else considers not "normal", as my fault.

Suffering such an injury has closed many doors for me. I am trying to better myself and grow. I am thankful for all these sites that allow me to learn and grow. I was shot in the head while protecting teens from gang violence. This article described my sentiments perfectly! I shared this article with many of love ones so they can understand me better with this very precisely articulated article.

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I have been dating a man with a TBI with a severely narcissistic personality for 4 years. I am a nurse and I feel a very caring person. I have struggled to prevent the suicidal ideation in my own life due to the constant negativity and anger management issues that he struggles with daily.

There's no rhyme or reason to the moods. I actually moved out for 6 months and then felt like I could handle it and came back. The worst part is I have a daughter who is 7. We both love him but we are getting hurt so badly. I always felt I was never a quitter in life. I could always see the good even during my worst days. I have always battled depression myself.

When were you born?

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel that I'm going to have to love him from afar for my own sanity. Not sure what to do. He needs Psychiatric help. Someone that can better delve into what's going on and can prescribe medications to get things on track. You didn't comment on what medications he is on.

But he needs to be on an anti-depressant like Venylfaxine. That's what I take, and I take mg a day. Most people hear that dosage and are "wow". But I dropped back to mg So back up to mg and life is better than is has been in a long, long time. I am 10 years post Severe Traumatic Brain Injury. Each year I can look back and think that life is better than the one before.

The first few years are just awful. The brain is rewiring itself as best it can. That means mental fatigue will be an issue for the rest of his life, like mine. I have to be aware that by about 4PM its time to sit in my chair and read, play games on my phone or watch TV. If I try to continue working on something, things go wrong, I get angry, and nothing is gained.

1. You seem fine to me.

But I do have Clonzapam 30mg to take for the anxiety when things start to go off the track. One thing he must come to understand is that who he was pre-TBI died that day. And now his quest is to learn who he is now and how to manage life. Can't keep going back to "I used to be able to".

Because that's gone now. But learning how to do new things Its also very important that he get back out in the world and socialize. You his caregiver are not the right person. I now belong to two mens breakfast group. I have a high school classmate that introduced me and got me started. The rest of the men in both, I don't have that much in common with. But I go and listen and ask questions I may not understand the answer, I'm not a sports person and one group are all retired high school coaches. It gets me out there.

I have breakfast at 7AM, five days a week. I have friends that if I bump into them out in the world. We always share a hello, how are you. That's very important for a TBI survivor. To sit at home invites dementia into the brain, and that is a disaster that everyone should do their best to avoid. Keep the brain active. I belong to four online forums that revolve around things I like to do Its also important that you attend some of the Psychiatric appointments, but not all of them.

I found that sometimes its important for the Dr to chew me out and get me thinking, give me things to work on. Sometimes it will be important for you to be there, so that you can be honest and tell the Dr what you are seeing and experiencing. Seek professional counselling to learn how to handle the mood swings. My boyfriend committed suicide 2 years ago. My situation sounds very similar to yours The love was there but needed off the roller coaster I miss him so terribly and wish I had sought help..

I feel like I failed him so badly. I also being a nurse should have realized the mood swings were to be expected. I did not educate myself enough and just took everything personally. Sounds to me he's someone you really don't want to live without Do whatever it takes She is very similar to your husband in regards to the constant negativity and anger management issues she has. Now we don't have any kids but from my own experience I did have to take a step back and love her from afar for my own sanity. I love her so much and it was the hardest thing to do.

We stopped all contact for a couple months at first and it really helped me mentally because it was like walking on glass before. I completely understand what you are going through and if you have any questions or anything you would like to know I would be happy to help: So please, try to find a way to show up! So if you could, and if you do really absolutely love her, then try and practice that love with action by being there for her. It sound like you are all going through a very hard time, I would suggest reaching out to friends and family for support as well as a counselor who can help you both sort this out.

The Brain Injury Association has local offices all over the place and they offer a great support network, not just for those who have had the brain injury but for those closest to them as well. I hope things get better. I want to talk about the issues I have in dealing with life. Strategies for driving the rewiring of my injured brain. My group offered nothing like this, so I quit after three years. I have found Psychologists Counselors to be almost worthless. They can't prescribe the medications a survivor needs to get back to living.

