How I Survived Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - A Personal Journey

---

Am I broken for life? Any words of advice welcome. Its normal and common for people to feel as you do sometimes it can come about later on fotr no reason or a trigger like a failed or stressful relationship. Principally not having a group or prople who have similar backgrounds as you as support can leave one isolated and paranoid, more so if you have anxiety problems. Try to skype or do whatever you can to establish a reconnect to people from your past or youth from where your from. Im sure many of them would be really interested in your experiences and by talking about things it will release some ptsd or anxieties and give you a base of support from familiar grounds.

Dont give up and look for outlets you havnt explored. Hell, tumbling in a Rodeo down an embankment and waking up hours later to a broken leg and stuck in the truck is serious traumatic stress. We go into the "Fight or Flight" stage of reaction to any traumatic event. So, all of these events hit you with traumatic stress, but you effectively navigated your way out at that moment.

What happens next is thinking about what just happened. Often, we find ways to stop thinking about that moment by distraction or internalizing the feelings. Good God, getting back into a vehicle after my tumble was horrific, but I had no other option. That event happened 18 years ago and I'm still hypervigilant when driving. I trained myself to handle the situation and I am so the best driver ever now: The more death I saw, the more training I conducted in my head.

I had to change my thinking, deliberately. The same thing you did for so many years until it caught up with you. I am diagnosed with PTSD and all that comes with it. Been through so many different programs, different therapies, and different conversations to help pull me out this hole. All those emotions you describe are symptoms I went through. For me, they all popped out at the same time and freaked me out.

Alcohol was my doctor for 11 solid years. Unfortunately, I still allowed my thinking to keep me distant from everyone and anything reminding me of those stressful traumatic events. If you're crazy, over 20 million others stand with you. Change your thinking, change your life. You have to get back to that point where you had a proper perspective of events and functioned without the thought you have now. The first thing the Shrink does is put you on Wellbutrin to shift your mood.

Bwahaha - Most Vets agree this drug is crap. Then they try to help with anxiety you know, that piece of you that can't stop thinking or moving? Oh, these drugs will help take that edge off, but recent studies prove they only hurt more than help those of us suffering from PTSD. They'll have you on8 different meds with each having side-effects with the other.

Brother, if you desire to stay broken for life, maintain your current thought process. You will choose your path by choosing how to think about the past, present, and future. The only thing MAN controls is his thinking. Distract your mind so you reflect less on all those traumatic events. I found working my distraction. Exercise to induce the endorphins you need for your mood swings back to "happy. Humans are designed to interface with other humans. Without that interaction, you stay isolated and retain the cycle you are in now.

God Bless you, Brother! You are at war but within yourself. You need a "Strategy" for winning this war. Once you own your strategy, you'll develop tactics, techniques and procedures to win each of the daily battles you face. These events visiting you are quite horrendous There are many out there like you. You are not alone.

I used long walks along the beach I hid it all this time but now it's too heavy to carry anymore. What I went through is nothing compared to you guys today, but each night for this time if I sleep I get blown up, I normally go days awake NOS and coffee but I'm tired of it all. Really thinking of leaving society all together live on my farm no power no outside contact. I'm tired not weak just fucking done. I was in the Frankfurt PX parking lot when the car bomb detonated. I had been in the Army for 6 months, then.

I know how you feel. I have sleep issues nightmares and multiple other issues, too. I live on my very remote farm and keep to myself, mostly. The VA is little help. Just want to put you on a bunch of drugs. I have no use for that. The VA is a corrupt and lawless entity and a lawyer can roll their goat smelling asses up, most rickety tick. My symptoms got gradually worse as I got older. We do better when we are younger. I started getting fired from jobs in my mid's. I don't play well with pencil necks and others who practice stupidity.

I drank heavily from until last year. Drunk was the only time that I could laugh. I got lucky in My uncle retired from the VA after 30 years and got me started in the right direction. The big city VA hospitals are veteran meat grinders, where I am from. If you don't have VA access, file a disability claim for tinnitus ringing in the ears. They will approve that without issue. My uncle put me onto that. Once rated, you are in the system. You can use veteran service organizations like the American Legion, VFW or a county Veteran rep to file simple claims, like for hearing.

Do not waste your time using them for anything other than very simple claims. The VA practices chaos and insanity, by the minute, and their rules and regulations defy logic. They will roll up and blow away a veteran service rep and don't give a tinker's damn if he likes it or not.

PTSD Fact Sheet: Frequently Asked Questions

They will give up and go away whereas a lawyer will dig in, get mad and rip ass. You do not have to pay the attorney in advance. He gets a very fair percentage of the back pay award once he wins your claim. No win- no pay. Will money cure PTSD? No, but it doesn't hurt. In my case, it has greatly started me on the path to better mental health. I no longer have the stress of worrying about money, or dealing with the suck holes from the bank trying to take my home and farm or appeasing a college punk at a job, that walked in and got the boss job with no industry experience.

I spent a year on my farm and began to decompress. I have had horrible anxiety attacks since my time in the Army. I started with one or two a year in my younger days and progressed to upwards of four per month in my latter years. I get true spinning with profuse vomiting and am incapacitated for 48 hours during an attack. These have greatly reduced with my having the ability to stay on my farm and have control of all of my time, when I need to, without fear of loosing a job and all of the stress that goes with that.