Whether the Survivor likes it or not My life has been so much better since doing a 72 hour Mental Health hold in my local hospital. The Staff Psychiatrist was so much help because people like us make up a fair portion of their patient load. I'm happy, I can take on projects and complete them. I can be with others without my TBI showing up. Just feel good and know that I'm doing good!! Some people are a bit wowed by the mg dosage. After the first year my PCP allowed me to vary the dosage and then choose what worked best for me Now for men anyway, it can give you a great case of anorgasmia.

But there are ways to deal with that. So get this person the help they really need, as I have described is working so well for me, and hopefully life will get much better. Oh, and I'm a survivor so I ramble Mental fatigue means limiting your days to the number of hours that don't cause fatigue to lead to anger. Gotta learn when to say "stop". I am two years out from my TBI, and just recently have been diagnosed with having epilepsy! I have a hard time accepting my new normal , but I am very fortunate to have a loving wife that loves and accepts the new me! I am sure she has to bite her tongue quite often, but she does willingly!

Losing short term memory, forgetting the reason you walk into a room and coming back 3 times before you remember, having thoughts run through your head like a pinball in a pinball machine or how little things that would not be stressful to the normal person become giant to a TBI survivor! My goal each week is to make it to Friday,so I can sleep all weekend so I can make it through the next week! Work with your Dr to find an anti-convulsive that works for you.

Mine is Oxcarbepazine, mg in the morning, mg in the evening. Its also a mood stabilizer, and that really helps. Its not wrong at all to tell your co-workers that you are a TBI survivor and that for all of us, mental fatigue is a big issue. So we jump into the real work in the morning, and do the lesser things towards the end of the day.

For me, the last three years of work about a six hour day was it. But I was there for 10 did the best I could, and that's it. Now in retirement it can be even more difficult. I sometimes beat myself up for not getting enough done in a day. Here on my place I used to work 15 to 17 hours a day getting the place built up.

Well, its still about 6 hours a day and I have to learn not to be hard on myself. Hey we are still alive aren't we? I've always been a person of lists. I've gotten a "smarty phone" and learned how to use the Samsung Notes app and the Google Calendar with reminders to keep me on track with life.

2. Maybe you’re just not trying hard enough (you’re lazy).

Just takes a bit of getting used to. No you've got to stop sleeping all weekend. You have to get out in the world, experience new things. That's what drives the brain to rewire itself Now my left optic nerve was damaged in the accident, so my left eye is completely blind. So I to am fearful of large groups.

But I'm learning how to adapt. Stay by the wall. Stay close to an exit door if it makes you feel more confident.

Oh, I forgot to write that loss of all self-confidence is a trait just about all of us survivors deal with. I don't do stairs without a handrail. I like to hold onto the rail with my left hand. So if I come nose to nose with someone, I tell them that my left eye is blind and I like to hold onto the rail with my left hand so that my right eye can see the rest of the stairs and help me make sure I don't fall.

Not a single person has gotten angry. They all tell me "you're doing well, let me get out of your way". We will be linking to this particularly great post on our site. Keep up the great writing. Thank you for this article. Maybe it will help educate someone and help them be more sensitive to this disability. Mother of adult son 29 with TBI DUE to concussion football 8th grade to semi pro ball his life just froze he just stop all activities completely changed From independent living on his on to no memory and confusion.

After getting loss one day. By doing missing person He was founf. We had him tested by a Nurologist doctor found out it was not. As his mom i told the doctor something has happen to him. NOT Scko he still has some issues. Cognitive, Emotions all of the TBI systom but since we were able to see a Neurologist tested him and we found out it was TBI we are being patient as We rebuilding trust with my son allowing him time to ajust to his new situation our life as a family leaning to live with all the new day by day changed in him.

Thanks for all the information its very helpful. In your article, you mention that some prescription drugs have been shown to reduce apathy. I would like to know if you can elaborate on this. I am having trouble finding any reliable scholarship on drugs that reduce apathy. Well, I think my anti-depressant is what got me moving away from apathy. I take mg of Venylfaxine every morning. I do know that some of my apathy came from a comment my wife's daughter made, an RN, and further research has shown to be correct. Upon coming back to life from a severe TBI all my self confidence was gone.