I am beginning to get a handle on my issues, on my own. I am slowly developing my own coping mechanisms. I have stopped the 8 to 10 beers a day habit for starters. I started going to American Legion meetings and hanging out with other guys like me. I am not much for crowds but this crowd is a barrel of squirrels like me. I look forward to the meetings. It is good to be around guys that have been there.

Luckily, I had role models growing up who had been there. One was my Uncle Woodrow. Woodrow had severe PTSD but was able to function. He retired early while still young, was very financially stable and stayed home, when he needed to, as long as he needed, and would get back out when he felt better. Woodrow was a Marine Infantryman from to He fought at Guadalcanal, Okinawa, and Iwo Jima. He was in a Special Weapons Group and was deployed, every time, prior to the initial landings.

He was 92 when he died. I never saw him loose control until the very end. I asked him how he did it. He said, "I have come aparts, but I do it at home where nobody but my wife sees and I stay home, to myself, until I am better". The basic secrets to success: Are these the answers to everything? No, but its a damn good start G. Helping others like us get better helps me get better.

I want you to know that I won my case against the VA under very poor and daunting odds. They were sent directly to the VA. I had one record as proof of being at the Frankfurt PX during the bombing. I was denied on claims over and over and had to learn by trial and error. Their basis for every claim denial: I sent them a demand for copies of all of my medical records. They produced a half-dozen battalion aid station medical records and one minor hospital record from to from Germany.

I sent a second demand letter. Where are my hospital, troop medical clinic and dental records covering 15 years in service? They could not be produced! Lost my records and then rolled a grenade under my lawn chair. Turns out, all the records from before about are still in paper form and the VA uses a highly complex filing system to store them.

They take big stacks of paper, your medical records, and put a big red rubber band around them and put them in big piles, with other's medical records, that are stacked from floor to ceiling against the wall and from the wall to several feet out from the wall, and this has all been accomplished in a very long storage room.

Low-level FNG VA bureaucrat gets sent down to the paper pits of Hell and realizes that he has to dig through 65 tons of old stinky paper in an effort to locate veteran Joe Sh--bird's records.

Dry your tears boys and girls, like my lawyer says, "There's an APP for that". Veteran claims lawyers know this and rip ass in review hearings. My advice Brother Greg, go for it and get yourself some peace! Please excuse my drill sergeant flashback and the ramblings of a politically incorrect old grunt.

I won for the same incident and you can too. My husband retired with 32 years of service and has PTSD. He does well for a while but suddenly he snapps, and starts to hide through the house. Can you help me understand why is this happening?

Who develops PTSD?

Faith, your husband's behavior is consistant with brain injuries from blast or blunt force head injury. Did he suffer any of these? If so, he needs to be evaluated by a qualified Nuerologist. Many times, the scans may not show results. Brain injuries are tricky. Do not let the VA or Tri-Care pukes blow you off on these tests.

There are over 90, of us walking around, right now, with untreated Traumatic Brain Injuries. I was wounded in two IED attacks in I was 22 years old. My symptoms did not manifest until in my late 40's and got much worse in my early 50's. I had multiple concussions in service from the IED's, two armored vehicle crashes and shooting missles. I take medication to help with symptoms.

Before taking any medication from the VA, I see my civilian doctor for a referal to a specialist for a second opinion on the VA's prescription. I have to pay for these doctor visits but it is well worth it.

In a couple of cases, my civilian doctor told me not to take what the VA had prescribed. They don't call it "Candy Land" for nothing. Manifestation of symptoms, older in life, is very common. It has been continueously deployed since There are hordes of disabled veterans here. Talk to your husband during his calm periods and form a plan to see a Nuerologist or your primary care doctor.

I did not seek help on my own. Luckily I had an uncle that had retired from the VA. I went to the VA and started to get treatment. Group PTSD counseling is good for me. Do not get into a group with a bunch of guys telling horror stories. I got into one of those. I got my own horror stories and don't need to hear others.

Where group is beneficial is when we can share methods as to how we cope with issues and symptoms. Over time, we figure out our own paths to coping. Input from others like us can help us to figure out our own path. Another uncle was a Marine from until in the Pacific War. He had the same symptoms as your husband. They first manifested when he was in his 60's. He did short stays in the hospital and was good to go after a few days. Ready for all this to END!

Hi bud, Please hang in there. It had been 3 years and 2 months now. So I hired me a lawyer and finally everything is moving rather quickly. If you need someone to talk to please e-mail at bpabilo bellsouth. I will try my very best to help each one of us. Anonymous, hiding behind no name, your political accusation about left wing liberals is misguided and out of place on this forum.

There are many "left wing liberal" veterans suffering from PTSD, and for you to discount them is cowardly and a dis-service to their service.

Professionals

Shame on you for being so ignorant and narrow minded. Went to the gulf war with 3rd infantry division, stayed in bio hazard suit for days, had to take the pills and got a bio hazard shot, and was caught in a friendly fire incident when a private discharged his weapon in the Bradley fighting vehicle right next to me. Then he pulled the pin on a grenade playing with it. I got into Kuwait and saw all the burned bodies in vehicles I ever want to see. I was out on perimeter security for so long in the pitch black I started imagining things that weren't there. I got home and became physically ill.

And the nightmares started, insomnia, anger, anxiety and depression. I did not trust anyone. My family suffered because I didn't know how to relate how I was feeling. Some days I could not go out to go to work. After over 20 years my wife gave me a choice: She was the only one working and that made life hard on her. I did get diagnosed with ptsd, went to Texas rep to apply for compensation and he told me "yes, you went to war but you did not get a combat infantry badge, so sorry about your luck but it is not going to happen.

Life for me and my family has been horrible. Maybe I will get lucky and die and the nightmares of the hell we have been through will be over!! Thanks for nothing America. I am no better off than I was before I asked for help: I want to Thank You Sir for your service and for protecting us from harm Sir. Sounds like you need to just find a nice beautiful warm place to live away from all worries and stress. I hate that you guys have to go through this crap. Please be good to yourself.

Ask God to guide you and protect you.. I know things are hard but if I were in your shoes I would move where there is nature or move where there is ocean and beauty. Went to Vietnam October while I was over there in January of 68 I got knocked out for one more round I assumed it was a concussion one person died head blown off the other person eardrums gone and I got thrown into a B crater. Had a headache for over a month all the corpsman would do for me was give me Darvin.

For my headache since I was in combat after that till I left in 68 October off and on I would have startle response heart palpitations didn't know what it was when I was getting my physical to get out I told the physician I was giving me my out physical about how I felt what was going on and you wanted to keep me in the Marine Corps until they figured it out I begged him know please let me get out and he agreed.

Put on my medical records palpitations and see the VA if it continues so I got out a temper was pretty bad my marriage wasn't working out too good never hit my wife or anything and I have one daughter. So after 6 months could get a job I decided to go into the army went to Germany I was still having the anxiety which I didn't know that's what it was called and palpitation rapid heartbeat startle response and very anxious at times. Just a lot of heroin addicts and drunks that was about it 10 months later I came home stay in the Army for 2 more years got out but all the time while I was in the army every once in awhile I would get these really bad panic attack which they said was anxiety and I was scared a lot don't know why.

Then I got out of the military got a job with the Marine Corps at MCRD San Diego and things were gradually getting worse as far as my panic attacks uncontrolled anxiety and I didn't know what to do the first doctor I saw about it said I would have the Vietnam syndrome I told him he was full of shit I didn't care about Vietnam and had to be something else. Bessel Van der Kolk MD.

What is PTSD?

Bessel van der Kolk MD. It Didn't Start with You: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. Giraffe Adult Coloring Book: Giraffe Adult Coloring Book. Nadine Burke Harris M. From Surviving to Thriving: Getting Past Your Past: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures. In an Unspoken Voice: Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy. The Upside of Stress: Trauma Survivors' Strategies for Healing: A Workbook for Men: I am at my wits end trying to find an option that will help me be able to cope day-to-day with my symptoms as they are impacting my life in a very negative way.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and hopefully someone will be able to steer me in the right direction so that l can better manage my health and hopefully start to live my life. Cameron, I found your comment while looking for ways to manage my depression, anxiety, and ptsd. I too drink too much. I went to therapy for 7 mo. To a great therapist, and that's when I learned I had ptsd. The therapy was great because I understand what's happening better. I smoked weed for 25 yrs, I'm 42 now. And for a long time I think it helped. But I have a sensitive mind and body, and it eventually turned on me.

Basically it increased my anxiety suddenly. After yrs of anti depressants and off and on benzos.. I have come to the conclusion that there is no cure, only management. I believe that if I didn't drink, things could be better, but I'm sure you know how that goes. I've resigned to the idea of maintaining my dose of Effexor while using benzos when I have the most difficult times.

If you've ever gotten off of them.. I guess what I'm saying, is that you are not alone. And it makes me feel better to know the same. I wish you the best, only you can know what is best for you. Take care, and keep fighting the good fight! Try emdr when strong enough.

I too am diagnosed with PTSD and have had great success with cannabis as a medication. It helped me do the things I lost interest in. It helped me not be depressed. It helped me recall repressed memories. It really helped my recovery. If you get a chance, please check out my new blog, www. Then I suggest you do it if marijuana helps and calms you down and if marijuana helps decrease like helps you have less flash backs and helps your Ptsd then do it.

And pray for them to go away amen.!. PTSD is a real syndrome that needs to have additional research and options.

I am very sick. I have been diagnosed by a PhD psychotherapist and and MD psychiatrist. I currently take no medications, though I do attend talk therapy twice weekly. PTSD has destroyed my interpersonal life and family relationships. I am looking for support from this community or anyone. I was previously athletic, fit, and I am a young-ish female combat veteran.

• Lire entre les lignes (Petits contes ballistiques t. 1) (French Edition)
• Plum Punch: Life at Home
• Double Fault (The Vortex Series Book 2)
• The Freedom Merchants
• Marxism: For and Against