Its been 10 years now. I'm getting better year by year, but self confidence is something I'm still working to understand how to improve on. But the anti-depressant was the key for my situation. Feeling good about getting up and getting going. Taking on tasks and getting them completed. Being out and around other people. Learning how to socialize again. That's where one returns to living after a TBI.

One also needs to be cognizant that who they were pre-TBI is not who they are now. So its a voyage of discovery learning who you are again. And as the danged Dr always says to me "It just takes time". I don't know if you have a support system in your life of people who care? All it takes is a phone call. There's obviously a reason that you are self medicating, dir pain, depression etc.. Talk with a counselor, a trusted friend or family member, just talk to someone.

There's plenty of creative things you can do to make yourself feel better. This Is a Very True Article. I had to return to work in a mere 6 months to Survive, and at that time I didn't mind because I had more energy than I had ever had because of no seizures. It took 5 years for the Bruise on my brain to heal, and I was one irritable human being.

I looked fine, but my short term memory was Tremendously affected, and I was working inna manufacturing capacity. Had I not had confidence in myself, I would have been a disaster to those around me. If you lose friends because of your injury,, they weren't real friends to begin with. The friends that stuck by my side and the new ones who have accepted me since, have a Friend For Life. The most frustrating part is you are consciously aware that you are not the same and there is nothing you can do to go back to who you were. I was positive nothing bothered me now I am negative and everything is a huge ordeal.

Then you must get help You could try a wedding, a lot of stupid men go to them. The point is, you want a man? This guy sounds like a turd, flush it! Yes, it goes both ways. Men experience this with women too. Warning signs you should run from! I am going through the same situation with this man im dating. It is sooo hurtful and my self-esteem has been damaged.

I tell him he has hurt me and he refuses to apologize says he doesnt want the drama, but wont leave. Ive been having pannick attacks because of him too, whenver he texts me, leaves messages, im so afraid its gonna be something that will hurt me even more and I wont recover emotionally. I know how you all feel and I am too, struggling to move on and recover. I dated a guy for almost 4 yrs that exhibited the same traits like these.. He had every single trait discussed on this article.

I thought I had found the man that I was meant to be with to marry but I was wrong. Through it all I almost lost my life in a car accident and he didnt even visit me when i was in the hospital.. He treated me so badly and I was so stupid to stay with him as long as i did. He left me during a bad time and continued his life drinking, partying and having fun. It still hurts to this day. Hurt my heart to the core. I feel like I will never get justice. But I am thankful to God that he is no longer in my life and that I didnt end up unhappy with this man for the rest of my life cause i could have easily gotten trapped.

Are we having experience with the same guy? I am exactly in the same situation, exactly with the same scenario. And it goes on and off for months now. I tried to get out letting him know that I was not willing to continue such a so called friendship and I ignored him for weeks. He could not take it and sent me an email telling that he found one of my emails in his spam. Such a lame excuse. He also backed off after our the first date, ignored me, replied only to my calls and emails when he wanted to.

I had to realize that he is not interested at all, played me and still he does not want me to let go. It is really exhausting and does not help to build a healthy self-esteem. I fell for this guy and by knowing that he is really manipulating me emotionally. He is lying to my face, he is never clear on anything. I am just trying to move on and it is hard.

I am really hurt. Move on and do not expect anything good out of it. They are really good players. The Non-Committal; I think I started seeing one of these a few weeks ago. He and I initially sent emails back and forth, and then after the first date he backed off. No problem, except that I had to go there several miles away , and re-arrange my schedule three times to spend time with him. Then I hear from him last Friday. It seems he only emails once a week.

The last email, over a week ago, I asked if we could both attend a performance together. High to Low Avg. Available for download now. Only 1 left in stock more on the way. Almost a Hero May 01, Available for immediate download. She's on the streets and taking no prisoners Nov 16, When a man takes a fall, who takes the blame?

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